Chapter 6
The sadness was still with Susan when she awakened Saturday morning. She rushed into the kitchen to prepare Gil's breakfast. During the night, the advance elements of a cold front had moved south to cover the Central Florida area. It wasn't cold enough yet to light the oil burner in the hall, but the heat from the open oven felt good. Susan wore a battered pair of slacks, faded from many washings. She had on a mannish shirt with long sleeves and had brushed her hair back and applied lipstick before coming into the kitchen.
Outside, low clouds promised some badly needed rain. The lawn was dry and brittle. There was, Susan noticed, a tell-tale brown circle on the side of the yard which indicated that the chinch bugs were back. She'd have to remind Gil to bring the sprayer from his mother's house and get some good bug-killer on the grass before the little devils ate it all.
She heard Gil rambling around in the back of the house. Water ran. The electric razor buzzed. That was her signal to put on the eggs. She wasn't hungry. She'd make do with a grapefruit and a piece of toast. It wasn't that she had to watch her weight. No matter what she ate, she seemed to stay within a few ounces of her regular 120 pounds.
She didn't feel like having a big breakfast, that was all. The grey day, the haunting disease that had begun in the midst of their lovemaking the night before, seemed to cast a cloud over her spirits that matched the clouds outside.
Gil came in, fresh in his white uniform. She forced a smile. No need to let Gil know she was in a blue funk. He had enough worries without being inflicted with a neurotic wife.
"Get the paper yet?" he asked cheerfully.
"I didn't think of it."
"I'll get it." He went out the door, and she looked at him through the window. He was straight, tall, handsome. She told herself that she was being a fool, that most women would be happy to have a good man like Gil, that her troubles, fortunately, were all small ones.
Gil, unlike some men she knew, wasn't a heavy drinker. He didn't spend his evenings "out with the boys" flitting from one bar to the next, getting drunk and panting after B-girls. He didn't play around. At least, he didn't play around to her knowledge.
Once, while he was in the Army, she had had suspicions about Gil and the wife of a sergeant who lived in the same apartment building with them. She never had proof that Gil played footsie with the woman. If he did, he handled it discreetly.
Now, with all of Gil's time spent at the shop and at his mother's house, she didn't see how he could ever find the time to go catting, even if he had the urge.
"I thought you'd be wearing the new dress," Gil said lightly as he came back into the house unfolding the morning Sentinel.
"Down boy," Susan said. "That's for special occasions."
"Maybe we can have a party tonight," Gil said. "Just you and me and a fifth of old rotgut."
"That might be nice," Susan said without enthusiasm.
"Maybe we can go out on the town. I'd like to see the looks on faces when you walked into a joint with that dress on."
"I'll bet you wouldn't!" Susan said.
"I'd be the envy of every man in town."
"You'd have to fight to defend my honor." She served his breakfast and sat down. She removed seeds from a runty grapefruit from the tree in the back yard. Gil looked up at the sound of a car in the driveway.
"Company?" he asked. "Search me."
Sharp heels pounded on the concrete of the carport. There was a light knock at the kitchen door. Susan went to open it. Lucia Moreland was there, dressed in a well fitting one piece knit dress. She looked very fresh and very pretty.
"Hi!" Lucia said. "Did I get here just in time to interfere with your breakfast?"
Susan brightened in the face of Lucia's cheerfulness. "Not at all," she said. "Come in."
"Who is it, honey?" Gil called, unable to see the door from where he was sitting.
"It's Lucia Moreland," Susan said, as Lucia followed her back into the dining area. "You remember her, don't you?"
"Of course," Gil said, standing up so quickly that he bumped the edge of the table and spilled coffee over the lid of his cup into his saucer. "Have you had breakfast, Lucia?"
"Oh, yes," Lucia gushed. "I'm sorry to break in on you like this, but I got up this morning and felt so lonely that I asked myself, where can you find a good cup of coffee and genial companionship at this hour of the a.m.? And I said, to myself, why not bust in on the Emory's?"
"We're glad you did," Susan said.
"Sure," Gil seconded. "Don't you want some breakfast?"
"Oh, no," Lucia said. "Just a cup of coffee if you have it." She put her hand on Susan's shoulder and tried to push her down into a chair. "You just tell me where things are and I'll serve myself."
"I'll get it," Susan said. She was watching Gil with some interest. His eyes were glued on Lucia. He was still standing. "You'd better finish your breakfast, Gil," Susan said. "If you don't, you'll never make it to work a half hour early."
Gil sat down. Susan went into the kitchen with Lucia following. When Gil couldn't hear, Lucia whispered, "The real reason I came by was to ask if you'd had a chance to talk things over yet, I mean about coming to work."
