Chapter 3
Billy's Filly Folly
"For a Thursday night, the circus had drawn a huge crowd. The smell of animals filled my nostrils, and shouts of 'Popocorn! Peanuts!' rang through the big top as I stood near the performers' door, watching Karen wind up the finale of her dog show. She saw me watching her, and flashed me a smile as she cracked her whip over Doby's head. Doby, a big male Doberman pinscher, sprang up on his hind legs and twirled around in quick jumping movements, keeping time with the music being played by the circus band. Then Karen cracked her whip again, and this time Debbie, a large female collie jumped into the act by running in a circle around the dancing Doby. After a few more tricks, the act reached a climax, and Karen, Debbie, and Doby ran past me through the door. The applause of the audience roared in my ears as I ran after them.
" 'Let's go to my wagon and have a drink,' Karen said, as I caught up with her. 'Think your dogs will let me?' I chuckled in good humor. 'Don't worry about Doby and Debbie,' she laughed. 'I think they're beginning to like you as much as they like me. I'm the one who should be worried!'
"We reached her wagon and went inside. Karen began to take her costume off, telling me to mix a couple of drinks. I couldn't help snatching glances at her lovely body as she stripped. Karen was twenty years old and the most gorgeous girl in the whole circus troupe. She knew I was watching her and took her sweet-ass time about putting her robe on.
"I think she knew what she was doing to me. She stood naked in front of the narrow full-length mirror, looking at her beautiful slender curves, knowing full well that I was drooling at her. A little ripple of anticipation shot through my groins, and my swelling cock was beginning to show itself through my khaki work pants. I finished mixing the drinks and went over to where Karen was sitting on the edge of her small bed. Taking a drink, she noticed the bulge in my trousers jerk once or twice. Unzipping my fly, she slipped her hand through and grasped my cock.
" 'Wow! You got a whopper for a boy just turned sixteen, baby! How come you're feeling so hot all of a sudden?' she teased me as she pulled my dick out of my pants.
" 'You're the first girl that I ever got to know, Karen. I don't know much about women, but I sure would like to be your boyfriend,' I said as I reached down and slipped a hand into her loose robe, letting it slide around one of her nice round boobs. She moaned a little. 'Ooh, your hands are kinda rough, kid, but I love the way they feel against my tits. It makes me want to get naked. How do you feel about that?'
"She didn't have to say anything else. I loosened my belt, and my pants dropped to the floor. I kicked off my shoes and started unbuttoning my shirt. I watched Karen staring at my body from the waist down to my balls. I guess she was a little surprised at my muscular development, because when I'm wearing a shirt and pants, I give the impression of being on the slender side.
"But now that she saw me with nothing on, she looked at me with that kinda hungry look, staring at my cock which jerked in front of her face. Her robe fell off her shoulders, and she reached out and cupped my balls in her hands. Then, still holding my nuts and squeezing them gently, she drew me closer to her, and as I stood there in front of her next to the bed she sucked my swelling ramrod into her mouth.
" 'Shit,' I whispered with a tremble. Karen moaned real nice as she slid her hot mouth up and down over my shaft, and I thought sure I was going to blast off into her throat any minute. She let her tongue curl around it like a snake, sucking on my dick with long slow slides of her head. As my dick slid in and out of her hot mouth, I trembled and got weak in the knees, and I realized for the first time in my life what a kick it was to let a girl suck my cock. I never did realize before that the slippery hot lips of a chick could feel so damn good.
"Karen began going faster up and down on my throbbing prick, and I started to feel the little quivers and spasms down inside me begin to spread over my hips and ass. My legs began jerking slightly, and Karen, realizing that I was getting close to shooting off, slipped one hand back between my legs and up the crack of my ass. Shit! I thought I would blow a hole right through the back of her head when she did that, but she slowed down her rhythm and prevented me from going off.
"After I cooled down a bit, she massaged her hand back up into the crack of my ass again. While she kept squeezing my juicy balls with one hand, and moving her hot mouth up and down over my bulging shaft, she shoved a finger up into the tight muscular crack of my sweaty ass, like she was probing and searching for my ass-hole. It didn't take her long to find it, and my body jerked in a sort of spasm as her finger, which was slippery from the sweat oozing from the skin of my tight ass-cheeks, began rubbing around the rim of my shitter.
"Slowly, she increased the pressure of her finger against my ass-hole, and gradually began to insert it into my rectum, all the while continuing to squeeze my balls with her other hand and keeping up the steady rhythm of her head as it bobbed up and down over my bulging, jerking prick.
"Karen, baby, I think I'm going to shoot,' I moaned as I stood there in front of her, shaking like a scared rabbit But she didn't seem to pay any attention to me. She just kept on getting wilder and wilder, like she wanted nothing else in the world except for me to blast right off into her mouth. She didn't stop what she was doing, just kept her mouth and her two hands busy as hell. I never felt anything so goddam good in my life, and I knew I was going to fire the biggest load I ever fired. I growled down at her like an animal, 'Karen, I'm-I'm going to blow, baby, you hear me? Shit! I'm getting ready-here it comes, bitch-oooh, goddam!' I cursed at her and just as I felt like coming, she quickly came off my cock, then jumped up and kissed me on the mouth. Her tongue dug down into my throat, and the sudden change of tactics surprised me enough to cool me down just in time. Another second, and I would have com right in her mouth. Even so, my dick was jumping up and down and bouncing right into her snatch, and I almost shot off anyway.
