Chapter 4

Roger felt as though he was at the end of his rope. The week had gone badly.

Meredith seemed determined to stay away from him, much to his surprise.

She wasn't the kind to turn down a free meal ticket that quickly. And, of course, she didn't know about the sudden acquisition of his ready-made family.

He could just imagine her reaction to Suzy and Cindi. Nieces or not, she would be hotly jealous of two beautiful women, whatever their age or relation.

Except that ... well, she wasn't coming back, from the looks of things, so he guessed it really didn't matter one way or the other what she thought.

But now, George. That was the last straw.

"I'm sorry sir," he announced with stiff British assurance. "You know my policy. No children. No families. I'm a bachelor's man. I like a schedule that I won't have to compete with someone over. I like things to be predictable. I like women to be conspicuous purely by the random objects they leave behind them, upon exiting in the morning. Understand me sir. I have no difficulty with women, per se, as a species I mean ... it's just that I cannot work in a situation of this sort.

"I cannot have this kind of environment. I mean, sir, look at it from my perspective.

"I have to say no women and no children ... these two fit both categories. I simply can't function among them, sir."

He was definite.

"George. I'll raise your salary. I'll give you another day off. Anything. You name your terms, George. Please. Just don't leave me alone. I can't deal with those two alone."

"Sir, you insult me. I'm disappointed. Truly I am. I realize that it is not intentional, but I am, nonetheless, disappointed. You seem to have become very careless all the way around, sir."

"George, please, I'll double your salary."

"It is NOT a question of money. Oh, sir, why do you persist in degrading us both? I have been quite content here, as you well know. Money is not the issue. I assure you, it is purely a personal choice on my part.

"George ... please...."

Roger hated to beg, and he would hate even more to start crying, but there was really no way he could avoid it. "George, if you persist in leaving, I shall have to shoot you."

He frowned. "Indeed, sir. Wouldn't you call that a bit extreme?"

"I'm a desperate man, George, isn't that obvious?"

George looked pained.

"Please sir, don't subject us to this. It will work out much better. Truly it will. I understand that Charles Osgood's man is looking for a new position. Perhaps you could interest him."

"What, that conservative relic? He dates from the height of the Empire. Come on George. I have to insist."

"Do you, sir? Do you indeed?"

"Aw, come on, George, don't leave me."

"Sir, we had an agreement. As much as I might wish it were not so, you, and you alone, with no prompting whatsoever from me,, saw fit to break our agreement. I can't ignore that fact, sir. I truly cannot ignore that fact."

And with that, George turned, picked up his bags, and marched out of the apartment.

Roger collapsed into a chair. From the guest room, the loud sounds of God knows what rock group came beating their way into his brain. He felt a strange desire to bite his fingernails. He'd never bitten his fingernails in his life!

My God, he thought, my life's coming apart. It's coming apart at the seams.

From the girl's room, the sound's of malcontent and confusion pounded a relentless rhythm:

All is confusion

All is despair Life's an illusion You know it's unfair. My head keeps on pounding Can't seem to diffuse it I just bought a shotgun, I think I might use it! "What!" Roger muttered aloud. "Christ, do they have to play it so fucking loud."

He jumped out of his chair and stormed over to the door, and began pounding on it. No response. He pounded harder. Still no response.

That was it. He was starting to feel like he was getting in the way in his own apartment.

He tried the doorknob, found it unlocked, and then, threw the door open.

He marched into the room, and the first thing that struck him was the temperature.

"Christ, it's cold in here. What's the window doing open. And the fan ... what's that smell?"

They were sitting on the bed, looking like the wife with the milkman under the bed.

"What are you two doing now?" he asked, sniffing again. "My God, is that what I think it is?"

He saw a small stream of smoke starting to rise up from behind Suzy.

"What's behind your back," he asked.

"Nothing, Uncle Roger. Honest."

"Uh huh ... then I guess you're on fire. Either that or the bed's on fire."

He walked over to the desk and picked up a bag of crushed green leaves.

"Oregano, I presume ...? "

"Uh, right. It's a kind of incense," Cindi began, looking like she didn't expect him to buy it for one second.

