Chapter 3

"TRICKS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!"

"Mom" no longer exists. Her place has been taken over by "Mother." Psychiatrists and sociologists alike point to the status-driven Mother as the cause of many of their daughters' sexual problems and excesses.

In many cases, the mother-daughter relationship has become one of sexual rivalry, not necessarily for the same man, but in a sense of general sexual competitiveness. More and more frequently, mothers no longer consider their daughters as daughters, but as other women in the sex pool. And daughters often tend to regard their mothers in the same way.

In dress, "mother-and-daughter" outfits are equally seductive. In the beauty parlor, mothers will often say, "Give me a hairdo like my daughter's." In TV commercials, emphasis is placed upon the mother-and-daughter who are mistaken for sisters. It is not surprising, therefore, that mothers and daughters eventually begin to regard each other as sexual rivals, rather than as a family.

Or, even if the sexual rivalry does not make itself felt, teen-age and sub-teen daughters often begin to regard themselves to be as sexually-ready as their mothers. After all, if they are equals in so many other respects, then why should they not be equals in sexual matters too?

Mothers used to try to teach their growing daughters the rudiments of cooking, and baking and housekeeping. Today, they tend more to imbue in their daughters a sexual expertise. It would astonish many people to realize how many young girls were encouraged - even directed - into their first sex adventure with a man, by their mothers!

CASE HISTORY

Investigators of the Probate Court in a well-to-do community were asked to check into the activities of Lisa H., a divorcee and her fourteen-year-old daughter, Ava. The story is one that pinpoints the influence of the seductive permissive mother in American society today, and, as such, is important to this report.

Lisa was pregnant when, at seventeen, she married a man who was not the man who had made her pregnant. He left Lisa a year later.

For a while Lisa tried working to support herself and her infant child. But this was boring and inconvenient to the frequent dates she had. Very beautiful and desirable, with a shapely body and a lively spirit, Lisa had started dating almost immediately after her husband's desertion. She never hesitated to engage in sexual adventures with her dates. She had convinced herself that she "needed" sex, that she was a passionate woman. This was not true. Lisa used sex as a method of ego-boost, without genuine physical satisfaction being achieved.

When an executive in the office where Lisa worked suggested a date, it occurred to her that she really shouldn't have to work at all, that she should use her beauty and her physical attributes for the purposes of a livelihood, rather than pounding a typewriter. She accepted a date with the executive. It didn't bother Lisa at all that the man was married. He was wealthy. This seemed like ample reason for her to accept his offer of a date, and whatever might come later.

Lisa waited until the end of the date that evening to exert her sexual attractions. The executive had a reputation as somewhat of a wolf. Lisa knew it. She knew, too, that he wasted little time, that he no doubt intended to go on the make for her that very evening. She hoped it was true. She intended to make it work for her.

As they left the club where they had enjoyed cocktails and dinner, Lisa clutched tightly to the man's arm, making very sure that her large breast crushed against him, letting him feel the roundness and firmness of it, perhaps even the sharp nipple, she hoped.

During the evening Lisa had told her escort of the hard times a woman has when she raises a child alone. She exaggerated as she told him of the struggle, the constant tiredness, and the hopelessness of a life alone. The man was a sympathetic listener. He suggested that they should extend their evening. Would she like a nightcap at the apartment he kept in the city? Would she? Indeed she would! Lisa told him so. But in a contrived manner that hinted at shyness.

The apartment was one of the most attractive Lisa had ever seen. It made her own place seem drabber than it actually was. They had their drinks in the large living room, sitting close together on an expensive couch. When the man put his arm around her shoulder, Lisa turned her face to him and received his kiss.

Considering the psychiatric report that claimed Lisa had little true feelings for sexual contact, it is of interest to review her thoughts at the time of this first kiss with a stranger whom Lisa intended to exploit sexually for her own advantage.

Lisa has admitted that her thoughts were not of the man's tongue shooting into her mouth, nor of one of his hands that crept to the neckline of her dress and sneaked inside to clutch her breast.

Her thoughts were of the expensive apartment, the man's wealth, his obvious pleasure in her company, and of how she could utilize all of this for her own material comfort. For a while she considered playing hard to get, but she sensed that this would not work with a man like him, used to getting his way easily. So, when the man slid her shoulder strap down and exposed one breast to which he bent, open-mouthed, she did not restrain him. Instead, she gripped his head and forced him hard against her nipple and breast.

