Chapter 4

It all began with Jerry. It was five years ago. How was I unfaithful to Larry before that? The way all women of my class do it. I went away with my son and his governess to the house we had bought at Saint-Jean-de-Luz. I went out a lot. A young man danced with me and then accompanied me home. I allowed him to make love to me, not without some satisfaction, on the rear seat of the car or on the sand after a midnight dip which we took in the nude. It ended the evening in an agreable way, it went well after the dancing and the scotch.

Dancing. I experienced a very pleasuracle sensation at having a young man get sexually excited while pressed up against me.

We went regularly to a small night spot called the "Sleeper" which was located at the heart of a tortuous street near the port. The walls were colored red. The lighting was indirect: pale, coming out from sea shells on tall staffs and fish shapped forms caught in fishing nets tied with ribbons of all colors.

It was a baroque like place, dark and intimate. The shadows were warm and accomplices. The waiters dressed completely in black and moved about between the tables with a silence and savoirfaire worthy of hundred year old carps. The women bent over their ice-buckets with their bare shoulders in the deeply cut dresses and had the appearance of beautiful white slaves.

Youri, the head violonist of the gypsy orchestra, who had the look of someone who is about to burst into tears at any minute followed the pearl necklaces with a look that seemed to say, "Cut carefully along the dotted line."

It was made for 'love, for "pick-ups" without tomorrows, without regrets, without feelings of guilt. Life was uncomplicated: drink, make love, sleep, dance... and again and always.

Jerry danced so well. He was a tall boy, dark and thin and a face with high cheek bones, the features of a bullfighter, his mouth was rather thin and curled a little at the sides, giving it a perpetual look of arrogance and disdain. The son of a good family with the face of a distinguished hoodlum.

His cock was amazing. When he rubbed it up against my stomach it gave off an incredible amount of heat. It was huge and hard. We would no sooner begin dancing than I would feel it get big and unwind. And then I'd rub myself against this living thing which I had brought to life.

Jerry acted as if nothing was happening. After the dance he would go back to the party with which he always came. He had a woman some thirty years old who was tall and thin and a redhead. She had huge green eyes, a straight little nose, and an astonishingly supple and active body. And then there was another man, balding, tall, thin, dry, and whose eyes were a pale, bleached out blue, but where shone from time to time strange flashes of intensity. And then, another couple: a blonde woman, rather heavy but very tall with a thin mouth that seemed to be smiling all the time, but a smile empty of joy. A man with very curly hair, almost kinky, and who had an oriental look about him and who was a little fat, as all orientals are for that matter, was with the blonde.

Often Jerry was accompanied by a young woman. She was a "greyhound" type. Or if you prefer, fashion model. Exceedingly tall and thin with huge blue eyes, heavily made up. Her breasts were small but gave the impression of being quite ample under her dress, very hard and firm. And above all a pair of round buttocks, protruding, well separated by a deep groove in which the cloth of what she was wearing was always encrusting itself.

She seemed to be the wife or fiance of Jerry. However, they never danced together. From time to time she took his hand in hers. Their show of affection never went beyond that. At the most, Jerry, would take back her hand in an interval of two minutes.

As for me I went there with different friends of mine. Young people I had met on the beach... they introduce you to others and after several years of vacations at the place you wind up by knowing everybody.

Whenever I sat down among them I would see Jerry. He always came a little earlier. Immediately his eyes met mine. He never smiled. He made no advances. He seemed to measure me, appreciate me, and always with that perpetual pout on his lips. His two friends looked at me as well but more surreptitiously.

Then he' would come over and with a slight bow invite me to dance. Without ever saying a word. He rubbed up against me, but never with any show of emotion except for the stiffning of his prick against my stomach and cunt. He did not caress me in any other way and his expression which could certainly become violent, savage and filled with passion when he so desired; when with me was always impassible. He didn't have the slightest reaction, he seemed to be like a well regulated mechanism.

Once he said to me "You see, you make me have a hard-on."

With anyone else I would have gotten angry, I would have slapped him, I would have left, I would have refused to ever see him again. But that sort of coldness which he had in his way of speaking, in his every motion, and which gave the appearance of indifference, a kind of profound lassitude, attracted me despite my efforts not to be.

