Chapter 7
George was trembling as he got into the taxi cab. Trying to sound casual, he said, "The Closet, please."
The driver, an older man who needed a shave, turned in his seat and looked at George.
"Funny," he said and turned away.
George remained silent as the cab pulled away from the curb.
"I say it's funny, because you don't look like a fruit to me," he said.
"I beg your pardon," George said. He was suddenly feeling very defensive. Realizing the tone of his voice, he settled back again.
"Oh, don't get me wrong," the driver said. "I always say you do what you want just so's you lay off the little kids, ya know? But what I meant was, Fin usually good at spotting the fruits and you just don't look fruity to me."
"Maybe you only spot the obvious ones," George said.
"Don't get me wrong, huh? I meant no offense."
They drove on for awhile in silence. George wanted to tell the driver not to call them "fruits," but he was afraid of sounding like an indignant homosexual himself.
"I got nothing against 'em personally," the driver started up again. "Matter of fact, some nights I look for one especially. Sometimes I'll get a cocksucker to take care of me and then we call it even on the fare. You know what I mean?"
"I'm afraid I do," George muttered. He couldn't imagine even the most depraved fairy on his knees before the ugly bastard. He was angry, but he was angry most of all at himself for failing to reach out and slug the driver.
"The way I figure it is by sucking my cock, they're doing what they was made to do."
George bit his tongue and looked out the window. He was surprised to see they were driving into what appeared to be the rough waterfront district. For a moment he suspected that the driver was taking him to an isolated spot to roll him. He sat up and put Ms hand on the back of the front seat. "Is this the right way?" he asked sternly.
"Yup. Gotta hand it to you guys, being so sissified and all."
The cab stopped and George looked up at a discrete sign: The Closet. He reached for his wallet "Hey, you know what I was saving about the fare?"
"Yes," George said as he riffled through his wallet for a small bill.
"Well, I could stand to get my rocks off," the driver said.
George looked at the man. He was smiling at George with teeth which were even more decayed than those of the redheaded whore he had unsuccessfully tried to bang.
"You're joking," George said.
"Look, Mac," he said and glanced towards his crotch. George followed the direction of his eyes. The driver was tightly squeezing his crotch. "I got my hands on something that ain't no joke."
George dropped the money onto the front "Drive around the corner and jack off," he said.
"Why you lousy queer, you think you're too good to suck a real man's cock?"
"Fuck off," George said. His voice was angry and had a sudden depth to it which even startled him. The driver turned away from him and indignantly scooped up the money.
When George had gotten out of the cab and was approaching the door of the bar, the driver leaned out his window and shouted, "Fucking queer!"
Then he stepped on the gas and roared down the street.
George was stunned. He stood on the sidewalk for a moment to catch his breath. He didn't understand at an what was happening to him, what had begun to happen just a few days earlier when he banged Veronica after she had gotten fucked by that kid at the gas station. Was he really queer? He had enjoyed the thrill of being blown in a public rest room, he had failed miserably with a professional woman, he had allowed himself to be insulted by a cab driver until it bad finally become unbearable. He wondered if it had become unbearable simply because it was true. He had, after all, crossed the country to see Philip whom he had sucked off during his freshman year of college.
There was a general burst of laughter and music as someone opened the door of the bar and stepped out onto the sidewalk. The man didn't look like a "fruit" In fact, he looked ordinary except that he was meticulously groomed and had an air of studied casualness. The man smiled at George and George was aware of a probing look in the eyes which stared out at him. He lowered his head and walked past the man towards the bar.
"Sorry about that," the man snapped as George pushed open the door and stepped inside.
George was immediately enveloped by warm, smoke-filled air. The speakers of the juke box blared loudly above the chattering crowd milling about. The bar was packed, and he suddenly felt he might never find Philip in such a throng. Feeling that he might at any moment be attacked by the depraved crowd, he looked around cautiously and realized that everyone was dressed with the same deliberate casualness. Only he wore a suit, and he suddenly felt out of place and uncomfortable. People glanced his way from time to time; some of them smiled at him, some of them turned their backs. No one displayed any interest in either attacking him sexually or in driving him from the bar as an intruder. He suddenly realized that the crowd, if it had been aware of his presence at all, had accepted him as a member. Taking a deep breath, he pushed through the milling crowd towards the bar itself.
