Chapter 11

On Monday night, when I returned from work, I found that Cindy was back from her weekend in Connecticut. At dinner, she seemed a little funny, a bit upset. I wasn't sure whether she was angry at me or not. But I did notice that her tone of voice, when she addressed me, was definitely hostile.

At about eleven o'clock that night, just as I was about to fall asleep, Cindy switched on the light in the bedroom. She was wearing a long, white nightgown, and her hair was done up in rollers. I could just make out the swell of her bosom, underneath. I felt strangely excited.

"I want to talk to you!! " Cindy said in a harsh tone of voice.

I rubbed my eyes: "What's all this about? Can't it wait till tomorrow."

"No!!!"

"Okay," I replied. "Let's hear what's bothering you. I could see that something was bothering you all night. You might as well get it off your chest."

Cindy seemed uneasy, as though she wasn't sure of what she wanted to say. She was rubbing her hands together, as she seated herself on the bed, next to me.

"Well?" I demanded. "What is it?"

"Paul," she replied. "I want to ask you a question, and I want you to give me an honest answer. Don't bullshit me or anything like that."

"Okay," I promised.

"Tell me Paul, have you been fucking around with our daughter Glenda."

"What?"

"When I came home this morning," Cindy continued, "I found the living room all messed up, with splotches all over the floor. Since the two of you have been together for the whole weekend, I naturally suspected the worst."

"Is that your evidence?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "There's much more."

I sighed: "So go on, continue!"

"Well," said Cindy. "Later on, this afternoon, I was going to throw the garbage out, when I saw this strange little bundle."

"What kind of a bundle?"

It was a rolled up newspaper," explained Cindy. "I unrolled it, because I was curious to see what was inside. Guess what I found?"

I gulped: "So what did you find?"

"I found a wad of pussy hair," said Cindy. "It was the same color as Glenda's. Did you shave off her beaver while I was away?"

"Okay," I finally nodded, realizing that there was no point in hiding the truth from her anymore. "Yes, I fucked Glenda."

I expected to find my wife in tears, but she took the news rather calmly. She clasped her hands together, and stared up at the wall for several minutes, and then she looked directly into my eyes. I wanted to turn away from her, to avoid her gaze, but found that I couldn't. It was as though I was standing before my maker for the last judgment-there was no place that I could hide, no place that I could run.

"Yes," I repeated. "You might as well know everything. Glenda and I have been making it for a long, long time. I didn't want it to happen, and neither did she. We just were attracted to one another, somewhat like a pair of magnets. I'm surprised that you didn't find out about it a long time ago."

Cindy coughed: "I don't know what to say. I feel like I'm in a state of shock, like I'm in the middle of a bad dream. It can't be true."

"It is!!!"

"But how?" asked Cindy. "How did it all happen? How did it all begin?"

"It's a long, complicated story," I replied. "Are you sure that you want to hear it."

"By all means."

"Well," I sighed. "The first time that I made love to her, she was fifteen years old. It was a Sunday morning, and you were gone, visiting one of your ghlfriends. I was attracted to her and she was attracted to me. I suppose that's the way these things get started."

"And so you fucked her?" asked Cindy. "Didn't you feel a sense of shame? I mean, Glenda is your daughter, which makes it incest."

"Yes, I know all the imagine words," I replied. I'm sure that I'm not the first father who made it with his daughter, and I'm sure that I'm not going to be the last I was horny. Can you blame me for that?"

"But she was your own flesh and blood," repeated Cindy, almost in tears. "I can understand that you had your sexual desires to satisfy. But why couldn't you do it the way other men do?"

I laughed: "You're one to talk! If it wasn't for you, then I probably wouldn't have gotten into this sordid mess. H you had only acted towards me the way a wife is supposed to act towards her husband, then I might have been able to resist the temptations that Glenda offered. I mean, she is a beautiful, well built girl. When she was fifteen, as I recall, she was stacked, and I mean stacked. Wow!!! When I think of her tits, and that sweet little cunt of hers, I go bananas. Maybe, if I had enjoyed a satisfying sex relationship with you, I could have stayed away from her. But you were always so cold, so distant. What choice did I have in the matter? Can you blame me?"

