Chapter 5
It was dark.
The air had a musty smell to it. It seemed as though there weren't too many members of this congregation. It seemed, in fact, that there wasn't a lot going on here at all.
"Hello ... " she called out.
No answer. "Is anyone here?"
No answer.
She heard the sounds of feet scurrying across the floor, and thought, my God, mice ... or rats! Creeeps.
What kind of strange church was this?
"Hello!! ! " she called out.
Suddenly, she heard a duor open and a thin voice call out, "Go away, we have no money."
"Hello," she called out again.
"Hello," said the voice, surprised. "You sound like a female."
"There's a very good reason for that," Anna replied.
"Have you come to rob us?"
"No. I've come to be comforted and fed."
"What?"
"The sign. There's a sign out front."
"There is? What's it say."
"You're kidding."
"It says 'you're kidding?' That's absurd. Why would I put a sign up that said something like that? We have enough trouble getting people in here, without insulting them before they even set foot in the door."
"No ... I meant you."
"ME? Would I kid you?"
"No ... I don't mean that...."
"Listen kid, what do you mean?"
"I mean...."
"Look, let me give you some advice. What you don't mean, won't hurt you."
"Huh?"
"Precisely the point. Now ... what can I do for you?"
He seemed to be waking up now, and was starting to assume a more authoritative stance.
"Father Speilberg, at your service."
"Speilberg ... that doesn't sound Catholic."
She took his hand and gave it a squeeze.
"It's probably not. I don't really know my name."
"Because I was an orphan, child, and I was raised by two fine parents who didn't know who they were either."
"That sounds terrible."
"Oh, it was all right. We just didn't do a lot of talking to each other. You know, suburban identity crisis, and all."
Anna was finding him somewhat engaging, despite the fact that he seemed to find it difficult to focus on a single topic for more than two minutes.
"Listen, father, I have to tell you ... I'm really hungry. And I need a place to stay tonight. Do you think I could sleep on one of these pews?"
"Huh?"
"Well ... you know ... just for tonight."
"Child, I'll have none of it. Heh, heh, you'll be more than welcome here ... why, I've got plenty of room right here in the...."
Suddenly the door through which he'd first emerged opened again, and this time a woman looked out.
She seemed to be naked ... at least the part of her that Anna could see was unclothed.
"Father ... aren't you coming back? I've finished my confession, but I want to get communion."
"Certainly, my child ... I shall gladly produce a quantity of the heavenly host for you."
He looked a little awkward, turned to Anna and said, "Go on down to the kitchen dear, and there's a cook down there who'll fix you up right. Just tell him the Father sent you.. "
"Certainly," she said. "Just one thing."
"Eh?" he asked, turning back over his shoulder, as he eagerly made for the door to the room.
"Where is it?"
"What?"
"Where is it?"
"No. Where is what?"
"What about it?"
"NO ... what is it?"
"What is what?"
"No ... you're supposed to tell me what ... then, I'll tell you where ... assuming of course, that it has a where."
"Where is the kitchen?"
"Oh. Well, why didn't you say so? It's right through that doorway and down the stairs."
She watched the strange priest go back through the doorway, and then, the door shut firmly. She heard a large tumbler click into place as he locked it.
She frowned. This was a strange turn. There didn't seem to be a lot going on here that reminded her of any kind of church that she'd ever been familiar with.
But then ... was that necessarily bad?
She'd always hated church. Maybe this one would be a little different.
She went downstairs and found the kitchen exactly as he'd said she would.
There was a friendly looking cook there, and he gave her a curious glance.
"My my my ... what have we here? Ain't you a little young, honey, to be working here?"
"Working? Father Speilberg just told me to come down here and get something to eat?"
"Oh ... the good father did, did he? Well ... I see. You must have come in her because you was looking for a church."
"Well, yeah. I mean...."
"Nevermind ... you'll figure it out soon enough. What can I fix up for you?"
"Gosh ... I really don't have any preference ... you know ... whatever is available."
"Honey, you're the kind of girl that I really like. Just take my advice ... don't hang around here too long ... it's going to grab hold of you and you won't ever get out."
"Huh? I don't get it. Everyone talks in riddles here."
He laughed. "You'll find it helps to keep you sane."
"Why? I don't understand."
"That's just as well ... you don't want to understand. If the good father said you could have a bite to eat, enjoy it, and then drag your ass out of here."
She frowned.
"But he said I could spend the night here." Anna began to cry.
"I don't have anywhere to go ... and I'm all alone in the world, and I'm afraid and I don't know what I'm going to do."
"Yeah ... " said the cook, spooning out a hearty bowl of soup for her, "well, don't go telling any of that to the good father. He'll probably suggest that you stay on for a while."
"Why would that be bad?"
The cook just looked at her.
"Because it ain't no church, for one thing."
"What?"
"Sure ... ain't you figured that out yet?" She shook her head.
"Well, let me ask you this. Where was the good father when you came in upstairs? What was he doing?"
I'll
"Well ... I'll admit, it seemed like a pretty unorthodox way to hear confession, but that's his business, I figured. You know, live and let live ... and all that."