This ritual was repeated several evenings, during the first two weeks of this summer's vacation of nineteen hundred and forty nine; to be exact from the fifteenth to the thirtieth of June.

Then one evening he said to me, "How would you like to come and have a glass of champagne' with some friends?"

"But I'm already with someone."

"Drop those little jerks."

There was neither anger nor emotion in his voice. His invitation had the tone of an order due to the quiet assurance with which it was formulated. I went to get my wrap and cardigan for the evenings were cool and I was wearing a very low cut dress.

Not a word was said till we got to the car. There in front of a heavy american car he turned toward one of his companions, "May I introduce you to Stanley. Stanley this is... well what is your name?"

"Jean."

"Well, Jean."

Stanley was the tall one with the pale blue eyes. He pointed to the rear door that a chauffer was holding open. I got in and I noticed the others going over to a black 'Mercedes.

"Are you wearing a panty?"

I thought I was hearing things. The voice was cold as ice without the slightest emotion. "Pardon?"

"Take off your panty." "But.."

I was suddenly taken by .fright and wanted to escape.

"Take off your pants. I cant stand to be next to a woman who is wearing pants. I want to feel that you are all ready, available at a moment's notice."

He kept himself at a good distance from me and didn't try to touch me and I was convinced that he had no desire to do so.

Suddenly he pulled me by the hair. I screamed and found myself stretched out on my belly on the seat. I tried to struggle and caught a tremendous slap which nearly knocked me out

"I seem to remember telling you to remove your pants."

We were driving along the shore on the edge of the high sea-side cliffs. The road was deserted. In any case I was not thinking of escape. I suddenly didn't feel like it anymore. I swallowed a sob. I picked up my skirt Stanley did not look at me.

I pulled down the silken triangle. I pulled it down the length of my legs and then over my feet Stanley, still without looking at me, reached out his hand and took my pantys and shoved then into his pocket.

Shamefully, I lowered my skirt.

"Leave it up and put your heels on the seat and spread your thighs."

"1N0!"

"Do what I say or I'll leave you naked in the middle of the road and leave you to be picked up by my negro driver."

He punctuated his sentences with a rasping laugh. Perhaps he was hoping that I disobey him.

I placed my heels on the seat and spread my kness to the maximum.

"So there you are, as if you were about to get .fucked in the car."

There was a slight tremor in Stanley's voice.

"That's how you do it with your little friends, isn't it, bitch."

"No." I said defiantly, "I lie down."

"But right now your pussy is winking at the moon. You're thinking of Jerry's big cock, you dirty bitch? Wouldn't you like to have Jerry's big dong in your little pussy right now? Say yes! Repeat... come on..."

My voice became hoarse. I was afraid, very much afraid, I felt anguished, an anxiety from which a strange kind of pleasure was being born, very profound; it was coming from far off, it came from the interior of my belly which was getting hot. I repeated slowly, "I would like to have Jerry's big cock in my pussy."

"You're getting there my pretty. We'll train you easely. You'll see. Open my fly and play around with me a bit"

I didn't even object. I thought: This is a nightmare. But why was I hoping that it wasn't a nightmare, why did I feel good in this strange reality that seemed like an unhealthy dream?

I finally got a-hold of Stanley's dick. It wasn't even stiff. I played with it as I knew how: badly. I drew the foreskin gently back over its head. It had no effect on h. He smiled in the obscurity, a mean smile like the one that was always on the lips of the redhead at the "Sleeper".

We were still driving slowly along. We could see the headlights of the Mercedes ahead of us. We were passing underneath a mountain.

"Keep your thighs well spread apart."

I left them. As a matter of fact I was getting a certain amount of pleasure out of it Dare I say that for the first time this was inciting my imagination? I wasn't imagining Jerry, nor anything real actually. With my hand on Stanley's cock that remained limp, my eyes closed, my mouth dry, I mused about passion, confusedly, but from my belly was rising a kind of voluptuousness which till then I had never experienced.

Stanley suddenly took my hand away from his instrument and placed it between my thighs.

I knew what he wanted and I did it. I carressdd myself slowly. Then a little faster. I had never really liked that. AJ1 of a sudden, sitting next to this frigid man, I liked it. Little shivers ran all through me, short, quick, but which collected into voluptuousness. I began excreting juices slowly and deliciously.

