Chapter 2
"I don't care Sheila," Tammy said shaking her head. "Clark's not my slave. If he wants to fuck someone else it's up to him."
What if that someone else is me, she thought.
"But wouldn't you get jealous of that other person if you found out?" she asked. Tammy looked slightly scornful.
"Look," she said. "Whoever he fucks doesn't take anything away from me. Anyway, I'm certainly not going to keep him with me if he wants to fuck other people, just by my being jealous. All jealousy ever did was make people miserable."
Sheila couldn't think of anything to say to refute her but she felt very unconvinced.
"What if you came home and found him in bed with someone?" Sheila said with an air of prosecuting attorney.
"Ah ha!" Tammy laughed. "It's the old 'would you let someone rape your wife?' question!" She shook her head looking at the floor.
"It depends who it was," Tammy said after a pause. "Maybe I'd just jump right in with them."
Sheila wasn't expecting that one. Her eyes widened and she stared in desbelief. "Have you ever done that?" she asked breathlessly.
Tammy tired to look nonchalant. She nodded and looked a little self-satisfied. Sheila was truly amazed.
"You mean you're a lesbian?" Sheila said.
"Well I've made it with chicks if that's what you mean. I've made it with chicks with and without guys. The more the merrier."
Sheila's head was spinning. She was afraid but she didn't know what of. Her belly turned with strange feelings which she didn't want to admit. Her words formed without her really wanting them to.
"What if you came home and found me in bed with Clark?"
"I'd hop right in of course," Tammy said. "You know I like you." She leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. Sheila pulled away reflexively.
"That's okay," Tammy said. "I didn't mean to make you uptight. How come you're asking me all this? Did you make it with Clark already?"
Sheila blushed again and Tammy looked not at all hurt. "What are you blushing for?" He's pretty good in bed isn't he?" she said.
"You mean you're really not jealous?" she asked.
"I told you I wasn't," she said. "You better stop asking me before I decide to be. Why don't you relax and just be cool?"
Sheila leaned back on the couch and laughed. "What if my parents found out I was living with a disgusting pervert like you. Boy would they be surprised at what happened to cute little Tammy Breen."
"That's the trouble with you, Sheila," Tammy said. "You worry too much about what your parents will say. You're a big girl now. You can do what you want."
"Yeah," Sheila said as if justifying something she had been thinking on her own. "I am a big girl."
It wasn't hard for Sheila to imagine, as she was sitting there, how she wanted her life to be different. It was so easy with Tammy next to her talking.
Her old friend weaved a spell around the both of them which made everything possible and all the unmentionable things Sheila had been thinking over the years came bubbling up in her brain.
"There are so many things I want to do," Sheila said. "I've always been too afraid to do any of that stuff but that's not because I don't want to do it. I do. I really do."
Tammy looked interested. "Like what kind of stuff?" she asked.
Sheila blushed a little again. "Well you know. like I want to smoke pot. I never did that. I want to take LSD and see what that's like. Clark was the first boy I ever made it with. I want to make it with lots of other people. I'm really a horny bastard!" She giggled at this and Tammy went over to a drawer at the desk and pulled out some grass and a package of rolling papers.
"No time like the present," Tammy said, taking pinches of the grass from the plastic bag and rolling a thick joint. In another minute it was lit and they were taking long deep drags from it.
Tammy taught her how to inhale all the way and hold the smoke way down inside. She taught her how to let a little air in around her lips as she was taking in the smoke so as not to burn her lips.
But Sheila took to it naturally and in another few minutes she had a shit-eating grin on her face and her head was going from side to side as she shook it in wonder at the light feeling which made her head float up above where it usually was.
"Oh, Wow!! " she exclaimed seeing everything sharper and somehow more real than she had before she toked up. "I can feel everything," she said swaying her body back and forth like a tree in the wind.
She stuck her arm straight up in the air and held it there moving her hand like the fins of a fish and feeling each muscle pull as her weight shifted ever so slightly.
"This is good stuff," Tammy said after what seemed like an eternity. Sheila wanted to say something but the words seemed to be trapped way down inside and the harder she tried to get them out the more they got tumbled up.
