Chapter 2
Jenny, back at the hotel, took her time unpacking, even taking time out for a good hot shower and a long leisurely brushing of her hair. She stood in front of the mirror and asked herself what girl could be more happy? Here she was, on a first-class European honeymoon, with a man that was successful, respected, and handsome. He was, by any standards, a catch.
Why, then, wasn't she completely happy. In truth, she was happy for these few minutes alone, this chance to freshen up and take the time to think. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was beautiful, with a figure that some times caused her embarrassment when men turned to look at her or gave her a vulgar wolf-whistle. She had been a virgin up until Fred had taken her and it had been the most intense and important night of her life. Jenny had a secret: ever since puberty, Jenny had been obsessed with lust. Constantly, as a teen-ager, she had been bothered by carnal dreams, wild dreams of hot flesh and electrifying thrills, dim wanton memories of wild hairy men doing unspeakable yet thrilling things to her.
Her state became so agitated, she finally went to see a physician in a strange city and, after much beating-around-the-bush, she tearfully blurted out her feelings and desires. The doctor had seemed embarrassed but kindly. He talked to her for a long time in a soothing voice, reassuring her, telling her that what she was feeling was quite normal and a stage that most young girls go through. In that one respect, he lied, for he had never had a patient with the intensity or sensuality that Jenny exhibited. He told her that her feelings would change once she got married, that everything would be all right. Yet, when she was gone, he shook his head sadly and told himself that, up until his interview with Jenny, he had never met a latent nymphomaniac.
A simple and uncomplicated soul, Jenny had plenty of old-fashioned character. She believed the words of the doctor for the simple reason that he was a doctor, a medical man, and he knew better than she. It would all change when she got married. And that slogan, that phrase, hung in her mind and became her battle cry through many a trying night and day with her dates trying to seduce her.
When she met Fred, he became her savior. It would all change, she would reach a satisfac-tion, she would feel different, she would relax, she would not be thinking of sex constantly, she would be happy and fulfilled. She guarded herself carefully during their courtship and engagement, put her thoughts in a maximum security cell in her mind. Everything; sights, scents, touches, was erotic to her and, if Fred had ever pushed, she would have helplessly fallen into his arms.
Whenever girls got together and talked about sex, Jenny felt herself driven wild by their descriptions and had to get up and leave or change the conversation. Later, at night, in bed, alone, _ she would toss and turn, staring at the dark ceiling, fighting to keep her hands off her body.
Once, after work, she had stopped in a new chain drugstore to shop for soap and cosmetics and had wandered by the magazine rack. She stopped as if she had run into an invisible wall. Nudist magazines were on display! Her greedy eyes ran over the covers and she walked away with a fire deep in her buttocks. She had made several purchases then stalled for time, pretending to browse in the nearby paperback racks. When business slowed and no one was near the magazines, she wandered over, picked up a Life magazine and leafed through it, then, quickly, she picked up a nudist magazine and sped through it, putting it down as if it were a bomb and hurrying home with enough dreams for a month.
Then, after all the waiting, after all the time of agony, it was finally Paris and the night when everything would change.
And, of course, it didn't change. The first time, it hurt, and, more importantly, it didn't change anything. It was all too brief, too hurried, in the dark, and, just as the flames of lubricity and wantonness were roaring up in her and pleasure began searing through her body, it was all over, done with, and the craving was worse than before!
After the last time they had made love, Jenny had felt like crying out of rage and despair. It would never be different! It only seemed to be getting worse!
And, like most young, relatively innocent people, she blamed herself rather than Fred or their mutual inexperience or guilt feelings. Jenny felt that there was nothing to do but endure it, be a good wife, hope, that in time, her feelings would change.
She dressed in a pretty dress and went down to the lobby and to the bar. Fred was nowhere in sight. She went back to the desk and asked about her husband. The clerk smiled, "He left about an hour ago, ma'am."
Jenny thanked him and went back to the bar' and sat at a table, vaguely worried. Where had he gone to? She reassured herself he went on some errand, some simple errand and would be straight back. Still, she didn't like being left alone in a strange country with a language that sounded as if they were all swallowing their words. She ordered a soft drink from the bartender and sat, trying to act poised, until Fred should come back.
She couldn't help noticing the men in the bar and the way they all were looking at her. A handsome young man in a corduroy jacket with leather elbow patches smiled at her and got up and sauntered over with his drink. He bowed slightly by her table. "Pardon me, are you American?"
