Chapter 9

A Clumsy Youth

Truth to say, I was now very happy. We got along on my salary and I worked in a pleasant atmosphere. Above all, my sexual appetite was satisfied.

In fact I had all I desired, not only a lover, but also a mistress. Not everyone could have done as much at my age!

Nearly every night after work, we used to hold our intimate gathering. Rene and Suzette fulfilled all my desires. We had hardly closed when I would run to the studio. I would strip in a jiffy, then, naked, stretch out, already satisfied. A few minutes later they would both come in wearing their dressing gowns. As that was all they had on, in a second we were all naked and unashamed. Alternately one of us would be the willing victim on the sofa. If it was Rene, we would stretch him out, our eager lips traveling over every crook and cranny of his body. The poor fellow! He would soon find himself in such a state of over-boiling passion that one of us would generously offer her cavernous orbit to quench his slaking thirst.

If Suzette or I was the tender victim, Rene and the other partner would put her into such a state of hysterical frenzy that she would scream and yell for his phallic manhood, while the third musketeer struggled to interest her groping tongue with her open cunt.

Now and again, Rene had to go away on business. Suzette and I would console ourselves as best we could with a rubber imitation of his magnificent tool. It was on such a night that I left the shop after a bout with Suzette.

Our feminine caresses had not, I must admit, satisfied me. Rene's monster was really irreplaceable.

Strolling by the opera, I decided to go to the pictures on the Boulevard de la Madeleine. They were showing "The Emperor's Waltz" with Marika Rokk. After a while I was completely absorbed by the film.

"It is a good film, isn't it, Miss? Don't you agree Marika Rokk is lovely?" I heard a husky voice whisper. I had not noticed him come in.

"Yes, she is."

Becoming bolder, he leaned towards me:

"You are even more beautiful!"

He could not possibly see me, as it was pitch dark.

"Really, sir ... "

"Don't be angry, just let me take your hand. I promise I will be good."

He got hold of my hand and started creeping up my bare arm. Trying to stop him, I unfortunately pressed my tit lightly on his forearm. Waiting no longer, his hand left mine and gripped my right breast. My first thought was to take is away but he squeezed lightly and once more my volcanic temperament got the better of me.

Nervously I contracted with pleasure. He noticed it at once and, taking advantage of the situation, darted his hand into my bosom where he could fondle my naked breast. His other hand lowered on my warming thighs, parted my willing gams and offered his stealing fingers to my enfolding suckers. With knowing rhythmic movements he sent me off to a sentimental journey.

Obviously well satisfied with the result, he soon made me understand that one good turn deserves another. Deliberately he took my hand and placed it on his rapidly growing member.

Not wanting to seem ungrateful, I willingly complied with his wishes. Undoing his fly, I did my best to procure him a delightful release.

He was well on the way when he stopped me dead.

"No," he whispered, "not here. Let's get out of this place!"

Like a robot I obeyed. I followed him out.

In the light of the boulevard, I studied him intently, as I had hardly seen him in the cinema. He was about 25, of medium size, and not too bad looking. However, he was rather poorly dressed. Still, the cut of his clothes did not matter much for what was to follow.

This was to be another surprise.

He drew me to the nearest dark spot.

There he whispered:

"Stay as you are; that's perfect, but bend a trifle further forward."

I had my back to him, and pushing me downwards, he stood behind me, lifted my skirt, downed my slip and poked his rod into me. This new position was not at all displeasing; on the contrary I very soon flooded his genitals as well as his trousers with my treacly spending. My partner, deeply engaged in my passage, mingled his ejaculations with mine.

To my astonishment he did not let me go, but twice again in rapid succession he proved to me that although he might choose peculiar places to make love, he could do it often and well!

Notwithstanding, I had already noticed that, since the war, this had become a national custom. As soon as darkness came, every dim nook and cranny, every gloomy doorstep and embrasure, as well as all the other possible hiding places in the capital, were filled with clinging couples copulating in the moonlight. Their shadows rocking together in the gathering dusk seemed to be an everlasting cry of defiance against the occupant, the war, and the stupidity of the human race in general.

