Chapter 10
Doing What Comes Naturally
Effie J., at eighteen, went to Chicago to work as a desk clerk in one of the large hotels. She was interested in art and wanted to attend the Chicago Art Institute. However, she found the night classes, the only ones she could take because of her job, offered rather poor courses, so she sought to find art instruction elsewhere.
Her landlady told her of a man who lived just down the street, Mr. Meiser, a Russian who was an artist, teacher, and buyer of art objects. Effie went to see him. A pretty, dark girl with much vitality and a great deal of artistic talent, she immediately won him over, and he agreed to take her on as a student, if she would perform certain small duties around the studio.
She agreed and moved in with him, his dowdy wife, and three children. He went all out to instruct her, also teaching her how to clean and restore old paintings. She became so good at this work that she was later assigned to work at a museum for one whole year.
Effie adored Mr. Meiser. Her father had left her mother when she was only six, and her mother had married a succession of men, none of them amounting to much. Effie had been ashamed of all of them. Mr. Meiser became a sort of father image to her.
Some time later, Mr. Meiser coaxed Effie into becoming his mistress. Old in years, he was impotent in the natural way, but he liked to satisfy Effie with his mouth.
Effie learned to like her sex that way. Also, it let her remain a virgin.
Mr. Meiser died suddenly, and a few months later, Effie married a man ten years her senior. For a time, things were ideal between her and Tom.
But Tom, also an art buyer, had tastes that were different from Effie's, and they began to disagree on certain points of art. Also, since Effie liked oral love, she craved it now, but it wasn't Tom's kind of fun.
She and Tom never talked about sexual matters. But, frustrated, Effie took to drink. And drink made her fat and not as attractive as she once had been.
Matters went from bad to worse, and finally, Tom divorced her.
Sexual frustration results in unhappiness. One feels deep inside that one's sex life isn't all it should be. As a result, periods of depression, feelings of isolation, arise.
Effie and her kind have more company than one might think.
like any other bodily function, when the sex urge is frustrated, a great number of other undesirable psychological and anatomical consequences will arise. Sex frustration can make one sick in mind and body. Millions of men and women would be shocked and angry to learn that many of their body and personality handicaps stem from an emotional problem, probably unconscious and mainly in the sexual area. In realizing that there is a very intimate connection between mind and body, that one can affect the other, scientists now give prime emphasis to psychological problems as a cause for physical complaints.
Karl W. was a handsome young bachelor who bitterly despaired about the inability of medical specialists to explain the pain he experienced around his sex organ, until he recently visited a consultant in psychosomatic disorders.
Red-faced, shaking with rage, glaring angrily at the specialist who only a moment before had delivered his diagnosis, Karl could hardly believe his ears.
"So it's all emotional!" he raged. "So that's what you think! Next, you'll tell me I'm some sort of kook who goes around pretending like he's got real pain like I've got because that's how I get my kicks!"
The doctor remained calm. "After taking everything into consideration," he said carefully, "after evaluating your emotional history, I find your symptom typical of so many men who use a body complaint, particularly in the genital area, as a way of expressing resentment against an unsatisfactory sex life."
Touchy and sensitive about his sex frustration, Karl was reluctant to accept the idea that an emotional problem could get the upper hand. Knowing this, the specialist approached him delicately, suggesting he seek psychotherapy.
Karl did, and some months later, when the symptoms disappeared, he was grateful that the specialist had been on the right track.
Competitive by nature, and not unaware of his good looks, Karl knew he was attractive to women. But his good looks did not always assure him that the young lady felt undying love for him, especially when she refused his fumbling, impetuous overtures for sexual intercourse. It all left him feeling empty and morose.
Haunted by the belief that other men breezed through life, making one conquest after another, Karl had developed a feeling of anger and hostility. He was sure that all young women were sadistically withholding from him what they freely gave to other men.
So he had approached females with a "conquer or die" attitude, and, not liking his rapacious manner, they broke off relationships. As time went on, this situation became worse.
And so did his body pains.