"After a few seconds of wild kissing, she reached down and squeezed my balls. They were all squishy and slimy from the hot spit that drooled out of her mouth while she was sucking me. 'Don't worry, kid. Karen's not going to poof into thin air. I know what you're feeling right now, and that's the way I want you to feel. This girl's been around enough to know what she wants, and right now I want you to just relax and let me do my thing. Okay?' When she said it like that, I felt like eating her alive. I guess I fell in love with her right then and there. Hell, no other girl, or man either, ever made me feel like I was worth shit until I met Karen, and I was so green I guess I didn't know how to make love very good. But I felt if anyone could teach me, it was Karen. God, she was so damn beautiful, and it didn't make any difference to me that she was older than I was.
"Karen went back down, licking along my chest and stomach and rubbing her hands down along the small of my back. Little ripples shot through me again, and my knees shook with the realization that her mouth would be sucking like hell on my sex-crazy cock any second. And I knew after what she had just said to me that she probably wanted me to shoot off in her mouth. Then I felt a hot wetness around the head of my fucker as Karen slipped her luscious lips over it. Her tongue tickled the slit, almost like she was trying to force her tongue right up into my prick. I groaned and dug my fingers into her hair as she suddenly drove her mouth suckingly down over the full length of my throbbing rod. I could feel the head of my big dick jammed way down her throat, and I wondered how in hell she could take so much. I could hear her gurgle, and I thought I must be choking the life out of her beautiful neck, so I pulled back to give her a chance to breathe. But she grabbed me by the buns and hugged hard, driving my dick all the way to the hilt back into her throat.
"Groaning loudly, I closed my eyes while she curled her tongue around my cock and swirled around it. I could feel the come in my balls begin to boil and steam and she worked over my trigger-happy cock. My legs began to tremble again crazily, and I thought they might crumble under me any second. God, she was going wild over my body, her hands massaging my rear end, then .squeezing my balls, then rubbing beautifully around on my stomach. I was getting weak. I guess I was learning for the first time just how great love could be.
"Karen started slurping in long steady strokes up and down over the whole length of my jerking rod, from the tip of my red-hot mushroom all the way to my balls and back again, up and down, up and down. 'Christ, baby, you're driving me up the goddam wall!' I yelled. But she didn't stop. I was going limp. I reached up instinctively to find something to hold onto. My hands found a wooden beam up above her bed. I grabbed it and hung on for dear life as she kept pumping her fantastic mouth up and down on me. All I could do was hang onto the beam or fall to the floor, so I kept hanging on. Then I could hear Karen moaning deliciously. I glanced down and saw Doby, the big Doberman, thrusting his nose into Karen's crotch, licking over her clit with his long tongue. Saliva was dripping from his lips as he lapped into her cunt, and Karen spread her legs so he could get in closer to her. He was eating her pussy like crazy.
"Hanging there from the beam like a big monkey with my feet just off the floor wasn't easy, strong as I am. But I got an idea. I swung my quivering muscular legs up and over Karen's shoulders, and this took some of my weight. It also exposed my ass better to her hands, I quickly found out. She shoved a finger right into my rectum and began to fuck my convulsing ass-hole like mad. Every time she rammed her finger in, I thought sure I was going to blow. Her other hand gently crushed and massaged my balls, which were slippery and wet from the spit and juices from Karen's mouth, and she kept her mouth moving up and down over my cock like a nymphomaniac.
"Big heat waves of torture and pleasure shot through my body as I hung there above her, my legs clamped around her head, and I knew I was going to blast off any second. I moaned and sobbed and convulsed as my rectum took the firm jabs of her finger as she rammed it in and out of my ass-hole. The friction was causing heat to build up inside my ass, and I felt like I was going to shit all over the place. But it felt so fucking good I didn't want her to stop. I stammered like an idiot, 'Don't stop, don't stop, shit!' and hung onto the beam overhead while I writhed and trembled all over from head to toe. I could see my feet wriggling out of control like fish flopping wildly to get back into water.
"Then it happened. Great big ripples tore my whole body, causing my muscles to tighten and convulse. My legs locked around Karen's head, clamping her between my thighs like in a vise, forcing my cock straight down her throat. I could hear her choking and gasping, almost struggling for a breath of air, but I couldn't let go. The juices were shooting up through my throbbing cock, and I could feel Karen's finger fucking in and out of my ass-hole like a little penis. I think she tried to scream something as my hot thick come exploded through the head of my dick and battered against the back of her throat like hot bullets of lead. Wad after wad of my come kept spurting furiously into her mouth, and I could tell she was gulping every bit of it right down into her stomach. God, I never felt anything so fantastic. All I could do was hang on and groan and keep shooting off into that beautiful girl's mouth while she pumped and milked my throbbing shaft. I thought she would drown in my salty-sweet semen, but she kept on swallowing rapidly as I blasted off.
"Finally, my ejaculations began to subside, and she slowed down the fucking motion of her finger in my ass. As I started to relax like a limp rag, she finally pulled it out of my shit hole slowly, and milked my softening cock with a final slow suck of her lips, pulling her mouth off my dick but still keeping the suction going in her mouth. She drained every last little rubbery strand of sperm juice out of me, and gulped it down.
