Chapter 8
It pained Kurt Wiley every time he saw Laura Standard. He did not speak to her. Nor did she to him. But his mind always boiled with a hundred thoughts, all of them pointing to the rejection she had committed against him. He did not know the reasons. It was enough that she had turned on him enough that he had taken her cruelly and without love.
But it was more than physical rejection that pained Kurt. Something else had been taken from his life by Laura, too, something, that if allowed to grow, would have changed him, made him quite the kind of son his father wanted him to be. The kind that Kurt wanted to be, too. But that, too, had been lost for him. The idealism, the dreams, the seriousness of purpose, all of which he had focused on Laura Standard, was destroyed when she had turned her naked back upon him.
Kurt set out to recapture his ways of old. In a matter of weeks, he had become a familiar figure on the campus. He was popular, too. He had a reputation with the girls and he sought to enhance it at every opportunity. There were many opportunities. There were many girls. Kurt had as many as he could accomplish. But strangely, with none of them did he earn the satisfaction he sensed he might have known with Laura with none of them did he feel any of the signs of love that kind of love that makes others of no importance. Kurt had turned a redder devil than he had been upon arriving at Funston College. Now, he was like the others dedicated to pleasure, involved in everything of a sexual and pleasure-able nature that it was possible to become involved in, his only purpose, putting in time at Funston the same as if he were serving it in a jail. An incredibly liberal jail.
It was during a class of Thelma Andrews that Kurt decided upon a new seduction that of his thirty-six year old teacher. It seemed to him that this would be a very good thing to accomplish that it would kind of mark his position as the biggest of the big men on campus. As Thelma conducted the class, Kurt found himself growing more and more enthusiastic for the plan. Thelma Andrews was a beautiful woman. And she was sexual. And, he was quite sure, she was also available.
"Today we're going to discuss the elements of free-association as it is related in every day life," Thelma said in her opening remarks to the class of which Kurt Wiley was a member.
The class was being conducted outside, very informally under a shelter of oak trees.
Kurt turned to the right and winked at Penny Smith. She winked back. The way she did it made Kurt remember the time they had spent in a parked car the previous evening. She was good therapy, he thought. Good therapy for the hurt that Laura caused.
"Now, who cares to tell us what free association means to them?" Thelma asked the class.
No one answered for a few moments. Then Penny Smith said, "Well, I'll try."
Kurt did not look at Penny as she sat a little straighter from her cross-legged position. He looked at Thelma Andrews and the outline of her body as it was revealed this day in tight, tight shorts and a loosely hanging bra; unconventional attire for a teacher, but not unusual for Thelma.
"All right, Penny," said Thelma. "Tell us about free-association."
"Well, it's the relationship of some things to other things," Penny explained, screwing her pretty face into a frown as if she were not sure of herself. "Sometimes words can relate to things or people, or a reference to a person to another person or to an incident in someone's life things like that. It's used in psychology quite a lot."
"Pretty good, Penny," complimented Thelma. "You should also have said that it sometimes nudges at our unconscious makes us remember things of the past, things that we have forgotten or things that have gotten buried deep inside us because we wanted to forget them."
"What kind of things would people want to forget?" Penny asked. "Gee think how great it would be if we all had total recall for everything that ever happened to us."
"It might not be as good as you think," cautioned Thelma.
"Why?"
"Because some of the things we remembered might now be painful to us."
"Painful?"
"Certainly," Thelma said.
"I don't quite understand that," Penny said, frowning again.
"Well, suppose when you were only eleven you had been raped," Thelma said.
"Gee I'd remember it," Penny exclaimed.
Everyone in the class roared with laughter. So did Thelma Andrews. But when it quieted, she said, "Well, under some circumstances, an experience like this could be very painful, especially if the child of such an event was made the subject of ridicule or scorn or shame, so, it's not hard to see why this child, the victim of a rape at an early age, would possibly hide this deeply in her subconscious, not to be recalled, undoubtedly, until free-association caused it to be recalled. This is the technique used in the psychoanalysis discipline of psychiatry."