"You're a disgusting pig," exclaimed Cindy. "At least you ought to take the responsibility for what you did. At least you ought to stand up like a man, without trying to shift the blame on me. Why is it my fault?"

"Because you're frigid," I screamed. "Because you're a goddamn Lesbian."

"That has nothing to do with what we're talking about," replied Cindy, trying to appear calm and composed. I could see that she was trembling underneath. Sweat was dripping from her forehead, and her lips were drawn tight as she pointed an accusing finger at me.

"You're the one who seduced her. You're the one who had sex with her. You're the one who is guilty of incest, and not I! You bastard! At least you ought to accept the goddamn responsibility."

"But don't you see that it wasn't entirely my fault," I insisted. "If you had fucked me the way a wife is supposed to fuck her husband, then this whole mess might have been avoided."

"Are you going to go over that again and again?" asked Cindy. "I told you once before that I don't like sex!! I don't like having your cock inside of me. It makes me sick."

"Oh...."

"I'm not a toilet bowl," continued Cindy. "That's the way I feel, whenever I have sex with a man. I feel like I'm just a hole, a receptacle, a toilet bowl Can you blame me for feeling this way?"

"But why?" I asked. "Sex is a beautiful experience. With most people, it's the one thing that makes life endurable. Intercourse is an expression of love."

"It's dirty," exclaimed Cindy. 'It always has been dirty for me. Do you want to know about my first experience with sex? Do you want to know how I lost my cherry, how I got broken into the game?"

"Yes," I replied. "Do tell me."

"Well, I already told you about the encyclopedia salesman who molested me when I was fifteen."

"I remember," I nodded.

"That salesman was a pig. He forced me to take his cock into my mouth. I begged him to leave me alone, but he wouldn't. That bastard!! EE I ever see him again, I would tear his eyes out of his head."

"Do you mean to tell me that you were scarred forever as a result of that one experience?"

"No," replied Cindy. "I suppose I might have gotten over it in time if it weren't for my Uncle. I mean, there are plenty of young girls who are molested and are able to write off the whole affair. But, the man who permanently scarred my life was my Uncle Harold. I never told you about him, did I?"

"No," I replied.

"Well," exclaimed Cindy. "He was a bachelor, and he didn't five far away from us. I would often go and visit him when I was young, because he used to give me chocolate candies. I remember how he used to pick me up, always shoving his hand on my ass. When I complained, he would just laugh, and tell me that I was acting silly."

"Oh...."

"Well," continued Cindy. "One day, when I was fifteen and a half, I went up to his apartment after having a fight with my parents. Whenever I had any kind of problem, I would always go up and talk to him, because he was so very nice and understanding. If I had had any sense, I would have realized that he was only flattering my ego, that he was only fattening me up for the kill."

"So what happened?" I asked. "Did he rape you or do something horrible like that?"

"Yes," replied Cindy. "It was just awful. I went up to his apartment and I told him about the fight that I had just had with my mother and father. My Uncle Harold put his arms around me, and I could feel his palms resting on my ass. Before I knew it, he had his fingers inside of my blouse and he was holding my small breasts, fondling them."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, I suppose that I enjoyed it at first," replied Cindy. "But soon afterwards I felt miserable. I tried to push him away from me. But he was insistent. I was just a tiny girl then, very shy, afraid of my own shadow. He was a very big man, more than six feet, five inches tall. When he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the floor, there was nothing that I could do."

"So what happened?"

"He carried me into the bedroom, and he stripped off my clothes, till I was completely naked. He made me he on the mattress, and he inspected me as though I were an animal, pulling my legs apart and staring at my vagina. He kept looking at it, gazing at it till I began to squirm on the bed. I begged him to leave me alone, to let me dress and leave."

"Did he?"