Of this type of emotionally troubled patient, the psychoanalyst explains: "Such terms of feeling as heavy, unbearable sensations, constant nagging pains in the genital organs, tearing sensations when voiding are but a few of the expressions used when patients try to describe their plight. Diseases may be brought about by intense emotional upheavals. Envy, jealousy, sorrow, fear, ambition, self-centeredness, frustration, rage are all part of the pattern."
Men seek sexual liaison with a female, not only for release, but also to attain a feeling of worthiness. Though the average man is often able to attain this feeling of worth through position, clubs, hobbies, and other creative activities, he changes most severely if he is frustrated in his sexual gratification. Let a man have all he desires, and usually it will not suffice if he repeatedly finds his body, his masculinity, his essence as a person, unpalatable to members of the opposite sex. The pangs of rejection are more than he can bear, and, in time, they take their toll.
Sexual frustration makes one lash out at whatever it is that prevents him from getting what he wants, or, failing that, the handiest substitute, or at the world in general. It's the same sort of mood we experience when a door strikes us. We're-likely to want to kick the daylights out of it!
The cry has gone up that poor health of our young is endangering national security. Our armed forced are having difficulty in finding young men who are able to pass the physicals. Medical boards are appalled by the alarming number of young men who suffer from backaches.
One rejected young man went back to the factory where he had formerly worked. But from the day of his rejection notice, he was never quite the same. He secretly brooded about his inner sense of humiliation. Though he didn't know it, he was typical of the young men with a psychosomatically caused backache condition. like them, this was the only way he could channel his seething sex frustration.
Still virginal at twenty-six, he was proud of his self-control, took pride in abiding by the moral exhortations of his very strict and upright parents. "My marriage is going to be something pure, not filthy like some of those wild kids have," he would assure his parents.
Finally, he found a girl friend. Helen was plain-looking, but even without make-up, she had that rare, effortless quality of ripe sexiness, as if nature had refused to heed her inner need for modesty. When she got engaged to John, she felt her disguise against life had ended. She would no longer have the tiresome chore of picking clothes that would disguise or conceal her voluptuous shape, her trim waist, and taut, but ample, nipples and breasts. John appreciated her purity, and this made her happy. It no longer mattered if other men appraised her hungrily.
But John saw her so pure that he was unable to come to grips with his sexual desires. One does not have intercourse with The Virgin. As a result, John again developed his psychic backache. He felt that his physical desires for Helen were sinful, evil, corrupting.
A British doctor of psychosomatic problems calls such people obsessive-rheumatics. He claims their personality characteristics are formed as a reaction to a very stern, authoritarian figure in childhood. They develop a very powerful super-ego, or conscience, thereby paving the way for a great deal of repressed hostility, resentment and guilt. All of these together make them unelastic, rigid in their emotional reactions, leading to a similar quality in their physical responses.
All along, Donald D. had hated his parents unknowingly for having reared him so strictly, inhibiting him, making him feel guilty about sex. He felt cheated and deprived, the unwilling victim of their narrow thinking. Loyal and conforming to their every wish, he nonetheless could not release his inner hatred for them. Rather than admit it to himself, he developed a jealousy for the sexually free ways of other young men and women. He adopted a sour attitude, rationalizing that he was pure.
For a time, he adopted masturbation as a means to sexual release.
At seventeen, he found a neighbor girl who was willing to give him sex.
On his first try, he was unsuccessful. They were out in the garage alone, and suddenly, she was grinning at him, inviting him to put his arms around her, kiss her rosebud mouth. She felt soft and firm, and she could kiss! Man, she could kiss!
She sucked his tongue and tickled the roof of his mouth until he could hardly bear the sweet ecstasy of it all. He ran his hand down and played with her tits. She had nice, big tits. His cock was getting as hard as a crowbar.
She laughed, and Donald began to feel a little timid. He felt his cock wilt. She turned and begged him to play with both of her tits. He squeezed them and sucked in his breath at the crazy feel of her. He rolled her nipples around in his hands and pinched them.
She yelled, then looked up at him, smiling, looking at his lips. He kissed her, feeling her tongue again. Then he ran his hand down over her belly and felt her mound. She didn't jump when he worked his finger slowly into her juicy opening.
He touched her clit, and she let out her breath.
Donald's heart was beating fast as he began to finger-fuck her. She clamped her lips to his mouth, and he continued to jazz her with his finger.