Like they were coming up through a labyrinth, distant and turning over on themselves as they rolled, she could hear them and even feel them but they didn't reach her lips.
Then, long after she thought they were trapped down there forever, they came bursting from her lips as if they were superheated steam, not words. Up and out as if they had a life of their own, they exploded.
"I can feel EVERYTHING!" Sheila said. She rubbed her hands over her shiny blouse and sat up tall on the couch taking a deep breath. She threw her head back and filled her lungs again. Each time she did, the world got sharper and sharper.
She felt her body, in all its tensions and yearnings. She knew where everything was and where everything should be.
Tammy's hand on her shoulder was like a burst of light in a pitch dark room. She gasped and turned toward her in fright. But Tammy smiled and rubbed gently.
Sheila relaxed and leaned back against the couch. "If you think this feel is great," Tammy said, "you should try balling when you're stoned. That's really a trip."
Sheila nodded her head vigorously as if she knew. But she could only imagine for the present. "Maybe sometime we can get Clark stoned and I'll show you what I mean."
"You really aren't jealous are you Tammy?" Sheila said, the question coming out in all amazed honesty now that she was completely stoned. The grass seemed to make it absolutely unnecessary to hide anything.
It was hard enough to talk anyways with the hazy green taste in her brain. It was like a sweet green oil over everything. Setting up all the complicated nets and baffles she was used to using when she talked was impossible and after a while even silly. It got to be like carrying an umbrella in a rain forest. After a while there was nothing to do but get wet.
So Sheila stared at Tammy amazed and really turned on. It was really possible that she and Tammy could ball Clark together! She felt her belly tighten with anticipation and she moved closer to Tammy.
"Do you think he'd do it?" she asked. "I mean is he into that kind of stuff."
"Clark's into anything that feels good," Tammy said emphatically.
So am I, Sheila thought. The green fog made it so easy to forget her shame and her ideas of what was right and wrong. Her parents were so far away and that was what she wanted to do. Who was there to tell her she shouldn't do it?
"You know," Sheila said after a long silence, "I was sort of hoping that something like this would happen. I mean that's really why I wanted to live with you and not in the dormitory. It was such a drag living there when I went to Parksburg. I felt like such a drip!"
Tammy was rolling another joint and when it was done she lit it. Back and forth they passed it and they both got completely ripped. Long into the night they talked and laughed falling over each other.
Sheila had never felt so close to anyone in her whole life. Everything she thought she said, no nothing, could shock Tammy. Everything she had thought of doing Tammy had done. All kinds of sex and drugs were old hat to her. Sheila felt a little boring in comparison but also completely unashamed.
That night Sheila let it all hang out. She told Tammy all her desires and found they were prosaic everyday lusts to fuck and have a good time. It was like a cool plunge in the pool of a waterfall to spill the load of secrets she had been hoarding all these years.
"I don't even know if I want to be a doctor," Sheila said leaning her head all the way back on the couch and staring up toward the ceiling. "I mean all that work for so many years is going to be such a drag. What for? I'd rather just ball and have a good time."
She stretched her arms over her head and her legs over the armrest of the sofa. She felt the blood surging through her body as she stretched like a just awakened cat. She twisted her belly and yawned a long satisfied yawn. "Who cares about anything when you can feel this good just lying here?" she said.
Sheila fell asleep on the couch and Tammy threw a quilt over her. She slept like a drowned rat and woke in the morning more stoned than alert.
Oh, I don't feel like doing anything, she thought stretching on the couch and watching the sun move along the floor. She had already missed two classes but it didn't matter.
She put on some very ethereal guitar and flute music and made herself some tea. If there had been anyone there she wouldn't have felt like talking to them anyway. As it was, Tammy was nowhere around.
She just sat in the kitchen staring out the window at the tree. It was a bright cool morning and she could hear birds.
"Very peaceful," she said aloud. I have nothing to worry about she thought as she sat sipping on the tea the rest of the morning and reading this and that from Tammy's bookshelf. It was so quiet that her footsteps seemed to be leaves on the surface of a pond falling and she could hear them one by one.
When Tammy came back in the afternoon, she was all excited. She threw off her coat and stood in front of Sheila hopping up and down with delight.