"No," replied Cindy. "He threatened to beat me, if I opened my mouth again. I was terrified, so I kept quiet I closed my eyes and pretended that it was a horrible dream that I was experiencing."

"Did he fuck you?"

"Yes," replied Cindy. "He removed his trousers, and exposed his long hard penis. Then he climbed on top of me and he shoved it into my cunt I felt as though I was going to burst."

"You were still a virgin at the time?"

"Yes, I was," nodded Cindy. "I was a small girl with a very narrow pelvis. My Uncle had a cock that was nine or ten inches long. When he drove it into me, I burst into tears because it hurt so much."

"Was that what turned you off to men?" I asked. "Are you trying to tell me that it was your Uncle Harold who made a Lesbian out of you?"

"Yes, he was responsible," answered Cindy. "After laying me that first time, he made me come back day after day. He threatened to tell my parents that I was a tramp and that I had seduced him unless I came back to his apartment."

"Did you fall into that trap?"

"Yes," replied Cindy. "I was young, and I was afraid of him. So I kept coming back and getting undressed and letting him screw me even though I felt disgusted by the whole thing. Finally, one day, I couldn't hold it in any longer and I went to my mother and confessed to her what was going on between my Uncle and myself."

"So what happened?"

"Well," replied Cindy. "My mother didn't believe me. She didn't believe my story, but she believed my Uncle's story. He told my parents that I was the one who initiated the whole affair and that he was just an innocent victim. He called me a tramp, a harlot and dozens and dozens of terrible names. I tried to defend myself, but nobody believed what I said. They took it for granted that I was lying and that my Uncle was telling the truth."

"I see."

"Well, to make a long story short," continued Cindy, "ever since that terrible experience with my Uncle, I've always been wary of men. I've never trusted them."

"You mean that you never even trusted me?"

"No," replied Cindy. "And I suppose that I was right in my judgment. You're no better than my Uncle Harold. He raped me when I was fifteen and a half, and you raped Glenda when she was the same age. You know, you're a disgusting pig. I hate you!"

"But it's not entirely my fault," I protested. "What happened between myself and Glenda is not the same as what happened between yourself and your Uncle. I never forced Glenda. I never raped her."

Cindy didn't want to hear my explanation. She wasn't interested in listening to me. like a wild animal blinded by a terrible rage, she struck out and slapped me across my face.

"How could you?" she exclaimed. "Glenda is our daughter. Don't you know that incest is a terrible sin?"

Suddenly I felt very, very angry, as her words echoed in my ears. Who the hell was she to preach to me? What right did she have to condemn me? The frigid bitch! She was a Lesbian, a queer! She was the one who was really responsible for the terrible things that had happened between myself and Glenda. She was the one who had driven me into my daughter's arms. If only she had treated me properly, nothing would have happened.

"You bastard," she screamed again, slapping me repeatedly across my face till my cheeks bumed. I was boiling mad. Suddenly I grabbed hold of her hands and squeezed them so hard that she began to turn blue.

"Stop that," she cried. "You're hurting me."

"I know," I replied, belting her across the mouth. She tumbled off the bed, rolling down, onto the floor.

I could see a tiny trickle of blood coming out of the side of her lips, where she had bitten herself.

As I stared down at her helpless figure, my body surged with sexual energy. I could feel my penis stiffen, and grow firm and erect. My testicles began to quiver with wild excitement. It was as though my hatred of Cindy had filled me with lust, with mad desire. I wanted her more than I had ever wanted her before. I wanted to fuck her, to molest her, to rape her the way her Uncle had raped her. I wanted to drag her onto the bed and rip off her flimsy nightgown and gaze at the warmth of her naked body. I wanted to put my hands on top of her breasts and feel their milky sweetness. I wanted to rub my fingers against her tight little cunt till they were dripping with her slick wetness.

Cindy must have seen the madman's look in my eyes, because she suddenly began to cringe, to draw away. She held out her hands, clenching them into fists, as she gulped for a lungful of air. I could hear the thumping of her heart, and I saw a big lump in her throat. She was scared, all right, really scared!

