Chapter 3

While I waited to go to Africa, which I had started to think of as the land of my birth, I sat around and thought about my younger days, the days when I was growing up in Birmingham. You see, this little nigger gal had learned a lot about herself in the last few weeks, since she had met up with Ranee Godwin. I was trying to figure out where this love of pain might have started. I was thinking about the core of that love and that led me to a couple of things that happened in my past, when I was just a hot kid, learning to tuck.

The first guy who fucked me was Bubba Finch, but that does not mean anything to me. I guess that it did not do that much for me except to show me that fucking was sort of fun and nothing to be afraid of. I kept on fucking, not so much because I wanted to, but because I wanted to have something to do. You see, Birmingham was dull for me. My father did not seem to be around most of the time. He worked and slept and watched TV and that was about it. He did not talk to me at all. And my mother was just full of sayings. She kept telling me not to do this and not to do that. She kept telling me that she did not want me to get into trouble, and I kept thinking that trouble might be more exciting than anything else that was happening to me there in Birmingham. The only member of my family that I really liked that much was my older brother, Leroy. I can't tell you how much Leroy meant to me. He was four years older than I was and he was on the school football team. He was a strong, handsome, black god to me. I had worshipped him for as long as I could remember, and, when I started fucking guys, I kept thinking about how good Leroy must be. The girls were always hanging around him at school and I thought that my brother would just have to be a stud. But I knew too that it was not right for a sister to think things like that about her brother, and I felt a little guilty because I had thought those things. I guess that I went out and fucked a lot of other guys because I could not have my brother. I guess that I was really looking for someone who could be as good for me as Leroy probably was for other girls.

And then I got turned on to white boys there in Birmingham. They were a special thrill because I had to sneak around to meet them and they had to sneak around to meet me. I also liked it that they found me attractive because I was a nigger, a sexy nigger, but still a nigger, you know. That is the way that I thought of myself. I was a nigger. Men and women who were white had called my people that for the longest time. I remember when I was growing up sometimes white kids would chase me and call me that name. It would make me cry then, but I sort of got to like it when I started fucking those white boys. One of them told me that I was a special nigger, that I could take more cock into my pussy than any dozen Southern belles. I thought about that and it gave me pride. There was little else that I could be proud of. In all other ways, I thought that I was just a regular nigger, sort of low-class you know.

But then that spring Saturday night changed my life for good, and now that I think about it, I guess that it had something to do with my love for pain. Let me tell you about it.

I got out of the house about six o'clock that night and started walking around. My mother was in one of her super-religious moods and she was telling me what good girls should do and shouldn't do. I don't know why she kept bothering me with her rules and regulations. I know that she never talked to Leroy about good boys and bad boys. I guess that she felt that my father should talk to him, but my father did not talk to Leroy any more than he talked to me.

I started walking around in my neighborhood. I did not have anything special planned. I did not ever have anything special planned. I guess that I was already a bad girl there in my community. I don't remember any guys ever calling me up and asking me out. They would just meet me somewhere and take me out and fuck me. That is all they seemed to care about, but I had grown used to that and I figured that that was about all that I could expect out of life.

I had not started to take the drugs then, but they were not far down the line. When I started to use the drugs, I felt that it did make me feel better about life. But, that night, I remember that I did not feel good about life at all. I just felt sort of lost.

And I was walking around when this big car pulled up. A white boy named Randy Sparks stuck his head out and smiled at me. I could see that there were other boys in that car too. I walked toward the car and I smiled at Randy. He had fucked me before and he had been pretty good. I liked it that Randy had a deep, dark tan. I thought that that made him sort of like a nigger too, but I would never have told him that. I would not have wanted to insult him.

"Hi, Randy," I said. "How you doing tonight?"

"Okay, Melody," he said. "How you doing?"

"Just fine."

"Want to take a ride with me and my friends."

I looked into the car and I saw the other boys sitting there. Randy Sparks had three other white guys with him. They all looked neat and they all looked anxious and I thought that I had never done that before, done it with more than one guy at a time. I thought that it would be fun, that it would make me feel really special.

So I grinned and said, "Sure, Randy. Looks like a nice night for a ride."

Of course, I knew what they had in mind. I knew that they wanted to do more than take a ride with me. They wanted to ride me, to fuck me. And I wanted to be fucked too. I had just come from home, from listening to all that shit that my sainted mother was laying on me.

I was already a bad girl, and I decided that I would be real bad that night.