The car turned. We passed through a gate and followed a large path which ended at the door of an old mansion placed in the center of a large park. Lights streamed through all the windows as if a big party were going on. But there was no noise to be heard.

The Mercedes pulled up next to the entrance. We pulled up behind it. We entered into a large entry hall with a black tile floor. The walls were bung with abstract paintings and phalluses, tall plants and strange fruits.

From there we entered a large room where our footsteps were lost in deep black Carpets. Two antic cupboards stand on either side of the great oak doors. The ceiling was low. At the rear of the room there was built a structure of dark wood resembling a chapel and its roof was still lower than the ceiling. Chains were hung from this roof, terminating in steel amulets. Fixed to the floor were heavy mooring Tings like those used to anchor fishing boats.

The surrouding walls were bare. In the center was a heavy wooden oak door, dark as the doors to the room.

"Get her ready." says Stanley.

The women got up.

"Come." the redhead says. (It is was only later that I learned that her name was Natasha and that she was Russian.)

The other one followed us into a kind, of boudoir furnished with 'large carved chests. An oriental bed even with the floor level was covered with a bunch of mismatched blankets.

"Undress, slave." the redhead throws at me.

"Do what you're told and do it quickly." adds the blonde.

I stop trying to understand. I get undressed. The redhead is naked before I am. She wasn't wearing anything under her wide skirt. She has little breasts but pointy and firm with large dark rings around her nipples. Her body gave off a spicy odor that went to one's head. She had magnificent buttocks. It was a nice ass in the french sense of that word. She had a flat belly and wild cunt Yes, her pussy was red, a deep red full of animal reflections.

The blonde was ample. Voluminous breasts she had. They have a tremendous uplift and are amazingly firm. This opulent mass hardly budged and its slight downward slant, casting shadows over her milky flesh added to her charms. Her belly was round and soft, a beautiful woman's stomach, her buttocks were heavy but without any ugly folds where they joined her thighs and hard as wood, they were. The redhead had long thighs, finely shaped like a negress'. The other had short thighs, very round which encased a cunt covered by champagne colored froth.

The two of diem put on almost transparent veils embroidered with gold thread.

Naked, I waited between the two of them. I heard a rattling sound. A heavy linked chain came down over my shoulders and I cried out and bent under their weight. It was very painful. It formed a cold, heavy and hard necklace which hung down "to my belly.

Already the blonde was down at my feet at attaching another heavy chain to my ankles.

I was suddenly struck again by a terrible wave of fear.

"Let me go, you're crazy, let me go... please." "March, slave."

It was only then that I noticed the long and fine welts that ran along the shoulders and backs of the two women. I noticed it because I now saw in their hands whips of long leather thongs.

"Five blows apiece, my pretty." says the redhead hoarsely, "Five lashes 1 Five multiplied by two makes ten!"

I received two lashes simultanously on my buttocks. I felt a burning pain. I jerked forward. An additional shove in the back precipitated me into the room where the men were waiting.

There was a sound of flutes. Three negros, completely naked were sitting crosslegged underneath the chains hanging from the ceiling, blowing into long reeds. They were playing a slow monotonous melody, the kind one plays when charm in,g a snake. Their cocks stood up straight from between their legs.

In an alcove, on a table, there burned in an urn a kind of mixture of paper or incense or a strange perfume, light and which went to one's head causing a light headedness. I later discovered that it was a mixture of marijauna and belladona sprinkled with the essense of various flower petals.

The men were standing before the table with their arms crossed. Their waists were encased in wide leather belts studded with shinning stones, transparent like diamonds.

"Over there, lie down." Stanley yelled at me.

I obeyed. What else was there to do?

I watched them. Their torsos were bare. The oriental, fat and pot-bellied, Was wearing a kind of crown on his head from which rose a bunch of multicolored plumes. Their legs were tightly encased in the kind of tights dancers wear, but these tights permited their dongs to hang out free. The Oriental and Jerry had hard-ons. Not so with Stanley. Whats more, it really was Jerry. He had a magnificent torso, triangular. A fine narrow waist below the spread of his shoulders.

His skin was golden and smooth and without a hair. The Oriental was on the contrary, furry. Stanley was white and skinny, his muscles and bones stuck out everywhere under the 'light coming from a huge chandelier and white fixtures.