"What are you going to do to me?" she asked. "You had better leave me alone."

"Oh," I laughed. "Why should I? I'm your husband!! I'm going to take what's coming to me. No one's going to stop me."

"I'll scream," she warned. "I'll call the police. If you force me to do anything that I don't want to do, I'll have you thrown into jail."

"Don't be ridiculous," I laughed. "You're talking like a fool. Why don't you grow up?"

"Leave me alone!!!" she cried.

I took off my pajama bottoms, exposing my long, hard cock to her frightened eyes. She drew away, crawling across the floor like an animal. She tried to get away from me, to escape through the door. But I was fast, jumping off the bed. I pounced on her, like a wolf.

"Leave me alone," she cried again. "Please leave me alone."

"Shut up, bitch!! " I screamed, lifting her up in my arms and throwing her onto the bed. She behaved like a wildcat, scratching my chest with her sharp, long nails. She threw an ash tray at my head, and I was able to duck just in the nick of time.

"If you bother me, I'll kill you."

Cindy's threats only served to bolster my desire, to enflame my sexual appetite. I knew that she was trapped in the bedroom, unable to escape, unable to resist. I stalked her the way a hunter would stalk his quarry, careful to avoid her dangerous claws.

"Please go away," she begged, tears running from her black eyes. "Paul, don't hurt me."

"I won't," I promised, grabbing hold of her nightgown and ripping it off. Underneath she was wearing a pair of panty briefs that reached all the way up to her belly. Her breasts jiggled delightfully as she moved. Against her will they quivered and quaked with fear. Her cherry red nipples grew hard, stiffening into two sharp peaks.

"Leave me alone! Leave me alone!"

I grabbed hold of the waistband of her undergarment and tore it off, splitting it open along the seam that ran from her belly button, all the way down to her furry crotch. Soon she was completely naked, completely exposed. She was crying wildly, as she tried to cover herself.

"Don't hide yourself," I laughed. "You're beautiful That dark little muff of yours is the most delicious thing that I've seen all day. You're a good looking woman, really you are."

"I don't need any of your false compliments," replied Cindy. "You're a crude pig. Don't think that you can butter me up, and then have me snuggle up to you and lick you like a bitch. I'm not that kind of a woman. I know your game; I know all of your tricks."

"You're being paranoid," I replied. "I don't want to trick you or anything. I just want to make love to you. Is that asking so much?"

"Yes!!!"

"But why?"

"Because I hate you," replied Cindy. "I hate all men!! Please put on a pair of pajamas, so that I don't have to look at your erection. It's disgusting, obscene."

"Most women think it's beautiful," I replied, taking my prick in my hands and lifting it up. "Just look how hard it is, how big and strong. I'm sure that it could bring you pleasure, if you'll only let it"

"You talk about it as though it had a life of its own," laughed Cindy.

"But it does," I nodded. "Sometimes it can actually tell me what to do. It talks to me, whispers little secrets in my ear."

"You're crazy!!!"

"No, I'm not," I replied. "Do you want to know what my cock is telling me at this very moment."

"What?"

"He says that he's getting horny. He says that he's thirsty and that he wants to take a little drink of pussy juice. C'mon, Cindy, be nice to the little feller. If you're nice to him, then he'll be very, very nice to you."

"Fuck off!!!" replied Cindy, in a sharp, abrasive tone. "I don't like your patronizing attitude Paul. Now, please take that ugly piece of meat and cover it up so that it's not staring me in the face. It makes me want to vomit Yes, it really disgusts me!!!"

"You're being unfair to him," I laughed, stroking my cock. "C'mon, Cindy, don't be so cruel."

As I approached the bed, I smiled and held out my hand towards her. I was trying to be gentle with Cindy, sympathetic. I wanted to help her with her problem, and of course I wanted to help myself in the process. I suppose that I was being patronizing with her, that I was treating her like a child, like an infant But what choice did I have in the matter? I was driven by a wild, uncontrollable urge. My eyes were focused on Cindy's glorious body, on those delightful little breasts, and that dark little muff. I wanted to fuck her so badly, that I was ready to do anything. If charm wouldn't work with her, then I was prepared to go to the other extreme. I was more than ready to force her to do my will.