"My prick, still throbbing like a hot iron, finally slipped out of Karen's mouth with a little plop. 'Karen....' I started to stammer something, but she suddenly jumped up in front of me. I was still hanging by my arms from the rafter, afraid to let go because my legs might buckle under me if I tried to stand. She embraced me around the neck while I hung there, put her lovely lips to mine, and darted her tongue into my mouth. I could taste the flavors of my own love-come as she kissed me. Finally, I released my grip on the beam overhead, and we both fell onto her bed in a tight passionate embrace. It wasn't long before I was fast asleep.
"I awoke several hours later to a tingling sensation. I glanced up from my pillow to see Debbie, the beautiful female collie, gently licking my balls. As she continued lapping around my testicles and into the crack of my ass below my nuts, tiny electric sparkles of pleasure danced around on the head of my cock. The shaft was beginning to change from a soft fleshy spout into a stiff ramrod. As it grew and swelled, rising in little jerks, shaping itself into the bulging club of my young manhood, Debbie began to lick upward from my balls toward the pulsing head. Now she curled her tongue around the base of my erect cock, sliding her hot tongue up along my shaft toward the bulging mushroom at the top. I lay back with my eyes closed, letting my imagination carry me to lands of milk and honey, letting my hot sweaty hand fall gently onto Karen's love-nest, feeling Debbie's dog-mouth completely engulf the head of my jerking prick.
"With my hand resting on Karen's luscious little nest of fine silky hairs, I began to probe through her nest, searching for the lips of her cunt. She moved with a sigh in her sleep. I didn't want to awaked her. I thought it would be nice to finger her crotch while she slept, and watch her reaction. I really got very horny and hot thinking about it, and Debbie's moist mouth and tongue, licking all over the top of my prick, sent little chills of ecstasy shooting from my knees to my ass-hole to my stomach. I was still half asleep, almost on the verge of a dream, I think, and yet I was being led down corridors of warm lust and feelings into a world of physical pleasure and love which was all new to me. I wanted it to go on and on, and never come to a stop. I wanted to give myself to Karen and Doby and Debbie, sharing my love with them.
"I lay for a while like that in Karen's arms, relaxing in the gentle warmth of her affection. I said, half asleep, half dreaming, 'I guess there are some things I'll never get over.' Karen heard me and asked, 'What things, honey?' I replied, still half asleep, 'Oh, I don't know yet. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that here I am with you and Debbie and Doby, and I don't ever want to leave.'
"My tongue hungered for her mouth, and I rolled to her and kissed her. Then I let my hand slip down to her moist warm crotch. As I probed a finger into her pussy lips, she said, 'Baby, you can stay here with me as long as you like, and become one of the family. Okay?' The way she said that made me almost cry with relief and joy, and I began to think that life was beautiful after all.
" 'I'm only sixteen, Karen,' I said, but I'm strong and I can work in the circus. Who knows, I might even be able to work up a good act of my own someday, and we can stay together a long time. Anyway, I'm in love with you, Karen.'
"I crawled up over and on top of her. Then I slipped a hand around her waist and let it slide down along her spine, dropping it still further down over her smooth round rump. I squeezed her firm ass cheeks tenderly, sliding my fingers in and out of the crack of her ass, feeling the soft hairs in the valley of her rear end. My fingers probed deeper into the crack until one of them found the small round pucker of her rectum. I rubbed around it in little circular motions, letting my finger slide around its rim, and felt it contract and relax in little spasms. My stalk was really stiff now, squeezing itself between her moist thighs, rubbing and pressing itself up against her little mound. I could feel the bulbous head of my prod at the entrance of her pussy lips, and slowly started pushing it in. She made a little groan of desire. The slick hot lubrications from her vagina were oozing out of her lips and covering the head of my dick with a thick film of slimy love cream. Little drops of come were also oozing out the head of my dick, and it was easy to slip it into Karen's tight but begging cunt. I could tell she wanted it all the way in, but I was going to tease her a little.
" 'Oh, Bill, shove it to me! God, shove it now!' she cried and pleaded. Her words got to me, and I suddenly rammed the entire length of my billy club hard all the way in. She gasped, and trembled violently. I put my mouth to hers and, thrusting my tongue deeply into her throat, sucked on her lips, drawing her mouth juices into my own mouth. Then I shot the thick wads of mucus back into her mouth, and she gulped them down her throat with heavy moans of passion.
"Pulling my lips gently away from her mouth, I went down to her luscious breasts and tickled the rosy tips with my flickering tongue. They popped up stiff and erect, and then I sucked down over them, nibbling them with my teeth and lips, until Karen was squirming under me in torment and bliss. As my mouth worked over her breasts, and tongued around them and under them and over them, my hands massaged her rear end and played little games around the entrance of her ass-hole.
"All the time I was doing this, I kept moving my hips in a steady up and down motion over her cunt, fucking her with my thick stiff cock. And every time I plunged it into her, I would grab her around her ass and pull it up toward me, enabling me to drive my long shaft all the way to the bottom of her cunt. Karen writched in agony and joy as she felt my piston pumping inside her cylinder. She cried, 'I love you, Billy, I love you! I want you to stay with me and Debbie and Doby.' At the sound of their names, the dogs jumped up on the bed, and after looking around for a moment, they seemed to get the idea of what was going on. In fact, they looked like they wanted to get into the act.
