Chapter 1
When Laurie gathered her books and emerged from Fenway Hall, she felt as if a great oppression had been lifted from her body. She'd completed the last of her mid-semester exams-successfully she hoped-and now she was free to goof off the rest of the afternoon. Later on, maybe around six, she'd dress for tonight's date with Danny Williams, who, like herself, was in his freshman year here at Tri-Central college. They'd go to a drive-in theatre-count on Danny for that-and when Danny worked up his nerve, they'd neck a little bit; and if he garnered a lot of nerve! she might enjoy the feel of his hand inside her bra. But that was as far as it would go. Danny was too bashful, too inexperienced, to try anything bolder, and if there was one thing she could count on when she dated him, it was being returned to her off-campus apartment in one piece, not having to fight for that saintly thing called honor. But lately-and she hadn't tried to analyze her feelings-she wished he would try something. It would be fun to be wanted that way by him, even more fun to turn him down, and maybe, she thought wickedly, she wouldn't turn him down. Maybe she'd let him do it, go all the way.
The heat of the day and the heat of her thoughts brought her to a. frustrating and rapid arousal. She tried to push it out of her mind, the idea of Danny going up and down between her legs, but hot fantasies weren't so easily dismissed. It was like trying not to think of an elephant, and then being able to think of nothing but the elephant, and the harder you tried....
Laurie quickened her pace, crossing the campus back of the chemistry lab, passing the new dorm that was being erected, and hurrying on toward her apartment. She was conscious of being stared at, even thrilled to it; but with the storm that was raging in her loins-and she was suddenly ashamed of her lust-the male attention was something she could now do without, because if right this minute one of them would touch her-touch her just anywhere....
I'd rape him in broad daylight, she told herself. And that was the way she felt today: horny. Horny as hell.
Reaching her apartment, she found that her excitement had not abated. If anything, it was worse. The apartment, not the best, was equally hot, and she raised the windows to let in some air, and then she stripped off her mini-dress and kicked off her shoes.
She padded to the midget-sized refrigerator and ice-cubed a glass of ginger ale. The apartment was disenchanting as hell, too cramped, and unbearably hot, and being half-naked, just in filmy panties and bra, she was still unrelieved.
She stood at the window, hoping for a breeze and wishing she could afford an air conditioner; but then she saw the drapes move in the apartment across the terrace, and she remembered the landlady's warning when she'd rented the apartment.
"Watch your shades when you undress. We got some nosey ones across the way. Wouldn't trust 'em, I wouldn't. Not for a minute."
Laurie had obeyed that warning, but now, nagged by the heat, nagged by an indifference she couldn't define, she didn't much care about the shades. And panties and bra weren't much different than what they wore at the beaches, and if a guy was silly enough to hide behind his drapes and stare at her, and get his rocks all worked up-well, it served him right!
She came away from the window and plopped on the sofa bed. The place needed some tidying up. With the exams and all, she'd really let things go, and her mother would be horrified, absolutely horrified, to see what a mess it was. But of course many things horrified her mother, Laurie thought, and if she knew about my short-short dresses and the kind of things I think about ... and if she could have seen me in front of that window a minute ago, half naked....
What mother did not know-that old adage still worked!-would not hurt her. And she didn't truly want to hurt her, for God knows her widowed mother was working hard enough to pay her college expenses, and it was this unspoken obligation that kept her from-from what? From letting a lot of boys do it to her, she asked herself? Was this what she wanted? And now the elephant was back, wasn't it? She was thinking about that thing again, and if only she hadn't let several boys do it to her in high school, then the remembrance of it wouldn't be teasing her now. But she had done it. Done it, enjoyed it. Enjoyed?-actually swooned. Gone crazy. Loved it!
But that was the trouble with getting hooked on sex, she thought. It was worse than drugs. You loved it, you wanted it constantly, and the only thing that saved her from total sexual aban don during her high school days, was the unexpected death of her father. The measure of sadness and loneliness was great, and Laurie devoted her feelings and time to easing her mother's grief; and when, after a spell, the diminutive old woman collected new resolve, she said:
"Laurie, if it's the last thing I do for you, I'm going to see that you get entered in college. That was what your father wanted. To see y'make something of yourself, and with the good Lord's strength...."
And so Laurie was here, giving substance to a mother's dream. Her marks were creditable, her deportment was nothing to be ashamed of-not really-and Danny Williams was the sort of boy, had she known him, that her mother would approve of: totally boy-like, diffident, obsequiously polite. But wasn't that the reason she continued to date him? Laurie wondered, coming off the sofa bed. Out of respect to her mother. And there were dozens upon dozens of boys', all of them eager to take her out-and not just to a drive-in movie where they'd hold hands, but boys who undressed her with their eyes and who she knew would do anything, just anything, for the chance to go all the way.
But these were the thoughts that tortured her so. Knowing what the boys wanted. Knowing it would feel good, and knowing it because it had been that way back in high school. But steady dating with a boy like Danny Williams....
She stood in front of the window, brazenly exposed. She watched the draperies in the apartment across the terrace. Presently she glimpsed a sign of movement behind the drapes. Laurie pretended not to notice. She stood perfectly still, looking at nothing in particular, weighing good against evil.
Evil finally won, and it wasn't evil per se, but simply the mischief of a young girl. A highly aroused young girl whose feelings had got the best of her. A girl who wanted to tease.
Laurie moved closer to the window. Sunlight streamed from the sky and washed over Laurie's youthful, voluptuously rounded torso. Her tanned, satin-smooth shoulder arched perceptibly, throwing her teenage breasts up and out-almost clearly out of their wispy nylon confinement. The cones of her thin bra pressed against the window pane. Her nipples felt the warmth of the glass. The drape moved and Laurie wondered whether the man or the boy, who was peeping, was growing excited, getting hot.
She turned sideways, letting the voyeur inspect the jutting profile of her breasts, the curvy smallness of her waist. The guy was undoubtedly getting a good charge for himself, and thinking about it worked her up. She could feel it coming on, that incipient hotness that was alternately a curse and a thrill.
In a blaze of sudden abandon, she cupped her breasts in her small warm hands and squeezed. Her hot little nipples pressed againt her palm and begged to be fondled, and for a crazy minute, Laurie didn't care if a whole legion of guys was watching-it just felt too good to stop. But then a phone rang in another part of the building, and it broke the spell and drove her back from the window.
She flung herself face down across the sofa bed and nearly cried. Her sexual feelings were intense, utterly frustrating and she felt no shame in the sudden thrusting of her narrow, child-like hips. She sought release from the sofa bed and the squirming and thrusting soon became a savage pounding, and her young body moved faster and faster. Her invisible lover responded not, but Laurie didn't let herself think of that; instead, she visualized someone under her-perhaps Danny-and when her imagination captured his likeness, she thrashed faster, harder.
But it didn't work. The desperately sought release never materialized, and her squirmings had only served to make things worse.
She moved unsteadily to the bathroom, telling herself that a cold shower might rid her of these calamitous sexual desires. But even as she skimmed off her panties, unclasped her bra and let her swollen boobies spring forth, Laurie knew the shower would not help. There was only one thing that would help, and as she thought of that thing, stood naked before the bathroom mirror and admired the magic splendor of her youth, she thought also of Danny. She spoke out loud to her image, saying the words as though the boy were just beyond the doorway:
"Danny, I don't know what it takes to encourage you, but tonight ... tonight I'm going to make you do something. I'm going to get you so damn hot and bothered...."