Epilogue

I went to live with Stanley regularly. I spent anywhere from four to six days a month in his suburban mansion.

I liked it in my luxury dog-house. I had discovered voluptuousness, I had really become a bitch who thought of nothing but her sex. And thus I have remained. I'm happy that that's the way it is. I live in a kind perpetual loathing of myself, but it is in this very loathing that I find in the depths of myself the true nature of voluptousness. It is something terribly powerful, exta tic, which ends up being a mystic: the religion of pleasure, it exists. But to whom can on explain it. To Larry? I don't feel the necessity.

I love Stanley. I love Stanley who has never kissed me, nor fucked me. -For whom I am nothing but a bitch, a real slave, obedient.

There always were friends of his at the house. He would say to them, "Have yourself sucked off..." or, "Fuck her, bung hole her, whip her..."

He never even looked at me. He would say it as if he had said, "Push that stone, over there, the one that is in the path."

That's what I love.

There were many novices. How many have I whipped, how many have I offered to the donkey who was certainly never to be as happy again as he was at our house.

We developed a system whereby we attached the animal with a sling under his stomach and fastned to the ceiling. Thus he was raised slightly above the woman to be given to him. There was no more danger of his biting or hurting her with his hooves. Instead of having to hold hit

, now he just had to be raised a little more order to control his humping, it was more amusg that way. It was like a circus. Later, Stanley sold the donkey and bought a buck instead.

I remember a girl who had been a virgin. It was me who iniated her with my perfected dildo. Then it was the buck that served her her pleasure. He humped the hell out of her. We kept the girl four days. After that she had no trouble coming.

Another girl came with her mother. The buck buggered the mother and the donkey fucked the girl. The two of them were pretty. While I was buggering the second with my dildo the first tucked me off like a queen.

At regular intervals there were black Masses. We sacrificed animals. Once I served the priests. I was crazy while the priest was consacrating over me. I was drunk with passion at feeling all the others getting excited.

I'm thirty yean old I'm a thirty year old woman. My husband is sleeping at my side now, happy. I get up silently. My bags are read There is a car waiting for me outside.

At the wheel -it's Jean.

I convinced her. The two of us are going to live with Stanley. It's belter this way and whatsmore I'll be keeping my old school friend at my side, the one who initiated me to the realm of pleasure.

I've told her everything. Eight days ago she came with me to Stanley's house.

She whipped me and I her. She was chained and raped by men and animals. She went wild

I can still see her face, glowing with extacy. She was panting.

"Oh, I was made for that."

Next to my dog-house there is another for her. But Stanley has promised us a bigger one for the two of us.

How far will I go? I don't think about it any more. There's just sometimes a little voice that says to me: "the farther the better... farther...