"Oh come off it. What do you take me for?

Give me that, Suzy."

With a forelorn look of chagrin on her face, Suzy reluctantly produced the lit joint that she'd been hiding behind her back.

"So,T guess you girls must think I'm really stupid, huh?"

He held it up to his nose and took a whiff. The smoke seared through his brain, and the first thing he did was sneeze. That promptly scattered ashes all through the air, making him sneeze once more.

The two girls started to giggle.

"Now cut that out."

"You almost have it right, Uncle Roger, but it works better if you take in a lot more, and hold it a lot longer."

They both started to giggle again.

"Knock it off," he grumbled. "I'm not about to ruin my brain with this stuff, and I'm appalled to find that you two have gotten such an early start ruining your brains."

"Have you ever tried it, Uncle Roger?" asked Suzy.

"No, and I'm not about to either."

"Then how do you know it's bad?"

"Huh? Now look, don't pull that crap with me! I know because I've read about it. This stuff can ruin you."

"When's the last time you got drunk, Uncle Roger?" asked Suzy.

"Now cut it out. It's not the same thing at all."

"Oh, I agree completely. One hundred per cent. But I'm speaking from an informed knowledge. You, on the other hand, are speaking purely from hearsay, which isn't even admissable as evidence in any proper court of law. You, Uncle Roger are indicting us on the basis of hearsay. Sounds pretty sad to me."

"Really," agreed Cindi. "What kind of example is that to be setting?"

"What are you girls talking about?"

"I've been drunk, and you're right, Uncle Roger, the two aren't the same at all. Booze makes your muscles stop working. Booze gives you a hangover. Booze makes you aggressive. Pot doesn't do any of those."

"I know, it just makes you want to lay around all day and smoke more pot."

"It beats laying around all day and drinking."

"You drink."

"Socially!"

"So. We smoke socially."

"Look, girls, this is ridiculous. I won't stand here and argue any more about...."

"Why don't you try it? Then you'd know what you were talking about."

Cindi smiled so sweetly when she said it, and she looked so earnest that Roger had to believe she was serious.

"Sure," Suzy chimed in, "I think it would be good for you. It would increase your experience, and that always has to be good for a writer, doesn't it?"

"Sure," said Cindi. "What if you want to have one of your characters do some drugs. You won't know what you're talking about."

"That's inexcusable for a writer."

"Bullshit. I had one of my characters go to Beruit once. I've never been there. It's called imagination. It's the first thing to go when you start doing drugs."

"How do you know? You've never done them."

"I know."

"He's not going to do it, Suzy, I think you ought to give up."

"You're darn right I'm not going to do it," Roger thundered.

"Too bad," said Suzy. "I would have had a lot more respect for you if you smoked it and then said you didn't like it."

Roger was going to shoot back a reply and then, thinking about it, said, "You would."

"Sure. Then, you'd know what you were talking about. You know, there really might be valid reasons for not smoking this stuff. But I'm too young to understand what they are. You're a lot older though. You might be able to understand it."

"Yeah," agreed Cindi, "but you can't expect us to listen to you if you haven't even tried it yourself, so you'll know what you're talking about."

"Really," Suzy piped back up. It was like facing tag-team wrestlers. "You have to loosen up, Uncle Roger."

"Yeah, Uncle Roger," Cindi repeated, "you have to loosen up. It's 1982."

"Girls, I see very clearly what you're trying to do, and I assure you, it won't work. However, your point is well taken. I shouldn't give you trouble as long as I have my own drugs of preference. But pleeeeeease; don't flaunt it. Don't get me busted."

He handed the joint back to Suzy, and turned around to walk out.

"Uncle Roger," said Suzy.

"What?"

"Sure you won't change your mind?" He got a pained look on his face and walked out.

"What do you think of that?" Suzy asked Cindi when he was gone.

"I think I'm cold. Why don't we close the window and turn off the fan. It's winter, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," said Suzy in a foul sounding mood. "I'm pissed. I thought for sure that he'd take you up on it."

"I think he still might."

"Why do you say that?"

"Oh, just the way he was looking at us. He's a strange dude. He's not really old, but it's like he comes from a different era than we do."