Soon, they were nude and facing each other in the bedroom. They came together in a clash of bodies that sounded throughout the room. She moaned and cried. It was pretense worthy of the finest actress. She had learned a long time ago that a man was made to feel more masculine and masterful, more sexually powerful, if a woman was passionately responsive to his love-making, even if that response was only pretense on her part.

Lisa played her role well. When she was braced and ready, she whined a sad, frightened call. Then, when he plunged his penis into her, she cried out in thrill as though this were the first male excitation she had ever known. And at the very end when she sensed that her lover was near his climax, she cried out, screamed, sobbed and mumbled all sorts of insane things about love and sex and the man and herself.

The glow of satisfaction was on the man's face as soon as they rested after their sexual exhaustion. When he turned to her again, Lisa knew that she was about to receive a permanent proposition. She was right.

"You're quite a gal," he said.

"No, that's not true - I'm just an old bag who tries to take care of her kid."

"I'm glad you mentioned that," the man said.

"I'm not - it's embarrassing."

"It shouldn't be. Nevertheless, I have a suggestion."

She looked at him, then turned and shyly looked at the floor.

"I have this apartment," the man continued. "I rarely use it, and I've got a long lease on it. Why don't you and little Ava move in here?"

"Here? I couldn't afford it."

"You don't have to. The lease is paid."

"Oh." She hesitated, then said, "No, really, I couldn't."

"You're thinking about the strings that are attached, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yes."

"There's only one," he said. "It's me. I'd be lying if I pretended otherwise. But, judging by the way we are together - the way you were, especially, I don't think I'm very hard to take."

"Oh, you're not - not at all," she said quickly and in exactly the right tone.

"Good. Then it's settled, isn't it?"

She hesitated, then said, "But it's going to be messy - both of us in the same office and everything."

"You're not there anymore," he said.

"I'm not?" She was pretty sure she knew what he meant, but she put just the right amount of surprise in her voice.

"No. I just fired you and put you on my personal payroll as custodian of this apartment."

They clinched their agreement by a new embrace, then by rolling to the bed and engaging once again in the sex that was really the basis of their contract.

Lisa remained ten years as the wealthy executive's mistress. She enjoyed the luxury of her apartment, a generous allowance, and the opportunity to raise her daughter in a better than average economic bracket.

And it was during these ten years that young Ava grew into a young woman, became, at fourteen, an exceptionally beautiful girl with long auburn hair, hazel eyes, and a figure that was the envy of every woman whom she encountered. It was during this time, too, that Lisa's seductive permissiveness - born perhaps from her own guilt and the desire to compensate or rationalize her kept-woman existence - invaded her child, stimulated the young girl and sent her into indiscretions that led to her eventual future.

"You're really his mistress, aren't you?" Ava asked one day shortly after she reached the age of fourteen.

Lisa did not answer at once. She had feared this day, but had not prepared for it. But, within her there was even a stronger force than that of protecting her child, or embarrassing her child. The stronger force was her own ego - her own necessity for always being "right."

"You are, aren't you?" Ava asked again.

"Yes," Lisa admitted.

There followed a long conversation about sex, men, money, the facts of life as they related to living, the problems of a mother who had been deserted with a young child, and the constant reminder to Ava that her mother was still a young woman, one who should be allowed to enjoy both the finer things of life and the man who provided them. And the finer things of life, of course, included sex.

"I guess I'm not surprised very much," Ava said when her mother finished. "I guess maybe I always knew how things were between you and him."

"Perhaps you did," the mother said. "You've always been a bright little girl."

Then, as if finished with the subject and more intent on other things, Ava asked, "Is it fun to make love to a man?"

"Of course, darling," Lisa said. "It's great fun."

"Why?"

Frigid Lisa called upon things that she had heard rather than those she actually felt. "Because it makes you feel very excited and wonderful."

"How?" Ava asked. "You mean when a boy kisses me it should make me feel good?"

"You should know," Lisa kidded. "I'm sure that nice boy you went to the show with the other night kissed you."