"Why, yes," Jenny laughed, wondering if she looked that obviously American and slightly flattered to be one.
"May I sit down?" the man asked, seating himself and smiling at her charmingly.
Nervous, Jenny put her hand to her neck. "Well, you see, I'm waiting for my husband."
"Oh?" The young man cocked one eyebrow but did not move.
"Well," Jenny gave a nervous little laugh, "I don't think he would like it."
"Like what?" the young man said sardonically.
"Your sitting here. What made you sit here? I mean ..." Jenny flushed as she felt that craving coming on stronger than ever before. "What I mean is, just what do you think I am?" she asked, adopting a hurt defensive tone.
The young man looked at her for a few seconds, chuckling silently. "What did you look like?" he asked. He got slowly to his feet and smiled down at her. "You looked like a beautiful desirable woman I thought I'd like to meet, get to know, and make love to." He waved idle fingers at her and walked off, smiling, back to the bar.
Jenny sat as if shot through the heart. She could barely catch her breath. No one had ever talked to her that way before! She longed for Fred to come into the bar and save her from the attractive man who was now toasting her at the bar. She found she couldn't take her eyes off him. If only Fred would come into the bar, talk to her, say what that stranger had said and they could go up to their room and make love all the rest of the afternoon. All of the rest of the day and night!
She felt dizzy and put her hands to her eyes, visions of her nightmares blending with the young man at the bar. She thought she was going to faint, that she would have to cry out for help and fall to the floor when a voice said, "Honey! Here you are!"
Fred was sitting down, all smiles, out of breath and his face flushed. "Did you have to wait long?" he asked, seizing her hands and squeezing them.
Jenny laughed, relieved. "Where have you been? I was beginning to get worried."
Fred grinned. "I got lost," he said sheepishly, amazed at how well he lied. "I was told about this guide who spoke English and was real good and I went out to find him and got lost. I've been wandering all over."
"Why didn't you take a cab?"
"I finally did," Fred lied, sailing on beautifully. "But, you know me. I was determined not to give up. I was going to find my way back no matter what. When I saw what time it was getting to be, I hailed a cab. What are you drinking?"
They chatted on, with Fred ordering a martini and the young man turning away at the bar, looking for other girls. Jenny was happy to see Fred because he distracted her from what the young man had said. No one had ever talked that directly or honestly to her before. It was still on her mind, and she talked rapidly and animatedly for some time. They agreed they would spend the rest of the day in the Tivoli Gardens.
And they did just that, having a late lunch and walking through the gardens and enjoying the amusements. Jenny had never seen Fred so excited or talkative. He told her about the guide he had found. His name was Arne and he had a girl friend by the name of Sigrid Unser and that Arne really knew the night life of Copenhagen and, for a modest price, would act as their escort. Jenny agreed, delighted with Fred's light-hearted and energetic mood. Getting lost and walking in Copenhagen must be good for you. You act so full of pep."
Fred, still imbued with the feeling of being naughty, of doing something wrong and getting away with it, still carrying a vestige of his wild reckless feeling, "I think it could be quite a night, I really do."
It is typical of so many people brought up as middle-class Americans that think their thoughts of lewdness and sensuality extend to themselves. Never, does it seem to occur to them that others might feel the same way they do. As a consequence, so many people walk around harboring a dirty guilty secret. So many lives are needlessly hurt or destroyed, so much time wasted by people feeling guilty and repressing their feelings and desires.
So it was with Fred and Jenny Morrison. If they had only been honest with one another, if only they had found the opportunity or courage to admit their stories to each other, they would have saved themselves a great deal of trouble.
How contrived, one must say to himself, how unreal that two people, married, should not, sooner or later, confide in one another. And, one who thought that way would be right. It is conceited to think that only a select few, intelligent and worldly enough, confide in one another. It is more real, and human to say that everyone, sooner or later, confides in another human being. When people are in love, such as Fred and Jenny, it is almost inevitable that it will happen. It is a very important part of being in love.
Fred was happy with himself, as they strolled through the gardens, that he was already beginning to confide in Jenny; that he had, in effect, already told her about Arne and Sigrid. Especially Sigrid. He had told her about them, judiciously omitting a few details. But, in time, he would tell her all.
But, he had to get both of them drunk before he had the courage to tell her enough.
Fred picked out one of the best restaurants in town, an old restaurant with heavy wooden beams, candlelight, and panelled walls. They sat in a booth, against cushioned leather and toasted each other. The drink was aquavit and Fred was instructing Jenny how to drink it: in one searing gulp.
