Chapter 4
There was a moment of silence, and Gayle knew that Sue was struggling with a thought that she hesitated to express in words, and then at last she looked up at Gayle, and her face was quite pink but there was a dogged determination in her eyes.
"Gayle, do you think that a man and woman should be intimate before they're married?" she blurted.
Gayle stiffened a little and anger followed the startled surprise in her eyes.
"Why ask me? Do you think I'm an expert in sexual matters because of vast experience?" she flashed hotly.
Sue looked so honestly taken aback, so appalled by Gayle's words that she gasped, and for a moment she seemed about ten years old.
"Oh, golly, no! Golly, Gayle!" she gasped in swift dismay. "How could you possibly think I meant that? Golly, Gayle-I only meant-well, you've been in New York, working as a model; and you were always a darned sight smarter than I can ever hope to be; and there isn't anybody here that I'd ask such a question; or whose advice I'd take if I did scrape up courage enough to ask it. And I thought you and I were always 'best friends' and-well, I'm sort of-uneasy-"
Gayle's mouth was a thin, contemptuous line.
"Bride's jitters? Don't let it scare you, Sue. Every bride has them-"
Sue looked terribly relieved.
"Do they? I thought maybe it was something wrong about me!" she confessed almost humbly. "I just simply adore being made love to by Clyde; I get all excited and breathless and suddenly-just being kissed and-and caressed isn't-enough. And-well, when that happens, Clyde just sort of pushes me away from him and-well, takes a little walk or something. And-well, when he does that I'm terribly disappointed; so disappointed I can hardly breathe. But-I'm-relieved, too!"
Gayle stared at her in simple astonishment. Was it possible any girl could be so innocent in this day and time? Innocent, hell! She was just a plain damned little fool! Nobody could be that much of a dope-surely Sue couldn't have reached her present age-let's see, how old was she, twenty-two?-without some brush with sexual experience.
Gayle studied her sharply, shrewdly, convinced that it was just an act that Sue was trying out on her to use later, perhaps on Clyde after the wedding ceremony in case she decided that yielding to him his marital rights was too much bother and a messy unpleasant business altogether. Some women, Gayle had heard, felt like that about sex.
Sue asked anxiously, "Do you think, Gayle, that maybe there is something wrong with me? That I'm-well-frigid?"
Gayle grinned and then turned away before Sue could see that cynical grin.
She hesitated a long moment before she answered, her mind working busily. There was a wonderful opportunity here for her to get in some good licks, and maybe do herself some good. But it was tricky business, like walking on eggs and she had to be very darned careful not to louse up the whole works.
"Do you, Gayle-think I'm frigid, I mean?" asked Sue anxiously at last when Gayle still stood with her back turned, her eyes on the dying sunset that spilled prodigal gold over the lawn and the old trees.
"I don't know, Sue," said Gayle at last and she turned, her voice very sweet and gentle, a look of affectionate concern in her smoky eyes. "I just don't know enough about such things to be able to judge. But I do know that for a woman who is frigid, marriage is just plain hell. And I'd hate terribly to see you get mixed up in anything like that!"
Sue looked ready to cry.
"But I love Clyde kissing me-" she stammered.
"Only once Clyde is your husband, pet, he's not going to be satisfied with kissing you-or had you stopped to think of that?" asked Gayle drily.
Sue's face was scarlet and her eyes would not quite meet Gayle's.
"I'm-afraid to-" she stammered.
"Afraid to try sleeping with Clyde?" Gayle put it into brutal words, disgusted with the other girl's shying away from plain words.
"Afraid to-think about it," confessed Sue miserably. "Sometimes, I want it so terribly that it-just tears me to pieces. And then I-dread it so that it makes me actually nauseated and I don't feel I could endure it. Oh, Gayle, what am I going to do?"
The last came in a little wail and Sue hid her face in her hands.
Gayle looked down at her for a long moment, her eyes derisive, her mouth an ugly twisted line.
Of all the damned stupid little fools!
It could happen, this sort of thing, only in a town like Claresville, where "sex" was a word rigidly ignored by the "nice women" of Sue's class. Something that men enjoyed, the crass, earthly brutes, but that "nice" women only endured with a lady-like reluctance. Even though the "nice" women enjoyed it as much as the men, custom demanded that they pretend a delicate attitude of being attacked every time a husband demanded his marital rights!
Gayle knew enough about the Claresville standards by which Sue had been brought up to believe that Sue was being completely honest with her. That Sue was not, as Gayle first believed, putting on an act.
Sue had been carefully sheltered from birth from the faintest chill wind of reality. She was wrapped up in cotton-wool and surrounded by the best of her father's wealth and social standing could provide, which was plenty! Protected from anything "ugly"-and what a hell of a lot of the rough-and-tumble of life, as Gayle had seen it, the Leslies would consider ugly and unfit for their darling child to see or recognize.
Gayle told herself, as she studied Sue's heaving shoulders, her bent golden head, that of course Mrs. Leslie had given her cherished child a carefully expurgated, nauseatingly prettied-up version of the facts of life-in which, Gayle was drily certain, the birds and bees played a predominant part! Perhaps Mrs. Leslie went so far as to admit that all babies weren't delivered by that kindly, badly overworked long-legged bird, the stork. But Gayle felt certain Mrs. Leslie had at least hinted that Sue had been found beside a rosebush, or something equally asinine!
Sue lifted a face that was touched by tears, but even lovelier thereby. Her blue eyes were dark and drowned and frightened.
"Am I-am I-a bad woman, Gayle?" she asked childishly, humbly.
Gayle's winged eyebrows went up a little.