One of the boys got out of the car and I slid into the front seat between Randy, who was driving, and that other white boy. The other two boys were in the back seat. Randy introduced them all, but I don't remember anyone else's name.

All I remember was that none of them was going to play any games with me. The boy sitting there next to me put his hand on my leg just as soon as I got into the car. I was wearing shorts and I had good legs, black and strong and long. I have always been a tall girl.

I just smiled at him and I kissed The other boys cackled at the way that I had reacted to that. "Didn't I tell you that she was something, fellas?" Randy said proudly.

"We have been driving around for the better part of an hour looking for you," the other boy, the boy with his hand on my leg, said to me.

And that made me feel proud too, really proud and really noble in a way.

"Let's do it!" I yelped like some kind of cheerleader.

And the boys in the car laughed and Randy gunned the motor and headed for the outskirts of the city. I knew where he was going. There was a place out there just before the suburbs started, a wooded area that all the kids went to, the black kids and the white kids. They went out there to fuck and I had been out there too, several times over the last few months. I had even been out there with Randy.

We got out there in just a few minutes and we parked in the section where the white kids always parked. You see, there were two sections of those woods and the black kids used one and the white kids used the other. I guess it is still that way back in Birmingham, but I remember how thrilled I was when I went out there with my first white boy because we parked in the white section of the Fucking Woods. That is what the kids in Birmingham called the place. They called it the Fucking Woods and they had for years, probably since before I was even born.

When we parked the car, the two boys in the back seat leaned forward and started to run their hands over my back and my neck and Randy and the other boy leaned and started to kiss and lick me and put their hands all ove. my tits. That thrilled me, having all those boys touch my nigger flesh at the same time. I sat there and I sighed and then I thought that I would have to take control of that situation. I would have to lead them all in the fucking because there were four of them and only one of me. I pushed the guys back and I sat forward in the seat and I pulled off my blouse. Then I took off my bra. When I did that, when I showed them my naked, nigger tits, they started hooting and shouting like they were at some kind of football game or something.

But I was in control and I thought about how I was going to do that. I finally figured it out. I turned around to the two guys in the back seat and I said, "You boys are going to have to move. I want the back seat and I will fuck all of you back there. While I am fucking one of you in the back seat, the other three can sit up front and wait their turn. Okay?"

"Sounds great," one of the boys in the back seat said.

I was naked by then. I had taken off all my clothes and that boy in the front seat with me and Randy was running his hands over my flesh. That felt so good that I thought that he should be the first. I smiled at him and I said, "You get in this cunt first, white god."

And the others hooted and shouted and laughed some more and the two boys in the back seat got out of the car and I climbed over the seat into the back. The white boy who was going to be first started to strip off his clothes. When he was naked, he climbed back there with me and the other two came into the front seat.

The white boy in the back seat started to kiss my neck and play with my tits. I sighed to him and I said, "Oh, honey, that feels good. Play with those nigger tits. Suck on them, baby."

And the boys in the front seat peered over and listened to me and laughed some more.

You see, I knew that I was putting on a show for them. I knew that I had to keep them happy while they waited their turn. And I did not mind that at all. Thinking of putting on that show for those guys made my cunt all wet and syrupy. I felt very powerful, because I had never before had so many white boys looking at me and waiting for me. And I kept thinking that I was really in control of that.

The white boy who was with me at that moment moved down over my breasts and sucked one of my nipples into his mouth. I sighed and lifted my legs and ran the insides of my thighs over his body.

And, as he sucked on that nipple, he kept his hands moving over me, touching me and tickling me and thrilling me. I don't remember much about that boy's looks. I could not even pick him out if he came into my room and smiled down at me today. But, if he touched me, I think that I would know him for sure. You see, most boys, white boys and black boys, did not know about touching, did not know how much touching could turn a girl on. They played with my tits a bit and then they wanted to put their cocks in me and fuck, but I remember that this white boy was taking his time. He was sucking on that nipple and running his hands over my body and I was sighing and shivering under him. I ran my fingers through his hair and the other guys in the front seat looked at us with their eyes wide. I could feel the boy's hardness, his white hardness, against my body. And I kept touching him too. I wanted him to know that I enjoyed the way that he was treating me. I kept talking to him too, talking to him so that I could thrill him and the other boys, the boys in the front seat, the boys who were waiting their turns with me.

"Oh, baby," I said. "You sure do know how to treat a nigger girl right. You sure do know how to turn a nigger girl on. Oh, baby, I feel all gummy inside. I feel like one ball of nigger heat. I want you to fuck me, baby. Fuck that nigger pussy of mine. Fuck my hot, juicy, nigger cunt."