His mood was happy and wisecracking and the mood was infectious, for Jenny found herself happy and full of talk as Fred ordered still another round. After they had had three drinks and Fred could see a giddy look in Jenny's eyes. It didn't take much with her, but, to be safe, he ordered another round.
"You wouldn't believe the things I saw today," he began casually.
"What?" Jenny asked, smiling bleary and sweet.
Fred grinned and looked down at the table. "Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you."
"What? Why?" Jenny was immediately curious.
Fred waved a hand. "No, I'm sorry I brought it up."
"Fred?" Jenny pleaded, "you tell me."
"Look, I am sorry I brought it up."
Jenny slapped her palms down on the table, laughing. "Fred Morrison, that's not fair!"
Fred winked at her. "I never said I would be fair, only love and honor you."
"Well, you'd just better honor me this minute and tell me everything or else."
Fred grinned at her. "Or else what?"
Jenny looked impish, her chin tucked in. "Two can play the same game, remember?"
Fred snorted. "You're safe."
Jenny made a small "O" out of her mouth and arched her eyebrows. "Am I? Well, in that case I won't tell you what happened in the bar while I was waiting for you."
They looked at each other and burst out laughing. The aquavit was taking increasing effect and Jenny felt her limbs grow heavy and lazy. It was such a pleasant feeling, feeling slightly drunk and having the conversation allude to illicit things. Fred waved his hand. "Okay, I'll tell you what I saw today. I was trying to find my way to this address, see, this Arne guide-character. Well, I was going down this street and I walked past a bookstore and looked in the window and did a double take. Let me tell you, I couldn't believe my eyes. I'd heard about it but had forgotten all about it until I looked in that window."
Jenny leaned closer, her voice dropping. It was as if she knew, by instinct what Fred was going to say. It was in his voice, his manner, in the very air around them, pulsating, at this moment, in her loins. "What did you see?"
Fred grinned at her tor a long time before he quietly said, "Pornography. I forgot. There are no laws against pornography in Denmark. Anything goes and ... brother!"
Jenny licked her iips and tried to focus her eyes. Fred was handing her still another drink. "What did you see?"
"Everything."
"Everything?"
Fred nodded and there was a pause as Jenny seemed to look off, thinking to herself. "Tell me about it."
"Well, it was pretty raw."
"Teli me."
"In detail?"
"Yes, tell me everything."
"Well, I don't know if I should, it's all pretty real and raw."
Jenny looked at him with half-open eyes.
"Please tell me?"
Fred started, not looking at her. "Well, they've got all kinds of magazines," he lied, "And all kinds of nude shots of men and women naked."
"Together?" Jenny breathed.
"Some of them. Some of them are alone, some in groups."
"Groups?"
"Yeah, groups. Five, six people all together."
"Men and women? Naked?"
"Yeah, on beds and on the floor."
Fred went on talking but Jenny found herself incapable of listening. Rather, it was as if she had suddenly transported somewhere far off and could only hear the babble of Fred's voice through some faulty transmitter. Groups! Men and women together, all of them naked! It was as if a new world had opened before Jenny's innocent and unbelieving eyes. Groups! People doing all sorts of things to one another; things ordinarily never thought of, or, if thought at all, it was in the dark while Fred made love to her. Wild, half-formed thoughts or ... dreams! To her alcohol befuddled mind, it was exactly as if Fred were telling her that her dreams existed in reality; that she dreamt things that had actually happened. She closed her eyes for a moment while her imagination reeled and ka-leidoscoped with images of hot sweating bodies swarming, writhing, turning. Men turning to attack her sexually, sending electric thrills up and down her spine, twisting and turning her.
"And that's not all," Fred's voice said.
"What's not all?" Jenny asked, snapping back to listen to his voice.
"There's more," Fred said with a self-satisfied smirk.
"Oh," Jenny said, rubbing her eyes and looking down at the table. She tried to focus her eyes, seeing still another drink of aquavit being placed in front of her. How many is that, she wondered. With an effort, she tried to gather her thoughts. "Did you look at many of the books?" she asked, turning back to Fred who looked so handsome, so sexual, in a blurred way.
"Oh, just a few. Enough to get an idea of what goes on. But it isn't the magazines I wanted to tell you about."
"What?" Jenny asked, bending close. She was trying to listen while forming a plan in her mind to get Fred to do to her what was done to the girls in the magazines.