Susan nodded grimly. "We've talked."
"Oh-ho."
"He doesn't like the idea."
"That's too bad. I was hoping-"
"I haven't said no," Susan said quickly.
"Oh, so it's that way." Lucia smiled knowingly. "Well, if you need some help?"
"Perhaps we'd better let it ride for a day or so."
"I don't want to push you, Susan, but a girl came to see me yesterday, just after you left. She wants to work part time and I do need someone. Don't feel that I'm trying to force a decision. If you're reasonably sure you can come to work, I can wait a few days."
Susan made her decision suddenly. "There's no need to wait." She carried Lucia's cup and saucer back to the table.
"Lucia has to know if I'm going to work for her," she told Gil. "She's had an application from another girl."
The smile faded from Gil's face.
"Susan is perfect for the job," Lucia said, smiling warmly toward Gil. "She'll be very decorative and useful. You have a beautiful wife." ' "Yes," Gil said. He seemed to be slightly ill at ease under Lucia's gaze. He returned her look and smiled. Susan noted that his eyes went down to measure the fullness of Lucia's breasts. She remembered Gil had described Lucia as a hot number. It would seem that Mr. Gil Emory felt some attraction for Lucia.
"It isn't as if she would be working at a full-time job," Lucia said. "We'll only take her from you on Saturday's and two or three evenings each week."
Gil looked at Susan. "How about Friday evenings?'
"I don't know," Susan said. So that was his plan. He was going to make it seem as if she were not interested in their little Friday night parties.
"Friday is, of course, one of our busiest nights," Lucia said.
"Sometimes it's pretty busy around here," Gil said.
"Look, kids," Lucia said. "I don't want to stick my nose into the middle of your private affairs. I just thought-"
"Gil," Susan said evenly. "I want to go to work for Lucia."
Gil smiled, but the smile had a forced quality. "If your going to work means we'll be seeing a lot of your boss around here, I'll vote for it." When he looked at Lucia there was no trace of shyness.
Susan felt a little pang of anger. He was trying to make her jealous, hinting that if she went to work for Lucia he might find out if Lucia really were a hot number. It was the last straw. It was childish, and it made her furious. She looked at the dress Lucia wore. On the racks at Lucia's store it sold for over a hundred dollars.
Of course, Lucia looked good. Any woman with a halfway decent figure would look good in a dress like that. If that was what Gil liked, she'd by-God give it to him.
"When do you want me to start, Lucia?" Susan asked, looking at Gil, daring him to object.
"Today?"
"Fine with me."
"That's wonderful." She turned her smile on Gil. "You're not going to be angry with me, are you?"
"Angry with you?" He made it sound incredible. "What a silly idea!"
"Now that it's settled," Lucia said, "I'll be running along. See you at the shop around nine-thirty, all right, Susan?"
"I'll be there."
Lucia rose, took her cup and saucer to the sink and tiptapped out the door. When the sound of her car faded, Gil said, "She comes on strong, doesn't she? Makes herself right at home."
"You came on pretty strong yourself," Susan said, still a bit angry.
"Honey," he grinned, "if my wife is going to be a career girl, I've got to have something to help me while away the lonely hours." His smile was without warmth.
"On the wrong track entirely, my friend," Susan said.
"Oh?"
"It won't work."
Gil rose lazily. He moved to the back door. Lucia was in the street, just straightening the car to drive away. When Gil called out, she stopped and rolled down her window.
"We're having a little party tonight, just Susan and I. Would you like to join us?" Susan thought his voice could be heard all over the neighborhood.
"I'd love to," Lucia called back.
"Bring someone if you like," Gil said.
"I'm fresh out of someones," Lucia said, smiling. "May I still come?"
"See you about eight," Gil said. He closed the door and looked back at Susan defiantly. She felt sick in the pit of her stomach.
"Do you know what you're doing?" she asked bitterly.
"What am I doing? What do you mean? I just asked your new boss to visit, that's all. You have to be nice to the boss."
"All right, Gil. Let's be nice to the boss."
"I thought you might enjoy having her over," Gil said innocently.
"I'm sure I will," Susan said coldly. "But I'm not so sure you will." She was thinking of what the catty woman had said about Lucia. Wouldn't it be a big joke on Gil to have him make a huge play for Lucia, for a woman who liked girls?
After a bad beginning, the day straightened out when Susan started work at the little dress shop. Lucia was bright, cheerful and very helpful. Susan was a quick learner. She spent part of the morning getting acquainted with the stock. She waited on a couple of young married women at mid-morning all alone and made a good sale. Before she realized it, it was lunch time.