"Karen said, 'Here, Debbie-up here, girl,' and the lovely female collie crawled around to the top of the bed, where Karen's head was. Debbie practically sat right on top of Karen's face. 'Hmmm, good girl,' moaned Karen as her face became buried in the long lovely fur of Debbie's bosom. As Debbie settled and sat over Karen's face, the other dog, Doby, eased up behind me.
"The next thing I knew, the big male Doberman had straddled me. I could feel the heat of his breath as it hit the back of my neck, and then I felt little drops of his dog-saliva drip onto the back of my head and neck and shoulders. It felt strangely hot and sent little shivers of excitement down my spine. His tongue licked and slurped around my ears, sending me out of my mind. Everything seemed to be happening at once all of a sudden.
"I kept pumping into Karen's cunt steadily with my cock, jabbing into her hard as my balls swung and bounced below her cunt. My finger began inserting itself into her ass-hole, which was slippery from the cunt juices streaming from her crotch, down between her legs, and into the crack of her ass. My finger moved in a circular motion around her rectum, and then I shoved it suddenly but gently into her hit little anus. Karen was moving like a steam engine as little waves and spasms vibrated through her body. She reached around me and guided Doby closer to me, so that his protruding penis began to probe its way into the sweaty crack of my ass. Karen guided his stiff projection further into my crack, and it felt hot and wet as the slick tip jammed at the entrance to my quivering anus.
"I whispered, 'That's it, baby,' as Karen eased the tip of Doby's erect and jerking rod into the center of my puckering ass-hole. It felt strange and slimy as the hot point began to slide into my ass. I made a little groan when Doby began hunching a little more into me, sending his prick deeper into my bowels. I began to like the tingling sensation in my groin, and I realized that I wanted to feel the full length of Doby's shaft plugging up my rectum. I was getting close to shooting off, and I was doing all I could to hold off a little longer. I didn't want to shoot until all four of us were ready to blast together.
"Karen's bulging breasts were keeping my mouth and lips and tongue busy as hell, while my cock was shoving and churning in and out of her pussy. Her ass was heaving up and down, keeping in perfect rhythm with the motions of my hips as I fucked her. My finger was moving in and out of her ass-hole, building up a searing heat from the friction of my big farm-boy finger sliding firmly along the inner walls of her anus.
"Suddenly, I felt the tip of Doby's dog-cock begin to shove itself smoothly and thrillingly up my ass, and the more he shoved it into me, the more I liked it. He kept shoving it into me until I thought I was going to twist in pain, but then he suddenly stopped his thrusting, and held it steady, letting my rectum get used to this new ordeal. Soon, however, he started to hunch in and out like all male dogs do when they fuck, trembling all over his furry body, arching his back slightly as he prepared to give my ass the full thrust of his enlarged organ. I could feel the smooth surface of his cock slamming like a jackhammer in and out of my anus, and I goaded him on. 'Go, boy, get 'em!' He seemed to get the message, and started fucking my ass like it was the last piece of tail be would ever see. I went wild and made growling sounds, and this only made him fuck my ass harder and faster.
"Karen, her face buried deep under Debbie's thighs, was darting her tongue in and out of Debbie's cunt-hole, sucking the hot liquids which were pouring from the bitch's vagina. Debbie was sitting heavily on Karen's face, oblivious to everything except the feel of Karen's long tongue snaking on the inside of her pussy. Waves of taut, shivering bliss began to engulf me during our trembling fucking and heaving, and I began to quicken my tempo as I plunged my rammer in and out, faster and faster, driving it deep and hard into Karen. She cried and sobbed and twisted under me as I fucked her, and I could imagine her tongue swirling viciously inside the birch's hot creaming dog-cunt. As I slammed my cock in and out of her, I kept holding her with one hand and finger-fucked her ass with stiff jabs until her rectum felt like it was on fire. Then I jerked it out of her ass suddenly, and she almost screamed in delicious torment.
"Seeing her go wild like that made me feel like an animal. I had been fucking her ass with my index finger, but now I decided to use my middle finger, which was longer and thicker. I centered the end of my blunt middle finger right in the middle of her spasming shit-hole, then without warning I drove it stiffly right up into her rectum. This time she did scream. I could tell it must have hurt her a little bit, but I could also tell that she loved it. She was getting screwed in both holes at the same time, and the knowledge that I was giving her so much sensation just made me hotter. Jesus, I rammed the shit out of that wonderful girl, rammed her like a stud horse up her cunt and screwed her lovely ass-hole with my big strong finger. Her little ass was so hot from the friction of my finger, I knew it was driving her out of her mind. And it was.
"Karen continued to groan and moan and cry as I worked over her delicious body, and I could feel her vibrate and shake all over from the ecstasy. Debbie, the lovely female collie, was moaning and breathing into my face while Karen sucked her dog cunt, and Doby, the big black Doberman, had only one thing in mind: to keep on fucking my ass until he shot his load of dog sperm right up into my hot throbbing shitter. His slippery cock felt like a hot poker sliding in and out of my rectum as he hunched over me from behind.
"Suddenly, I realized that I was heading for the most incredible ejaculation I had ever had. I kept growling little dog-sounds and this made Doby growl back at me as he fucked my ass. I sucked hard on one of Karen's tits, biting it with my teeth gently, and started fucking into her crotch faster and faster. My body tensed and stiffened with each thrust, and I knew it was just a matter of seconds before I shot my wad forcefully into her. I could feel the creams boiling in my balls, verging on exploding and steaming like lava into Karen's churning gripping cunt.
