Chapter 4
She awoke the next morning remarkably refreshed. Her body was less tense and her state of mind was ready for a new idea. She bathed and primped her self and prepared to meet the day with renewed vigor.
She made David his breakfast. He was very sleepy from the night before.
"Listen, you'd better get any notions of slacking off out of your head. Just because your father's gone doesn't mean you're on vacation from school."
"I had a date last night and I got in a little late."
"Well, from now on there will be no dating of Sunday nights, is that clear."
Jean had to get used to being strict with her son now that Robert wasn't around to correctly discipline him.
"Aw, mom."
"Aw, nothing. Monday is a school day and I want you in early the night before."
He ate his breakfast in silence. Lately his mother was impatient with him. Not like when Dad was around. He guessed she felt that with him gone she would have to play both roles.
"Have you seen Dad lately."
"No, and I don't plan to. The lawyer is handling everything."
"Is he going to come back."
His candor shook her a bit. She honestly didn't know but preferred to keep the front that his father no longer meant anything to her.
"I doubt it. Anyway, evem if he did it would be impossible for us to get back again. I'm sorry, David, but that's the truth."
He finished his breakfast and left saying that he would be back with Ronnie and they would be using the pool this afternoon. The demons that haunted her the night before slowly faded from her mind and she busied herself with the day's chores and then went for a short walk.
She occupied her time by window shopping and noticed how sexy the style of the dresses had become these days. She saw a nice, white outfit that she really liked but the neck was too low.
The thought of wearing it embarrassed her but then she remembered what her friend Laura had suggested about being business-like with one's emotions. If she was to get back into the dating scene she would have to play the game according to the new rules.
She arrived back at the house to prepare dinner for David and found both him and Ronnie already. Home they were out by the pool and David had a football and was throwing him passes. Ronnie would dive from the board and catch the ball while in midair and then safely fall into the blue-chlorinated water.
She watched them frolic and giggle from the kitchen window as she sliced the onions into small pieces. Then Ronnie got out of the pool and she got a good look at his glistening frame.
The boy was dressed in his own trunks and Jean eyes drifted to the seemly bulge that protruded from his crotch. Even with the correct size suit it left a rounded edge she couldn't help but notice.
Her thoughts drifted back to her sexual exercise the night before but when his picture flashed in her brain totally nude she quickly dismissed it.
It was impossible for Jean to bear such thoughts without her conscience driving her mad with guilt. Was she so horny that she would actually entertain the idea of having sex with this boy?
Again she caught a glimpse of him from the corner of the curtain and could see his dark eyes shine as he was grinning. He had very long eye lashes which made his face look sexy. His dark complexion was enhanced by the tan that covered his body.
He was a-Latin-looking youngster that appeared to have all the fire and brimstone within him that her dream had warned her. As she gazed at his powerful frame she almost imagined him kissing her....
She cut off her thought and wiped her eyes from the sting of the onions. Some people are prisoners of their values, she ruefully thought, and plan their actions on right and wrong. She was one of those.
She heard the boys talking.
"It'd be a good idea to invite Cathy and Dee up to the pool," said her son.
"What do you think your mother would say."
"She probably wouldn't like it. Unless she was here or something."
"You know, your mom's not a bad looking woman. She should get herself out more."
"She's not the kind. She still misses Dad, I think, but she won't admit it."
It embarrassed her to think that it showed so much. If the boys could notice it what were her friends and neighbors saying. She rubbed her hands dry with the towel as if to clean herself of an unnamed sin.
Everyone must think her and old, frustrated bitch who couldn't satisfy her husband and was now left alone to bemoan her fate. How eveyone must of thought fired up her will to fight back. How dare they count her out of the game of life.
She went from the kitchen and pulled from the bottom layer of the clothes in the dresser drawer an old box. It held a garment that had once been a gift from Robert It was something he had gotten for her as a joke when they were celebrating their second honeymoon up at Niagra Falls. They went without David and he bought for her a skimpy bathing suit.
She had only the nerve to wear it when he was present. The went picnicing one afternoon of their venture and she had wore it. He got up for a minute to get something from the car and she was left alone.
As they sparsely peopled beach began to ogle her exposed form she became self-consciousness and very fearful. What must they think of her? She played with her hair to give them a good view of her ring finger that held her wedding ring.
Robert finally came back and found her in an agitated state. Her face was pale and she broke out into cold sweat. He calmed her as he sensed her problem. Sometimes he was very affectionate and understanding.
She began to undress in the mirror now. An idea was taking shape in her brain and she was determined to see it through. She was young and could still enjoy herself. Why not go down to the pool for a dip.
She stood in front of the mirror naked. Her breasts rose with each breath and the sight of her nakedness had a heated effect upon her. She watched irv amazement as a nipple rose to attention of its own accord. For a moment she had doubts.
