Chapter 12

Hours later, Gwen felt the Inevitable reaction. Her senses were fuby satisfied and her body soothed. Now her mind began to raise questions and doubts. Her conscience scolded her sternly.

"I can't go on like this!" she told herself. "I know this is wrong. But if I stay here, it will keep on happening. I have to leave. We have to leave."

She faced that idea soberly. Try as she would, she could not find any other solution. She and Pete were being tempted beyond then strength. The only thing they could do was to remove themselves from temptation.

It was an expensive experience, Gwen realized. Pete would probably take a loss on the house. But this move must be made.

When Pete came home, she gave him his dinner first, diplomatically. He was uneasy all through dinner, waiting for her anger to burst forth again.

Gwen left the dishes and followed Pete into the living room. He had picked up the newspaper already. He glared at her around the paper.

"I suppose you mean to give me the devil again," he growled.

She sat down in the big chair. Her hands were trembling; she clasped them together.

"Pete, we must talk about this," she began quietly. "Please put the paper down."

He flung it down. His face was flushed, his black eyes glittered. "Don't ask me to give up Karen. She's willing, and we aren't hurting anybody. It's just between us," he said belligerently.

"It hurts me," she answered.

"Oh, it does not! You had great fun with Don and Larry!"

She could have added, "And with Isobel!" but she didn't dare.

"This isn't the life we wanted, Pete. It really isn't. Remember our plans? We we said we wanted a baby soon, and then several more." She blushed, but kept on gravely. "I'm afraid this-this neighborhood isn't right for children. Why, there isn't a school for two miles. I thought-"

"A school! For gosh sakes, Gwen, what's wrong with you? We don't have even one child yet! We won't need a school nearby for years!" Here was something real he could complain about, and he made the most of it. "You worry about the darndest things! A school yet! My gosh!"

"I mean it, Pete. This isn't the right neighborhood to bring up a child. I I think we should move back to town."

"To town!" he yelped, as though she had said to the moon. "To town! You've flipped your lid! We talked about this. We said we wanted to live in the suburbs where you could breathe fresh all, see grass, all that stuff. We aren't here a month, and you want to move back to town!"

"Pete, listen," she begged earnestly, her hands clenching each other so tightly that they hurt. "The atmosphere isn't wholesome. The people here the parties getting drunk having relations with each other I don't want to raise a baby in-"

"Now, you wait!" He raised his hand. He was red, but in earnest also. "I've been meaning to talk to you about this. I guess now is as good a time as any. I don't think we should have kids."

"What?" Gwen screamed, horrified.

"I mean not now!" he added hastily. "Kids are for later. We're young, we deserve some fun. Kids tie a guy down; they would tie you down, too. You don't realize how much you'd be tied down. We should wait and have kids later."

She stared at him. Her brain whirled dizzily. "Oh Pete-" she whispered, sick at heart.

These weren't his ideas. She could practically hear Karen's voice as he spoke.

"We've got plenty of time," he went on. "People deserve fun in life. Later on there'll be plenty of time to have kids."

"How much later?" she forced herself to ask.

"Oh-" He shrugged. "Maybe five years or ten even. When we're settled. Kids are expensive, you know. We have the house to pay for-"

"Five or ten years-"

He didn't seem to hear her whisper.

"And the furniture. We haven't bought all the furniture yet. And Larry's been telling me about what kind of car to buy."

"Car-" she repeated stupidly.

His eyes were gleaming with dreams she could not share.

"Yep. Larry told me how people judge a man by his car. Now when I go out to sell a man a big insurance policy, how does it look if I show up in a cheap car? It labels me cheap right away. The right car means more sales, big sales. A man has to think big."

She stared at him, overwhelmed. The house was so expensive, the furniture not nearly paid for. And he was talking about a big new high-priced car! She could not think of the words to express how she felt.

He was in Karen's silken trap. Karen and Larry were formidable opponents, thought Gwen helplessly. She didn't even know the words to begin to refute what they had told Pete.

Her father had had a horror of debt. She remembered the stories he had told her of men who had bought on credit, mortgaged all they had, couldn't meet payments and lost everything. "Better to buy less, and be able to pay for it," he had said over and over.

"Pete, we can't can't afford-" she began feebly.

"Now, you let me worry about that," he said grandly. He rustled the paper to indicate he had other things to think about. "I'll handle the finances. You can help me, though."

"How?"

"Be nice to Larry and the gang. They like you. They accept both of us. Since we're in good with the gang, we can go right up to the top."

"Oh, Pete, it's wrong to-"

"Larry's advising me. I'm in good with him," Pete rushed on, unheeding. "He-likes me. I'm in line for promotion soon. This can be the job of a lifetime, honey, if you'll just help and not hinder."

"I don't want to hinder, but-"

"Then don't!" he said harshly. He flung down the paper. "Don't tell me all your doubts and squeamish little pruderies! Help me! Don't stand in my way!"

As he gazed at his stormy face, the words came involuntarily. "Pete, do you really want me to make love with Larry to get you a promotion?"

He glared at her, his dark eyes horrified. In plain English, the idea was even worse than in her mind. She waited tensely for his answer.

"It isn't that way! It isn't that way at all!" he cried. He stormed out of the house. She heard the car start a moment later. He drove away.

He didn't return for hours. She finally went to bed, and lay awake until she heard the car. She rolled over to look at the clock. Ten past two. She sighed deeply, and some of the tension left her body.

Pete stumbled around in the darkness downstairs. She heard the thumps as he hit chairs. Was he drunk? She heard the flushing of the toilet downstairs, the small sounds that meant he was undressing. His shoes fell to the floor. The couch creaked. He was sleeping downstairs again.

She lay awake till finally the need for sleep overcame her, then she slept heavily. This lovely house was becoming a prison, a luxurious prison from which she longed to escape.

But if she left now, she had a feeling it would be without Pete. Pete was comfortably settled in Karen's flesh-trap. He couldn't see anything wrong with this way of life, especially since it fitted in so well with his masculine hunger for Karen.