She and Lucia sent out for sandwiches and ate them seated at the little marble table. By evening, Susan was handling customers like an old pro. She was able to make suggestions and sound authoritative about fashions and materials.
Just before closing time, she sold a very expensive evening gown to a well-dressed dowager with a huge, hanging bust and a tightly corseted belly. When Lucia closed the doors, she sank wearily down into one of the chairs facing the marble table. Lucia came to stand beside her, putting a soft hand on her shoulder.
"Well, how do you like it?" Lucia asked.
"I thought it was fun, but I didn't realize how tired I was until I sat down."
"You'll get used to it. Today was exceptionally busy. I don't know what I would have done without you."
"I'll be more help from now on," Susan said. "I'm getting the hang of it."
"Of course you are! You're going to be perfect." Lucia's hand was still on Susan's shoulder, kneading her tired tendons. Once again, Susan was reminded of the rumor she had heard about Lucia. She looked up into Lucia's face, admittedly curious.
"Now," Lucia said. "I have a reward for a good day's work. I keep martinis in the rear of the store. Shall we have one, two, or three?"
"No more than one," Susan said, smiling. "I'm a cheap drunk."
"Glad to hear it," Lucia said. "The supply will last longer." She led the way into the storeroom at the rear of the shop. During the day, Susan had glanced into it. There were racks of garments, packing cases, odds and ends. In one cleared corner, there was a small refrigerator, a chair and a neatly made three-quarter-size Bed.
"Put the tired body down, and I'll do the honors," Lucia said. She went to the refrigerator, took out two chilled glasses and a shaker. Susan sat on the edge of the bed, leaving the chair for Lucia. Lucia handed her the drink and stood in front of her.
"I'll have to hurry," Susan said. "No use pouring fuel on the flames of dissension at home. Gil will be there before too long, unless he runs into a lot of work at the shop. I should be there when he gets home. I have some frozen spaghetti sauce which I've been saving for just such an emergency. It won't take me long to get dinner, but I think I should be there just to make him feel better, at least on the first night."
"Drink up, then," Lucia said. She went down beside Susan. Her weight caused the mattress to give, and Susan had to hitch herself up to keep from sliding against Lucia. The martini was very cold and very strong. It hit the spot after the day's work. Susan could feel it bum its way down her throat into her stomach.
"Boy!" she said. "It wouldn't take many of these."
"My capacity isn't very great, either," Lucia said. "By the way, do you want me to come to your place tonight?"
Susan looked at the dark-haired girl quickly. The tone of the question implied there might be a reason why Susan wouldn't want her.
"Of course," Susan said.
'I'm not blind, darling," Lucia said.
"No, I didn't think you could fail to notice."
"You're not bothered?"
"Should I be?"
Lucia laughed, a low, liquid sound deep in her throat. "I don't think so." She looked into Susan's eyes. "Not about that."
Susan wanted, out of curiosity, to find the double meaning behind those words. "There is something which should bother me?"
Lucia touched Susan's leg, high up, near the panty-line. "No, don't mind silly me."
"Do you know," Susan said carefully, looking down at the trimly manicured hand which still touched her leg, "that you're constancy touching me?"
There was a moment of frozen silence. Susan held her breath, wondering if she had been too direct. There was a candid relationship already established between them. They talked together easily, with no beating around the bush. Lucia's reference to Gil's behavior was an example. And Susan felt like being direct. She didn't want to go on wondering about Lucia.
During the day there had been, as she said, a constant series of touches from Lucia, a light pat, a stroke on the arm, occasional body contact when they were working in close quarters. She hadn't really thought about it until now, until she felt the touch of Lucia's soft hand on her leg. At that point, suspicion came back. She remembered once again that someone had said, "Don't let her get you in a dark corner."
"Am I?" Lucia removed her hand slowly, her face expressionless.
"Not that I mind," Susan said, watching Lucia's face closely. "It's just...."
Lucia's hands fluttered. She seemed, for the first time in Susan's experience with her, to be ill at ease. "I don't know why," she said. "It's just a silly habit, I guess. If it bothers you...."
"Oh, no," Susan said, distressed to see the self-contained Lucia floundering. "I don't know what I was thinking of to make an issue of it."
Lucia sighed deeply, drawing her shoulders up, letting her chest fall with her exhalation. "What have you heard about me, Susan?"
It was Susan's turn to feel flustered. She didn't want to force Lucia into a soul-searching session which might prove embarrassing for both of them.
She didn't want to do anything to jeopardize the pleasant relationship so swiftly built up with her new friend and boss.
"What do you mean?" she asked, playing for time to gather her thoughts and make a graceful exit from the situation.
Fully recovered, Lucia said, "Let's not kid each other."