"Does free-association relate to every day life, too?" a boy student wanted to know.
"Yes. Sometimes an event will occur that will make us remember other events in our lives. Sometimes it's just a word, or even a sound," Thelma Andrews said.
The boy nodded, then slumped his position, indicating that he had heard what he wanted.
There were more questions from other students. Kurt Wiley only half-listened to them, for once again he was thinking of Laura. He wondered if there was something of her past that needed recalling, if there was some experience that she had had that made her now turn from him perhaps turn from all men. He wondered about it, then found himself wishing that she might be in this very class with him, that if she was she might be directed toward her problems. But what if it wasn't a problem that made her reject him, he asked himself. Suppose it was just himself that she couldn't stand him, or at least did not care enough about him. What about that, he self-questioned. But, he couldn't believe it. There was too much that was positive in the way Laura had responded to him at other times. Still. . .
"Now, we're going to try a few experiments in free-asociation," Thelma Andrews announced.
Kurt looked at her long, bare legs, very tanned by the sun, looking very agile and capable, looking very much as if they had been created to cradle and guide a man to the pathways of thrill. He wondered how any of the male students could possibly keep their mind on any experiment a woman such as Thelma Andrews conducted. He wondered how anybody could keep their mind on anything but the teacher herself.
"Now, I need a volunteer," Thelma said to the class. Silence.
"Anyone boy or girl," Thelma coaxed.
Still no response.
"Oh, come now," she urged. "You certainly aren't all cowards."
"Oh, yes I am," one of the girls giggled in reply.
Laughter filled the area.
"Really, it won't hurt," Thelma said, still laughing herself.
"It might," a boy at the back called out.
"Well, I'll just have to make a selection," Thelma said, letting her eyes roam over the group.
Kurt wanted to look away when she stared directly at him. But it would do no good. He knew it.
"Mr. Wiley, suppose you honor us as the victim of this little experiment," Thelma said.
All eyes turned toward Kurt. He continued to stare at the teacher. For some reason, he sensed that Thelma Andrews would have found a way to use him for the experiment whether another had volunteered or not. He didn't know why, but he sensed undertones of sex to his thought.
"Mr. Wiley please," Thelma called. Kurt stood up.
A scattering of applause cynical applause, Kurt thought followed him as he walked to where Thelma Andrews sat on the lawn at the front of her class.
"Hi, glad to have you aboard," Thelma said, smiling brightly when Kurt stopped in front of her.
This was cause for new laughter and more applause from the class.
"What do I do?" Kurt asked, looking deliberately at the low front of Thelma Andrews' bra-top.
"You can start by sitting down and facing me," she said.
Kurt lowered to a cross-legged position in front of her. As he settled, his knee struck her thigh. He felt heat come from her to him. And her eyes, suddenly darker, conveyed heat, too.
"Now, the way we will proceed, class, is for me to mention a word or situation, perhaps a phrase, to Kurt, here, and he is to respond with the very first thing that comes into his mind."
"What if I don't think of anything?" he asked.
"You will. It is impossible not to think."
"I don't know about that," he said.
"Please take my word for it," she told him.
"Let's get started," a girl, rather anxiously, called from the back of the class.
"We will. Right now," Thelma said. Her eyes burned into Kurt.
"I'm ready," he said.
Thelma's eyes smiled before her lips did. And she glanced over all of his attractive male body, looking at every muscle and fiber of him, it seemed.
"I think it would be better if you faced away from me, Kurt," Thelma suggested.
Kurt turned around and faced the class. Immediately in front of him, three girls lounged lazily, displaying a great deal of body as a result of skimpy attire. Kurt looked at each of them.
Thelma, quickly seeing the problem, laughed, then said, "It'll be best if you turn and face away from all of us. Turn to the east look straight ahead, and close your eyes if you want if it will help you respond to my questions."
"Okay," Kurt responded. He twisted around and faced in the direction of woods across the campus.
