Chapter 10
The silence that followed their departure was, for me at least, awkward and strained. Sara didn't seem too disturbed; in fact, she seemed more interested in finding matches for the joint she had in her mouth. She found a book, but it was empty, and she discarded it. Then she found a second book, and she took elaborate pains to open it, tear a match loose, then light the twisted end of her joint. She sucked hard on it, with her mouth open, and the ember glowed redly in the dimness of the dark room. The only other light came from the flickering candle, and it was on top of a bookcase, above eye level. It made the shadows look strange and distorted, as though they were dancing about the room.
Sara held the joint out for me. "You want?"
I shook my head. "No thanks."
She shrugged her shoulders, and returned her attention to smoking.
I had enough to smoke for one night, I knew. And the sinking feeling I had in the pit of my stomach was enough to bring me down very rapidly. I felt betrayed even though I knew I had no right to the feeling. Heather was a friend to me only; nothing more. I did not own her, nor had I any rights over her behavior. Still, I felt wounded and hurt, and I couldn't believe that she could be so cruel and thoughtless. Didn't she care that I had feelings? Or was I deluding myself about her and her virtues? Perhaps what I felt for her, I only thought she felt for me? Perhaps my need was so great that it distorted my senses?
I tried to push the ugly thought from my mind, but I could feel myself crashing rapidly. The room seemed to be swirling around me, flickering like that candle, and I had to grab onto the couch to keep from falling off.
"Are you sure you don't want any?" Sara asked again. The joint was half gone.
I was afraid to test my voice, so I shook my head again.
She smiled, then nodded, as though she understood.
The bedroom was only a few feet away, and I could hear Heather and Lenny as they made love. The bed was squeaking under their bouncing weight, and I could hear the strained, moaning cries of pleasure coming from Heather as her sexual excitement heightened. I had heard those same cries only hours before, and now she was under another man, and she was reacting to his touch. It was so unfair that I was angry enough to cry.
"Do you feel like making it?" Sara asked.
I turned in surprise. "What?"
"Do you feel like making it?" she asked again. "You know-fuck together. Do you want to?"
I didn't know what to say. Before this moment, I had not even considered the prospect. It seemed so remote: I didn't even know how I felt about Sara as a person; moreover, I knew even less about how I felt about making love to her. No sensible answer would come to my mind.
Somehow, the idea shocked me. And this, my own reaction, surprised me more than anything. Could it be that I, Brian Caldwell, America's greatest living hedonist, was under the thin veneer of a libertine, nothing more than a prude and a closet-Victorian? The man who has done more things sexual-more outrageous things sexually than most people fantasize about in a lifetime, could it be that my sensibilities were bent out of shape? I was shocked by my sense of shock.
Yet I couldn't convince myself that there wasn't something abnormal about what was happening. How could Sara, who professed to love Lenny, sit there so calmly and not give it a second thought that her best friend and the man she loved were only a few feet away, naked, and fucking like animals in heat? Didn't she care? Or didn't she love him?
In the flickering candlelight, I gave Sara a very hard long look. The grass had heightened my senses, and I saw her in intimate detail, seeing things about her that I hadn't seen before.
Sara was quite attractive physically: she was tall and big, and that seemed even more impressive now. She was wearing a faded purple sweatshirt with nothing under it. Her breasts were enormous, much larger than Heather's, and they hung slightly from their ponderous weight. I could see that she was aroused, because the nipples made an imprint against the tight material, and they were large and round. She was wearing also, a pair of tight-fitting jeans, with patches sewn in various areas where the original material had frayed. She kept her legs folded, and I could see the broad curve of her cunt as it pushed the taut material, and made it swell. Her cunt looked large and very wide, and just under, pressed by her sitting weight, I could see the firm hills of her buttocks. Her legs were long and well-shaped, like a dancer's, and they tapered down to her large, naked feet.
I saw this all in a split-second, my sense of observation marajuana-acute. From her first question, no more than the blink of an eye's time had passed, yet I knew; I saw.
"I'm not trying to be pushy," Sara added, perhaps feeling defensive over my silence. "And I have no intentions of seducing you."
I stared at her, still silent, listening to the sounds from the bedroom. "Then why do you want to fuck with me?" I chose the word purposely, for its blunt effect on her, but it didn't seem to have any.
"Well, I think you're a groovy-looking guy," she explained. "I feel attracted to you physically. You look as though you'd make a damn good fuck."
I was curious now. "What makes you think that?"
"You have a big cock," she said, pointing with no self-consciousness to my lap. The long thick outline of my erection was pushing up the tight material of my jeans.
I was surprised by the hard-on: I wasn't aware that I had it. What was it from? I wondered. Was I excited by Sara's proposition, or did it have something to do with Heather?