"Well, I told you I was looking for this guide named Arne something-or-other. So I asked the owner of the store and he says he's down the street in another store and so I go to it..." Fred's voice trailed off and he said, "I don't know if I should tell you this part."
"Fred!" Jenny said, nudging him with her elbow and almost growling, "Come on, tell!"
"Well, it was a store and, I went in."
"Is that all?"
"No. There's more."
"Well, goon!"
"Well, it was just a store with a counter. A very little store with no shelves, no merchandise, just a counter. There was a girl behind the counter."
Jenny caught her breath. "A prostitute."
Fred shook his head. "No. I thought that too. I asked for Arne and she said he wasn't there, but he would be back in about an hour if I cared to wait."
"Did you? Jenny asked, suddenly wary, her excitement turning to apprehension. What would she do if he got involved with another woman?
Fred laughed and rubbed his hands together, delighted in the easy way he lied, never before realizing he had such a handy talent. "That's what seemed so funny. Wait where? There wasn't even a chair to sit on. All we could do was stand and look at one another. Then this girl tells me that I was standing in a movie theatre and the movie was on now and did I want to see it?"
"Was she pretty?" Jenny asked, trying to hide her jealousy.
"She sure was. Her name is Sigrid Unser and she's a friend of Arne's," Fred said with a Cheshire cat grin.
"Did she make a play for you?"
"All she was doing was being nice. And selling tickets. I didn't know of any place nearby where I could kill some time unless it was that bookshop, so I bought a ticket and left word that if Arne were to come in, she would come notify me. So I went in."
Jenny, her apprehension vanishing, leaned forward still further and saw Fred glance down her dress at the cleavage she was showing. "What was the movie about?"
Fred rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I didn't know what I was getting into. They were movies of * man and a woman."
Jenny felt her breath hot through her nostrils. "What were they doing?"
Fred ordered still another round of drinks and, after the waiter had served them and backed away, they put their heads together and Fred began talking. He told her, in lurid detail, in four-letter English that only served to excite Jenny all the more. She had heard, "Fuck!" yelled in the streets, had seen graffiti scrawled on walls, but never before had she heard the word uttered low, softly, not as a swear word, but as a lewd, lustfully wet word used to describe something sensual and wicked. He told her every detail of the movie, describing each detail, omitting the part about Sigrid and the way she had toyed with his penis.
When he was through, there was silence between them and Fred slowly straightened and ordered dinner.
They ate in silence with Jenny once, suddenly, putting down her knife and fork and asking, "How can people live like that?"
Fred cut his beef. "I dunno."
"I mean, what must they be like? What must they believe in?"
Again, Fred said, "I dunno."
They ate their dessert and drank their coffee in silence, Fred pretending to admire the dining room while Jenny spent time looking in her hand mirror. The bill was paid and a tip left and Fred was holding the back of her chair as Jenny got up. She turned to him suddenly. "I'd like to see those movies."
Fred acted surprised. "Oh, no, not you."
"Why not?" Jenny asked, just the edge of belligerence in her voice, finding the aquavit made her bold.
"Well, I'm not even sure they will allow women in to see them. I dunno."
"Why not?" Jenny asked again, grinning now as they made their way through the tables. "Pornography is legal, remember?"
"Yeah, but..." Fred's voice trailed off.
They were standing on the curb now and Jenny was pretending to be hurt; did, in fact, feel the slight edge of resentment. "Oh? All right. Okay. It's perfectly all right for you to see them. Is that it? Are we going to go through life with a double standard? What's good for you is bad for me. Is that it?"
"Come on," Fred said, "I told you I got into that movie more or less by accident."
Jenny took a deep breath. "Well, would you want to see them again?"
Fred scratched his head. "Well, I suppose so."
"Then there's no reason in the world why you shouldn't take me." She gently touched his arm. "This is probably the only chance we'll ever have to see something like this."
Fred rubbed his chin and nodded. 'That's true."
"It's something we'll never do again," Jenny added.
Fred looked at her, squinting one eye. "You know what you're getting into?"
"You told me. I want to see it. If it gets too bad, we can always leave."
"That's true." He looked at her and laughed.
"Why not? Why not have a little fun? After all, it will be just this once. I'm game if you are."
Jenny nodded and he hailed a cab and they sped off to the theatre, Fred giving the driver the address. They didn't know it, but they were never going to see the movie and, the events that were to happen to them in the next six hours were going to change their entire feeling about the world around them.