"Come on, Cindy," I whispered. "Please don't fight me! I promise that I'll be gentle with you, that I'll be nice to you. Just don't fight me, and everything will turn out okay."

"No," screamed Cindy. "You can't soft soap me. I'm not a silly little girl who will spread her legs at the drop of a hat. I really don't want to have sex with you, and I'm not just pretending. Why won't you leave me alone? If you want to get laid, then go to your mistress, but leave me out of it."

"I'm afraid that I can't," I said calmly. "I intend to get my rocks off tonight. I'm going to make up for all those miserable years that the two of us have been married. If you don't cooperate with me, then I'll rape you. Yes, I'll rape you!"

"Don't...."

"Sorry, Cindy," I whispered. "I intend to fuck you, and there's nothing that you can do about it. If you had only been a normal, healthy woman then nothing would ever have happened between me and Glenda."

"I tried," she exclaimed. "God only knows how hard I tried."

I walked over and put my arms around her shivering body, kissing her on the face and neck. I reached down with my tongue, to her small, bouncy breasts and began to lick them tenderly. I ran my tongue up and down the slope of her bosom, trying to stimulate her in this manner, trying to excite her, to breathe sexual life into her frigid body.

"No...." she cried. "Don't do that to me!!! Please don't do that to me!!!"

"Why not?" I laughed. "Aren't you enjoying it? Don't you like it when I tickle your breasts with my tongue? There's not a woman in the world that doesn't enjoy it."

"I hate it," sighed Cindy. "It makes me feel dirty. I feel cheap and unclean when you do that to me. I beg you, please stop!!!"

Cindy was trembling, but I didn't care. She wasn't going to spoil my pleasure with her whining, with her incessant complaining. I refused to listen to her abrasive voice, to her pathetic objections.

After all, she was the one who was crazy and not L If she wasn't enjoying herself, then that was too bad for her. Where is it written that a man's function is solely to satisfy a woman? Where does it say that a man should refrain from having sex, if the woman doesn't enjoy the encounter?

"Go away," Cindy screamed. "Go away from me, Paul."

I looked up at her, directly into her eyes. Then, without warning I slapped her across her face with the back of my hand.

"Listen here, bitch," I warned. I'm through playing games with you. If you don't like what I'm doing to you, then you'll just have to grit your teeth and bear it. Why don't you close your eyes and pretend that it's a horrible dream? Why don't you do that, if it'll make you feel any better."

"You pig," she cried, as my mouth fell onto her small tender breasts for a second time. I swallowed up her nipples, rolling them with my tongue, sucking on them with my lips and teeth, applying an exhilarating friction to their surface. As if by magic, they hardened and bloomed, like flowers in the springtime.

My hands fell gently to her thighs. I pulled her legs apart and began to fondle her soft, milky white flesh. My fingers surged with electricity as I worked my way up to the slit of her cunt. She was dry and tight, but it didn't matter. Just being able to touch her secret parts, just being able to finger them was enough to drive me mad with passion.

"No, don't do that," she begged, as I grabbed her little clitoris with my thumb and forefinger and began to diddle with it, to rub it and tickle it. Against her will, she became excited. Her thighs began to sweat But more important than that, I could feel a slick lubricating fluid trickle out of her love mound.

"That's a good girl," I laughed. "Just relax, and you'll really be okay. Just lean back and relax."

"No, don't do that to me," she cried, as I traced the outline of her slit with my middle finger. I gently pulled open the dewlaps of her cunt, squeezing them as I pushed my way into the warm, moist hole between her thighs. I explored her box in a curious way, playing with it like a child.

"You're a good woman," I said. "You've got a nice little pussy. It burns me up when I touch it."

"Please, don't bother me."

"What are you bitching about?" I asked. "Don't you like to feel a pair of fingers stroking your cunt? Does that disgust you too?"