"Having a big cock doesn't mean you'll be good sexually," she continued, "but it means if your not, I can at least help you. At least you'll be big, and that's better than being small and no good. I'm a big woman, and I have a need for a big cock."
Just then, a loud moan came from the bedroom, and I heard Heather cry, "Harder ... push it in harder!"
The words went through me like a knife, wounding me, exciting me.
"Look," Sara continued. "If you'd rather not do it, that's all right with me. I'd love to fuck you, but you have to be willing too. It's no good unless we both want it."
Heather's cry of pleasure rattled in my skull like an echo. I felt it touch my anger, my pride, and I could feel an unwanted jealousy bubbling up like bile. It left a bitter taste.
"YesI" I said loudly. So loudly that it would drown out any more of Heather's squeals of passion. "Yes! I want to fuck you."
Sara smiled. "Groovy."
Sara unfolded her legs from the yoga position, and stood up. Sitting down on the couch, I was very aware of how tall she really was. She stood for a moment like that, an unmoving statue in the center of a darkened room, and then she hooked her fingers in the hem of her sweatshirt, and she pulled it over her head.
Her breasts were magnificent. They were heavy and pendulous, hanging low on her chest. But not sagging because of loose flesh; no the flesh was firm and settled. Rather, they were so low because they were so massive and heavy. Her nipples were erect, and they were very long and fat, giving the tip of each breast an upward curving tilt. In all, her tits were quite pointy, unusual because of their heaviness, with the underside curving all the way up and around so that the nipples were pointed up and not down. The color of her flesh was bright pink, even in the dark, and the nipples were wide and round, coloring the tip of each breast in salmon-like circles.
My eyes must have widened when I saw them, for Sara made a small laughing noise with her mouth, and she cupped them sensuously with her widely spread fingers. I saw her catch the nipple between two fingers as she squeezed into the flesh, and the nipple jutted out long and stiffly. It was hard and erect, standing at sexual attention.
She let go of her tits, leaving white marks on the pink skin where her hands had squeezed, and she slid her fingers down her flat stomach. Deftly, she opened the snap on her jeans, and unzipped the zipper. After a second, the pants were off, and Sara stood naked before me.
My breath sucked in at the sight. Her legs were long and tapered, parted slightly, and her crotch was full and covered with what looked like a rug of hair. The color was brown-blonde, and it was flaxen-like, with little curl or crimp so that it hung straight down between her legs, making a small beard-like point. Her clitoris was very prominent, as it sometimes is in large women, and it parted the frontal mound with an indentation between the lips just at the curving tip of her body. The face of the mound was broad, like a fat vee between her parted thighs, and the hair-line was ragged and high, trailing up her belly to her navel in a fine, thin line.
I heard another sound coming from the bedroom, but I pushed it out of my mind in my excitement. "You're beautiful," I said to Sara, meaning every word of it.
"Thank you," she answered. She cupped her cunt with one hand, and her tit with the other. She began to work both hands against her flesh. "But I can't see any of you. Take your clothing off for me."
I stood, excited by her loveliness, and I was more than willing to accommodate her request. For the moment, my cock obsessed my brain, and Heather was forgotten. I found my hands were actually trembling as I pulled off my sweater, and I had to work at my belt buckle to make it come open.
I dropped my pants and stepped out of them, allowing Sara to take in my nakedness. It was very erotic, two nude people, standing and facing each other in a dark room, several feet from each other's nakedness.
"You have a big cock," Sara said simply. "It's longer and wider than Lenny's. Come here and let me touch it."
I stepped toward her, and she reached out and touched me. Her hand was warm, and it circled the shaft of my cock. She caressed it delicately, surprisingly so for her size, running her loosely held fingers up and down the sides of the organ. She closed her fist over the head of my cock, and squeezed in. A throb of pleasure coursed down my cock from the pressure of her hand.
"You're very hot," she told me. "It's burning hot."
As though the formalities were over, our bodies came together, with us still standing. I felt my cock slip between her thighs, just under the warm swell of her cunt, and she closed her legs around it, trapping it against her. She pressed down with her weight, and I could feel the dampness and heat of her cunt against my cock. Our bellies were pressed together, crotch against crotch, hair against hair, and I could feel the long flat hardness of her belly and thighs pushing back against me. Her breasts were flattened against my chest as my arms went around her. The nipples were hot, and they scraped against the hair on my chest. Sara opened her mouth, and I placed my lips on top of hers in a long, hot kiss.
Her tongue was long, and she shoved it into my mouth. I could taste the harsh aftertaste of the grass smoke on her breath as my own tongue explored the wet cavern inside her mouth. I ran my tongue over her tongue, touching her teeth and lips, exploring the pockets of wetness in her cheeks, and the slippery hollow at the roof of her mouth.