"I couldn't hold it back any longer. With a pile-driving lunge, I drove my bulging cock into Karen to the hilt. Karen, buried under Debbie's dog pussy, choked out a muffled scream as I hammered my prick into her scorching cunt, and then Doby shot off right up my ass. My bowels burned with joy as the big black dog shot his thick spurts of hot semen into my rectum, and then I felt the cream of my own cock gather and, with stupendous muscular contractions throughout my groin, spiral through my throbbing penis and explode furiously into Karen's crotch with searing force. We must have all started together, because right after I started unloading into Karen, she shook terribly from head to foot all over, and kept muttering and gurgling into Debbie's dog pussy. We all kept spurting and shooting and fucking like crazy. I can't remember how long it lasted. I guess Karen must have passed out pretty soon after her insane climax, because she went limp all of a sudden. I think I went blank for a moment myself. I felt like I was swimming around in a swirling pool of hot liquids and semens and come-juices. Finally, after it was all over, I went limp on top of Karen, breathing deeply, exhausted, trying to come to my senses, but I just fell into a blank sleep."
In psychoanalytic sessions with Billy, it became eventually clear that his was a classic case of gradually increasing dissociation. The principal factors of his background and exposure, coupled with several recurring dreams which he described during his analysis led to the conclusion that Billy's personality was severely thwarted, and that it was perhaps too late to rectify the injuries of his psyche. Aside from Billy's indulgences in sexual acts with animals, there were other, more insidious, expressions in his general personality, subtle hints here and there which seemed to symbolize deep despair and a tortured soul.
Billy was born and raised on an isolated farm in the backwoods country of Arkansas. He was the only child of an extremely stern and an unhappy but stoic mother. Both his parents were strict, God-fearing people, his father never expressing any kind of affection for the boy, and his mother only rarely. Consequently, Billy had to grow up by himself, never learning to form a stable self-identity, never having the opportunity to play and frolic with other children, never learning the give-and-take compromises which life imposes on all of us.
Billy's life, therefore, was one of dulling routine and hard work on the farm. The family was poor, and the struggle was unrelenting and joyless as they scraped a bare living from the soil. Young Billy was reared as though he were one of the work animals of the farm, and was often treated with less affection. Billy's father was, as we shall see later, the principal villain in the drama.
Billy's mother was a short stout woman, and although strong, she was dominated by her husband. It was a really sad sort of existence for both mother and son. Often a too-strong patriarchy can thwart a young boy's confidence in himself, can lead to feelings of sexual inadequacy and fear of expressing his real feelings for people, and sometimes even to indications of homosexuality. It is, in fact, rather surprising to find little evidence of compulsive homosexuality expressing itself in Billy's behavior, although he had indulged in sex-play on several occasions with his older cousin, Tom.
Tom was from a big industrial city, and visited the farm on two separate summers, once when Billy was thirteen, and again when Billy was sixteen. Tom was virtually the only person with whom Billy related in any manner that could be described as happy. Billy looked up to Tom and admired him, since Tom was a little older and more sophisticated. The two boys developed a rather warm affection for each other, which several times expressed itself sexually.
Billy described some of the events which took place during Tom's last visit to the farm. From this story, we can get a glimpse into Billy's subconsciously directed fascination with animals.
"I saw Tom sputtering down the dirt road toward the front gate of the farm. As I opened up the gate, Tom's old jalopy roared through. Then I saw the biggest dog I ever saw sitting in the car with him. Tom jumped out, and the big hound leaped after him in a big playful bound.
" 'Tom!' I yelled. The big dog ran and leaped at me and knocked me over like I was a twig. Tom snapped, 'Chief! Get down!' Chief had been straddling me as I lay on the ground under his enormous hulk. I laughed and said, Tom, what in
God's name is it?' 'That's Chief,' Tom said. 'Pure-blood Great Dane.' 'Will he bite?' I asked, petting Chief cautiously. 'No, he won't bite anybody. He just-likes to slobber on everybody and love them to death,' answered Tom. 'He won't bite. I can tell he-likes you pretty good, already.'
" 'Hey, Chief, how's it going, boy?' I said gently as I patted the top of his head. The next thing I knew Chief stood up on his back legs, threw his big paws over my shoulders, and started licking my face with a huge wet tongue. I stumbled backwards, and fell to the ground. Again, Chief was straddling me, licking all over my face and ears and neck, slobbering all over me with big gushes of dog-drool dripping from his mouth. I reached up, laughing and struggling, trying to prevent his long tongue from licking my mouth.
" 'Wow, look at the shaft he's got hanging between his legs,' I said as Chief stood over me so that his balls were hanging right over my head. 'Yeah,' said Tom, 'you ought to see it when he gets a hard on. It's bigger than yours, I bet,' teased Tom as he pulled Chief back so I could get up off the ground. Then we all piled in the old topless jalopy and headed for the farmhouse.
"After Tom and I ate supper, ma told us she was going into town to visit pa. 'Pa's sick in the hospital. He's got a hernia and needs an operation,' I explained to Tom as ma grabbed her purse and shawl and drove off to town. We watched her drive out the front gate and down the dirt road, leaving little trails of dust hanging in the air. Finally, Tom turned to me and said, 'I'm glad your old man's not home, Billy.'
