Chapter 12

Carol was in a stupefied frame of mind when she went to work the next day.

She continued to think about Wayne and how terrible it had been that he had done what he had to her.

She realized that she was being used, and now it was just a question of how far things would be carried.

It made her nervous to contemplate going into Larry Gilbert's room that day, but she had to make her rounds and there was nothing else she could do about it other than to face the music.

She went to his room, finding him waiting for her, naked.

"How's my favorite nurse?" he quipped happily "Larry, it's all over," she said tightly. "Come on now, what's gotten into you?"

"I said it's all over. No more of this. None of it at all."

"Hell, we were getting along just fine. I thought you were over all this stuff."

"I'm not over anything. I recognize what a mistake we both made."

"How many more times are we going to have to debate that point?"

"We're not going to be debating it at all anymore, because as far as I'm concerned, it's a closed subject."

"Oh, have a heart."

"I do have a heart. Both for myself and for you. It's all over between us."

"But I really dug those acts, and so did you. I don't think you can run away from yourself. You dig me in a big way and you know it."

"Yes, I did dig you in a big way, but I realize what a costly experience that was. For that reason, I'm not going to carry it any further."

"Ah, come on."

"I mean it."

She washed his body, then prepared to leave the room.

"Come here, darling, let's have a little action," he said, reaching down and pointing toward his erect penis.

"You heard my answer."

"You owe me some kind of explanation," he said tightly. "After all the fun we had together, you certainly should come clean and tell me why you are doing this to me. You know, I'm going to be going home tomorrow. I wasn't planning to tell you that till later. But that's the big reason why I'd like to have sex with you just one more time."

Now she felt like crawling under a table somewhere. She felt humiliated. He had given her more pleasure than she had ever experienced with another man. Now he wanted just one more sex experience with her, but she was denying him that opportunity.

As she stood there between his bed and the doorway, she thought about whether she should discuss the matter in its entirety with him. He more than likely wasn't aware of what some of the interns and nurses in the hospital knew about them.

She had wanted to just end things abruptly, without relating the details to him. But now she was beginning to feel that she at least owed him a complete explanation.

"I guess maybe I should tell you a few things," she said. "I imagine you haven't heard."

"About what?"

"About us."

"What was there to hear?"

"Word has been going around."

"How did anybody find out?" he looked at her with astonishment.

"Do you remember when they wheeled you into the operating room the other day to find out if there was anything wrong with you?"

"I don't remember too much. They gave me a shot of that sodium pentothal and that knocked me out."

"But you did some talking before you went to sleep."

"Did I really?"

"You did," she nodded. "You told all about us. And Dr. Ames, of all people, heard all about it."

"Yeah, he seemed like a pretty nice guy," Larry said. "A little bit of a smart aleck, but he seemed to know what he's doing."

"Well, he's anything but a nice guy," she told him sadly. "It's terrible, because now it's all come to the fore. Everybody knows about everything."

"Everybody?"

"Well, my guess is that practically everybody does. A whole lot of people are aware of what has been going on. It's terrible, downright terrible."

"Gosh, and I'm the one to open my big mouth?"

"Yes, but I can't blame you. You didn't know you were doing it."

"I guess not. I can't remember anything from the time that that guy stuck the needle in me."

"Of course you can't."

"Oh, I just don't know what to say."

"There's nothing to say. You didn't do anything intentionally."

"No, I never would do anything to hurt you," Larry said sadly.

Now she noticed a few tears rolling down his face.

"I'm sorry, baby, very sorry. I don't know how I could ever make it up to you, Carol."

"Forget it," Carol said. "It's just something I've got to learn to live with. As I said, it wasn't your fault, it wasn't your fault at all. It's just too bad that things had to happen that way. It's almost as if things are just inevitably bound to occur in a certain manner. The longer I live, the more fatalistic I became."

"I was really hoping that we could bow out our relationship beautifully," he said. "I mean by having sex this last time."

"I'm afraid I'll have to pass."

"Sure, I understand."

"I have enjoyed dealing with you though, Larry. It's just a pity that we didn't meet under other circumstances."

"I know. But it's nice that we did get a chance to meet and have sex."

"I guess we both learned a lot from the experience."

"I know that I certainly did."

"That's good. You're certainly more of a man than the doctors round here are."

"Gee, that's nice of you to say."

"And on top of that, you're a lot more decent a person."

"Thank you, Carol. Can you do one thing for me?"

"What's that?"

"Just give me a little kiss."

"I'm a little reluctant to do that."

"Why?"

"I'm just afraid that you're going to get carried away if I do that."