She was panting a little now, hot as she could be, with a squishy pussy. Her eyes were begging him to do something. Her body began jerking crazily toward him.
Donald's cock had hardened again and was pushing at the front of his pants. She reached down, unzipped him, and released it. It sprang out, big and stiff, and she spread her legs wide as an invitation for him to fuck her. He looked down at her curly, dark hair that was all wet and shining. He smoothed her thighs, then moved to mount her.
Suddenly, his cock shriveled. "Oh, God, for crissake, take me," she begged. He tried to push his wilted cock in her, but it wouldn't go. She growled at him, and he felt terrible.
"Gee, I'm sorry I'm really sorry," he told her. "I want to fuck you, honest! I really want to fuck it to you."
"With that wilted thing?" she asked disgustedly. She took hold of his cock and manipulated it hotly. Then she ducked her head and licked it. That started him again. She went after him passionately, sucking and licking, pulling at it and bobbing her head up and down. Donald began to smile.
She slipped down between his legs and butted him with her head like a calf sucking its mother. She went for his cock like it had chocolate candy on it. He fondled her as she squeezed it with her lips.
Now, she grasped the thick, hairy base of his prick with one hand and made moaning sounds over its head. She took his cock deep into her throat, withdrew it slowly, then sank it deep again.
Donald's hands came to her head and pushed down until her lips were spread over the base of his rigid dong. She clasped it with both hands and worked her tongue over its head. Donald became mindless over what she was doing to him. He worked his hips to thrust his cock deeper.
"Oh, Christ!" he panted. He was coming! He felt the girl's tongue lash the underside of his glans. An animal sound tore from his throat as his orgasm exploded in him and he shot his thick, sweet sperm into her hot throat.
She kept her mouth on him until his cock got wrinkled and soft. He sat up and put it inside his pants and zipped up.
"Don't you want to fuck me?" she asked.
"You know I do, baby," he told her. "But my cock's limp."
She grabbed his dong through his pants and squeezed it.
"Tomorrow, then, huh?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said. "Again, here in the garage."
He watched her get up, smooth down her dress, and slip out of the garage. She was a dish, all right, shapely as hell, and hot as Mexican chili. His cock tingled with the memory of what she'd done to him. He told himself he'd get it in her the next time.
But he never did, though he let her suck him a couple more times after that. The girl was probably not a virgin, but Donald didn't know. Anyway, sucking didn't deflower her. And it was something his parents had never mentioned to him. It was not in the pattern of things which made him feel guilty about sex. Sucking was a hell of a lot more enjoyable than hand manipulation!
Mr. S, twenty-three years of age, had caught gonorrhea while in high school. He masturbated moderately at the time of puberty. He had always considered himself healthy, but two days after he married, he went to Doctor H. for consultation. On approaching his young bride, he had found that his erection was too weak to pierce the virginal portals. After his first failure, every repeated attempt caused his cock to shrink about half its normal size.
The most frequent cause of psychic impotence is the thought of failure. An accidental single failure, such as Mr. S. had, or one brought on through the temporary abuse of alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, or through too intense desire, may occur in a healthy man. And it will pass almost unnoticed.
But the nervous man will begin to brood over his failure, and his brooding will prevent the formation of associative paths in the brain as every subsequent attempt at coition.
In the nervous man, the imagination, having once become impressed with groundless fears, may retain them with extreme tenacity and busy itself with constant brooding in solitude over the fancied ills. Thus, a disorder of adjustment is established, and a psychic trauma is created. This psychic trauma is translated into fear again.
A pathological state is thus induced where the natural course of erection fails to follow the sexual excitement. In this way a veritable disease is produced, where there is strong desire without full power. Every additional failure provokes more intense broodings which are naturally again the cause of failure.
A vicious circle is created which may render an occasional innocent failure into a permanent impotency.
Mr. S. feared that his problem was caused either by early masturbation, or by disease. Neither proved to be the case. He revealed that when he did not try copulation, his erection lasted. Taking this as a clue, his doctor advised a lot of foreplay and experimentation.