"That night, after Tom and I took a playful, invigorating shower together, we went into my room and crawled into the big double bed. Tom got some cigarettes out of his shirt and returned to the bed, lighting one for each of us. 'I really lucked out this year, Billy,' Tom said. 'My old man made a bunch when he sold his business and retired a couple of months ago.' Tom told me about how he talked his dad into buying him the old junk-heap car and the Great Dane, and how he would be going to junior college in the fall.
"We shot the bull for about an hour. I was hungry to hear about Tom's life in the city, all the crazy wild things he did for kicks, the sex movies he went to see sometimes, and the wild parties he told me about where some of the kids smoked dope and stuff. 'I wish we lived together in the city, Tom,' I said wistfully. 'Nothing ever happens out here on the farm.'
" 'Let's take our shorts off, huh?' said Tom. We got naked while Chief, the huge Dane, watched us, fascinated by our quiet, cat-like maneuvers. We both jumped back into the bed and pulled the blanket up over us; it was getting cold.
" 'Why don't we let Chief get into bed with us?' I said, my teeth chattering. 'I bet he's freezing his nuts off laying on the floor by himself.' Tom agreed and called Chief into bed with us. The big dog hopped up on the bed and crawled under the covers between Tom and me.
"Chief laid down between Tom and me, and I let my hand roam around his furry body. I squeezed his big balls in my fingers, then bounced them gently in my hands. He seemed to like it. Then I let my fingers curl around the furry sheath which hid his big dog cock. 'Jesus, what a prod!' I said as I felt the whole length of Chiefs fucker.
" 'Here, let me show you what he-likes," said
Tom, getting into a sixty-nine position with his dog.
"I really started getting horny when Tom began licking the tip of Chiefs pistol. I started beating my meat while I watched Tom engulf the dog's cock with his mouth, and watched the dog begin to hunch and hunch and hunch, thrusting his animal rod way down into Tom's throat. The dog began to make groaning guttural sounds and I guessed that meant he was almost ready to shoot. Tom grabbed my hand and guided it to Chiefs tail end. I figured out that Tom wanted me to shove a finger up Chiefs shit-hole.
"I licked my finger all over to get it slippery and slick, then started inserting it slowly and gently into Chiefs rectum. The dog was really trembling in little quakes, now, and hunching his pelvis back and forth faster and faster. I could feel the muscles inside his ass flex and relax in tiny quivers, and I reached another hand around to his balls. I could feel the dog cock sliding hotly in and out of Tom's mouth, and then I noticed also that the big dog was lapping away at Tom's balls. A sudden flash of hot passion jolted through my body, making me quiver with a strange feeling. Feelings I had never known before flooded over me. I think I fell in love with my newfound comrades a little bit, and I wanted them to stay on the farm forever.
"I felt like I had some real friends at last, and I didn't want to lose them. I looked forward to the weeks of fun and games that the three of us could have.
"Chief was being torn by big shivers of sexual pleasure, and his body was trembling and stiffening like a dying animal's. Tom's hot dripping mouth was moving faster and faster up and down over Chiefs throbbing and jerking canine cock, and the little circle of muscle tissue around the rim of the dog's anus began to contract and quiver. Then, with a loud dog moan, a moan of pleasure and release, Chief exploded his life juices into Tom's throat, and I almost shot myself I was so hot from watching it. Tom groaned and gasped as he took the hot dog sperm being shot from the end of Chiefs pecker. Slowly, the animal's body melted and relaxed, and I knew his ejaculation was over.
"My own cock was on the verge of shooting all over the sheets, I was so hot. Chief was already off the bed and curling up on a rug across the room. It was just me and Tom, now, and I said in a trembling voice, 'Tom, I think I'm getting ready to shoot all over the place, and I don't think I can stop it.' Tom quickly lunged at me, threw his head to my cock, and engulfed it with his warm slimy mouth. Suddenly we were clasping each other in a sixty-nine position, sucking on each other's cocks, and a few seconds later we both groaned and gulped as our throbbing dicks spurted and shot off their hot loads of thick cream. I could taste the wild flavor of Tom's come on my tongue, feel thick globs of sperm cream as it oozed over my lips and slid down my throat. I kept shooting my warm wads into Tom's mouth, and he hugged me hard around my ass, forcing my cock way down into his throat while I unloaded. Finally, when it was over, Tom gasped, 'like, wow!' I said, 'Man, what a blast that was. Your mouth sure felt good and hot.' In a few minutes, we were fast asleep."
Basically, outside of Tom's visit, Billy grew up in an environment of isolation and loneliness on the farm, having only the farm animals with which to play, with which to form friendships, and, inevitably, with which to express love, both physical and temporal love. It is not surprising that Billy, out of his aloneness and very restricted environment, out of the fact that he received virtually no love and affection from his parents, would instinctively turn to the animals on the farm as a source of companionship and love.
When Billy was still a young boy, around eight years old, he experienced a moment of loathing and hatred and fear for his father as he watched his father castrate some pigs behind the barn. For years after this event, Billy had a recurring dream in which he heard the frantic squeals of the pigs and saw the demented leering face of his father as the old man strung them up by their hind legs and with a sharp knife cut off their testicles. When Billy had this dream, he would wake up, trembling and sweating and unable to go back to sleep. There were other dreams, centering around his mother.
