Chapter 11
The next morning, as Mike had predicted, Cindy hated herself. Unfortunately, it was not because she had gone to bed with Mike, however. Fortunately, she also had a headache and a hangover and not too much recollection of what had happened when the young night clerk came to her room.
There was a pounding on the door to match the pounding in her skull. Experimentally, she opened her eyes and then closed them again quickly, wincing at the sunlight filtering brightly through the draperied window.
"Cindy, wake up, it's me, Mike Bradbury," a voice said.
Cindy closed her eyes tightly and pulled the blankets over her head. "Go away," she muttered.
He tried the door, and it opened. He peered in. "How do you feel?"
"Terrible," she said. There was a dry, cottony taste in her mouth, and her stomach was rolling uneasily.
He laughed. "What you need is some food to settle your stomach."
She groaned. "I don't even want to think about it."
"Besides, I thought you might want to have breakfast with your one true love."
She raised her eyes above the blanket and looked at him. "Who's that?"
"Why me, of course. Michael Scott Bradbury, in the-you'll excuse the expression-flesh. And as an extra incentive, I've managed to locate this jerk you think you like, what'shisname? Joey Stanford."
"He's not a jerk!" Cindy said defensively.
"Of course he is, for staying away from you so long."
"How'd you find out where he is?"
"Elementary, my pet. During your drunken slobberings last night you told me his name and occupation and even his phone number. I called up and it turned out to be the place where he works, the Durant Insurance Company."
She caught the look on his face. "Oh, Mike, I'm sorry. So that's why you wouldn't go to bed with me."
"I guess I'm just a sensitive folk singer," he said. "But all's well that ends well. We'll have ourselves a bite of breakfast, then I'll drop you off to see the gentleman." He glanced at his watch. "Now, I'll give you exactly five minutes to come out of there-or you're in bad trouble."
The door closed, and she heard him moving out to wait by the car. Cindy shook her head. She just couldn't figure him out. She was beginning to remember vaguely a rambling on of her experiences to him. Now he was even delivering her to the doorstep of his rival. Why?
She got out of bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. The warm water felt good against her tired body. She massaged soap into her weary muscles, allowed the water to caress her with gentle fingers. She turned on the COLD knob, and icy streams needled her, making her skin tingle. She stepped from the shower and toweled herself briskly.
She dressed quickly and went out to the car. , "My, you do look wholesome in the morning," he said.
"Thanks," she said. She certainly didn't feel it. She felt like a first class female heel. But then it wasn't her fault that Mike wanted to behave like a pure, white knight, was it? Didn't he realize that wasn't in style any more?
They went into a coffee shop and had breakfast of eggs, orange juice and coffee.
"Do you have any other talents," he asked her, "besides trying to lead potentially wayward folk singers down the primrose path?"
"You mean like my hopes, my dreams, my ambitions?"
"Why not?"
She sighed. "Because I don't really have any," she said, suddenly realizing it for the first time.
She told him how she'd been living in Hurley, Texas.
"Where the skies are not cloudy all day, but I imagine the opportunities are quite limited," he said sympathetically.
"That's for sure," she agreed.
She went on to tell him about her home life. She hadn't intended to do more than mention her stepfather, but she found herself pouring out her past troubles into his sympathetic ear.
Mike listened carefully, his face turning dark with anger as he heard her story. "You were right in running away, Cindy."
"But now look. I come to Florida to find my mother isn't really any better."
"Don't forget that Mamie was living with Fred Drucker too, and she was forced to run away, just as you did. She needed love, and she took it where and how she could-and sometimes, like all of us, we make mistakes. The object of the game is to make fewer of them as you go along."
Cindy smiled and pressed Mike's hand gratefully. There was no way she could stay angry with him. He was so understanding, so tolerant of. the faults of others.
"You know," she said, "you're a very nice person."
He grinned self-consciously. "Sure," he said wryly, "I'm a pal." He glanced at his watch. "Well, we'd better get you over to the Durant Insurance Company before the lunch hour and your one true love takes off."
He tried to make his tone light, but she could tell he wasn't fully pleased with her seeing another man. They went out to the car and drove into a downtown area. Cindy wondered what Joey would think when he first saw her. Perhaps he'd be so happy he'd kiss her right then and there. She hoped so.
They stopped in front of a large building in a crowded downtown section. He reached across her lap and opened the door for her. She turned to face him.
"Mike, why are you doing this?"
"Because you've got to get this guy out of your system, Cindy," he said seriously, "and you'll never do it unless you see him again. And the sooner the better."