"Ready?" Thelma asked.
"Ready," Kurt replied.
Silence fell upon the group.
"All right," said Thelma. "I'm going to begin with a series of single words and you respond to each as quickly as possible with the very first thing that comes into your mind. All right?"
"All right."
There was a new pause. Then Kurt heard the shuffle of papers and he knew that Thelma Andrews was referring to her notes. Then the shuffling noise ceased.
"Black," said Thelma.
"White," responded Kurt.
"Girl."
"Boy," he answered.
"School."
"School-girl."
There was a delay as new laughter rose, then quieted.
"At the beginning of the words," Thelma said, addressing herself to the class, "we see that Kurt responded with opposites. This is common. Sometimes similarities are common, too. Now, we'll continue."
Kurt was sure that the rest of the questions would not be this easy. He steeled himself to be alert to Thelma's questions so that he could answer as fast and as honestly as possible.
"Butcher," Thelma said.
"Meat," replied Kurt.
"Beach."
"Fun."
"Water."
"Swim."
"Girl," Thelma shot at him again.
"Fun," Kurt replied without a pause.
Laughter erupted.
"Sex," said Thelma.
"Girls," answered Kurt.
"Singular," she said.
"Plural," he responded.
"Health."
"Wealth."
"Happiness."
"Love," he answered.
"Sexual love," queried Thelma.
"Girls," Kurt said once again.
"Dreams," Thelma asked.
"Girls," he answered.
"Wet," said Thelma.
"Water," countered Kurt.
"All right, let's take a little pause right here," Thelma said, sounding a little breathless.
"What do all these answers mean for Kurt?" a girl from the class asked.
"Well, for one thing," answered Thelma, "Thus far Mr. Wiley has displayed a considerable preoccupation with girls and sex. Every association he has seems to center around the two. And, of course, this is understandable. The two are intertwined. Girls and sex. For a boy, this is quite normal, I'd say. Now, let's continue with a new series and we'll try to narrow the associations down to a more personal level."
There was new silence, a new pause, then Thelma asking, "Ready, Kurt?"
"For anything," he replied.
"Fine. Here we go." She waited several long seconds, then said, "Father."
"Rough," he answered.
"Good."
"Bad," he replied. "Hot."
"Cold."
"Girls."
"Hot," he answered without changing the tone of his voice.
"Particular girl," said Thelma. "Love," answered Kurt. "Girl to love," said Thelma. "One," he answered. "Pretty," she queried. "Very," he answered.
"Dark."
"Yes."
"Who?"
"Laura Standard," Kurt answered, saying it as he had every other reply he had made to her questions.
Kurt waited, but Thelma Andrews did not continue the series of questions. Instead, there was a stirring from her that caused Kurt to turn and look at her. Thelma looked suddenly flustered. She was making a great to do about putting her notes together in a notebook. Then she looked up and saw Kurt looking at her. Her eyes still smoldered, but now there was anger in them too.
"All right, class," she said, turning from Kurt to the others. "I think we can all see how the principles of free-association work through this rather simple and rather inconclusive example we've demonstrated. So, we'll continue on this subject at our next session. Now, you're all dismissed."
There was the sound of bodies moving to dismiss themselves from the class.
Kurt remained where he was seated. When the others had left, he turned, then stood up. He walked over to where Thelma Andrews, looking more like a coed than a teacher, was still putting papers and books together in a large bag.
Kurt looked down at her, then said, "You know, I have the feeling that I've disappointed you some way."
She looked up rather abruptly. "Oh, really."
"Yes."
"Well, you haven't, Kurt," she said. 'You were a very good subject for free-association, although I must say that I was surprised that you personalized your answers to such an extent."
"You mean by naming Laura Standard?"
"Yes."
"I did that as a joke," he said, grinning. "You did."
"Sure," he lied.
"Then you contrived your answers, is that it?"
. '"Fraid so, teacher," he joked.