Sara ground down with her hips, pressing her thighs even more tightly against mine, and I returned the pressure, and began to pump in and out between her legs. My cockhead was swollen with my excitement, and I could feel it rub against the large lump of her clitoris each time I drew back and thrust in again. Her cunt lips were wet, and I could feel the moisture oozing down around the staff of my cock, wetting it, making it slippery with her juices.
Sara dropped her hands from my back and grabbed my ass cheeks in her hands. She squeezed into the muscles, digging her fingernails into my flesh, and tried to pull me even closer to her body. She dropped her body lower by bending her knees, and she rocked in and out against me, moaning in the wetness of my open mouth each time the horn-like crown of my cock rubbed against her clit.
I could feel the inner head of her cunt now, and the stiffness of my rigid cock parted the delicate, wet folds of her cunt lips. My sawing in and out, and her pressing down, had opened her up to me, and my cock was rubbing directly against the wetness of her cunt hole. Her sexual juices were pouring down now, and I could her my cock as it made slucing splash noises as it rubbed against her sticky flesh.
Sara broke her lips away from my mouth, and stabbed the wet spear of her tongue into my ear. "Stick it in me," she asked. "Please. I'm ready for it."
I started to move away from her to lay back on the couch, but she stopped me, pulling desperately to keep my body tightly against hers.
"No!" she whispered harshly. "Fuck me here! Standing up! Fuck me standing up!"
She parted her legs, releasing her leg's hold on my cock. She spread her legs around my thighs, as though she were mounting me. She stood on her tiptoes, lifting herself as high as she could, and the stiffness of my cock pointed up against her cunt, as if it was following her. Her breathing was heavy, and she was panting with anticipation.
"Lift me," she urged. "Put your hands under my ass and thighs and lift me."
I hooked my hands just under the curve of her ass, and I took a firm hold of her thighs. I bent my knees, then straightened them, lifting Sara from the ground. She wrapped her thighs around my hips, locking them by my ass, then pushed her arm down between our bodies.
"Let me put it in!" she said, taking my cock in her hand. It was standing, pressed against one of her ass cheeks, and she pulled it down the slit of her cunt, pressing it up into her open hole. "Push up!" she instructed.
I did, and I felt my cock enter her body. It was hot and wet, and her body trembled at the penetration.
"Oohhhh!" she moaned, excited. She pushed down with her cunt, thrusting me even further up the wet canal. "Push it in harder. Harder!"
I had to bend my knees and arch my back to support the full press of her weight, but in doing so, I positioned my cock so that it was standing straight up. Her cunt was directly on top of it, and I found myself buried, with the full length of my cock, deeply inside of her.
"Oh, My God!" she moaned. "You're big. My cunt feels stretched around you. Oh!"
Sara began to rock her hips in small, downward hunches, thrusting her cunt against my cock. There wasn't much in and out movement, but her cunt was very hot and wet, and the slight jiggling of friction was intensely pleasurable. I could feel the swollen bud of her clitoris, and it was rubbing back and forth against the base of my cock. It Seemed very hot and trembled with her excitement each time it came in contact with my cock. She moaned at regular intervals, each time she thrust down, and she tightened her legs around my hips.
"Lift me!" she suggested. "Lift me higher so I can ride up and down on your cock. Let me ride you."
I strained to lift her, raising her wet crotch out of my lap. My fingers were under her thighs, touching her ass and cunt, and I could feel the considerable wetness of her excitement all over my fingers. She was sloppy-wet, and for a moment I thought she had wet herself.
As she rose, I could feel my cock sliding down the canal of her cunt until it was at the edge of her tightening cuntal mouth. The ring of muscles gripped the head of my cock as though they had teeth, biting into the rigid column of flesh to prevent me from disengaging. My cock was bent and straining against her wet flesh because of the awkward and unnatural position, but in straining, the level of pleasure was extremely high, and my knees were going weak from my excitement.
"Lower my cunt onto your cock," she said. "Lower me down with your hands, then lift me again. like a merry-go-round: up and down, up and down! Do it slow so I can feel your cock sliding into me."
I did as she asked, lowering her body back down around my cock. Her cunt was soft and wet, and my cock slid into her with the same ease that a hot knife cuts through butter. I felt the clinging pulpy grip of her channel flowing over the head of my cock as it stabbed into her body. Soon she had reswallowed my cock, and it was encased in the wet sleeve of her cunt. My balls were pressed against the bunched tightness of her ass, and I could feel my fingers holding her up.
"Do it more! Do it more! Oh God! You're so big!" My back ached from holding her up, and my thighs were quivering from the downward press of her weight. I found myself breathing hard, sweat pouring down my body as I worked myself in and out of her. It was an effort, hard work, but it was well worth it. Her cunt clung to my cock with a fierce sexual desperation, and the urgency of her excitement was no sham. She was enjoying it fully!