In one, Billy recalled dreaming that he and his mother are standing over the grave of his father. In this dream, no one understands how the old man died, and no one wants to find out. Billy sobs and weeps over his father's grave, crying out that he is afraid of something dreadful. He pleads with his mother to help him, to tell him what he's afraid of. She suddenly turns to him, sprouts little horns on her forehead, and, grimacing at him, cackles, "It's the devil you're afraid of!"
There were many such dreams which Billy had while he was growing up on the farm. It is not difficult to begin to understand the causes and the pattern of Billy's growing psychosis, and to conclude, unfortunately, that he probably will never be able to function in a completely normal manner, that he will probably never overcome the severe handicaps he suffered.
As it has been already indicated, Billy's older cousin, Tom, was the only person with whom Billy related happily, and then only on the two brief occasions when Tom went to the farm for the summer, once when Billy was thirteen, and again when he was sixteen. During the first summer, the two lads were kept busy with farm chores, but managed to steal away into the damp woods or distant pastures. They walked together on long hikes, sometimes resting for a while on top of a hay stack. Tom would tell Billy of life in the big city, and Billy would show Tom secret places in the woods; often the two boys would stare in wonder and excitement as they watched the various animals on the farm copulate. The boys found in each other new experiences, new reflections on life, a brief and inadequate compensation for the years of loneliness Billy had endured in tortured silence.
Tom's second visit to the farm, when Billy was sixteen, resulted in a climax which was to be the psychological breaking point, as it were, in Billy's life. For several days, the boys abandoned themselves to free and imaginative enterprises, doing only the chores and work which they could get by with. For the most part, they indulged in idle pleasure, taking long hikes into the woods, hunting for snakes, and romping in the pastures with Chief, the dog, and Filly, a young mare which was Billy's pride and joy.
For a while, the foursome were happy and free, and Billy secretly wished that the summer could go on forever. But, the summer ended all to abruptly. In the following narrative, Billy describes the scene inside the barn, and its explosive climax which became the turning point in Billy's life. It was this event which "broke" Billy's psyche beyond repair, a shock from which he will never fully recover.
"We came racing into the barn, laughing hysterically, with Filly and Chief hot on our heels, playfully trying to run us down. Tom and I fell on a heap of straw as Chief bounded on top of us in a storm of straw and feathers. A few seconds later, Filly, the lovely mare, sauntered into the barn and stood a few feet away from us. Suddenly, a stream of piss shot out of her cunt, sputtering into a puddle on the dirt floor of the barn. I guess Chief was impressed by the idea, for he jumped off Tom and me and bounced over to where Filly was standing and pissing. Then he lifted a leg and shot a stream of piss from the tip of his dangling cock. The end of it protruded visibly, exposing three or four inches of pink slick prick, and his heavy balls swung like eggs in a basket between his legs.
"When Chief finished unloading his urine, he reached out and nudged Filly on her cunt, taking a couple of laps at her moist, still-dripping pussy hole. She gave a quick snort, then stretched out her neck so that she could nuzzle her nose in under Chiefs tail and sniff his cod.
" 'Wow, looks like Chief and Filly want to make out, the way they're licking at each other's boxes,' laughed Tom. I replied, 'Why don't we take our clothes off and see if we can encourage them. Okay?'
" 'Okay,' Tom agreed. We both stripped our clothes off and laid down in the pile of straw. We started playing with our dicks, and after Filly and Chief stared at us for a few seconds, they decided to join in the fun. Chief ambled over and began nosing in between Tom's thighs, licking and dripping his dog-spit all over the head of Tom's cock. Filly gave a little whinny as she stood practically over us. I reached up my hand and touched her on her crotch. The skin around it quivered as I pressed my hand firmly up against her little bulging pussy.
"I ran a finger around the edge of her fuck hole. Then I gently probed inside her cunt, rubbing my finger in a circle all the way around the inside of her pussy. Tom and Chief were doing a crazy sixty-nine in the straw. I stood up and walked around to Filly's rear end, facing her ass-hole. She swished her tail back and forth across my chest. I lifted her tail up, exposing her ass-hole, and I really got excited. I started shaking at the knees. By now, my prick was standing straight out, hard as a rock, and I didn't know whether to shove it into her ass or ram it up her cunt.
"I placed a wooden box behind the mare so that, when I got up on it, my cock pointed right up into the crack of Filly's rear end. The head of my prick, which was really throbbing, came to rest against her warm little cunt-hole. The positioning was perfect, allowing me to hunch my shaft right up toward her cunt.
"Tom looked up to see what I was up to. 'Hey, man, that looks pretty groovy,' he said. He got up and came over. Seeing my big stiff rod between Filly's legs, he said, 'Here, let me guide your dick in.' He grabbed my pulsing prick and guided the head of it slowly into the opening of Filly's vagina. 'It's going in just fine, Billy, just keep pushing forward and up. That's it. Crazy, man, it's going in!'
"I could feel the hot wet membranes inside Filly's cunt as the head of my shaft slid deeper and deeper into her, and I wanted to melt into her, give all of myself to her, let her know how much she meant to me. Without Filly, I had nothing on the farm. She was the only happiness in my life, outside of Tom and Chief. But Tom and Chief would be gone after the summer, and I longed for some way to make Filly realize that I loved her more than anything, and that I wanted to stay with her the rest of my life.
"I was getting hotter and hotter by the second, feeling my dick being squeezed by Filly's pussy muscles. She turned her head around and looked at me while I fucked her. Then she gave a little snort and I could tell she really liked the feel of my prick fucking away inside her hot trembling snatch.