I noticed then that the other boys in the front seat were not making any noise any longer. They all looked back there in the back seat and they were silent. I guess they were too excited to make any sounds. All the yelling and cheering had gone out of the evening and there was nothing left in that car but hot lust, white and black lust.

Yes, I was turned on too.

I had started to talk to that boy about my nigger cunt to give the other white boys a thrill. But now I knew that that kind of talk was giving me a thrill too. I liked thinking of that boy's whiteness and the way that his white cock would go into me. I liked thinking of myself as a nigger because I knew that I was parked with those white boys in the white section of the Fucking Woods. I felt very honored and I wanted to keep reminding myself that I was a nigger, that I was a special nigger girl that night.

And then that white boy stopped sucking on my tit and I lay back and spread my legs and lifted them a little bit. I looked down at that cock of his and I saw that it was big and hard and strong. I looked at the muscles in his chest too. He was already heaving and sweating and I could tell that he was very hot, hot for my nigger flesh.

He positioned himself over me and I sighed to him to keep that heat moving through his system, as it was moving through mine.

"Oh, fuck me, white stud," I said. "Fuck my nigger cunt. Drive it to me. Fuck that nigger cunt and ram it to me hard."

And the boy just chuckled and he turned and looked at his friends who were looking at me and he said the word in a soft, Southern accent.

"Nigger."

"Yeah," Randy said grinning. "Call her that. She loves it when a white guy calls her that."

And I did not contradict Randy. He knew my nigger soul so well.

The white boy looked down at me and smiled and said it again, said the word right to me.

"Nigger."

And I spread my legs wide as that fire went through me and I sighed to him.

"Oh, fuck me, man. Ram it to me, white stud. Fuck this nigger bitch."

And that man did it. He slammed it right into me. His cock felt like a tower inside of me.

It filled me up and made me squirm and sigh, but I kept saying the words because I knew that he liked them and I knew that the other boys in the front seat liked them. And I knew that I liked those words too.

"Fuck that nigger cunt, you white stud. Fuck me. Fuck this nigger whore."

"Yeah, nigger," he said, grinding away in me. "I am going to fuck you. I am going to fuck the shit out of your nigger cunt. I am going to fuck you like you have never been fucked before in all of your nigger life."

"Nigger," Randy sighed from the front seat of the car.

And the other two up there took up the chant. It was chanted in soft and breathy voices.

"Nigger. Nigger. Nigger."

And I closed my eyes and I seemed to float on that chant, on those soft words of abuse.

That white cock was slamming into me, and the white boy over me was grunting and enjoying himself.

And I was fucking him with all the nigger lust in my system. I kept hearing that word and I loved the way that that word mixed with the cock that was going into me.

"Nigger. Nigger. Nigger. Nigger."

"Yeah, you nigger bitch," the white boy who was fucking me growled. "You nigger whore."

And I fell in love with those words of abuse. I fell in love with the way that the cock felt in me and the way that those words made me float. I was a nigger, and I knew that no white boy in Birmingham would ever have the courage to take me out in public. But they were going to keep coming around, driving around the nigger section of the city, looking for me on Saturday night, and I knew that that made me special to them. I would become legendary in Birmingham, I thought as that white boy fucked me. I would be known as the hottest nigger bitch in the world, the kid of nigger bitch who would do anything, anything at all for some fun. That was even better than my brother's legend. He was known as a good football player and a stud, I figured, but he was only known in the black section of the city, the nigger section. My fame, I thought, would rise up and float over Birmingham.

I was sweating and rocking under that white boy and then he grunted in that special way that always told me that a guy was coming. I sighed and tightened my black, nigger legs around his white body and held him in me and I murmured to him.

"Come in me, white stud. Come in my nigger cunt, you white stud."

And that white boy tensed his body over mine and I held him in me and he came in me.

God, I loved it! I thought that there was nothing better in the world than a good white cock coming in a nigger cunt.

And then that white boy pulled out of me and another shouted, "I am next!"

I lay there, sort of in a daze, and I lifted my hand and beckoned that next white boy to me. "Sure, honey," I said. "Sure, you are next."

I do not remember much about that fucking or the one that came after it. There just seemed to be weights, white weights on my black body. I loved those weights and I loved the way that those guys plowed into me.