He passed by an especially loud group. The members of the group would burst into laughter and then they all glanced around as if to make sure that everyone else was aware of their fun. George paused. The laughing face of a blond man had caught his attention. The features had not changed but they had slackened somewhat so that the soft good looks appeared now to be a slightly petulant baby face. He was about to speak when Philip looked up and saw him.
"George!" he shouted. "Well, I'll be damned." He pushed through his friends and came up to George. He placed a hand on George's arm.
"Philip," he murmured. "It's so good to see you again."
"George, you old bastard. Let me look at you!" Philip stepped back as much as possible and looked at George. As he did so, George noticed that although Philip's face had slackened somewhat he had retained his trim, athletic figure. The eyes, too, were different-sparkling still but with a restlessness in them that George had not noticed when they were roommates.
"You look the same," George said. "Except for the eyes."
"Oh, my, yes," Philip laughed. "It's how we recognize each other." He waved his arm vaguely and George realized that the men in the bar did, in fact, all have the same expression in their eyes. He didn't quite recognize it, however.
"George, what are you doing here?" He squeezed George's arm and George felt a sensation like a mild electric shock travel up his arm.
"To see you," he said.
"My, that sounds serious." Philip smiled, the corners of his mouth turned down in a way that might have been interpreted as either sad or ironic. "Let's get out of here. Okay?"
"Okay?" George said. He suddenly felt very relaxed and happy. Whatever it was he wanted from Philip was slowly coming into focus. It went beyond the prick which had stiffened again and was caught in an awkward position within his shorts. As Philip turned away to say something to his group of friends, George quickly reached down and straightened out his cock which surged upwards gratefully.
"Phyllis, who is your trick?" someone shouted.
Philip didn't answer. He turned to George with an embarrassed smile and led the way through the crowd.
The cool night air felt good to George. He stopped outside the door and breathed deeply.
"I don't live far from here," Philip said. "Want to walk?"
"Yes."
"George, I've wanted to call you and I started to do it several times, but I always stopped."
"Oh?" George did not really concentrate on the conversation. He was trying to understand what was churning in his mind. It was involved with Philip and the urgent ache in his balls but sex was only a part of it, although a necessary part What was it? He turned and looked at Philip. Philip was gazing away from George, his blond hair moving slightly in the sea breeze. He had a strange compulsion that made him shudder and look away quickly. He wanted both to kiss Philip and to ram his fist into his mouth.
"I wanted to apologize," Philip said and stopped walking. He turned to face George.
"Apologize?" George asked. He searched Philip's face and at last recognized the quality in the eyes which Philip shared with the men in The Closet: loneliness. He looked away and began walking again.
"Well, I treated you-pretty shitty during that year."
"Forget it," George said quickly.
"I can't, George. I treated you shitty because I hated myself."
"Yourself?" He turned to Philip. What was he saying. Why should he have hated himself?
"Well, to begin with I rigged the lottery so that I would draw you for a roommate. I didn't know why I did it until the end of the year. Then I began to realize that, even though I didn't have to do it according to the rules, I wanted to do to you what you had to do to me. In short, I realized I was gay and rather than punish myself I tried to make you pay for it"
There was a long pause. George said nothing, his mind and heart were racing. Philip had wanted him!
"I'm sorry, George. Really."
They had reached the steps of a broken down apartment building. Philip quickly stepped in front to lead the way up. Again George experienced the overpowering wish to both caress and to punch Philip. He shook the urge out of his mind and stepped into the hallway behind Philip.
The man who had answered the phone earlier that evening was not at home. George was startled by the apartment. It was ornate, rich looking with flocked wallpaper and massive potted plants.
"Nice place," he said sincerely.
"George, haven't you heard how clever we all are?" He turned to George with a smile and George saw a flash of irony compound the loneliness in Philip's blue eyes.
"Now that I've shot off my mouth as usual," Philip said. "You said you wanted to see me?"
George felt the pressure of his cock clamped against Ms skin by the jockey shorts. Despite the strong sexual need, he had the distinct impression he wasn't telling the whole truth when he smiled and said, "A repeat performance."