"No," replied Cindy. "I don't mind if you just want to feel me up. I suppose I have no choice in the matter. Just as long as you keep your cock out of my vagina, I won't give you any trouble."

"Oh...."

"You can do anything that you want to do to me," cried Cindy. "But please, for heaven sakes, don't fuck me. I don't want to feel your organ inside of my hole."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because it scares me," replied Cindy.

"Don't be afraid," I said. "Women are supposed to enjoy getting humped. At least that's what I read somewhere, in some stupid book."

"Well, you're wrong," replied Cindy. "Most women only pretend to enjoy sex. I would say that ninety-nine percent of the women who say that they like getting fucked are simply lying."

"Oh."

"It's a fact," nodded Cindy. "Most women are by nature Lesbians. That's why I have such an easy time of it. Of course they like to pretend that they're straight, but I can see right through them."

"You're crazy," I said. "Just because you're a Lesbian, doesn't mean that everyone else is. They say that misery loves company. You try to pull everyone down into the hole that you're in."

"Drop dead," she screamed. "I don't need to hear any of your stupid preaching. I don't want to be reprimanded by a bastard like yourself."

"Well, Cindy," I said finally. "Whether you like it or not, you had better get used to the fact that you're going to get fucked tonight. I've been trying to be nice with you. I've been trying to be gentle. But I see that it's all useless. My words go in one ear and come out the other."

"No," she cried. "Stop it!! Stop it!!!"

Suddenly I lashed out and slapped her across her face. I really was getting tired of her whining. I really was getting sick of her complaints. I was determined to have my way with her and there was nothing in this whole world that could have stopped me. It was as though I was letting out the pent up fury of twenty years of marriage. It was as though I was purging my system of the terrible frustration which she had made me endure.

"You know what I'm going to do," I said. "I'm going to fuck you the way I saw it done in that movie, I AM CURIOUS, YELLOW. I'm going to do it to you in a seated position. I've always wanted to do it that way."

"No," protested Cindy, as I lifted her up and made her sit down on a pillow, with her back to the wall. She looked somewhat like a Buddha, as she folded her arms around her breasts, trying to cover her nakedness.

"Noll !!" she continued to protest as I pulled her sweet little thighs apart, so that her cunt was easily accessible. I made her twine her legs around my sides, pulling her close to me, seating her in my lap, on top of my bulging cock. I could see that she was terrified, that her face was trembling, that her cheeks were twitching. She didn't want to go through with what I had planned for her, and she was squirming just like a rabbit.

I bent over and kissed her salty forehead, brushing back her silky black hair with my fingers. I put my arms around her neck and held her tight. For one fleeting second, I felt sorry for her and was almost tempted to stop what I was doing. But that moment didn't last very long, nor did it affect my determination.

"Don't worry, honey," I whispered, as I inched closer and closer, gliding my cock between her thighs, right up against her pussy. She was a little dry and I could see that I would have trouble getting into her. As I worked my way up, into her pubic orifice, she hit me with her fists and scratched me with her nails.

"You little bitch," I laughed, as I drove my bulging cock right up against the mouth of her dry cunt. I moved gently, rhythmically, pushing my shaft past the drape-like folds of her labia, till I could feel that I was getting into her cunt, till I could feel myself becoming engulfed inside of her vaginal orifice.

"Owwwwww..." she cried painfully, as I made the initial penetration. She was so tight and so dry that I felt like I was fucking a plastic bag. She was frozen stiff, as I slid my cock back and forth inside of her.

"Get it over with," she begged. "Finish it up fast, before I vomit! !!"

Fucking Cindy was a lot like masturbating. It was a solitary act in which she refused to participate. I tried, several times to stir her passions. I kissed her neck, and her breasts, and I put my hands underneath her ass and squeezed her buttocks. But no matter what I did, she remained frozen, and completely unhappy.

Finally, after several minutes of rubbing my cock inside of her cunt, I felt the beginning of a climax. I didn't really enjoy myself as I ejaculated. I felt disappointed. I suppose I thought that I would be able to wake her up, to stir fever in her loins. I was sadly mistaken.