A movement of the Oriental's hand -whose name was Ho-sam -stopped the sound of the flutes. The negros remained motionless with their eyes lowered, not daring to look at the women. They had apparently been forbidden to do so. How was it possible to still find servants that kept silent and were devoted?

One of them got up and went to fetch a large tray which he then brought over and placed on the table. On it were placed small earthen pitchers of all colors. The women gave the men to drink directly from the pitchers. They bent slightly backwards and the women poured the liquide into their mouths. It spilled over onto their chests and so they licked the men all over. When they reached their dongs they licked at them and then took them entirely into their mouths, making little slurpping noises of pleasure. But that didn't last long. They pushed them away brutally. They rolled over on the floor and remained there, looking up at their strange lords.

"You, lie down like a dog, your kisser against the ground." Jerry yelled suddenly as I was looking at him. I immediately turned over, hunched myself.

They came towards me. I heard them coming without looking to see if they were. A kick made me pick up my stomach and get on all fours.

Ho-Sam put his hands on my buttocks. With his thumbs he spread them apart.

"Her ass-hole isn't bad." he said softly, "It looks virgin on this side". He shoved his finger in.

I gave a little yelp and it made him laugh, a little giggle.

"Do you think she has some spirit?" asked Jerry.

"I don't know." answered Stanley, "Anyway, she doesn't know how to jerk-off."

He bent down and put his fingers into my vagina. Very gently. He moved them about and then took my clitoris between two fingers and caressed it a long time.

His fingers were long and skilled. My fear disappeared. It was replaced by another kind of fear which I had never experienced and which had remained stored in my entrails. What was going to happen? The chains were biting into my skin.

"Takes her a long time to come." says one of them, "Isn't in the habit of a good fuck. I like alright."

Their voices were low and natural. One could have thought that they were discussing politics or the weather. It was perhaps this very fact which kept me from screaming. The chains were really hurting me terribly.

Suddenly, Ho-Sam began talking a strange language, raising his voice.

A second or two passed and then I felt myself being picked up by the negros. It was then that I screamed.

"Let me go, I don't like negros, I don't want any negros!" They made fun of me.

A strap placed around my waist fixed me against the post. My feet were placed, ankle chains and all into broguens fixed to the floor (an old instrument of torture). My arms were raised high and m the form of a cross and attached by my wrists to the iron rings hanging from the ceiling. I was Crucified, stretched from mooring to mooring without any possibility of defending myself.

The light was lowered. The women, still lying on the carpet dressed m their veils, were looking at me savagely. One would have thought of two cats.

"Aba, begin!"

I was now turned with, my back to the men. A simple turn of a lever sufficed to change my position on the rack.

The first lash oft the whip got me on the small of the back. I let out a yell. Another on the back... another, on the shoulders, then the buttocks... My screams of pain kept time with the whistle of the thongs and their flat sound against my skin.

The hoarse voice of a woman, the redhead's surely.

"Whip her on the ass. On the ass. Hard Aba! Look at her wriggle, ah, ah, ah."

"Ya, she sure can wriggle." answered the dry voice of the blonde.

Only one of the negros was whipping me. The other two had taken up their flutes again and were continuing to play their monotonous, high, and lancinating melody.

The whipping stopped. The rack creaked. The chains gleamed in the reddish obscurity. The two women had come near and their eyes really glistened now.

The three men were facing me. From between their legs their cocks stood up straight and stiff. I wished that they's throw me on a table and fuck me hard. I wanted it so much I thought I was going to the.

Then, "Lower the chain!"

Ho-Sam repeated the order in a guttural language and the negro obeyed.

With my arms released, my whole body sagged; in a moment I was on my knees.

"Slave." Jerry says, "You must suck us off. You first lord Ho-Sam."

"A bunch of nuts!" I think, "They're crazy." But my whole body is attracted towards them.

I took Jerry's cock into my mouth.

At rest it was soft and small. Hard it had taken on incredible proportions. It was the most beautiful, the biggest root I had ever laid eyes on.

The scrotum enveloped two perfect nuts, hidden in a curly bush which mounted in all its blackness up to the navel in a kind of dark path which ended on the thorax.

