Chapter 9
It has been stated and restated, in this report and scores of others, that teenagers are a reflection of adults and adult society. There is little questioning of this rather broad statement. But perhaps there is something else here that escapes the common viewpoint.
"I think that we should treat teenagers better than we do," claims Dr. Maud Hansen, a university psychiatrist. "Today we tend to put extra loads on our youngsters and still expect them to behave in a socially acceptable manner. And they should. But we place too much blame and too many burdens upon our youth. The young become easily discouraged, and I assure you, the loads we place upon them prompt discouragement. Look what we tell them: Be good, responsible, bright, athletic, attractive and popular, love us, your parents, love your neighbor, self, the other guy, turn the other cheek, climb before you leap but get up the ladder of success quickly so we can be proud of you. We tell them all of this and much more. We tell them that we are actually a little embarrassed by our failures as parents. And so it is little wonder that our children are confused, law-breaking, and anti-social. When the young have standards that are unattainable, they'll often go into reverse, disrupt those standards rather than even come close to trying to meet them."
"And what advice can parents take today?" Dr. Hansen was asked. "After all, there is so much of it today."
"I believe that parents should learn to become comfortable with their children," Dr. Hansen replied. "They have to stop feeling guilty for their parental failures, either real or fantasized, and they must learn to enjoy the whole personality of their child, not just those parts of their offspring that look good to neighbors, the school, and our society. Truly, youngsters are quite satisfying as companions. We should make it our business to discover this."
Teenagers will, no doubt, continue to baffle and confuse through the ages. Especially will their sexual attitudes and practices always be resented and misunderstood by many. But if we can at least establish a beginning for ourselves as adults, a beginning that continues to seek communication between other adults and the teenaged population, and if we keep the channels of communication open through conversation, books, and other media, we will have made a giant stride forward in solving the complexities of our youth a step forward toward solving many of our own adult problems.