"Suppose I don't," she said, "Get him out of my system, I mean? Suppose I really love him and he really loves me? What then?"
"Then," he said, with a wan grin, "I've added another sad chapter to the story of my life."
She squeezed his hand. "Thanks for everything, Mike. I hope I'll see you again."
"Oh, I'll be around," he promised.
She stood by the curb as his car roared away into the traffic. Then she turned and walked into the building. The large clock in the lobby said a few minutes after noon, and people were beginning to come out of elevators for lunch. Her heart leaped as one of the elevator doors opened, and she saw Joey talking animatedly to a pretty blonde girl. He was laughing until suddenly he looked up and saw her and then the smile froze and slowly faded. He said something quickly to the girl as they stepped from the elevator. The blonde girl waited near the wall, while Joey came over to where she was.
"Cindy," he said. "What in the world are you doing here?"
"Looking for you, Joey," she said.
Her heart was beating very fast at the sight of him. It had been only a couple of days, but now it seemed as though it had been forever.
"Can we ... can we go someplace and talk?" she suggested.
"Well, I'd like to," he said with a helpless shrug, "but...."
"The blonde girl?" Cindy's voice was flat.
"Oh, her? She's my boss. We were going to discuss some new projects together over lunch."
Cindy pressed close to him. "Please, Joey," she said. Impulsively, she moved her hands over him.
She could tell she was affecting him by his suddenly ragged breathing, by the nervous way kept glancing across the lobby to see if anyone were watching. She didn't understand why he was being so difficult. It annoyed her. When you're in love with someone, you want to be with that person. She wasn't very proud of the way she was achieving her ends-it was something Mamie Drucker would have done-but it was working, and right then that was all that mattered.
"Not here," he said, moving away.
"Where, then?" she insisted.
He gazed at her, at the dress stretching tightly across her breasts and hips, at the narrow waist, the slim legs. He licked his lips in anticipation.
"How about my apartment. Right after work."
"No," she said firmly, with a determined shake of her head. "I want you right now, Joey."
He looked around nervously. The blonde was glancing at her watch in annoyance.
"Okay. Wait here a minute."
She smiled happily at her triumph as he walked swiftly over to where the blonde was standing. The blonde was smiling, but the smile disappeared as Joey talked to her, and then she turned on her heel and stamped out the front door.
"I hope I didn't get your boss sore at you," Cindy said, when he came back.
"She'll get over it. Come on, we don't have much time."
He guided her from the building out a back way that led to a parking lot. She snuggled close to him as he drove swiftly through the city streets into a residential area filled with apartment buildings.
"I've missed you, Joey," she said.
"I've missed you, too," he said. "I was going to call you as soon as I caught up on some of the work."
He swung the car off the street into a vacant carport beside a new-looking apartment building. Together they walked up concrete steps to a landing at the second floor, where he fitted a key into a door lock, opened the door and stood aside for her to enter.
He followed her into the room and closed the door securely behind them. He seemed relieved as the lock clicked into place and they were alone. He reached her and held her tightly against him, while his hot lips mashed hungrily against hers, the tongue darting across the barrier of her teeth to probe in swift, eager strokes. His hands moved along her back down to the base of her spine and then below, gripping her buttocks in a fervent grip as he pulled her hips against him.
She could sense his growing passion, but she drew away, disturbed for a reason she couldn't fathom.
He stared at her, annoyed. "What the hell's the matter with you? I thought you were all hot and bothered about us getting together?"
"I thought we might talk a little ... first," she said.
She was sorry now she had to play up to him, but it had seemed like the only way to get alone with him. There seemed to be so many other things people who loved each other could do besides making physical love. Even the relationship with Mike had been something very nice.
"Oh, for Christ sakes!" he said, disgusted, throwing up his hands.
Cindy ignored him for the moment and looked around the apartment. The living room was large and neat, not at all how she'd pictured a bachelor's place would be. Of course a maid probably came in once a week to clean up.
"Nice place you've got here," she said.
"Thanks," he said wryly. He glanced at his watch. "I've only got a half hour before getting back. Do you want to walk around and admire the furniture all that time?"
She frowned. It didn't seem like the old Joey she knew. She pressed herself close to him, with her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry, Joey, I just wanted to be with you. I thought we might talk and have some coffee."
"We can do all that later," he said. "Right now, you've got me so hot for you I can't sit still."
"I said I was sorry."
"A lot of help that is. Let's stop wasting time, huh?"
He grabbed her suddenly, pulled her to him and kissed her with renewed savagery. He pressed the length of his body against her, and Cindy knew from the masculine feel of him that there would be no stopping him.
