Chapter 15
That week on Wednesday, a very sharply dressed chap came in the office and asked for Dude Marvin. Dude stood up and shook his hand, giving him his card. He had a strong feeling he was Mr. Bad News, the fuzz, tax man or something. As it turned out, he was very wrong.
Marty Malone asked, "Where can we have a few words in private?"
Dude suggested they go across the street and have coffee.
As the waitress brought their order to the booth, Malone began, "Dude, I've been a fight promoter most of my life. Have a long term lease on a five thousand seat arena in a suburb of San Francisco. I saw Randolph and the girls last week and it gave me an idea that should prove to be very interesting to you. Bring that quartet up next Wednesday night and we can pack the place for two shows at eight and nine. Just the twenty minute show -no prostitution, they'd knock us over for that.
"We will all be arrested, no doubt, but that's what we want. I have a multi-millionaire friend who is devoting the rest of his life and all his fortune, if necessary, to repealing all laws about sex, pornography, and obscenity. He hires a lobbyist both in Sacramento and Washington.
"You see man, he has a complex about all that shit. Years ago when he didn't have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out, his only son was almost ready to graduate from Berkeley. One night he had a chick in the back seat of a car eating her pussy when this smart-assed young rookie cop shined his flashlight in on them. He was arrested, tried and sent to the big Q for a year. On release, he never went back to school but became a ass instead. He died three years later in a drunken brawl on skid row in San Francisco, a knife in his back. This man's wife soon died of a broken heart, so you can see why Mr. Tammany is bitter, very bitter.
"He has started a foundation to help accomplish his desire. Did you see his half page ad in "Playboy," recently. It started out 'Join F. U. C. K. today -Foundation for Unencumbering the Country's Kicks.'
"It went on to explain how, with a dollar donation, they would be sent a button reading, 'I have donated to FUCK.' Hope you get arrested because any day in court or jail the foundation would pay one hundred bucks. Also any fines or bails.
"One case has already been thrown out of the state Supreme Court. He is receiving an average of five hundred donations a day.
"When I told him about your show he insisted I fly down and try to book Randolph's act for next Wednesday.
"I have two hundred bartenders who sell fight tickets for me. I'll send each of them fifty tickets along with a few color photos of that black and white action. I'll guarantee your fifty-fifty cut will be fifty thousand dollars."
Dude was sold, saying, "Let's go back to my office and draw up a contract"
Dude and his integrated quartet took a non-stop PSA jet to San Francisco International and were met by Marty. In his Cadillac they drove about twenty-five miles to the Arena and entered the dressing room at 7:30.
As they were undressing, Marty got Dude aside and asked if he could have one of the twins then, before the show.
Dude asked, "Which one of you twins wants to give Marty a quickie, now?"
Stella answered, "We'll flip for it."
Mella gave Marty a two minute thriller.
As Marty had predicted, there were two packed houses.
Dude brought along five thousand, eight by ten color photos of the group in action. Marty had twenty topless, mini-skirted dolls walking all over the place selling them for a buck a piece, before each show started.
They were all sold out ten minutes before the second show and probably could have sold another thousand.
After the last show a half dozen policemen came to the ring with Marty, located Dude and arrested the six of them, hauling them off to headquarters. Mr. Tammany and his attorney were there waiting for them. They were booked, with a thousand dollar bail each. The attorney took a stack of bills out of his brief case and counted out for the sergeant six thousand bucks and they all left. Outside on the steps, Marty introduced everyone. Then the attorney drove them back to the Arena and Marty drove them to the airport.
On the flight back to San Diego, Dude handed each of the performers an envelope containing two thousand dollars. Two times four makes eight, fifty-five minus eight leaves a mere forty seven thousand dollars for our struggling real estate salesman, for one day's work.
Marty had booked the "Office Christmas Party" for two weeks later -same deal.