"Guess what I just got?" she said. Sheila shrugged her shoulder. Tammy stuck out her hand and opened it palm up. There were three orange barrel-shaped tablets in the middle and she held them closer for Sheila to touch.
"It's acid and it's good stuff," she said. "There's going to be a party tonight, a lot of good people. The three of us could take that acid and freak everyone out. Everyone will be tripping their brains out anyway. What a scene!"
The didn't eat anything for the rest of the day. When Clark came over Tammy showed him the acid and he thought it was a groovy idea to take it.
That night as they stood in the middle of Tammy's room with the acid in their hands, Sheila was trembling. She was so excited her belly quivered and she could hardly breathe.
"Wat's going to happen?" she asked them.
"All sorts of things." Tammy said and Sheila felt the cold exciting chill of the unknown thrill get colder. "You might do anything. But you can handle it. Just remember whatever happens go with it."
Sheila didn't quite understand. She had looked puzzled and Tammy explained it for her.
"If something weird happens, like someone turns into an insect or your whole body feels like it's dissolving, accept it. Just go with it and let it happen.
"You'll be able to tell if something is happening that's going to hurt you for real, like your hand is burning. But everything is in your mind anyway, all your reactions and things. So if it's in your mind, it can't hurt you. That doesn't mean what's happening isn't real. Maybe everything is all in your mind.
"Don't get into that too much though. Just remember to go with the flow. Just let it happen and it'll carry you away. Just don't fight it.
"If you start getting scared you'll freak yourself out. Just relax when you get scared. It's all one anyway. Nothing can really happen. You're just atoms and molecules and matter. So just let it all happen. Remember dark and I'll be there if you get scared. But you don't really need us.
Cold and excited she took the orange pill in her hand and popped it into her mouth. She swallowed it and waited.
Sheila walked between them down the tree-lined streets waiting for something to happen. She was scared but excited. Waiting and feeling her whole body she stood very still as they waited for the light.
"It won't come on until we get to the party," Clark said. "It'll come on gradually because you won't really know what you're looking for. But you'll know when you're there."
She squeezed both of their hands tight and stood trembling in the light of the street lamps. Feeling deep inside she tried to know if anything was different. But everything was the same. All the feelings she always had were the same.
Trembling and feeling her large body move next to them she wanted to pull her clothes off and ball in the streets. She held their hands tighter and walked carefully over the old cracked slate sidewalk.
The noise of the party was out in the street. Even though it was in back she could hear the sounds of music and people dancing and talking.
They climbed the stairs, holding each other up and knocked at the door. The hallway was lighted by a single bare light bulb and had the strange unnatural look of a movie set. The white door seemed paler than death.
Death, Sheila thought and felt a twist of terror in her guts. What if I die here? What if someone kills me. She turned toward Tammy and saw her face cold and pallid in the strange light.
She looked like a stranger. Her hand in hers felt like a claw and Sheila tried to draw hers away. But she was immobilized by the fear of being along without support. She remembered the comforting feeling of having her hand holding hers in the street. It seemed so long ago and far away.
Tammy turned her head right toward Sheila slowly like a robot. "Are you all right?" she asked seeing Sheila white and wide-eyed next to her. Sheila shook her head and Tammy squeezed her hand.
Just that little gesture brought back the warmth again. It was a soft hand not a claw any longer. She leaned over and kissed Sheila behind the ear and Sheila leaned her head on her shoulder.
The door burst open in a rush of sound and color. Faces and music became rolling waves of chocolate cream. Brown, gold and red splattered against their eyes and men and women were dancing inside.
The music pounded like a tribal rhythm. The hall was no longer a prison but a waiting room. It suddenly seemed to shrink like a rectum and force them laughing and hugging into the full warm room.
Everything was turning around her. Sheila could hardly stand straight. The lights were exploding and smearing across her eyes as if they were finger paints. Faces looked like masks made of putty and hair, changing and rechanging every instant.
Laughing and hugging everyone, she ran into the middle of the hall. They received her like a long-lost relative. Kissing and hugging she found herself in Clark's arms. His powerful arms were around her back and she felt her belly pressed against his.