His pole, long and cylindrical, superbly arrogant, jerked up with its skin giving the impression of being wrinkled, this sheaf from which emerged a gland in 'full bloom, filled with blood, ready to burst.

I put my lips gently around this superb cock under the watchful eyes of the others. All of a sudden despite my 'burning back, my face which was being chapped by my drying tears, my being completely shaken, drunk, I wanted to perform a good piece of work before them.

I ran my tongue up the length of the fragile and thin string of skin underneath the head and down again slowly before taking the whole of the head into my mouth. I pulled away in order to look at the little hole which terminated at the end of the head and watched it open and contract and quiver.

I then titilated it with the tip of my tongue. My hands kneaded his big balls Which were swelling, living in my palms, like a big, hot and furry animal.

With one sudden motion I took the whole of it into my mouth.

"Oh, the dirty bitch, the good bitch!" chuckled Stanley.

With a sudden and violent motion of his hips he jammed his dick all the way down my throat I almost bit it. I was choking.

"Come," rasped the redhead, "come into her pretty little face!"

"Come! Come!" the blonde echoed. She chanted: "Come good Stanley honey, fill her pretty mouth of a prig, filled its with your come juice put it all into her mouth,"

She crawled oyer to him and jammed her tongue between his ass cheeks. He bellowed and I couldn't get his enormous cock out of my throat. I breathed with it, kneaded it with my cheeks, I was literaly digesting it

And suddenly a hot, salty, thick, sticky liquide poured into me. I coughed. "Don't spit"

Stanley had pulled away and the mouth of the redhead was on mine. That which I couldn't keep-, as I was choking, she took off my lips and swallowed with little gurgling sounds. During this time she was working over my humid cunt.

She too pulled away and I grabbed the Oriental's black cock; burning hot It was huge when at rest but when erect was hardly larger than any other. His hard-on wasn't hard. But it must be the kind that lasts a long time.

While I sucked him off, as I had done for Stanley, he called me dirty names in his barbaric and guttural tongue.

His come juice spurt into my mouth and over my face, for I had pulled away just at the moment that he came. This time it was the blonde that came to lick my face.

I barely had the time to start on Jerry again when he came. It was one long, hot jet I was all sticky. Clogged as I was. I couldn't wipe myself off. The come juice was slowly drying on my face.

The flutes continued playing.

The women crawled away slowly. Aba, the black that had whipped me, was dancing. He undulated his tall black body. At first his movements were slow and then he got down supporting himself on his long, thin and outstreched arms and arched his body. A kind of ripple ran along his stomach. He imitated to perfection the motions of love with that natural african asciviousness. The flutes were mounting higher and higher.

Jerry actioned the rack and caused the chains to rise once again and again I was spread out.

Abat got up and continued dancing standing up. The men had stretched1 themselves out on the floor. The women were kneeling as if in prayer.

Without stopping his undulation, his shoulders motionless, but his hips doing an energetic bump and grinde, he stepped behind me and took me by the waist

The redhead shuddering in rhythm with his movements came over to join him. I felt her soft fingers spread my ass cheeks. The negro's cock slid forward very slowly, forcing open my flesh. It was a large cock but soft like Hon Sam's.

With a sudden thrust it plunged all the way in and 1 screamed. It was as if I had been ripped apart However, the slow movements, the interminable dance, the chains, all facilitated his task.

Suddenly his sperm spurt into the groove of my ass and then ran down to my cunt. Aba was already gone and siting down next to his two companions. The sensation of pleasure that I had experienced had been very slight, probably because of the initial pain.

Another negro who had abandoned his flute was already stationed behind me. I tried to struggle but my desparate wriggles excited him all the more. They also excited those two dirty women. One after the other hoarsely cried, "Corn-hole her good. Do it to her royal I"

"Take her ass-hole, ream her out, fill her asshole with come juice""

The second negro bit me in the back. His fingers tore at my tits, my belly.

I smelled his thick breath on my neck. He penetrated me With one hard thrust. It felt like a red hot blade piercing right through me.

This time I nearly swooned. I screamed. But my scream wasn't one of pain, not exactly. It was a mixture of the two.

I heard the voice of one of the women, "She's coming, she's coming..."

And I realised that she too was having an orgasm. It was the redhead. She had left me and the two of them were in each others arms; masturbating each other.