"You don't care that he did?" Ava looked at her mother carefully.

"Of course not. You should find it really rather flattering."

"Well then, he kissed me, all right. He handled me a little too."

"He touched your breasts?" Lisa asked, being sure to keep her voice calm. She gave no sign of concern or distress, because she felt none.

"He went up my skirt, too."

"He touched you there?"

"Yes." In a mood of giving a confidence, Ava nudged closer to her mother where they sat on the couch, then said, "Why did I feel so funny - so kind of high and trembly - when he touched me there?"

"Because that's the very place that's given to a woman so that she can make love to a man," Lisa told her.

"But that's not where he touched me," Ava exclaimed. "He touched me higher - and - and I thought I was going to pass out."

Lisa considered carefully what her next words to Ava would be. Finally she said, "That's because sex - especially first-time sex - is terribly important and exciting to a girl."

"Doesn't it stay that way - important and exciting? Is it only that way the first time? Only in the beginning?" Ava seemed genuinely curious.

"That depends on the man, as well as yourself," Lisa told her. "There are some men with whom it is always exciting. And there are some with whom it hardly ever is."

"Then whatever a woman gets out of sex really depends on the man she's doing it with?"

"To some extent," Lisa said slowly. "A lot depends on the woman too. On how much she knows about how to use her body, how to respond to a man."

"Oh, well," Ava said. "I suppose I'll learn all about it in time."

"Yes," Lisa said slowly. "You'll learn. Soon enough."

"And you don't care if I go out with that boy again, eh?"

"Of course not. Why should I? I think you should date him as often as you like."

Ava did. Several times a week. And by the end of a month the fourteen-year-old girl and the sixteen-year-old boy were engaging actively, and regularly, in sexual intercourse.

Ava, when she later recalled the first such incident for the psychiatrist who was treating her, placed much of the responsibility for that situation upon her mother.

"I wouldn't be where I am right now," Ava said, "if my mother hadn't acted kind of pleased about all the playing around that boy and I were doing. What the hell - how does a girl know it's going to get her into trouble if her own mother doesn't tell her?"

According to Ava, the scene of her first act of sexual intercourse was a beach where she and the boy had gone to swim.

Ava and the boy named Ben played in the water for a long time. During their play, they occasionally kissed and the boy's hands often wandered to her breasts and buttocks. She liked the feel of his hands upon her, she has claimed, liked it because it spoke of love and affection, qualities that were apparently otherwise missing in her life.

When the young people finished with the water and their swim, they settled on the blanket they had placed on the smooth sand beach.

Ava has related that at this moment, even before it, she knew that Ben was going to try to make love to her. She knew, too, that she would let him. In fact, Ava told the psychiatrist, she could hardly restrain herself to wait until Ben made the first move.

Ben gripped her by the shoulders and kissed her hard. She immediately opened her mouth and received his tongue, latching her lips to it and drawing upon it passionately. Her enthusiasm for his kiss amazed her. So did the warmth that swept her body, and the quickened beat of her heart. She grasped his hand and forced it to her breast. Then, as they continued kissing, she lowered her bra and exposed her breasts. Bob kneaded them. Then with a groan of urgency, he forced her to her back upon the blanket.

"You're going to do it to me, aren't you?" she asked, stripping off her swimsuit.

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

"You're a funny one," he laughed.

"Come on - hurry up."

He yanked his swim trunks off, then reached over to his pants which were folded on the blanket.

"Come on," Ava said. "What are you doing anyway?"

"Getting something so you won't get knocked up."

"Oh-a rubber," she said. "To hell with it - come on, get in to me - fast."

Amazement swept the boy's face. He left his trousers where they were and lunged to her side. They embraced. Ava, who had felt the wonder of discovery when she sighted the young and massive penis that was already hard and throbbing, reached and grasped him. Then she twisted him hurtfully. He did not mind. He returned her mean touch with a light one of his own, one that moved between her thighs then upward to a high ground of sensitivity. She moaned. He circled his fingers, moving slowly at the beginning then increasing his speed. Her hips bounced up and down, thrusting in a demand for more of the thrill he was providing.

And then she stopped him. "Oh, no more of that," she wheezed. "No more -just you - let me have your cock."