Then she thought of her husband with his blod hussy and her disposition changed. What the hell, he was older than her and he was enjoying himself. What's fair is fair.
She put on the bathing suit and looked at herself. Her first reaction was shame. The snug outfit tightly bound her heaving breasts and the crotch left tiny hairs showing through its outline.
She thought that she couldn't go through with it and walked over to the window. She viewed the dark boy as her raised his muscular arm to throw the ball like a bullet at her son. He was so strong and for a brief flash the image shot through her of his hands pulling her close.
She was on the verge of tears but forced herself to hold them back. She told herself she was a grown woman and to act her age. With grand defiance in her eye that demonstrated her womanly pride, she picked herself up and went out to the pool.
The boys were tossing the ball. David had it and was throwing it to Ronnie But the ball bounced off his chest and fell to the floor and rolled into the pool. His eyes were riveted on the stately body of Mrs. Meyers.
"Mom, where did you come from." David meant to say where did the bathing suit come from. She put him off.
"Don't mind me. I just came out to get a little air and read a bit."
Then she held up her hand and showed the thick paperback.
"What's the name of it," Ronnie eagerly volunteered.
"It's a gothic romance by that Rozzanna Roget called, "The Last Sentiment."
"OH yes, I heard of that one. It's a best seller."
The boy was obviously mesmerized by her charm. His eyes were glued to her stout frame and she felt proud that she could stir his emotions. He was so handsome and his blue eyes went magnificiently with his black hair.
"Hey, Ronnie, quit the small talk and get the ball."
The boy obeyed by diving into the pool in one graceful swan-like stroke of his muscualr body. Jean sat down and stretched herself out on the beach chair and pretended to read.
"Ron, how about a quick soda down at the shop. Maybe.."
"Nah, let's swim a bit."
David was trying to get them both out of here. He was uncomfortable with the situation. She heard herself say:
"If I'm bothering you two boys I'll leave. But I donX get too much chance these days for some relaxation and just thought I get some sun."
"Oh, it's okay Mrs. Meyers. I don't mind," Ronnie was quick to add.
That was sweet of him, she thought. "Let's get a drink," said her son.
"No, I'm fine."
"How about a 'you know what'," and David raised his hand in a gesture like he was holding a cigarette and puffing away.
Ronnie looked to her and then back to him. He looked a little embarrassed. He whispered something to David about his mother being around and then dove his head under the pool.
Her son looked at her and his mouth was tightly clenched in frustration. Each one of his suggestions had fell on deaf ears. When Ronnie went underwater he turned to her.
"Mom, what are you doing?" And he looked at her bathing suit.
Before she could answer the boy resurfaced and David changed the subject to sports or school or something like that. She would've told him that she was just here to relax, but it was obvious that her actions had unerved him. She fought off her shame. She would not be daunted. She was young and would enjoy herself. Her son would just have to understand.
Even now Jean struggled to keep her real thoughts from consciousness. She was attracted to the muscular boy but refused to consider the inevitable consequences of such action.
The only way she could carry out the ruse was to imagine that she had no other ulterior motive in mind but to just relax. Her true motive she would not permit to flash in her mind.
Out of the corner of her eye from the book she made believe she was reading, she caught Ronnie eying her from a distance. The bulge in his crotch seemed a bit larger than before.
She hid her eyes with the book and looked down at her self. Her breasts threatened to dislodge from their precarious nest and her pubic hair cutely flowed from the short bottom. She nudged a finger to stick them into the suit.
Ronnie quickly dived from the side of the pool and into the blue water. Her son dove in after him and now the two of them raced around the pool.
He was magnificient as his gleaming, bronze body stroked in long stretches across the brite water. Her clitoris tingled its familiar ring and she wet her lips unconsciously and her red lips pursed in the blazing sun.
Every once in a while her son shot her a glance. She was sitting on the beach chair with her face buried in the book and he could clearly see her rounded breasts and the tightly fitting snatch of her suit.
"Mom, could you make us a drink."
"What would you like."
"Lemonade would be good."
"Be right back."
She got up and couldn't resist shaking her toosch ever so little. She could feel both boys staring at her bouncing cheeks as she went through the glass door and into the kitchen.
"Ron, you'll have to excuse my mother. She hasn't been herself since she broke up with my father."
"Yeah, I guess that must be pretty tough on her."
He did not like his interest.
"She does okay for herself. Dad's giving her the car and the house."
"I didn't mean that so much. I mean she must be a little lonely."
"She's not lonely. I'm here," he said loudly.
"Take it easy willya. I didn't mean nothin by it."
"My mom's a nice lady. She's just a little confused by everything that happened."
"I know, Dave, I could see she's a real nice person."