"No shit! I guess if he's thirty-five ... he must have just missed out on all the campus drug scene in the late sixties."

"Do you think so?"

"Obviously. How many other people have you met that never smoked pot?"

Suzy frowned. "I don't know if this is going to work out."

Roger frowned. I don't know if this is going to work out at all, he thought. They were too different. They were from ... from another world. It was a strange world, one that he couldn't even hope to understand. It made him feel old.

Just then, the phone rang.

"Hello, Roger darling."

Meredith? No, it didn't really sound like her.

"Yeah, who's this?"

"My my," she laughed. "Aren't we the unfriendly type. This is Jill Harmon."

"Oh, hello! I'm sorry I didn't recognize your voice ... I've had a lot on my mind and I wasn't expecting to hear from you."

"Well, listen, I was just wondering when we can see the first half of that book. You know, we do have a contractual deadline ... I mean, Roger, between you and me, we both know it can be extended ... but what do you say we get at least a few chapters in. Mr. MacGregor would rest easier at night. And when Mr. MacGregor rests, the advances flow much more freely."

"I get your meaning Jill. Look, I know I'm late, and I don't want to mess you up. You're the best editor I've had. How about thirty days from now? Would that satisfy him?"

"Should. Uh, Roger, thirty days from now ... don't let me down. All right?"

"Sure, Jill. Sure."

"And Roger ... one other thing."

"I'm listening."

"What are you doing tonight."

"Huh?"

"Why don't you come over for dinner? I'm a great cook."

"You ... I mean ... really?"

She chuckled. You sound like a high school kid."

"Ha ... funny you should mention that."

"Why?"

"Never mind. Are you serious? I mean, you're inviting me over for dinner?"

"It's not the first time a lady's asked you out, is it?"

"Uh ... well, yeah. It just might be."

"Well, I have to be honest, it's not entirely personal. I've got another project in mind and I want to give you a crack at it. So, we'll talk business for a few minutes and I'll write off the grocery bill. Fair enough?"

"Eight o'clock sound good?"

"Divine."

Later, Suzy and Cindi were sitting in their room, contemplating their uncle.

"So, we ran off his butler. I'm feeling bad about that," Cindi said.

"Bullshit. He was probably a fag anyway."

"Suzy!"

"All right, he was probably gay. Christ, how'd you get to be such a liberal."

"Suzy! Don't you feel at all guilty about the way we seem to be disrupting Uncle Roger's life style?"

"Honey, I feel guilty about the way I've been disrupting my own life style. Tonight, we are going to hit the town."

"Oh?"

"Um hmmm. And Uncle Roger's going to pay the tab."

"Oh? This I have to see."

"Just watch."

They found Roger in the study.

"Uncle Roger," said Suzy in a plaintive tone that made Cindi wince, "Listen, we were thinking ... you know, I mean, like, you're going out tonight, and everything ... and we really don't want to spend the night alone here ... and we haven't been able to do anything yet...."

"True ... " he said, uncertainly. "I don't really know if I can take you with me though. This is going to be sort of a working dinner."

"Oh. I see. Well, gee, I don't know if this is cool to ask or not, but do you think you might loan us a little money ... you know, so we could go to a movie or something?"

He smiled. "Sure. I don't see why not."

"Or maybe so we could go dancing."

"Well, I don't know. You girls are pretty young."

"Yeah, but it doesn't count if you don't look it."

He pulled out his wallet and produced a wad of bills.

"How much do you think-"

"Oh wow, that'd be great," said Suzy, snatching the whole wad of bills just as he was getting ready to count out a portion for them. He followed the bills in her hand as she clutched them to her ample breast.

"You think you'll need all that? There's about fifty dollars there."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to make do," said Suzy.

"Oh. Well ... okay. If you think that you're really going to need all that."

"Gee Uncle Roger, thanks. You're the greatest."

Cindy was feeling pretty guilty when they got back to the room.

"Look, did you see the way he reacted when I started hinting that he take us along? He's going to get laid tonight. If he bought himself a hooker, it'd cost a lot more than this."

Somehow, that didn't quite make sense to Cindi.