But Randy was the last one. I knew, when I finished with those other three and looked at him, that Randy would be something special. He had waited his turn and now he was climbing over to me. I reached out and I touched his tanned flesh and sighed to him.

"Bet you are going to be the best, Randy. Bet you are going to be the best, white stud in Birmingham."

But Randy just sat down in the back seat and looked at his friends. He spoke to them softly and I sensed something dangerous and sinister in his voice when he said those words.

"I told you that she was great. But I also told you that I was going to do something special to her. Right, boys? Right?"

"Right, Randy," they all said together.

I wondered what Randy was going to do to me. I could tell by the way that his friends looked at us there in the back seat that they wondered too.

I reached up and put my nigger hand on his tanned shoulder and I said, "I am yours, Randy. Do anything that you want to this nigger whore."

Randy turned around and smiled at me.

"You are a nigger whore, aren't you, Melody?" he asked.

I grinned at him.

"Sure am, Randy boy," I said, almost happily.

And that was when he hit me. It came out of the blue and shocked me more than it actually hurt me.

He slapped me hard across the face. I lay there and just looked up at him.

"You fucking tramp," he said. "You fucking nigger bitch. Did you really think that I would be the fourth cock in your fucking pussy tonight?"

I had really thought that he would. I knew that I was sweaty and sort of scummy after all that fucking, but I thought that I was still sort of sweet too, sweet with nigger lust.

And then he slapped me again and the other guys in the front seat just stared at him.

"Say you like it, nigger," Randy snarled at me.

"What?" I muttered, my eyes filling with tears.

"Say that you like it. I know that you do. There is nothing that a nigger girl-likes more than being hit by a white man."

And I did not know if the feelings that I had would be like the feelings that all nigger girls had, but I did know that I did like it. I liked it when he slapped me.

And I admitted it in a muttering tone.

"I do like it," I said. "I like it a lot."

I guess I would have said that, no matter whether I liked it or not. But the truth is that I did feel something special happening my body when he slapped me like that. I felt the heat of that slap and the heat rushed down to my pussy.

It was a reminder that I was nothing but a nigger, a reminder that he was a white man and I was nothing compared to him. And something about those slaps made me feel safe. I knew that I could not fail at anything, because I was only a nigger.

All of those thoughts rushed through my head, but I could not put them into words.

The only thing that I could say was, "Hit me again, Randy. Hit me again, you white stud."

And he smiled and looked at his friends and said, "Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you that she would like it?"

But I looked at those friends through the tears that flooded my eyes and I could tell by their expressions that he had not told them anything like that. Those three naked white boys were surprised and shocked by what he was doing to me. I could see that. "Yes," I muttered, tossing with the blows that he gave me. "Yes. I love it. Hit me. Slap the shit out of me. Knock the crap out of me. I am nothing but a nigger bitch."

And I did love it. Jesus, how I loved it!

I tossed and squirmed as he hit me again and again. Then he stopped slapping me and he put his hands on my tits and he pulled on my nipples and I yelped with pain. But there was more than just the pain there. My pussy was flowing with juices.

I did not understand it, but I loved it. I loved what was happening to me.

Suddenly, those other three white boys did not even exist in my mind. There was only Randy, Randy with the pain that he was giving me. And I seemed to float on that pain as I had floated before on the word, nigger.

"Yes," I whimpered. "Yes. Yes. Yes."

"Nigger slut."

"Yes."

"Nigger whore."

"Yes."

"Nigger bitch."

And I felt like he was going to rip my nipples off and I did not care if he did.

I just loved giving him this pain. I felt like my pain was vibrating out from my body and meeting him and making him think that he was the special white, wonderful stud. He was even better than his three friends. He was, really. He was.

And then he pulled his hands off my tits and I groaned to him.

"Fuck me. Please. Fuck me. Fuck my nigger whore cunt."

But Randy just laughed at me and slapped me again.

"I told you," he snarled. "I am not going to go fourth into that scummy, nigger pussy. I will go out and find myself a fresh nigger bitch before I do that."

And I felt like my brain was on fire. I could not let him leave me, I thought.

I did not want him to go out and find some other nigger girl.

I wanted to be his special nigger girl always.

I reached out and felt his cock. It was hard. He had gotten that excited by hitting me and hurting me. I sighed to him in a begging tone.

"Then let me suck your cock, Randy," I said. "Let me suck it until you come in my nigger mouth. I have not sucked any of the others. I will suck your cock. Please, Randy. Let this nigger girl suck your cock."