"I'm at a loss," Susan said.
"All right, let me say it. You've heard, no doubt, that I have unusual tastes."
"Why, no," Susan said, but her blush gave lie to her words.
"I like you Susan. Do you mind my saying that?"
"Not at all. I'm pleased. I like you, too-very much."
"I'm glad. I don't want to do anything to change that. I want us to be good friends. If my mauling you bothers you, just yell at me until I remember to keep my hands to myself."
Susan thought she recognized deep pain behind Lucia's words, and her heart went out to her. It was she, then, who did the touching. She put a hand on Lucia's arm. "I still don't know what you're talking about, Lucia. I assure you that I've heard nothing, and if I did, I wouldn't believe it if it were bad."
Lucia sighed again. "No, we'd better cover the ground since we're in this deep." She took a deep drink. "I think you're mature enough, Susan, to understand that all people are not alike."
"Of course."
"Let's go about it this way," Lucia said. "How do you feel about women who like other women?"
Susan's heart skipped a beat. So it was true! Well, it didn't make any difference. It didn't make Lucia any less nice, any less friendly. "I don't know, really," she said, being very truthful. "I've never thought about it much, I guess."
"You've never been approached by a Les, huh?"
"No."
"What would you do if you did run into one, if a Les tried to put the make on you?"
Susan laughed nervously. She had to weigh her answer carefully. She wanted to make it clear that she didn't hold it against Lucia if she were that way, but she didn't want to encourage anything either.
"I don't know," she said.
It was clear now, that what she had heard about Lucia was true. Lucia, herself, was telling her about it. She was uncomfortable. Strangely, she felt as much discomfort for Lucia as she did for herself. She felt great sympathy for Lucia. She wanted to make it sound just right.
"If she were a nice girl," Susan said, "and I liked her, I might like to see how the other half lives."
Lucia smiled warmly. "Thank you, Susan," she said. "Thank you for being so understanding." The smile faded, and she was serious. "But I won't bother you. It's not because I have anything against being friendly with someone who is working for me, either. It's because I value your friendship so much. I wouldn't want to risk losing it."
"Now it's my turn to thank you" Susan said sincerely. "I feel the same."
The smile they exchanged was warm and friendly. Both were comfortably silent as they finished their drink.
"Let's have just one more," Lucia suggested.
Susan felt warm and very close to Lucia. Confidences exchanged had brought them nearer. She respected Lucia for being honest with her. She respected Lucia for promising not to start anything sexy.
"I'll have one more," she said, still feeling the warmth of the first martini. Drinking on an empty stomach was murder, she knew, but one more would hardly hurt her.
"One up, and then I'll have to go," she said. "Do you have to go home and change or something?"
"Not if you'll let me use a hairbrush," Lucia said.
"Can do. Then we'll go directly to the house. You can help me with the spaghetti. You do like spaghetti, don't you?"
"Love it."
The second martini, as always, was better than the first. Susan, in a hurry to get home, killed half in seconds. She was studying Lucia out of the corner of her eyes. The more she looked at the girl, the prettier she got. Susan admired Lucia's perfect face, her large eyes, her beautiful figure.
For just a second, she let herself wonder how it would feel to have the soft, gentle arms of a woman around her. She wondered if it would be vasdy different from being held by a man. She had not had much experience, really. In all her life she had made love with just one person-one man-Gil. Thinking of Gil reminded her of his clumsy attempt to make her jealous of Lucia. She laughed aloud. The joke was really on him now.
"What's so funny?" Lucia asked.
"I can't tell you."
"So be that way."
"It might make you mad."
"I promise it won't," Lucia said.
"I was thinking about Gil." She laughed again. "You know, he thinks you're one hot number."
Lucia chuckled. "I see what you mean."
"Wouldn't the joke really be on him if I...." She paused. Lucia was looking at her very strangely.
"If you what?" Lucia asked.
"If you and I ... Why was she being coy? "Lucia," she said calmly. "You said you wouldn't bother me. What if I want to be bothered?"
"Would you repeat that, please?" Lucia asked, wrinkling her forehead thoughtfully.
Susan felt daring, sophisticated. She was just teasing, of course. She wasn't the type to go for women. She liked to feel that man.
"What if I want to be bothered?" she repeated.
"Then, darling, as someone once said in an old movie, you just whistle." Lucia spoke softly but with great meaning. "But don't whistle unless you mean it, Susan. You'd better mean it or you might get raped."
Susan faked a wide-eyed, frightened look. "Oooh, how scared I am!"
They laughed together. Lucia drained her glass and Susan followed suit. Lucia rose, smoothing down her skirt.
"Well," Lucia questioned. "Shall we go?"