Anyhow, this open air sport was right up my street. I met him again several times. However, after a while I grew bored with always undergoing the same exercises.

I failed to turn up at our next rendezvous, leaving my acrobatic lover to find another partner who would be willing to bend her posterior to allow him to swing his elephantine trunk into her yawning cavity.

All in all, after this interlude, I appreciated even more Rene and Suzette's affectionate and refined caresses in their cozy intimate studio.

One fine day in the year of 1942, I discovered I was pregnant; a couple of weeks later it became a certainty.

Of my four lovers, I could eliminate one right away as being the culprit. This was my soldier, as that was already two years ago.

This left Jack, Rene and my acrobatic friend Emile. Jack was the least likely, as due to his abnormal and perverse ways, he had only fucked me three or four times. Moreover, it was he who had carefully instilled in me the basic principles of the necessary precautions to take immediately afterwards.

The same went for Rene. Our amorous trio took every care after our triangular diversions.

The obvious one was my outdoor companion, Emile.

There were 99 chances out of a hundred he was the one, the municipal council having negligently omitted to provide running water on the streets for those who preferred to make love in the open.

In any case, it made no difference. Whoever it was, the result was the same: I was pregnant. The outlook was bleak. There I was, supporting my mother and I on my salary. What was going to happen to us? How was I going to hide it from my mother? Who should I turn to for help?

What a fool I was! Rene and Suzette obviously.

So a little later, after one of our three-cornered marathons of sexual intercourse, while puffing negligently at a Turkish cigarette and sipping their last supply of whiskey, swilling its delicious flavor inside my palate, I blurted out my problem:

"I am sorry to break up this intimate atmosphere but I would like to ask your advice."

"Certainly, darling!"

"If it is humanly possible, you can be assured of our help."

"That's settled! Thank you! I am pregnant!"

"You, pregnant?"

"Maybe you're wrong."

"No, unfortunately not. Listen while I tell you everything." I proceeded to unveil the whole story.

Smiling, Suzette agreed with me.

"As you say, it's almost certainly your bestial lover, Emile. My precious darling, you really should be more careful about making love to an unknown stranger who cannot even afford to take you to a room with the necessary toilet impedimenta, but finds it convenient to fuck you in public, like a mongrel and a bitch."

"You would have done better to have brought him here, to make up a foursome," Rene added.

"True enough," exclaimed Suzette, already thrilling at the idea of another manly item.

"You are both right," I said, "but what about my problem?"

Suzy thought for a moment.

"Tomorrow I shall give you something which I hope will do the trick."

I hugged them both gratefully and went home relieved.

Next morning, Suzette handed me a small tube of darkish colored liquid, telling me to take a teaspoonful every two hours.

Unfortunately, the result was most disappointing. The only tangible consequence was that I had to leave early with violent stomach pains. Then Suzy got hold of the address of a midwife with a special talent for that sort of thing.

I hurried over to her place.

"Only too pleased to oblige," she said. "It will cost you 5,000 francs."

"That's too much; I can't pay you all that right now. I will give you 2,000 now and the rest later."

Actually I had not a bean of my own to spare and 2,000 francs had been lent me by Rene, who could not at that time afford more as business was not too flourishing.

"Nothing doing. I said 5,000 cash or nothing."

"Please! I'll give you the rest later."

"I am sorry; in this business it's all or nothing."

Helplessly I went home. There, another blow fell. My mother was very ill and the doctor prescribed only the most expensive medicine, only available on the black market.

How easy everything is when you have plenty of money!

I had none at all!

I remember crying with rage, alone in my bed that night. It comes back to me even now, clearer because it so seldom happened.

Something in me became hard and merciless, and in one night I changed from a young carefree girl into a heartless, grabbing, skeptical, ambitious and perfidious woman, ready to take my place among the riffraff, profiteers, spivs and high class prostitutes who ruled wartime Paris, crushing and dazzling lesser mortals with their money and ill-gotten wealth.