"Serious?" Philip said and George realized Philip was suspicious, that he had not accepted George's statement at face value.
"Serious."
Philip breathed deeply and continued looking at George. "Okay," he said suddenly and turned towards a closed door.
The door opened to Philip's bedroom. When they were both inside he hung a 'Do Not Disturb' sign onto the knob and pushed the door dosed.
"Well, here we are," he said.
"Philip," George said. "I should apologize to you, if apologies were at all necessary, because I have only just this minute realized that I was in love with you."
Philip's head shot up. The expression in his eyes had changed, become clarified. He stepped forward and their mouths met.
Philip drew away and removed George's jacket and turned away to hang it up.
"Just drop it on the floor," George said, surprised at how thickened his voice sounded.
Then Philip loosened the knot of George's tie and removed it. He began unbuttoning George's shirt from the top. He pulled the shirt free of George's pants and, as he slipped it over his shoulders, he leaned forward and ran the tip of his tongue over George's nipple. George closed his eyes and threw his head back, his mouth shut tightly.
Philip dropped to his knees and undid the laces of George's shoes. George lifted one leg at a time, leaning onto Philip's shoulder, as the shoes and socks were pulled off. He was wearing only his trousers and under-shorts now, standing with his legs apart, with Philip on his knees in front of him.
Philip undid the belt buckle, running his other hand over George's crotch as he did so. Then he unbuttoned the waist and pulled George's pants down to his knees. For a moment he stared at the lump which pulsated beneath the cotton shorts. George watched intently as Philip reached behind and slid the jockey shorts over the cheeks of George's ass, pulling them down to his knees. Then Philip took the swollen head of George's cock into his mouth and massaged the sensitive flesh with his strong tongue. Moving forward, he took the entire length into his mouth, clutching onto the cheeks of George's hands and pushing them forward, trying to drive even more of the prick into his mouth.
George's legs began to tremble. In addition to the thrill of seeing Philip on his knees sucking his cock, Philip was a better cocksucker than either Veronica or the young man that morning in the airport terminal. He wished he had more than his seven inches. He wished he had more cock to ram into Philip's mouth. Holding Philip's head firmly, George drew his prick out until just the head was inside Philip's mouth. Philip ran his tongue around the head and then slowly brushed it with his teeth. George sucked in his breath and rammed his cock into the mouth, feeling as if his trembling legs could no longer support him. Philip moaned and dug his fingers into the cheeks of George's ass.
Then George released Philip's head and stepped back, nearly losing his balance.
"Get undressed," he said and fell across the bed.
Philip stood up and quickly began to remove his clothing. He had not lost the trim figure at all. In the half-light of the room his muscles glinted as they had so many years before when he had been George's sexual master. His body was smooth and covered with blond down which went unnoticed except for the areas where it was concentrated. George dropped his eyes towards Philip's cock, wondering if his tool, too, had retained its youthful vigor and attraction. Philip was wearing semi-transparent bikini briefs. His enormous shaft pushed up against the nylon fabric. As he moved towards the bed, George wondered what it was like to feel nylon hugging one's cock rather than the cotton he usually wore. When Philip reached the side of the bed, George sat up on the edge.
Philip was standing in front of him and George looked at the hard muscles of his stomach. He lifted his aims and ran his hands down Philip's side, stopping when he reached his hips. Then he lowered his eyes towards the crotch. Philip's prick was hard, the sheer nylon fabric stretched tautly over it Then George lowered Philip's shorts, reaching inside them with one hand to free the cock. The prick stood out straight, looking exactly as George remembered it, like a pillar of polished marble rising out of a soft patch of blond hair. George moaned, closed his eyes and moved forward, feeling the cock slip into his mouth. For a moment he stopped, his lips pressed up against the base of Philip's prick, his hands tightly clutching the solid cheeks of Philip's ass.
Then Philip drew his ass back and, with his cock half in George's mouth, began rotating his hips.
"Suck. Suck. Sack," he murmured and then he slid it in to the hilt again.