And he seemed to think about it for a moment and then he figured that it was all right.

He moved over me and he put his hand behind my head and lifted my head up.

"Okay, nigger whore," he said. "Suck that white cock."

And I looked at that cock and I could not think of anything that I wanted to do more.

I opened my mouth and I grabbed his white, strong pole, and I pulled his cock to my lips. Then I licked the end of that cock.

"Oh," I moaned. "How sweet. How sweet this white cock is."

And Randy chuckled.

Then I took that white cock into my mouth.

And then I heard the other boys, the ones in the front seat that I was already finished with. They gasped and they spoke to each other in hushed tones, as if they could not believe that I was really doing this.

"She is sucking on his cock."

"My god, look at that black mouth go."

"That looks great. She is going after it as if it were a steak."

"She sure-likes white cock, doesn't she?"

"What nigger whore wouldn't like white cock?"

And then those three guys laughed and

Randy joined them in laughing.

And I kept sucking on his white, strong cock.

I gave him just what he wanted, and I felt an ease come into my body as I gave him that.

Randy had knocked the shit out me, but I felt honored that he was letting me suck on that cock. I felt that cock pulse in my mouth and batter the back of my throat and I worked back and forth on that thing. Randy put his fingers over my kinky, nigger hair and he groaned to me.

"Suck that, you nigger bitch. Suck it. Suck that cock."

And I think that that was the first time that I really felt the poetry of the abusive language. The words that Randy said to me seemed to set my body on fire with lust.

And that lust was even greater because I knew that those other white boys were watching us.

I moved my nigger mouth off that white cock and I held the prick in my hand and licked the underside of the meat. I ran my tongue up the cock with a regular motion and I looked up at Randy. He looked down at me as if he expected me to do all of these things, as if he knew that he was some kind of master of my soul.

And that was the way that I felt about him then too. I felt that he was the master of my nigger soul.

"Get it back in your mouth, bitch," he snarled. "I am going to come soon."

And I clamped my mouth over that rod with pressed my lips around the pulsing flesh.

I wanted him to come soon. I wanted to taste my master's cream as it shot down my nigger throat.

I was sure that there was nothing that could be better for a nigger whore like me.

And then Randy groaned and thrust his body forward and slammed that cock back into my throat.

I accepted that and sighed and touched my own tit. I felt the nipple that he had hurt with his fingers. I twitched slightly with that pain.

And the come shot into my throat like molten lava.

It rolled down my throat and filled me with heat and glee and I took it all in me.

He came with gallons of juice and it all rolled down my throat and went into my gut, my nigger stomach. I sucked on it and caressed the meat and milked it for all that it was worth.

And then, when Randy was finished with me, he pulled his cock out of my mouth and he looked down on me.

"Get dressed, you nigger slut," he said. "Get dressed and get out and walk."

I think that that hurt me a little, but I knew that Randy was right, that I should walk home like the fucking, nigger slut that I was.

A few minutes later, I stood out there in the Fucking Woods and I watched the car tear away. I looked around me and I knew that I was a nigger girl in the white section of the woods. I knew that some white guys in Birmingham would not like it if they found me out there. So I turned and I ran through the woods, ran to the section that had been reserved for niggers.

I ran so that I could be with my own kind. But my horrible and wonderful night was not over yet.

There was still more humiliation to come, and this humiliation was even better.

I went through the woods and came out on the nigger section. There were cars parked there and I knew that other black kids were in those cars, fucking away. I felt more at home there, but I still did not know how I would get home. I sat down under a tree and I looked at those cars. I was in the dark part of the woods and I knew that no one could see me there. I thought that I needed some time to sit there and think about what had happened to me with those white boys, especially with Randy.

I did not understand why I had enjoyed that, but I knew that I did.

I knew that Randy had taught me some things about my life and my needs that night. I knew that I would never be the same again.

And I tried to think of why I would like being knocked about and abused like that.

But I did not have time to think for long.

In just a few minutes, I heard the girl moaning in the car that was close to me.

"Oh, Leroy," she said in a sleepy voice. "Slam it to me, Leroy. You are so good on the playing field, Leroy, and you are so fucking good in my cunt."

I stiffened. I was alert. I knew that my brother, my big brother that I had always worshipped, was there in that car with some girl.

But that was not his car. I studied it, and I tried to remember where I had seen that car before. And then it hit me. He was in the car of Mrs. Mabel Pearson, the mother of one of his good friends in school.