Sex was a. part of love, too-and there would be time, as Joey had said, for talk later. So she didn't resist as he guided her to the couch, lifted her dress up over her knees and thighs and hips, as he pulled her panties down and tossed them on the floor.
She grunted as she felt his weight descend upon her, and she closed her eyes and held on to him, feeling her own female body responding to his maleness. She felt a warm glow permeate her body and a tingling sensation start in the base of her spine and spread rapidly throughout her entire frame.
In a moment, she was writhing uncontrollaby with the passion-fires raging inside her, and she knew that she now wanted him as much as he wanted her. A giant volcano was beginning to erupt inside her, gushing streams of molten lava. She began to moan frantically.
And then, suddenly it was over-for him.
No, her mind cried, not yet!
Joey got up quickly and arranged his clothing.
"Can't we ... can't we stay here a while longer?" she said.
He glanced at his watch. "Don't have time. Besides, I'm not made of iron, you know. Maybe we can try later. Tomorrow maybe during lunch hour."
He went into the bathroom without looking back at her. Cindy lay there for a moment, feeling numb with the realization that something was wrong. Something, but she didn't know what. The fire still raged within her, unquenched, but Joey didn't seem to care, now that he had been satisfied. His manner was very casual.
He came back into the room, his hair combed. "Well, let's go," he said impatiently. "I don't have all day."
"Do you mind if I stay here," she said. "Oh, not permanently," she added, seeing his face, but just to freshen up. I could even make us a dinner and have it ready for you when you come home."
"Sorry, out of the question," he said, brusquely.
"But...."
"For Pete's sake," he cried, annoyed, "you are getting to be a real bitch. Look, I took time off from some important things to come up here and give you what you wanted, didn't I?"
She felt tears welling in her eyes, but she forced them back. She didn't understand why he was talking to her like that. He was like a stranger, some person who thought of her as a sexy broad and nothing else.
"For Pete's sake, now don't start crying. What was it you wanted to talk about, anyway, that was so damned important?"
"Well," she said, "about us."
"About us?" he repeated, incredulously.
"Yes," she said, feeling very uncomfortable. "About ... about our life together."
His eyes widened, and he burst into sudden laughter. She stared at him, not comprehending.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"What's the matter?" he mimicked. "Of all the brainless, naive females in this world, you certainly take the cake, baby."
"Joey...."
"Look, just because you go to bed with some guy doesn't mean he's got an obligation to marry you. Or even see you again, for that matter. I go to bed with lots of girls. We have a roll in the hay, it's a lot of fun for both of us, and that's it-until next time."
She felt tears start to sting her eyes again. "I thought you liked me," she said.
"Of course I like you. You're eighteen, very pretty, and you've got a body that won't quit. I like to kiss you, I like to feel your big boobies, and I like to...."
She closed her mind to what he was saying, but the words burst through anyway.
"Let's not make life any more complicated than it is," he said, "It was a matter of convenience at first. You wanted transportation. I wanted to get laid. Understand?"
Cindy nodded, wordlessly. She understood all too well, and the knowledge was painful. There was no love, not even any affection involved so far as Joey was concerned.
"Now that we understand each other, we can both relax. Cheer up, there'll be other times when we can get together."
She shrugged off his arm. "There aren't going to be any more times," she said indignantly. "Not with me, anyway."
He smirked. "Big deal. Listen, kiddo, there are plenty of other girls just aching to climb into the sack with me."
"Like the blonde at the office, I suppose."
"That's right. And she's not a crybaby either."
"You bastard!" Cindy cried. "The woman who marries you...."
"And for the record," he interrupted, "I'm already married, to a nice young girl who works days and is only too happy to have me nights."
"Married? But you didn't tell me...."
"Why should I tell you my personal affairs?' he said. He glanced at his watch again and said "Let's get out of "here. I've got to get back to work. Any time you're lonely again...."
"I never want to see you again!" Cindy cried angrily.
She threw open the door and stamped angrily from his apartment, down the stairs. She heard his amused laughter, and this only served to infuriate her. As she walked to the bus stop, she was furious with herself for being such a ninny.
A car roared past, tooting, and she looked up to see Joey thumbing his nose at her. She felt the blood pound angrily in her temples and wished she had something to throw at him. She'd been a fool all right, but she'd learned her lesson. She wouldn't be a fool any longer.
Later, on the bus carrying her to the trailer park, she cried unrestrainedly-partly for the love she thought she had, partly for herself for being so naive, but mostly at the new-found knowledge that her mother was right: there was no such thing as love, there was only sex, sex, SEX!