Chapter 11
Louise felt that she was at a crisis point. Sometimes she felt as though she had dreamed the past few days and would soon wake up to find that none of it was true.
Her mind was pulled in two directions. She felt a flush of pleasure and excitement when she thought of the wonderful fucking and sucking she had watched and taken part in. Her cunt got wet and her body ached to turn herself loose again.
But she was also consumed with shame. She had been raised to believe that sex was for the man to enjoy, not the woman, that it was all done in the dark, the woman on her back. She certainly wasn't supposed to find any pleasure in the act!
Well, she thought, I didn't stay on my back. I didn't even stay with my husband. I've fucked another man, and sucked his cock until he filled my mouth with cum. I've let another woman eat my pussy. And I've jacked off more times than I can count. I've watched others fucking, and I want more. But how do I square that with what I was taught and have always felt? Why can't I be like Scott and Jeannie?
When Louise called her, Jeannie agreed to come over. She sensed that Louise was having trouble. She and Scott had been swinging for several years and had helped many friends through the rough spots after their first time. And they had been helped by the couple who introduced them to swinging.
It had been easier for Scott than for Jeannie, who at first had felt that Scott could not possibly love her and still want her to fuck someone else. To her, fucking and loving were so closely tied that she couldn't conceive of one without the other. Love was sex, and vice versa.
It was a relief when she got over that feeling and could relax and enjoy fucking not only with Scott, but also with others. She understood that fucking was fun and didn't have to involve a serious commitment. There was no sneaking around, and she never worried that Scott might find a woman who pleased him more than she did.
It was all above board, and their love for each other had deepened. Their marriage was stronger. Jeannie truly liked Louise, and wanted to help her over this difficult time.
The moment Jeannie came through the front door, Louise fell into her arms.
"Oh, Jeannie," Louise sobbed, "what am I going to do? I've betrayed my marriage vows! I've done so many horrible things, and the worst part is that I enjoyed it. What's going to happen to me now?"
"There, there, darling," Jeannie said. "It's not as bad as that. Why don't you tell me what you think is so horrible, and we'll talk about it." Jeannie led Louise to the couch. She sat beside her friend, put her arm around her, and pulled her head down on her shoulder. "Just talk, darling. Say whatever you feel. Things don't look quite so bad when they're out in the open."
"Oh, Jeannie, I'm so confused! You know that I was raised in a very sheltered setting. My mother was afraid to let me date, because she thought I might get pregnant before I married. She said it wasn't that she didn't trust me, but boys were all the same. All they wanted was to get me into bed. I couldn't even ask her any questions about sex. She always told me it was a subject nice girls didn't talk about.
"You know the story. A girl had to remain a virgin until she married, and even then she could never let her husband see her in the nude. She had to lie on her back and be very still when they had sex. Mom believed sex was only to have children, but you had to let your husband do it whenever he wanted, because they're just animals anyway.
"Some of my girlfriends used to talk about sex in school. I knew they were sleeping with their boyfriends. What really confused me was that they talked like they enjoyed what they did. Some of the girls even said they sucked their boyfriends or got them to put their mouths 'down there.' I didn't even know what they were talking about then.
"Ray was raised the same way. I remember I once asked him about sucking, and he got really angry. He told me a nice girl didn't even think about such things. The only way we have ever done it is in the dark with Ray on top. I've cum only once with him, and that was right after we were married. It must have been an accident, because he never takes the time to get me ready.
"But now look what I've done! It was bad enough I bought that book and learned to play with myself and have an orgasm. Then I went to that club with you. Did you know I did it to myself when you were sucking Mr. Charles? Right there in that open room, with all those people around?
"As if that wasn't bad enough, I let Ginger suck me off in front of a whole crowd of people! Total strangers! I must be a very wicked woman. When you were sucking Mr. Charles, and when those people were on that stage, I was so excited and so confused, I didn't seem to have any control over myself.
"Wednesday I did something more awful. I let Richard, our insurance agent, fuck me. And I sucked him off. I even drank all his cum! And I liked it so much that I got on top of him and put his cock in me.
"I also went out in the garden and watched the neighbors while they fucked and sucked. I played with my pussy and frigged my clit and had so many orgasms!
"And you know what, Jeannie? They knew I was watching. When they finished, Diane stood in the door, showed me her naked body, and blew me a kiss. I liked what you and Scott did to me in the club the other night, I liked seeing those people on the stage fucking and I liked it when Ginger sucked my cunt and made me cum so much! I liked it when I sucked Richard's cock and drank his sticky juice. And I loved what you and I did yesterday.
"That's what bothers me and confuses me so much. I've enjoyed everything, but what am I going to do about Ray? How can I make him understand that I can suck and fuck him and others and still be a good wife to him?"
Louise didn't realize that she had become excited as she talked, so excited that she was rubbing the insides of her thigh, working her way up toward her pussy.
"You have to realize that everyone sees things differently, darling," Jeannie said. "Your mother had her ideas, Ray has his, and now you're trying to change yours. We should all try to find out who we really are.
"Some years ago, I was just like you. I was horrified by swinging. Scott and I almost split up over it. He wanted other women because he knew our relationship would get stale if he fucked only me. He convinced me that sex was fun and didn't have to be taken so seriously. I guess the biggest difference between you and me is that I enjoyed fucking Scott and learned how to suck his cock as part of that fucking. He had also eaten my pussy a lot and I liked that too.
"I remember the first time I went along with Scott and let another man fuck me. I was tense and scared. I thought Scott was going to think less of me because I let another man put his cock in me. The man knew it was my first time, so he was patient.
"When he saw how I was acting, he made me go with him to the bedroom where his wife and Scott were. I guess the man's wife also understood the problem. She left Scott and went to her husband, and they sucked, fucked, and did just about everything a man and woman can do. When her husband was exhausted, she went back to Scott and did the same things with him. It was fun watching her with her own husband, but my eyes got a little green when she took Scott on. "Then, as they were fucking, her husband started on me again, and before long I had his cock in my mouth and was sucking for all I was worth. That was the turning point. "Later, while the men rested, the woman went down on me. She sucked my cunt better than Scott ever had. And when she moved around until her cunt was over my face, I couldn't help myself, and my tongue was soon in her slot.
"It was the most natural thing I had ever done. Scott told me later that he got really turned on again when I did that."
Jeannie played with Louise's hair as she talked, kissing her forehead and her cheeks, darting her tongue in and out of Louise's ear.
She quietly opened the top of her dress and eased Louise's head down so that the blonde's face rested between her naked tits.
"I can't get over how beautiful you are," Louise said.
She gently moved her cheek around Jeannie's breast, teasing the nipple to erection. Jeannie smiled, arched her back, and offered Louise her tits.