He was not there with a teen-aged girl at all. Mabel Pearson was a beautiful woman of forty or so. I knew her, but I would never have thought that she would have come out there with Leroy and fucked him.

"Slam it to me, Leroy," she said. "Give me that fucking cock, Leroy. Give it to me."

And Leroy slammed away. I could hear him grunting then.

And I felt the need to go up to that car and look.

I stood up very slowly and I felt my legs tremble under me.

I knew that I would have to do it. I knew that I wanted to see my brother fucking away in Mabel's cunt.

I moved quietly from the woods and into the nigger clearing. I slipped up to that car and I knelt there and took a deep breath. Then I slowly raised my eyes up to the window and I saw them there.

My brother was lying on top of Mabel Pearson in the front seat and her black legs were around him. I looked at my brother's muscles as they worked in his back and in his ass.

He was grunting and she was sighing and kissing his neck.

And I remember thinking that Mabel Pearson was a very lucky woman.

"Give it to me, Leroy. Give me that fucking prick. Slam it into me, Leroy. Give it to me. Oh, god, I love it," she said in gasps.

I watched my brother with that woman and studied the muscles that flexed and rippled in the back of his body and I could understand why Mabel Pearson would love it. My brother was a muscled, young, black god, and she was one very lucky black housewife.

And I felt my own pussy tremble and quake as I looked at that. Then I dropped down by the car and I sat there and I put my hand on my tit and squeezed it.

I closed my eyes and I thought about what Randy had done to me.

And, in my mind, Leroy took the place of Randy, the white boy.

That would be the ultimate fever, I thought, the ultimate joy, if my own stud brother would knock me around and make me suck his cock. I thought of what it would feel like, and I imagined Leroy, approaching me, angry and naked. I imagined Leroy slipping toward me out of a fog and glaring down at me and calling me names.

And then he would hit me. Leroy was a big, strong, young man. I knew that his blows would send even more fever and pain through .me than Randy's had.

And I wanted those blows. Oh, god, how I wanted them!

"Yes!" I heard Mabel Pearson cry. "Yes! Yes! Leroy, come in my cunt!"

And I knew that they would soon be finished with their fucking. I knew that I should get out of there before they stopped fucking and looked up. I did not want them to catch me. But I was trembling too much to move. I felt like a fish that was flopping around on dry land, a nigger fish, the kind of fish that no one would actually eat.

And I listened to Mabel Pearson squeal and my brother grunt.

Those were such sexy sounds, animal sounds that came from inside that car, and they fell on my ears and made me even more excited as I listened to those sounds.

"Leroy! Leroy! You are so fucking good!" Mabel Pearson yelled.

And then there was silence, deathly silence. I felt stronger in the silence of the Fucking Woods and I slowly stood up.

And that was when Mabel Pearson screamed.

"My god! Leroy, someone is watching us!"

I turned and I ran for the darkest part of the woods, but I heard Mabel Pearson behind me, moaning and crying.

"Oh, Leroy, if someone finds out-if my husband finds out-Leroy, what will I do?"

"Don't worry. I will catch them," Leroy grunted.

And I heard the car door open and I ran like hell into those woods.

But then I stopped. I stopped and turned around.

I could see my big brother pulling on his pants as he crashed through those woods.

I wanted him to catch me there, you see. I wanted to confront my brother with what I knew and tell him about the other things that I knew-about myself. I wanted my brother to knock the shit out of me with anger.

It was as simple as that. I just felt the need in my mind and I knew that, if I let him catch me, he would hit me good.

So I stood there and Leroy caught up with me. He glared at me.

"Melody. Was that you out there looking into that car?"

"Yes, Leroy," I said, looking at his big, black chest. "I saw all."

I studied the muscles that rippled in that chest. He had not had time to put his shirt on. :

And he was heaving with anger and with tension. He stood there like an overworked animal.

And I moved toward him and touched the crotch of his pants.

"I saw all, Big Brother," I said softly. "I saw all and I liked it."

Leroy backed up from me and looked at me with panic in his eyes, "What the fuck you talking about?" he muttered.

"I want you, Leroy," I said. "I want you just like Mabel Pearson wanted you."

But, actuaDy, even as I said that, I knew that that was not the truth. I wanted my brother in a way that that other woman did not want him. I wanted Leroy to hit me and then fuck me. I wanted both pain and pleasure from that stud that I had worshipped for so long.

And then I thought that I would tell him about what happened to me.

I thought that that would give my big brother some it' as about how I liked to be treated.