"Christ ... such optimism. I'm stunned. My hat's off to you, little girl. Of course, you're not going to last out there for much more than a day or two before someone decides to fuck with you, but that attitude's refreshing."
"You don't agree?"
He shook his head.
"No ... my attitude is 'Do unto others, and then split', "
"But that's pretty cynical, isn't it?"
"Wait till the good father gets hold of you. You'll learn what cynicism is all about."
Anna was pretty disturbed by all this, and as soon as she'd finished eating, she decided to take the cook's advice and get out. She wasn't sure what was going on in this 'church', but she was rapidly getting the idea that she didn't want to be any part of it. She was upstairs again, and making her way past the dusty pews (how long since people had actually sat there, she wondered. She heard a door open.
"Ah ... there you are, my child ... there you are ... come here, come here ... praise God ... let us pray ... domini domini domino and all that...."
He was trotting amiably down the aisle after her.
"Come, come, don't be shy. You were taken care of downstairs?"
"Oh, yes ... yes. Thank you. I really appreciate it. But I have to be going...."
"Nonsense ... if you had any place to go, you'd have gone there before coming here, isn't that right?"
"Um . ... "
"Sit ... sit. Don't be bashful ... we're not going to hurt you. I just wanted to get to know you a little ... we like to establish a little rapport with all of our staff ... if you know what I mean."
"I really have to be going, father...."
"Father ... oh! Right. I see...."
He was peering at her closely. "Say ... he said. "Who sent you?"
"I don't get it."
"Who are you here from? Who referred you to us?"
"No one ... honestly, I saw the sign...."
"Christ ... you're here because you're looking for a church!
"You sound like Fd better still look. What is this, if it isn't a church?"
He looked exasperated ... and also a little angry.
"Christ ... I can't believe it ... I fucking can't believe it."
"You mean, you aren't a priest?"
"What? Oh. Yeah ... sure. Of course I am. What do you want? I'm a priest. See ... " he said holding out his robes. "You want priest, that's me. Direct pipeline to God. Ready to meet your maker? Let me make all the arrangements ... reservations at the guest hotel upstairs and everything."
"You're not making sense."
"Of course I'm not!! ! ! Does it make sense for supermarkets and shopping centers to go popping up all over the landscape? Hell no! It's a disgrace. That's what it is."
"I don't understand."
"I'm the religion for the age, dear. I give men what their souls truly crave. You see ... what we provide, you won't find in the Bible."
"And what do you provide?"
"Well ... actually ... you want to know the truth ... what we provide looks a lot like you ... with less clothes, of course."
"Oh. I think I'm starting to see."
"Very good. You're a bright kid."
"So you don't have anything to do with God at all, do you?"
"Don't go saying that. The lord moves in mysterious ways. And don't you ever forget it."
"Yeah ... but somehow, I don't think he had this in mind. I mean ... isn't this a ... a ... what's the word...."
"House of ill-repute:"
"Yeah ... that'll do. And you're disguising it as a church. That's disgraceful. It's a terrible thing to do."
"It's also cheap. Do you have any idea the tax break we can get by being a church?"
"No, but I think you should be reported."
"So who's going to do it ... you?"
"No ... I just need a place to sleep."
"Well ... if you don't mind working on your back, I think I can provide one."
"No thanks."
"Suit yourself. Tell you what, you need a place to sleep tonight ... I'll go ahead and let you stay anyway. Just don't ever tell anyone. I'd hate for people to get the wrong idea aobut me."
"Hmmmmmmmm ... " said Anna. "I somehow don't think I have a wrong idea about you."
"Yeah? Well, look, just to show you that I'm a good guy, why don't you go ahead and spend the night. No strings attached ... it's on the house, all right? I mean, what more could you want? Right?"
"Well ... I don't know."
"Come on, we'll set you up in one of the rooms to the back, and no one's going to bother you. I just hate to see a young kid out on the street. It's just not fair."
"Wow ... I sure would appreciate it."
"No problem. My pleasure, as a matter-of-fact."
He was looking at her kind of strange, but she knew better than to argue. It was late, and the city out there was strange and unfriendly ... and besides ... there had to be a lock on the door, didn't there?
He showed her the way to the room, and said, "There's a bathroom down the hall, should you need it. Knock first. You never know who else might be inside.'.
"Somehow, I think I'll be tempted to hold it in."
"Nonsense, child ... the lord doesn't want you to suffer."
"What do you know about the Lord?"
"I talk to him regularly. He gives me my instructions, and I carry out his desires."
"By running a place like this?"
"I told you, the little bugger moves in mysterious ways. Hey, I don't question it. But if he says to me, "Father Speilberg, set up a brothel to ease the sufferings of mankind ... " well, who am I to say no? I mean, that's how he got to be God, right? I'm not about to tell him he's wrong."
"You're really sick."
"Bless you my child."
She slammed the door, and found herself almost shaking. There was something about that man ... at the same time ridiculously tame, and yet seemingly dangerous too..
Sick. That was it. He was sick.
And then, there was still the matter of those two men who barged into Gus's diner after her. Who were they working for ... and why were they after her?
She was too tired to think about it.
In the morning ... in the morning ... she'd worry about it in the morning....