Just standing and breathing against him made her whole body glow. Her head spun when she closed her eyes and his arms were like strong pillars in back of her.
It meant so much. She pressed against him and felt the warmth of his body through his clothes. She felt each layer that was between their bodies and wanted them all away.
"Come on Clark," she said. "Let's find someplace where we can ball." But he smiled at her and shook his head.
"Later," he said. "I want to meet everyone first.
She felt as if someone had punched a hole in her or made fun of her. It had been so delightful a second before. But he didn't seem to care about how wonderful he felt through his clothes and how each layer had to come off because she wanted to feel his body naked.
"No, please Clark," she said. "It's so right. You have to now. Please." But he smiled at her and patted her head. Then he went off into the crowd.
She stood there feeling at sea like a piece of flotsam. People brushed against her dancing and talking but they had nothing to do with her.
"Are you tripping," he said. She whirled around and there was a tall graceful man with long blonde hair tied in back of his head. With a ring through his nose he would have looked like a pirate.
She nodded her head. "Are you all right?" he said. She shook her head and saw his kind face. His was so beautiful and strong.
"I don't know," she said. "I don't know who I am and I'm scared."
"It's okay," he said wrapping his long arms around her soft and easy. "Everything is okay. I'm here and so are you. Everything is okay."
"I don't know," she said sobbing harder and growing more and more frenzied. She shook her head and the tears came down and she sobbed. He held her close and felt her heave harder and harder under his embrace.
"No one loves me," she sobbed, her word choking up and breaking apart. "No one."
"It's going to be okay," he said. "It's okay. We're all here and everything is going to be all right."
But she kept crying. Every time he held her she cried harder. Her sobs were growing louder and louder.
"What's your name?" he asked. She told him. "It's going to be all right Sheila," he said bending a little and looking into her face. He stared hard and open-eyed into her face.
"Do you believe me?" he asked. She hesitated. "Come on," he said. "I want to hear you say it." He rubbed her back way down low and coaxed her. "Come on, say it."
She smirked. It seemed so silly. She had always been embarrassed about simple silly things like that. Saying "thank you" and "I'm happy" and things like that always made her blush. It was like that they were so trite. Grown up people didn't say things like that.
"Come on," he said. "If you say it, you'll feel it. It's just a little bit but it'll do you a lot of good."
She opened her mouth and it felt as if she had never spoken before. Her tongue lay nerveless and disconnected on the bottom of her mouth.
It felt in fact as if she were opening some orifice in her face. Pulling wider she stretched her lips and felt her cheeks tentatively with her fingers.
He watched her and she tried to speak. Slowly she formed the first word with her lips. Then soundlessly she tried to move her lips to construct the syllables. Three times she whispered breathlessly and it came out.
"It's all right," she said and beamed with the happiness a child shows when she has spoken the name of something for the first time. Beaming and feeling as if she were bursting with sunshine she said it again.
He took her hand and held it. She took his other hand in hers and said it a third time, drawing him close to her.
She hugged him close and felt his long hard body next to hers. His hard root pushed through their clothes against her crotch. Just like his words had filled the empty space before, she wanted his cock to fill her empty hollow cunt.
She kissed him and their lips locked against each others until their mouths were like one mouth and their teeth clashed together.
Moaning and sucking at each other they stood in the middle of the room oblivious to anything but a pile of bodies of which they were not a part of.
He pulled her over to the side of the room and through a dark doorway. Inside the light was filtered through a red madras fabric. On the bed and strewn over the floor were cushions. On the cushions Sheila could see people writing in couples and more.
There was a low slurping moan coming from the room, not any one place in particular. Her eyes grew accustomed to the light and she forgot completely about the whirling frenzy outside. It seemed like some kind of womb in there and she loved it.
He grabbed her around the waist again and they tumbled onto the bed. His tongue was a long wet lash inside her mouth. She felt it like a snake finding all the secret places in her mouth to tickle and tantalize her.
Her body moved next to him and pushed against his torso. Her hands pulled at his back and felt the rippling lattice of his muscles underneath.
But she felt the trembling tense exploration of his tongue more than anything else. He snaked it in and out of her mouth and she pulled on it as if it were a cock.