Jerry came forward. He was holding his dong in his two hands like a baseball bat, straight and pointing at me. He advanced, aiming at me.

I wanted it, I desired it, I hoped for it, him, at the moment when passion and pain were battling it out inside me.

He caressed my vagina quietly with his ramrod, running it up and down on my lips, whirling it around the edges of my hole. And then he plunged it in with a single thrust without touching me.

I felt his cock job the nigger's. The two of then began ha me ring away at me in time, knocking up against the thin membrain separating the vagina from the anal passage.

His legs were spread apart and his dick was massaging me very slowly.

It was then that Ho-Sam came up behind him. I saw him point his tool and with one well aimed plunge buried it in Jerry's ass-hole who let out with bellows of joy. The negro's and Jerry's sperm shot out at the same time, spilling into my ass and cunt in one tidal wave. The pleasure was so intense that I fainted'.

All at once an orgasm, my first orgasm, undid me completely. All my life and being had descended down into my cunt and had boiled over.

When I opened my eyes, Jerry and Ho-Sam were intertwined on the floor. The third negro was riding away on the redhead.

Stanley came toward me. He lowered the chains and rack, loosened my feet and wrists and then gave me a light kick in the ribs.

"Lie down* sleep." he,said.

I fell asleep under-the lacerations of the chains but with my body completely fulfilled.

I was about to reach my twenty-fith birthday when it all happened. I had just experienced a sensation of pleasure which I had desparately searched for and in which I had almost stopped believing.

My body had been thrown into complete confusion. I had felt the rush of my own come juice down through my entrails and flooding my cunt.

I had come to understand the gentleness and toughness of a prick. I had needed the pain, the humiliation in order to attain fulfillment.

Thirty years. I'm thirty today. Since yesterday rather, because it's already past midnight.

My husband ends his petting. I make believe that I'm enjoying it, I moan a little. I try to imagine other caresses, other cocks then his which I take in my hand without knowing what to do with it. I try to imagine that I'm being chained, whipped; being humiliated That's a middleclass education for you; for if I caress it too well, he'll despise me. And because I hadn't caressed him well he was unfaithful.

He gets on top of me and jambes his knees between my spread thighs. He is very touching, he murmurs, "Happy birthday, darling." and he puts his rediculous dick into my vagina.

The other day he said' to me, "It's funny hut you seem to be bigger." I answered, " What do you expect, one grows older, I'm getting flabby." He thought that he had annoyed me. He wont mention it again.

I hump my hips in time with his. Minutes pass. He pants in my face. I don't hold it against him. I afford him pleasure. I don't know why, but that's the way it is. I wish that the pleasure would come from him, but that's impossible now.

Finally, "he spits out his venom" as the doctors say. He pulled out as a matter of fact. He comes all over my stomach and I have to get up in order to get rid of all that gook with a washcloth.

I had murmured several times, "It's good... more... a little bit more..."

Just what's permitted by decency. He is over joyed, the poor darling; persuaded that he's made me come a little.

"My wife," he says with some pride, " is frigid."

He puts on that little smile which means, "Me, I've got my little system."

I let him believe it. It's polite and honest. And moreover he's convinced that no one else has ever fucked me.

Poor love.

I have often returned to the mansion. I have taken my pleasure with the negros, with the two women, but rarely with the men.

Once, they brought in a girl that they had picked up in a club. She nearly went crazy. It was me that whipped her. I had dressed myself up as an animal trainer, with high leather boots, long sleeved gloves and I wore a mask.

We had to drop her off in the middle of a deserted road after having blindfolded her. She was never able to tell the police, with whom she had registered a complaint, the little bitch, where it had happened. But after that, just for safty's sake we never showed yourselves at Saint-Jean in a group.

We never stopped coming that night. The negros went wild, whipping and com-holing her with an unbelievable ardor.

After that we dragged her around on a leash. We worked her over till the blood ran and then we finished her off with all kinds of rubber instruments.

The vacations had ended. But once in Paris I found, not Jerry who I had found so handsome, but Stanley.

Yes, Stanley. And I love him. Anyway I'm attached to him by a chain which is superior to sentiments.

I made my husband accept my going to Paris for eight days each month. He had agreed for he is not jealous.

It is there that I see my lover with his pale stare, and cold lips...