"Why ask me? I'm a stranger in town," she said drily.
"I mean-am I bad because sometimes I want to-to-sleep with Clyde?" stammered Sue in dark confusion and embarrassment.
"If you plan to marry the guy, I think you should figure that occasionally, being a fairly normal guy from what I've seen of him, he would expect it of you!" said Gayle drily.
Sue considered that for a moment, her eyes falling away from Gayle's, and her color deepening until it was an almost ugly red.
"I-well, I want to-part of the time," she confessed in a little rush of words as though anxious to get it all said before she lost her courage and shame swallowed up her need for comfort. "And then sometimes when I think of-" she shuddered and her color faded until she was quite pale.
Gayle stared at her for a long moment and then she sighed and shook her lovely head.
"Sometimes I wonder and wonder about things," she admitted. "But I never expected to run into things like this-oh, I've heard of bride's jitters before the wedding day-and-brides being rushed to the hospital after the good old wedding night for emergency appendectomies-" she broke off, hiding a small pleased grin at the sheer terror in Sue's eyes.
"Oh-Gayle-no! It-it can't be-as bad as that-or nobody would get married, ever!" she stammered, alarmed and shaking.
Gayle hesitated for a long moment and suddenly there was a gleam of almost wicked mirth in her eyes, before she vanquished it and dropped down on the chaise lounge beside Sue, her manner one of sweet, comforting girlish confidence.
"Of course," she said gently, her voice deep and rich and sweet, "I don't know much about this sort of thing. I've never been a bride, so I don't know anything about bride's jitters. But-if I were in your place-you want to stay married to this Clyde fellow, don't you?"
"Oh, yes!" Sue was radiant at the thought. "You should see the darling house his parents have given us-a ranch type out on Lake Aim and with a swimming pool-oh, just a little one, of course!-and four acres of land; and the gardens are being planted and the shrubbery-and Clyde and I want children-" there was a touch of panic in her eyes at the thought.
"Then-I can see only one thing for you to do," said Gayle gently.
Sue looked at her almost fearfully.
"Try it out with him before the wedding," said Gayle softly.
Sue gasped and her eyes flew wide and she shrank from Gayle in shocked amazement
"Oh--Gayle!" she breathed as though she could not, dared not believe her ears. "Why, that-that would be-"
"A nice way to find out whether or not you and the guy are-well, soul-mates, shall we say?" Gayle's lovely mouth was thin-lipped. "Being soul-mates is just dandy-but believe me, Baby, being body-mates is a hell of a sight more important in a happy marriage! Unless you enjoy sleeping with your husband, you're not going to have much fun out of marriage! Because you'd be surprised-or would you, I wonder?-how much a new husband can expect of his bride!"
Sue was shrinking, appalled.
"Though I have to admit that there's not too much sleeping done, in the first few weeks anyway," Gayle admitted drily.
Sue was looking at her in horrified amazement
"Oh, but Gayle-" she stammered a little and steadied her voice with an effort "That-why, that's-awful! Clyde's-he's-oh, he's not like that at all!"
Gayle grinned at her sardonically.
"Want to bet?" she asked grimly. "Why not hunt up one of his old girl friends-perhaps in a house here in town-and ask her?"
Sue blinked and swallowed.
"You mean-you mean-Clyde's-been going to a-a-house?"
Gayle straightened and there was a glint of amazement and anger in her eyes.
"Look here, Sue, is this an act you're putting on?" she demanded in sharp suspicion. "Because it's a little more than even I can take-and I've known you since you were in diapers, practically and I know how shielded you've been, you poor little devil, but now don't tell me you think a man like Clyde reaches his present years without having had relations with women? Male virgins, pet, are few and far between above the age of fifteen!"
Sue thought about that for a moment and then she shivered.
"That's-that's horrible," she stammered at last.
"You damned little fool-it's wonderful! No sane woman could face the prospect of being married to a man who was going to learn all about sex from her! Take it from me-you wouldn't like it, pet-you wouldn't like it a damned bit!" Gayle said grimly.
Sue studied her for a moment, shrinking a Utile.
"You-you've grown-hard, Gayle," she stammered faintly.
Gayle stood up in a single lithe, graceful motion and stood at her fuU height, looking down at Sue, her eyes cold.
"I have been out in the world, standing toe to toe with realities and earning my own living, while you've been living here like alike a queen bee that doesn't even know when winter comes!" she snapped almost violently.
Sue put out an eager, shy hand and touched Gayle's in a little coaxing gesture of conciliation.
"Don't be cross with me, Gayle honey," she pleaded and Gayle told herself she sounded about five years old and not very bright. "It's just that-well, nobody ever talked like that to me before-"
"It's long past time when somebody did, then, my pet!" said Gayle shortly. "You're heading straight for a mess with this new husband of yours if somebody doesn't give you a few tips."
"Oh, I know, Gayle, I know," protested Sue earnestly. "And I'm terribly grateful-just terribly grateful"
Gayle nodded and turned away.
"If I'm going to clean up for dinner, I'd better get unpacked," she said over her shoulder.
"Oh, Mattie will do that for you, darling," said Sue eagerly and touched the bell. "I'll run along and-Gayle--thanks for everything."
"Think nothing of it, pal," said Gayle drily.
And when the door had closed behind Sue, Gayle stood straight and stared at the door for a long moment, and then she chuckled and brushed the tips of her fingers delicately together with a little satisfied air, her eyes gleaming with bitter mirth. She had set a train of events in motion and where they would lead was anybody's guess. But she wasn't the "shameless hussy" Harlan had called her if she couldn't manage to turn some of those events to her own benefit!