"No, I won't. I'll practice willpower."

"You're sure about that?"

"Positive."

"Alright, then I'll do that for you. You have been an absolute dear."

"I'd really appreciate it if you'd do that for me."

"O.K., darling."

As she moved toward him, Carol recognized that she was just as fearful about herself get ting carried away as she was concerning him.

She leaned forward and delivered a kiss to his lips. She was overcome by fear as she did it, but did manage to pull her lips away from his. It was a difficult thing to do. She would have liked to have kissed him for a lengthy period of time and to have had sex with him once more. But she couldn't afford to risk it. Not after all that had occurred.

She turned and walked toward the door.

"Goodbye, Larry, and good luck," she said.

"Goodbye, Carol. I'll miss you."

"And I'll miss you."

She then closed the door behind her, walking down the hall.

As she walked down the hall, she observed one of the interns, Dave Phillips, walking in the other direction.

"Hello there, Carol," he smiled.

Carol couldn't stand Dave. He was a friend of Wayne's, and acted very much like him. He too, thought that he was God's gift to women.

"Hello, Dave," she said cautiously.

"I see where this hospital's most gorgeous nurse has just come from her favorite patient's room."

"What do you mean? I don't have any favorite patients. I don't believe in such favoritism."

"In one respect you do," he chuckled. "How do you mean?"

I

"When it comes to bedroom action. Young Larry Gilbert must really have something, to turn you on the way that he does."

"You've got a dirty mind, Dave."

"Not a dirty mind, baby, a sexy mind," he laughed. "I'd just like to be where Larry boy is. What's he got that I don't have?"

"For one thing, he's a nice person," she said angrily. "But beyond that I'm not answering a' thing."

"I guess not," he chuckled. "It would incriminate you to answer, wouldn't it?"

"You're always running off at the mouth."

"Oh, I run off a lot better at the cock. Especially when I shoot."

"You've got a one-track mind."

"I know, it's on the right track. Sex, baby, that's what it's all about."

"So I hear from you about every time you open your mouth."

"Can you think of a better topic? As a matter-of-fact, can you think of any other topic?"

"Yes, I can. Like doing my job. Now I wish you'd excuse me."

"Just like you did your job with Larry Gilbert, eh?" he chuckled.

"Please get off my back, Dave. I'll take back what I said before, so please get off my back."

"Oh, you really slay me. Now you're starting to sound desperate. And all because I happen to be privy to a little bit of information. My, oh my, how things can change."

"You have to be so mean? Do you always have to be breathing down my neck ?"

"I dig you, baby, and I often get the feeling that you don't feel the same way."

"I just wish you would let up a little."

"What the hell's the fun of letting up?" he laughed. "You're a gorgeous chick, and I ought to be getting a little action myself, just like Larry Gilbert."

"Can't you please leave Larry out of this?"

"You certainly didn't leave him out of things."

"Will you just stop talking about him?"

"Why, did you bang him again today?"

"You're disgusting. I have more important things to do than to talk to you."

"You'll be seeing a lot more of me around here, honey," Dave said, laughing as he walked away.

"I certainly hope not."

"You will."

"I consider that more of a threat than a promise."

"Consider it what you want. I'm just telling you that you'll be seeing a whole lot more of me."

Now she was feeling totally shattered. Dave Phillips also knew about her affair with Larry Gilbert.

She thought about Wayne Ames. Naturally Dave would have found out from him. She couldn't help but wonder just how many people Wayne had told.

The rest of that day she felt unsure of herself. She felt relieved about one thing, however, at the time that the day ended. She at least hadn't encountered Wayne Ames. She hoped that she never would, but knew very well that that would not be the case.

The next day was an extremely rough one. She was taking care of a patient in another room when she observed Larry Gilbert walking past.

The door was open and he observed her from outside. He stopped and waved.

"Goodbye," Larry said, in a voice choked with emotion.

"Be good now, Larry," she smiled.

"I will. And you take care of yourself."

"I'll do that," she nodded.

Once she finished taking care of the patient, she left the room feeling sadder than ever.

Now that Larry was gone, she felt like the loneliest person in the hospital. She had the lonely feeling, despite the fact that all eyes were focused on her.

She went into the cafeteria to have lunch. She deliberately sat by herself, even though she recognized a few familiar faces in the room.

She kept wondering just when Wayne Ames would make his move again. He had told her in no uncertain terms that he would be entering her life in a way that would please him. He intended to become a dominant personality in her life, and didn't really care what she thought about it.

If ever a person felt trapped, Carol did at that particular moment.