"Okay!!!" she said, when it was over. "Are you happy now?"

"Not really!!" I replied. "You might have been a little more passionate."

"I don't like it," she whispered. "Can't you understand me when I tell you that I don't like fucking you? It makes me sick."

"But you're my wife!! "

"So what?"

"Never mind," I laughed, as I pulled my horn out of her cunt. Cindy got up off the bed, and walked across the room to where she slept. She picked up a tissue and she wiped my semen out of her vagina. Then she put on a fresh pair of panties and lit up a cigarette.

"If you ever do that to me again," she said, "I'll kill you."

I laughed: "Why don't you divorce me? It'll be much easier."

"You want a divorce?" she asked. "What for?"

"It hasn't been much of a life," I replied. "Maybe it would be better if the two of us split up?"

"So you can go to that bitch of yours in Brooklyn Heights," snarled Cindy. "Is she the one who put you up to it? Is she the one who told you to rape me? Is she the one who told you to go to bed with Glenda?"

"I can see that you're hysterical," I replied. "Well talk about it tomorrow. Anyway, I'm determined to divorce you in any case. I've suddenly realized that I have been wasting my life."

"You bastard," she screamed. "Why the hell is sex so damn important to you? Why do you always want to fuck me? If it wasn't for that, then the two of us could be really happy. Why isn't it enough for you to enjoy my company?"

"Don't talk like a fool," I replied. "Sex and marriage go hand in hand. When a marriage is on the rocks, the lumps are usually in bed. Take us, for instance!! ! I don't think that there is anything to salvage."

Cindy seemed desperate. The talk about divorce had sobered her up. She suddenly ran over to the bed, where I was lying, and she grabbed hold of my arm and started to squeeze it desperately. I could see tears rolling from her eyes, onto her cheeks, trickling down like little drops of rain.

"Darling," she said. "You can't be serious about all this talk about divorce"

"Of course I'm serious," I replied. "I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I'm determined to go through with it. After all, what point is there in a sterile marriage? I don't really love you, and I'm sure that you don't love me either. It's best if we just said good-bye, without making a big fuss."

"But that's where you're wrong," whispered Cindy. "I do love you!!!"

"That sounds ridiculous when you say it," I laughed. "How can you love me, when you won't even go to bed with me? I simply can't understand you,"

"But there's more to love than sex," replied Cindy. "That's what I keep trying to tell you. Don't we lead a comfortable life? Don't we enjoy the same things? Don't we like the same types of people? The two of lis have a lot in common, and I think that a divorce would be absolutely disastrous."

"I don't agree," I said simply. "I think that you're clinging to me out of fear. If you would only think this thing out clearly, then you would realize that there isn't much of a future for our marriage. It's a dying concern, a bankrupt business. Cindy, it's time to liquidate and start out fresh."

"But I don't want you to leave me," she cried. "I think that I would fall apart if you did. I'm not strong like you, and I'm afraid of growing old alone."

"Don't be silly."

"Let me confess something to you, Paul," she sighed. "I've always been ashamed of what I am. I've always felt guilty about being a Lesbian."

"Oh...."

"Yes," nodded Cindy. "I came from a very typically middle class family, and they really fucked up my mind. I have this thing about being normal."

"I don't understand."

"It's perfectly easy," explained Cindy. "The reason that I married you is because I wanted to conform, to be like everyone else. If you leave me then I would be all alone. If you divorce me, then I won't be able to play my game anymore. That's what frightens me more than anything."

"Then I feel sorry for you," I replied. "I've got my own life to live, and by golly, I intend to live it. I can't be tied up to your neurotic fears."

"You bastard!!!" she cried. "I've given you my best years, and now you want to throw me away like a wet rag. I'm not a piece of garbage, you know!! I'm not an orange peel that you can just toss out of the window."

"Shut up," I said. I'm going to sleep. I have a busy day at the office tomorrow."