"Maybe she should date a little," said her son relenting a bit.
"It wouldn't be the worst thing you know."
"I guess I just can't picture her with anyone else but Dad."
"She's young enough...."
But he didn't finish the sentence as Mrs.' Meyers was back with a tray filled with three glasses of iced lemonade.
"You boys talking about me, I presume."
They were a bit shocked that they had been overheard. Actually it was just a case of woman's intuition.
"Why yes, maam, we were saying that you a very beautiful lady. I wish my mother looked like you."
"That's very flattering, Ronnie, but I'm sure your mother is a fine lady."
"Oh, she is, but she can be a nag."
"David will tell you that all mothers are nags. Right dear?"
"I can put up with nagging but other things really annoy me."
She had better change the subject. David was not reacting well to her little charade. She settled back down and read the book. The boys whooped it up in the pool.
Ronnie was on the board now and balancing himself on the edge. Her eyes held him out the corners like she was spying on him. Her glance was covered from her son by the glossy paperback.
He straightened his form and his muscles pulled taut. Her raised his arms above his head and his plunge threatened to split the tight bathing suit. His black hair sparkeld from the rays of the sun when he took a last breath of air and sprung into the pool. Jean was sweating. Her sparkle of passion raced through her loins and settled in her clitoris. She twitched in her seat and her heavy jugs bounced in her suit and rubbed against her nipples. They were rising.
When Ronnie was frolicking in the pool her son came over to her. He smelled her perfume for the first time. She must have put it on when she went back in the house. He had never seen her acting so strangely.
"I don't think we'll stay for dinner."
"I'm not letting you out of this house without eating first."
"We're going to the movies with Cathy and Dee so we'll probably stop for a hamburger after the show."
"It's no trouble. I can make you a little something."
"That's all right. And don't wait up even if I'm a little late."
Then he picked up and went over to his friend as she made believe she was reading. They discussed a few matters and then they both made their goodbyes to her. They had to get ready for their date. They left giggling and laughing about something and her son continued to make that gesture like he was holding a cigarette and puffing on it.
She remained in the chair and wistfully bemoaned her fate. Not only had she made herself look foolish she had embarrassed the boys as well. She felt dirty and guilty for dumping her hang-ups onto them.
She dropped the book on the side of the chair and burned her eyes into the hot afternoon son as if to burn the guilt from her soul. The hot rays dried her wet eyes before they could swell up in tears.
Had David really discerned her peculiar attitude? Or was he just jealous of the slight attentions his friend paid her. At least it had made her feel a little better, at the time to know that she could catch an eye when she needed it.
She was sure he had spotted Ronnie curiously eying her bulging frame as it threatened to break loose from its bindings. She remembered that when she noticed his eyes on her breasts that familiar tingle had registered in her loins.
She felt her body with one hand and gently pouunded the mound of her pelvis. She could feel her clit respond through the fabric and she turned a little red.
What was she doing in broad daylight where all the neighbors could see and her son might reappear at any minute? She was not acting rational . A week ago such a gesture would've have made her nauseous.
She took herself up and prepared to dive into the pool. For a moment she hesitated on . the edge as if she was considering the result. Then she dived headlong and went as far down as she could go before coming up for air.
She quickly got out of the pool and searched for a towel and patted herself dry .The water had not only cleansed the sweat from her body but had eased her mind as well. It was as if she had been relieved of her guilt for her actions just passed.
She entered the house feeling a little better about herself than she had all day. The purging of the emotion seemed to lift the fog from her mind. It was a success in the sense that she had acted impulsively and could live with the fact.
Consciously she thought that was the end of it. Deeper down there was a notion that she had merely planted a seed for the next meeting. Her intuition rose to tell her of the destiny she was planning but her conscience refused to accept it.
The boys were gone. They had dressed fast and made a quick exit. David must have been so perturbed by her strange behavior that he had both of them high tail it out of here before something else unexplainable happened.
She disrobed and dressed and prepared for the lonely night ahead. It promised of more demons and the haunting dreams of her husband and his sordid love mistress.
She lit a cigarette with a shaky hand and her thoughts drifted to the moment on the deserted island when they had made passionate love. Quickly the image was replaced by Robert and his lover embracing in the bar.
Then against her will both images merged and the three of them were making love on the island, then in a motel. She fought to erase the scene but it kept fighting its way to the surface.
The thoughts rambled throguh her fevered barin. She was helpless prisoner of her own emotional state. It was like being taught values that no longer had any bearing in the real world because they didn't apply in the moment of truth.
She crushed the cigarette out and with it the hopes of fulfilment. She was alone and increasingly desperate. Her clitoris kept tingling its message and she squirmed in her seat to squelch it. But it wouldn't go away.