George drew back and patted the bed, motioning Philip to He down. Philip kicked off his shorts and stretched out onto the bed. George crawled on top of him, allowing his full weight to rest on top of Philip. It was a new sensation to feel two cocks pressed between his body and that of his partner, and George savored it fully. Both of thenpricks were slippery from the sucking they had done, and George jabbed his ass forward, thrilling to the cock sliding between their stomachs. He lifted his head and groaned.
Philip put his hands behind George's head and pulled George forward. For a moment George hesitated, but the damage had already been done. He allowed Philip to bring his head closer, but at last George realized why he had had to be with Philip again. He knew that he was not homosexual. He closed his eyes with relief and then he gave himself up to the warm, probing tongue in his mouth. If anything, Philip kissed even better than he sucked cock.
George took his mouth away from Philip's and ran his tongue down the side of Philip's neck towards the shoulder. As he moved his tongue lower and lower, he kept moving his slippery cock between their stomachs, thrilling whenever his cock rubbed against Philip's. At the shoulder, George half-sucked, half-bit the flesh until Philip jerked wildly and pushed him away. Then he moved on towards his chest, sliding his body lower and lower until Ms chest rested across Philip's hard-on and his mouth was just above the navel. He began lapping at Philip's body while Philip moaned and tossed about.
Then at last George was at the prick again, sprawled on his stomach between Philip's spread legs. He took the head into his mouth and, following Philip's earlier example, alternately massaged the head with his tongue and gently scraped it with his teeth. Philip shuddered and thrust his pelvis upwards. George raised himself up and took the whole cock into his mouth, feeling himself break into a mild sweat as thrill after thrill passed through his body.
He continued sucking at Philip's cock until Philip suddenly grabbed onto the side of his head and pulled him away from his prick. The prick jerked beneath him, and then settled back along Philip's stomach.
"I don't want to come yet," Philip gasped. "It feels too good."
George shifted his position and got onto his hands and knees so he was over Philip's crotch and his own prick hung in front of Philip's face. Philip's hands moved up around George's waist and he lifted himself to take the aching rod into his greedy mouth.
George lowered himself towards Philip's cock. He ran the tip of his tongue along the pulsating underside so the prick lashed out frantically. Then he moved his tongue down to Philip's balls. He took the nuts into his mouth one by one then he drew both of them into his oral cavity. Philip jerked upwards with a thrust of his pelvis and George saw the firm, down-covered cheeks of his ass and had a glimpse of the puckered opening. Letting the balls fall from his mouth, George lowered his head, his tongue moving towards the opening he had glimpsed. Philip, continuing to suck at George's rock-hard dick, dug his feet into the mattress and lifted his ass towards George's probing tongue.
George felt a shudder pass through his body as his tongue found the opening and nudged its way inside. He did not know if the shudder had come from himself or from Philip, who moaned loudly with ecstasy. George knew now what he wanted more than anything else. With one last thrust of his aching tongue, he moved back towards Philip's cock. Then he swung around again and got onto his knees between Philip's legs. As he started to suck Philip's cock again, he moved his right forefinger towards the sensitive anal opening. As his mouth slid down to take Philip's prick to the hilt, he pushed his finger up Philip's ass-hole. Philip lifted himself off the bed, crying out with pleasure, and his prick went rigid in response to the pressure on his prostrate gland.
George's chest began to heave as he frantically sucked Philip's cock while simultaneously fingerfucking him up the ass. He could feel the hair on his head getting damp and matted with perspiration, and he was aware of the strong odor of sex hanging in the air. Philip was out of control now. Hanging onto the back of George's head, he thrust his pelvis up and down, cramming his cock down George's throat. When his back arched, George clamped his mouth completely over Philip's cock and he rammed his finger up Philip's ass way passed the knuckle. Philip cried out loudly, and Ms throbbing prick pumped load after load into George's mouth. George worked the muscles of his throat frantically to keep from choking. For the second time in his life, George swallowed the stringy, bittersweet tasting load of Philip's love juice.
Philip's body began to relax and settle back onto , the mattress. Both he and George were panting as George drew away from Philip's rapidly ebbing cock. When George withdrew his finger from the ass-hole, Philip gasped, then sighed as his body went limp.
"Now, it's my turn," George said.