Long and wet he pulled it out of her mouth and licked her eyes and nose. Deep and long he ran the tip over the creases of her face.
She rolled over on her back and he crouched next to her licking her face and neck. He was changing and moving. His beautiful blonde face kept moving and becoming every man and woman she had ever known.
Their clothes came off like the skin from an onion. She panted and felt herself opening to him like a flower. Her body moved and melted against him as if she were butter and he was flame.
Each time he kissed her she saw colors and shapes grow and change with them. In and out of her he pushed his tongue.
Then they were naked. Pulling and sliding over each other their arms and legs twined and rewove themselves into intricate tingling shapes and movements
Every place he touched her was bright and shining. Her body was moving faster and faster. Each second she moved against him was like a sweet dream dance of lust.
Over and over she begged him to kiss and lick her. Her words were like prayers for things she had always wanted but had been afraid to even know she wanted.
"Kiss my clitoris," she sighed and slid around with her legs on either side of him until his mouth was in her crotch.
Lapping and sucking as her slit were a feeding trough and he were a horse, he nibbled and chewed. Her whole body twisted around the delicious flashing tongue. Each time he touched her was a sweet dream. Every instant he kept chewing made her tense, and moan
Faster and faster he twisted. His head was like a little worm twisting and sucking her. She moved and whipped her ass around feeling him move like a thin strand of horsehide with her.
Her words jumbled out in barely coherent torrents of assent. "More, please," she spluttered and groaned hoarsely. Her body twisted around and her hips were like fat beautiful pads of flesh.
He put his whole mouth around her pudenda and sucked. The warm flashing of his tongue up and down her slit made her open like a ripe fruit.
She panted and felt herself dissolving under his touch. His hands held her tenderly on the ass and caressed up her belly.
Her tits were like mammoth luscious fruits as he fondled them and felt the nipples grow long and hard. Hard and sharp stabs of pleasure came cutting through her consciousness. Her eyes were closed and the patterns on her skin which he carved there with his fingers flowered behind her eyelids as beautiful sweet patterns of color and shape. Moving and quivering with his head between her legs she felt him move up harder and harder.
She moaned again, but it was a hoarse animal cry this time. Her mind was totally focused on herself as a sexy body. Her belly felt long and sleek and her shoulders moved back and forth shaking her giant tits like rattles on her chest.
Then his body, like a huge phallus slid up her belly, tits and neck until he was pounding alongside her with lust. Faster and harder he grappled as her ass and became an octopus.
In her mind she saw him black and slimy sucking her down with a hundred arms. She scrunched her eyes tighter shut afraid to open them for fear she would see him soft, with a thousand suckers all over his body.
But then she remembered Tammy's advice. She felt his arms all over her and went with the feeling of being devoured by arms.
Deeper and deeper she felt him suck her down until she was wrapped totally with hot arms. Her mouth was open on his.
"Take me," she moaned. "I want you to take ma all the way," In her mind she saw herself twisting in mute pale agony under his tentacles as he poked them in all her holes and dragged her down to the bottom of the sea.
He put his prick like a huge thick throbbing hose against her cunt and pushed. She saw blinding flashes of green every time he pushed the tip through the opening to her pussy.
Down deep into the soft morass of her snatch he shoved and howled louder with each stroke. His other hand snaked around her ass and he pushed the tip of his longest finger up into her ass-hole until she felt him like an octopus on top of her and surrendered her body totally.
She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him down inside. He rammed his dick into her hot mass of dripping labia and in that instant she possessed him as he did her.
Her cunt tightened around his cock and he moaned with it throbbing all the way back to the mouth of her womb. Then like two wolves fucking in the snow they pumped and howled on the sheets until he came.
Long, long says of sweet stroking up her love chute came crashing up in a symphony of feeling. Harder and deeper he pushed and he saw lights and patterns break in his eyes. She milked him and opened her flowering vagina to him until he was crying and howling at the same time.
His spurts of jism into her were like vibrating red splotches of oil paint in a gray-black world. Her whole body dissolved and he rammed his cock up into her slamming it home and filling the emptiness way up inside her.