"Fuck me, baby I" she moaned. Sara's eyes were closed, and she was rolling her head from side to side as I raised and lowered her on my cock. "Fuck me with your beautiful cock! Fuck my pussy!"
The muscles of my arms felt as though they had a fire burning in them from the groaning effort they were making as I pumped Sara up and down on me. But my cock, too, was on fire-the fire of raw sexual pleasure-and it burned hotter and more intensely than the pain. Up and down they lifted her, sliding her wet warm cunt against my cock. It was as though I were masturbating, using Sara's cunt in place of my hand. My cock was throbbing and trembling and I could hear the wet slap of her thighs as they smacked against my tensed, shaking legs.
"Harder!" she urged, bouncing herself in my hands. There was a new drive in her thrusting, a desperation that made her lips quiver as she spit the words out.
"Fuck me harder!" she cried, almost screaming. "I'm going to come soon! Fuck me harder!"
I could feel the burning pressure building inside of me too, and I knew I would come equally soon if my legs and back held out. I thrust her up and down a few more times, feeling my pleasure growing, but knowing at last that I could not hold out this way.
Sara was oblivious to my agony, as the intensity of her pleasure was almost blinding. She rocked and bounced her body against my cock, driving it further and further into her, as if there was something inside of her cunt that she wanted me to reach and touch. Her cunt was oozing sweat and juices all over my hands and thighs, and my balls were sticky with the overflow. I could feel my cock swelling inside of her, building to explode.
I couldn't stand it any longer-my back was ready to give out and my thighs were trembling so badly I couldn't hold her weight any more. I lifted her body with the last remaining strength in my arms, and I felt her cunt sliding down my cock. It stopped just at my cockhead, and that part of my body remained inside of her.
I walked backwards, holding her up, until I banged my back and naked ass into a wall. The wall between the bathroom and the living room. The moment my back felt the added support of the wall pressing against its agonized muscles, I jackknifed my hips, and I drove my throbbing hot cock back into the swirling fires of Sara's cunt, thrusting it the full length in so that my balls were crushed against the dripping lining of her pussy.
"Oh God!" Sara screamed from the vicious pleasure of my hunch into her. "Oh God! I'm coming!"
She squeezed her thighs together, and tried to stretch her legs stiffly out in front of her, mindless of my presence between them. Her cuntal muscles gripped me like a velvet vise, and I could hear her toenails scraping against the wall on either side of me. My arms were stretched out in front of me to hold her against me and keep her from slipping because her body was stiff with her orgasm, and she was leaning away from me-with her cunt pressed against me-as though my cock and her cunt were fused together.
"My God!" she moaned. "It's so bigl It's so bigl I'm coming! It's all the way in my pussy!"
I could hold my orgasm back no longer, and I loosed it inside of her. I could feel it moving up the staff of my cock, like a bubbling river flowing uphill, and it exploded out in thick, pressurized gushes that ripped a scream of pleasure from my lips.
"Oh Jesus!" I screamed because the level of my pleasure was so intense that I had to scream or burst from the strain. "It's so good!"
And it was good-so good that I had to express it, when my usual reaction to pleasure was closed, stoic lips and a silent, non-communicated excitement. I never screamed; I was too sophisticated for that.
But this time I screamed; screamed because there was too much of the orgasm, and it couldn't escape fast enough from my cock. I had to let it out in another way.
My cock throbbed and exploded, gushing ooze and sperm, belching it into her hot, clutching pussy. I could feel my legs draining from the effort, as though my balls had not produced enough substance, and it was forced to call upon the rest of my body to match my needs.
"Ohmigod!" Sara screamed. "I'm coming again!"
I didn't need to come again. I was still coming from the first time. My cock swelled up until it seemed to be twice as big as when it first went into her cunt. It throbbed angrily and bucked like a wild animal inside of her, spitting out hot, swirling blobs of sperm until it had nothing left to give. And still k throbbed, much like the spasms of a dry, retching stomach, heaving fitfully, but producing nothing.
As I slid down the wall, buried still inside of Sara's iridescent cunt, I felt touched by the cold hand of fear and confusion. The orgasm-my orgasm-had been as intense and as powerful as the few I had with Heather. This orgasm had touched me as profoundly, and at as many levels as the others. This was no mechanical orgasm brought on by Xanadu whores; this was a peak emotional experience.
And it happened a second time. Sara disengaged and swung her body around. She pressed her cunt in my face, and took my cock in her mouth. She began to suck on it furiously, crushing her sloppy box against my lips. I stabbed her with my tongue, eating out my own sperm from her cunt, when I came a second time, in her mouth. She swallowed the sperm, as though replenishing the deposit I was taking back from her cunt; as though she were completing some mystical sexual circle that was just beyond the grasp of my understanding.
Something was happening to me. Something profound and fundamental that it would alter whole life.
And I didn't know what it was.