"I have been on the other side of the woods with four white boys, Leroy," I said.

"What? White boys?" he muttered. I could tell that he was still not sure of himself.

I could still see the panic and the anxiety in his eyes.

But I would tell him my story, I determined, and that would make everything all right between us.

"I fucked three of those boys. I like to fuck white boys. They always look down on me and call me names while they fuck me, and I like that, Leroy. I really do like it."

"What you talking about, Melody?" he asked. "You should stay away from white boys."

"No, I won't. Not after tonight," I told him. "I have fucked white boys before but tonight was special because one of those white boys-the fourth one and the best one-he wouldn't fuck me. He climbed into the back seat with me and he hit me."

"What?" my brother yelled. "Tell me his name! I will beat that son-of-a-bitch-"

"No, Leroy," I said, holding up my hands. "Don't beat him. I liked it when he beat me and hit me and called me names. Then he made me suck his cock and he came in my mouth and I swallowed all of that come and that felt good. Leroy, it really did feel good."

"Damn it, Melody, you are sick or something," my brother said.

"No," I said.

And then I remembered that one of those white boys had said that Randy was sick for what he did to me. Randy knew that he was not sick and I knew that I was not sick either. I was just different. The beating had answered something that was in the core of me.

And then I remembered that I had to get a similar beating from my brother. I knew that I would not be able to live, now, unless I shared this special thing with my stud brother.

So I threatened Leroy. It was the only thing that I could think of.

"Leroy," I said, "I am going to tell everyone that you fucked Mabel Pearson. I am going to tell Mister Pearson and I am going to tell

Mamma too."

"No, Melody," he said, staggering back. "Don't do that."

"I will."

And then I just stood there and let Leroy have a chance to get really angry. I smiled at him and I let the news sink in. Sure enough, Leroy started to burn with anger.

He started to shake and he muttered to me fiercely.

"You ain't gonna tell nobody nothing, Melody," he said.

"I sure will, Leroy," I said, taunting him.

I could tell that it was working, that he was almost ready to explode with anger.

And I wanted that explosion. I wanted Leroy to get so mad that he hit me. I knew that, one he hit me, things would work out. He would feel the kind of thing that I wanted him to feel and that would make everything worthwhile between us.

"I am going to tell, Leroy," I said. "I really am going to tell."

"No, you're not," he snarled.

And he reached out with both of his hands and he grabbed my shoulders.

He pulled me to him and he shook me hard and I squealed. But the shaking was not enough. I knew that. I wanted him to hit me good. So I taunted him so more, even as he showed me his strength with that shaking. "I will tell. I will. I will. I will."

"No!" he yelled.

And then he moved his hands off my shoulders and slapped me hard.

I fell to my knees and held my face in my hands, but I still muttered it.

"I will tell, Leroy. I will tell them all about you and Mabel Pearson."

And Leroy exploded in rage, just the way that I knew that he would.

He reached down and put his hands around my throat and he pushed me back as he fell on top of me.

He started to choke me, to knock the wind out of my lungs and he snarled at me as he did that.

"You won't tell, Melody. You won't tell. I will make sure that you-"

And then he seemed to come to his senses, and he pulled his hands away from me.

My blouse had fallen open. I was not wearing my bra. I had left that in Randy's car. I had figured that he and the other boys could use it to remember me by.

"God, Melody," my brother said. "God, I am sorry."

I put my hand on my black tit and I smiled up at him.

"Fuck me, Leroy," I said, still gasping for air. "Fuck me and I won't tell."

I knew that I had that stud of a man just where I wanted him. I knew that he would have to fuck me.

But I knew that he would be confused by my request.

So I stopped taunting him and threatening him. I started to tempt him with my sexy body.

I put my fingers on my nipple and I sighed to my brother.

"See, Leroy," I said. "See that sexy nipple. A white boy sucked that nipple tonight and another white boy twisted it and hurt me. And I liked it when he did it, Leroy. I liked the sucking, but I liked the twisting and the hurting more. Go ahead, Leroy. Twist my nipple. It will do you good."

And my big brother reached out and put his hand on my tit.

He just lay that massive, strong hand on my flesh for a second.

I knew that Leroy was still a little confused, a little threatened by the fact that I was his little sister. He was probably thinking that I was sexy, but he was also thinking that I might be sick to want that kind of treatment, especially from my own brother.

But that was the kind of treatment that I desired, and I could think of no better person than Leroy to give it to me. I sighed to him again and put a pleading tone in my voice.