He got onto his knees between Philip's legs. Grabbing Philip at the back of Ms thighs, George hoisted his legs up into the air. He bent his head and licked at the ass-hole for a few minutes. Then he drew back. Philip reached out and held his own legs up in the air. With one hand George held Philip's balls to one side to reveal the pink bud surrounded by the matted soft down. With his other hand he positioned his cock for entry. His head seemed enormous up against the constricting opening. Then he leaned forward and spit onto the head of his cock, moving it back and forth over the opening. Philip swung his legs over George's shoulders and George pushed his pelvis forward. He felt the head slip up Philip's passage and the warm flesh closed tightly around it. Letting go of his prick, he leaned over Philip, his hands positioned on either side of Philip's head, and with one thrust slipped Ms prick up the ass. Philip took a deep breath and held it a moment. His eyes closed.
George had never felt anything so tight in his life. He flexed his cock, felt it squeeze out against the walls of Philip's passage, and groaned. He pushed in even further, shoving forward against the weight of Philip's legs thrown over his shoulders. Philip worked the muscles of his ass with great skill, sucking at George's stiffened prick as if he was going to pull even George's balls into the hot tunnel. George lifted his ass and pushed forward again. He felt perspiration run down his arms and guessed that it was falling onto Philip's nipples.
George leaned back on his knees and held Philip's legs up and away from him with his hands. Philip reached around and stuffed a pillow under his raised ass. George looked down at the exciting sight Philip's prick had begun to rise, stimulated by the pressure of George's cock against the prostate gland. The prick was inching its way slowly but surely across the lower half of Philip's stomach, moving towards the navel. Below the prick, Philip's balls lay in their blond nest And below that, and most thrilling of all, George looked at his cock half into the pink and expanded opening. He pushed his pelvis forward, shivering with the tightness of the passage and with the sight of his thick shaft disappearing into Philip's ass. He rocked his pelvis back and forth, panting over the sensation, the sight and the smell.
Philip's cock was fully erected now and was struggling to stand up straight in defiance of the law of gravity. George leaned forward at an angle, threw one of Philip's legs over his shoulder and spit into the palm of his free hand. He began to massage Philip's prick with the slippery hand. The upper half of Philip's body jerked upwards with a sudden shiver of ecstasy then he fell back upon the bed, twisting his head from side to side, moaning.
George began to pump furiously. His body tingled with the strain of fucking in the kneeling position and from supporting the weight of Philip's leg with one shoulder. He took his breath in large gulps and his mouth felt dry and rough. As he fucked with a frenzied passion, he continued to pump Philip's cock with his. saliva-coated hand. Every nerve in his body was alive sad throbbing as if exposed. In his throat he made low groans.
Philip half reached up and then fell back with a loud cry. His hot come spurted up and hit George on his sweating stomach. The release of the come severely constricted his anal muscles so that George thrilled to the increased tightness about his priming dick just as his own explosion began. He threw Philip's other leg over his shoulder and fell forward with a loud sound as if the wind had been knocked out of him. As he came forward, his stomach slid up against Philip's own come-covered stomach. His prick continued to shoot waves of hot juice up Philip's ass.
George had never experienced such intensity before, and he realized suddenly that it was because he had never controlled sex with Veronica. With Philip he had run the show. He almost laughed out loud at his folly. Then his prick began to withdraw from the passage that continued to close tightly about the retreating member as if to hang onto it. George lifted his ass and his prick fell out of the small opening with a hissing sound. He rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. Philip sighed, got off the bed and went into the bathroom. He closed the door and turned on the water tap.
George put his hands to his face and laughed silently. He was not homosexual, after all. It was simply that Veronica had refused to let him be a man. It had taken Philip to help George realize that he was very much a man by giving George complete control in bed. He had no doubt he would have sex with other men in the future, because it had been one of the most exciting times of his life. If that made him a bisexual, then he was a bisexual. There was still one important proof he needed, however: a woman who wanted him and who would not deny him his masculinity as Veronica had.
He sat up on the bed, feeling glad to be alive. Strength came, after all, not from being one thing or the other but from knowing what you were and accepting it. He jumped out of bed and walked towards the bathroom door. He had to thank Philip, had to find someway to give back the peace of mind which Philip had inadvertently given him.
He grinned down at his cock, which swung between his legs. He reached down and put his hand around it. He was a man.