Luckily, his young wife was not as hung-up on sex as was her husband. She licked the side of his penis, using at first just the tip of her tongue. Then she went around his testicles and put them in her mouth, sucking them gently. The husband moaned out his pleasure. She came back up his penis, working along the big vein underneath. And then she covered the head with her lips.
He went wild. He'd never done anything queer in his life, but she was giving him oral satisfaction like he'd only dreamed about! He thought he'd die when she put the whole thing in her mouth and took it all the way down.
He didn't want her to stop. But he wanted to give her pleasure, too. So he moved around and began to work the tip of his tongue into her cunt. She went wild, screaming out and lashing him with her fingernails. He made his tongue hard like his cock, and she commenced squealing and thrashing around.
"Suck me!" he ordered. They were in a sixty-nine position, and she had hold of his cock, jerking him off, skinning the flesh back and forth. He pulled away, and she caught him and stuffed his hard rod into her mouth. Suddenly, he felt himself spurting tremendous amounts of come.
Then his cock went limp in her mouth.
Another time, about a week later, she started sucking his prick before he could get his clothes off and get ready for bed. She gave him a first rate blow job! The next night, she blew him by kneeling down in front of him before they got undressed. He held her head in his hands and shot his come into her throat, and she said it was good.
It was so good for him that his knees went weak.
Through oral love, they both developed a healthy interest in the pleasures of the flesh. Through trial and error, they discovered a new sexual world, one where the pinnacle of erotic pleasure is obtainable, not occasionally, but constantly. The learned techniques for obtaining complete sexual fulfillment. And Mr. S. was able to perform as few men are capable.
Among other things, Mr. S. and his wife discovered the best positions to narrow the vaginal opening, thus giving the man more stimulation. They learned positions that automatically forced the woman's thighs to add to penile stimulation, and discovered positions that most directly excited the clitoris.
Mr. S. was delighted that his wife worked out a position which held his organ after climax, preventing its rapid contraction. And she knew a position that held his partial erection most firmly!
No one is ever born with knowledge of how to engage in sexual intercourse. It must be learned.
Schools have ignored such education, leaving it up to the instruction of parents or to chance. So few young couples have much real sexual knowledge.
And our married couples? Many of them are not completely satisfied with their sex lives. Sexual unhappiness disturbs them, and, in many cases, breaks up the marriage. Sexual unhappiness is something private, something personal, something one person does not quickly turn to another and reveal. In far too many cases, a person remains unhappy and silent, when he might, by reading and experiment, find a successful sex life.
One young wife confesses: "The first time, I didn't have any idea what to do or how to do it. If Bob hadn't been so patient and understanding, I don't know what I should have done. First, he had me play with his cock with my hand, and he taught me what excited a man. Bob had me so excited I was half out of my mind. I had his penis in my hand, and it was only an inch or two from my lips. Kissing it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to do. He kept talking to me, telling me how to rub my lips over it, run my tongue up and down it, then gently suck it. It was just beautiful!"
The husband praised: "She'd place her hands on the bed for support and begin licking my cock from the base up. She wouldn't do this for long, just long enough to tease me. Then she'd usually wrap her hand around its base and hold it while she kissed its head. When she'd take it into her mouth, she'd always be very moist and a little tight, but not too tight. She knew that a penis is sensitive and too much pressure can be uncomfortable for a man. And if a girl's mouth is too loose, a man won't respond. She had a way of making me feel all sides of her mouth, but the pressure was very moderate."
A wife reports: "Lips to lips, we sank down on the bed. I was on my back, and Mel lay on top of me, holding me tightly, possessively, in his great eagerness to weld his body to mine. Then I felt his lips slide down, down-"
" 'Do you still think this is perversion?' " he whispered, his tongue finding my slit. " 'Do you find it repulsive and dirty?' "
" 'Oh, no, no! It's perfect!' I said."
" 'Then don't ever say I didn't tell you so!' "
"His tongue entered my cunt, found my clit, and I writhed. 'Oh, please,' I breathed.
" 'Let's not waste any more time talking.'"
"He covered my cunt with his lips. Free of the inhibitions that had kept us apart until now, our lips and hands eagerly explored each other's bodies, but with tenderness and a sort of awe at the beauty of oral contact.
"Mel's tongue began to move inside me. And I experienced pure ecstasy."