She smiled. She looked relieved for some reason. Then she made a quick sweep over his body with her eyes. They registered pleasure. Great pleasure, it seemed.
"Forgive me, eh, teacher?" Kurt asked.
"Of course." She hesitated, then said, "Are you through classes for the day?"
"More or less."
"Well, which is it more or less?"
"I'm through."
"Good," she said.
"Why is it good?" he asked.
"Because I want to talk to you a bit," Thelma said.
"Oh, I'd like that," he said.
She looked at him with a strange expression, one that questioned his cockiness. But she made no reference to it.
"Where shall we talk?" Kurt asked.
She smiled and glanced over his frame, then said, "At my house. All right?"
"Fine."
"I don't live on the campus," Thelma said. "We'll have to drive."
"Your car or mine?" he asked.
"Mine. It's in the lot."
Kurt nodded. Then, like a schoolboy, he reached out and took Thelma's collection of notes and papers and books. He tucked them under his arm. Together, they walked toward the parking lot.
Once settled in the car, Kurt could not deny himself a candid look at Thelma's bare legs as they worked her feet on accelerator and brake.
They were delightful legs. And he found the bare space between her bra and shorts very fascinating. The skin was very brown, testimony to hours in the sun. And the bulge of her breasts themselves delighted him no end. They seemed heavy and bloated. The nipples even formed an outline of themselves against the light material. Kurt looked at all of it and sighed. It sounded contrived, and he thought about it and decided that lately almost everything he did was contrived, that all activities and conversation seemed pointed to take his mind off of Laura Standard. Then, oddly, just as Kurt thought of her, Thelma mentioned her name.
"Tell me, were you really kidding when you associated 'love' and Laura Standard during class?" she asked.
"Sure I was," he said, feeling a certain pride in his ability to he so well.
"You have dated her though, haven't you?" Thelma asked.
"Not actually. We've been together a few times, that's all."
She shot him an accusing look. "Together."
"Socially."
"Not privately?"
"No."
"But her glasses that she left in your cottage," Thelma stated. "They certainly weren't left there because of a social hour."
"Yes they were," he answered, remembering, feeling unhappy for the memory.
"Don't think I'm prying," Thelma said.
"I think you are," he told her. Then he added, "And it's all right with me. There isn't much of my life I don't mind broadcasting."
"You're an odd one," she said.
"Yes. Very odd."
Thelma swung her car down a dirt road, then turned onto one that was still bumpier.
When they came to an old farm house, she swung the car around the rear and braked it.
"This is home for me," she said.
"Man you really like the country, don't you?"
"It has its advantages," she said.
"Like chickens, I suppose."
"No. Like quiet. And solitude. And like freedom from neighbors."
"Yeah some advantages," he said.
They departed the car. Thelma led him to the front of the house. She turned a key into the lock, then pushed open the door. She stepped to one side and waited for him to enter. Then she followed him.
Kurt turned around and looked at all of the foyer. It was golden looking because of the sun that trailed into the room through large windows on either side of the door.
"We'll go into the living room," Thelma said.
Kurt nodded.
She cocked her head to one side, then moved ahead of him to the entrance of the next room. She smiled as he approached. Her expression conveyed that she knew a secret. And when Kurt arrived at the entrance to the living room, then entered it, he knew the secret that Thelma Andrews had prepared for him.
Arthur Fleming, President of Funston College, stood smiling at him. On one side of him Penny Smith also smiled, on the other side, Rodney Madden grinned as though they were all comrades together.
Kurt stopped dead in his tracks.
President Fleming laughed, then said, "Well, come on in, boy, we've been waiting for you."
Kurt turned and looked at Thelma Andrews. She smiled evilly, walked up to him, hooked her arm through his and hugged close.
"Forgive my little deceit, Kurt," she said.
"But it was very important that we get together. All of us. Very important."
Kurt moved a step forward, halted, then walked into the room, wondering what had been planned in this mysterious way, feeling that it could not be good that it would be something that sunk him deeper into the muck of Funston College.