Ben raised above her and settled toward the braced cradle she had made of her legs. He paused, then lurched forward.

Ava cried out as she received him, screamed both the hurt and the pleasure of the entry of the first male flesh into her body. And then she settled into the act of giving and receiving, as if she were mature and had been making love most of her life. Their bodies spun together, crashed, crunched close and paused, then separated, then smacked together again in a series of hard joinings, then moved slowly again.

And Ava, unlike her mother, had thoughts for nothing but the next contact, touch, movement, variation of that movement and the great, great sensation that was building within her.

When she had been taken as high and as far as she could go - as far as the boy could go too - she gave a long, eerie call, then began the hard thrusting motion that would carry her over the high peak she had reached.

As her emotions burst and she started on the roller coaster descent of thrill, she screamed and her cries mixed with the heavy, exciting groans of the boy. They remained close together, still in the position of love. They rested. Then, the boy being young and strong, he got hard and moved in on her again. And soon they were on a new journey to the never-never land of wondrous sexual pleasure.

This time they traveled the road slower, more practiced, and in a lingering way that allowed each of them to feel and react to the slightest movement from the other. And Ava reacted to both the thud of him within her and to his hands kneading at her breasts. And finally as they ascended and descended the peak of orgasm again, she reacted to the tight clamp of his mouth against hers as their tongues sought to catch up with the rioting race of their bodies.

This was her first time. It initiated her into the sex her mother had always known, the sex that had subconsciously been fostered by her mother's own permissiveness. And it marked the beginning of a regular pattern in the fourteen-year-old girl's life.

When Ava turned fifteen, she began to dream of freedom. She did not know exactly what kind of additional freedom she wanted, for certainly her mother was permissive about the child's activities, too. But there was a restlessness within the child that demanded outlet -more than she was obtaining from her sexual activities several times a week.

It was at this time that Ava met a middle-aged friend of her mother's lover. He was rich and attractive. He asked if he might take her to dinner one night. She was undecided, perhaps sensing that there was something wrong, or at least something different about her dating a mature man. She asked her mother what she thought.

"Go out with him, dear, and have a good time," Lisa told her. "Older men are charming - I'm sure you'll find him very, very attentive."

Ava did. The man seduced her in the front seat of his car, although it could hardly be called a seduction since Ava consented, indeed, even encouraged the act.

When they were finished, the man made a proposition. He had contacts that could use a girl such as Ava. Then he explained about a girl-for-hire syndicate which operated on a nation-wide scale, and which had a special section for young girls. It offered Ava the opportunity for money, travel, expensive clothing and the freedom she desired. She accepted without a second thought.

Ava became extremely successful in her new activity. She not only participated in the sexual area of the syndicate business, but she also became an efficient minor executive in its operation, a most unusual circumstance for such a young girl as she. Her syndicate activity was carried on undercover, so to speak, and most people knew her only as a successful career girl, in an ambiguous business enterprise.

Her mother continued to advise her, no matter which area of the country Ava happened to be operating in, and Ava shrewdly continued to follow her mother's advice, in all matters.

In a large mid-Western city, Ava met a middle-aged bank executive who fell genuinely in love with her, although he was married and the father of grown children almost as old as Ava herself. He asked Ava to become his mistress, and Ava hardly had to ask her mother what her answer should be.

She accepted his offer, and since - unlike her mother - she felt an honest affection for the man who was keeping her, she severed her connection with the syndicate, although she was wise enough to do it amicably, in case she would want to resume it some time in the future. She devoted herself to her mature lover, and, even though she had occasional affairs with younger men, she respected him enough to keep these secret for him, and flattered him with enough devotion so that he never doubted her faithfulness to him.

There is no doubt that Ava's entire sexual pattern, and indeed, her mode of life, was strongly influenced by her mother.

The sexual permissiveness of some mothers is at an all time high today. Sometimes it is a status-seeking symbol; sometimes it is based upon the mother's own emotional problems. Whatever the cause, there is little doubt that many mothers are, knowingly or not, provoking their daughters into sexual activity long before they are actually ready for it.

In the foregoing case of Ava, the end result was a relatively happy one, because Ava herself was an intelligent and resourceful young girl. Sometimes the results are less pleasant, as other case histories in this collection will show.