"Go ahead, Leroy. Twist that nipple. Twist that thing and hurt me, Big Brother."

And then, with a bit of hesitation, he put his fingers on that nipple and pinched it.

And I jerked and I sighed with lust. I trembled there on the ground.

"Yes, Leroy," I said. "More. More. More. Try to rip that sucker off."

And I could see that tension in my brother's handsome, broad face.

I knew that he would do it if I would just tempt him some more.

"Do it, Leroy," I sighed. "Rip it. Rip that fucking, nigger nipple off. I am just a nigger whore. Hurt me, Leroy. Hurt your sister. Hurt me. I am just a nigger bitch, a nigger slut, a nigger-"

That was as far as I got. That was all that Leroy needed.

He grabbed that tit and he pulled on it as hard as he could.

And the pain shot through me and I loved it. I squirmed there on the ground as he twisted on that nipple and let the rage show in his face. I reached out and I touched the hardness in his pants. He had just fucked Mabel Pearson, but I knew that I could get him up if I tried. I knew that I could do it because I was his own little sister and what I was demanding of him was too kinky and too wonderful to be denied.

'That's right, Leroy," I moaned. "Hurt this little, nigger bitch and then fuck her. Hurt her and fuck the shit out of her. She is your own little sister, Leroy. Fuck this nigger slut who fucks white boys for fun."

"Shut up!" my big brother yelled.

And he slapped me hard across the face with all of his fury.

"Stop calling yourself that, Melody!" he yelled.

But I knew that I was getting just the kind of treatment that.I wanted from him.

"I am a nigger, Leroy," I said. "I am a nigger bitch, and you are a nigger stud."

I ran my hand over the hardness in his pants and I knew that he could not get up and walk away from me now. His black, brotherly lust would not allow it.

"Fuck me!" I yelled.

But he slapped me again, hard, and then he put both of his hands on my tits and he twisted both of my nipples as he snarled at me.

"Shut up. Shut up. For God's sake, have some self-respect, Melody. Shut up with that kind of talk. Shut up. For God's sake, I am your brother."

He was trying to talk me out of it, but he was giving me the pain that I wanted, and I knew that Leroy would not be able to refuse me now.

When he finally took his hands off my nipples, I reached out and unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. I started to massage it and my brother groaned. He lifted his eyes to the dark, night sky and he seemed to surrender to me.

"All right," he said. "Do it to me, Melody. Just don't use those words any more."

And I knew that I would not have to use those words. I knew that I did not need them now.

I moved across the ground and lifted my head and sucked my brother's big, black cock into my mouth.

I tasted the come that was still on that cock and I tasted a feminine tang too, and I knew that that was the tang of Mabel Pearson's pussy.

But I also knew that I had something that Mabel Pearson did not get. I had my brother's anger.

He had hit me and he had never hit Mabel Pearson, I thought.

And now I was sucking on his cock and it was growing in my mouth, growing and lengthening as Leroy started to moan to me.

At that point, it seemed, the brother in him died and the stud took over. The sexiness of my mouth on his cock gave him something that he liked so much that he lost some of the guilt that he felt.

"Yeah, suck it," he said. "Suck that cock. Suck it good. Yeah, use your mouth on me."

And I did that happily. I sucked on his rod until it was hard and strong again.

And then I lay back and pulled down my shorts and lay there with my legs spread. My pussy felt like it was bubbling. I was that turned on.

"Give it to me, Big Brother." I said. "Fuck my nigger cunt with your nigger cock."

And then he hit me again, slapped me hard.

"I will fuck you, Melody," he said. "But don't say those words again. And don't tell anyone about Mabel and me."

"All right," I said. "All right."

I would agree to any of his demands in order to get him in my pussy.

And then my brother moved over me and I touched his black prick and I pulled it into my cunt. I sighed and lifted my legs around him and Leroy slammed it into me.

That was the night that everything seemed to change. And I kept my promise to Leroy. I did not use the term, nigger, any more in front of him, and I did not tell anyone about his fucking of Mabel Pearson. But he never fucked me again after that night. In fact, he seemed to avoid being in the same room with me when we were at home together.

And that hurt me. As much as I remembered that fucking that he had given me with joy, I was hurt because I knew that I would never have something like that with my brother again.

And Birmingham was still a dull, dull city for me.

So, soon after that night, I packed my bags and left for the north, to see the snow.

It was in New York City that I had found the pleasures of heroin.

But that was another story, another sexy story that made me what I am today.