"I began shoving in and pulling back in long strokes, thrusting and pulling, deeper and deeper. She was slick as butter. Her warm juices began oozing around my cock, dripping like hot syrup down around my balls, seeping into the crack of my ass. Next thing I knew, Tom had come around and stepped up on the box right behind me. His long prod was really bulging when he shoved it into the crack of my ass.
" 'Keep fucking her," Tom said, as he slid his arms around my waist, pulling himself closer to me. I could feel the head of his cock press and jab against the rim of my ass-hole as I kept hunching my dick into Filly's cunt. "That's good, Billy. Keep going, kid, nice and easy,' Tom purred as he kept increasing the pressure of his head against my ass-hole.
"Then, with a sudden stab, Tom popped the huge head of his rod into my rectum. All he had to do was just stand there behind me while I kept on fucking Filly in her rear. 'I'm getting ready to blow, Tom,' I said with a shiver.
" 'So am I, Billy, so am I!' Tom's voice shook as he shoved his staff further and further up my shit-ter.
" 'Ooh, Jesus,' I groaned as I started pumping my hot load of come into Filly's slimy cunt. Then a warm sensation flooded inside me as Tom shot his rocks off in my ass. I could really feel the jerks in his big cock as he continued ramming it in and out of my ass. The big head of his dick kept sliding back and forth, unloading hot wads of come inside my rectum. My own cock kept shooting off into Filly. Chief was standing behind Tom, licking insanely into the crack of Tom's ass.
" 'What in hell is going on here!' a loud voice cracked through the barn. We all jumped and looked around to see my pa standing in the doorway of the barn. The expression on his face was one of complete confusion, disbelief, and outrage.
" 'Pa!' I stammered. My heart pounded in fear as I watched his face contort insanely.
"He ran from the barn, got a rifle from the house, and ran back, yelling, 'God forgive you, Billy, for what you've done!'
"Tom and I scrambled to get our clothes on as pa led Filly outside of the barn. As Tom and I ran out into the barnyard, we saw my pa lift his rifle and point it toward Filly's head.
" 'No, pa, no! Don't shoot Filly! F'God's sakes, pa, don't do it! Don't do it!' I kept screaming as I ran to knock him down. But before I could reach him, I heard the shot of the rifle. My ears rang, and I felt like I was going crazy. It seemed like all the pain and misery and loveliness of sixteen years surged up inside my throat. I tried to choke out words, but I couldn't make a sound. Hardly realizing what I was doing, I grabbed the gun out of my father's hands and started beating him with it. I chased him all over the barnyard, knocking the butt of the rifle against his head, his shoulders, his back. Anywhere I could hit him, I hit him. He fell to the ground, screaming trying to protect himself from me. I was like an animal, crazy and wild. Only one idea was in my head, and that was to kill. I stood over him and beat him with the gun. Through my tears, I saw the blood gush and spurt from his crushed nose and dribble from the cut in his neck. I kept on beating him and screaming at him. 'Stop moving!' I cried. 'You're dead, you're dead!'
"I came to my senses enough to realize that my ma was screaming and crying, trying to pull me off of him. Then I saw Tom run and jump in his car with Chief, then speed off down the road. I started walking jerkily toward the gate. Ma was sobbing and crying and yelling after me, 'Tom, come back. Where are you going, Tom? Come back, son!'
"I ran toward the gate, glancing back a couple of times at ma. She was standing over pa's body, screaming at me to come back. I felt like I was dreaming or dying or living in hell. I kept on running, out the gate, up the dirt road, running and running. After a while, I didn't look back anymore."
We sense the moment of truth, feel the critical snap of Billy's sanity in the crack of his father's rifle. We see Billy suspended, spread-eagled and paralyzed, in a reality of madness as he watches Filly flinch from the bullet and crumple to the dust in the barnyard. We can empathize with Billy when we begin to understand and see the buildup of tension over many years which culminates, almost prophetically, in bloody violence. And we hear with understanding when Billy points us in the direction of his rapidly disintegrating psyche with the simple yet profound words: "I didn't look back anymore."
With that simple phrase, Billy makes the final curve, the turning point in his life as a human being in relationship with his environment. We may speak of it as the "breaking point" in Billy's capacity for full, normal understanding of his world, the final crumbling of his twisted and tortured psyche. The problems of his existence-his weak submissive mother; his icy pious father; and, of course, his extreme lack of contact with healthy human beings-were some of the primary, dynamic forces which governed Billy's developing psychosis. These were the forces which logically culminated in tragedy when Billy, after watching his father cruelly and insanely kill his beloved Filly, all but murders his father in a blind rage, and runs from the farm.
Billy ran from the reality of the situation as he understood it, a situation of lonely despair and meaningless slaughter. Symbolically, Billy ran from reality in order to save himself from madness and hell.
Soon alter "escaping" from the farm, Billy stumbled upon a circus troupe, and was taken in by Karen, an attractive young woman of twenty who performed with her two dogs under the big top. Karen and Billy were drawn together into a night of bestiality with her dogs, during which Billy had disturbing images and dreams, heralding the complete breakup of his mind. Soon after, Billy was picked up and arrested for assault with a deadly weapon.
Because he was only sixteen years of age, and because he was pronounced legally insane, he was remanded into the care of a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane. To date, Billy's recovery has been pitifully slow, and he still remains a ward of psychiatry.