Chapter 2
The Anal Sadist
"Have you ever felt as though the world revolved around your cock-or if it didn't, that it should? I can't help it, that's the way I feel. I know that my idea of sex is different from most people's. Sometimes I think there's an animal inside me gnawing and clawing to get out. I keep asking: do I really want to hurt Ann, my wife, or any of the other females I've Had since we got into sex trading? Sitting here like I am now, talking it out, I'd like to be able to say no, no, I never intend to hurt anyone. Yet it happens time after time. I see a woman's ass and I have to have it. And I know, as well as I know my own name, that I'm going to hurt her. I've yet to run into the ass-hole that could take my cock without a great deal of pain.
"What does that make me? Some sort of a monster? I don't think so. Believe me, I'm trying to be honest about this. After living with it for so long, I have finally come to the conclusion that most females want to be hurt, need to be hurt. Sure, some of them are more open about it than others. Some of them will lay it on the line that the best sex of all hurts and the place it hurts most is up their ass. Most of them won't admit it, but I believe this is what they truly want.
"Let me prove my point. How many women rave and go wild over, or secretly wish and dream about, the joys of a huge cock? Damn right, all of them! The evidence is everywhere-the stories you read, the sex movies they're showing nowadays, the sex confessions gals publish. They think about cocks of inhuman proportions. Think about all the phalli that females have worshipped all through history. Hell, some of them were six feet long.
"It's as plain as day that women want the biggest cock that's possible. On the other hand, very few guys can come up to that expectation. This I'm sure of because I've made plenty of comparisons. Not only that, but I read somewhere that the average adult male only had a cock five and a half inches long in erection. Five and a half inches! Christ, no wonder there are so many neurotic females running around. And you have to figure that five and a half inches is an average; there must be millions of poor bastards in this country who can't even show three or four inches. I've heard that a lot of faggots are extremely undersized in the cock department, and I figure that explains a lot.
"Okay, now then, you take me: Just a fraction over ten inches hard, almost two and a half inches in diameter. Now that, dammit, is a cock! I'm not bragging, it's a fact; you can measure it if you want to. There may be bigger ones, but no female I've ever known has seen one. Neither have I, even in stag movies I've seen. So here I am, the one male in millions who actually possesses the kind of equipment that women dream about. And what happens? They scream. That's right. The goddamn bitches. The same ones that wet their sheets at night envisioning a cock like mine start squealing and shaking and making every excuse in the book the minute they lay eyes on my cock.
"This used to bother me. It bothered me a lot until I finally realized that what they say and what they want are two different things. The truth is, they want to be hurt. They want to have a man, a real man, dominate them. Sure I've heard all this women's lib crap. You know the real score? They want someone like me more than they realize. I don't blame them for being frustrated with the run-of-the-mill five and a half inches. I can understand why they have so little use for the average man. But, just like all the others, they'd scream the minute they saw me with a hard-on.
"Just let me get my hands on them once, though, and let me start driving that ten inches into their asses, then you'd hear a different story. They'd change, alright. Most of them do. That's why I get so fantastically mad when I'm compared to a monster for being cruel and brutal. I'm only that way because I know it's what the woman really wants, no matter how loud she screams. After all, I don't beat up on them. I don't whip them. I'm not one of those.
"Why do I concentrate on the anus? You wouldn't ask a stupid question like that if you had .any real understanding of females. I just got through explaining that when a woman dreams about a huge cock, like mine, she secretly desires to be hurt by it, to be completely dominated by it. So I ask you, what better place than right up the ass-hole to make her dreams come true? Naturally I can hurt a cunt with my cock. I do, too, but just as a warm up. You see, when most of these bitches get hot enough, they can take ten inches and start whistling Dixie. Or, as another song goes, 'It only hurts for a little while.' Then you're right back where you started-they're using you.
"You can't let that happen, can't listen to them at that point, no matter how wild they say you are, no matter how great they think your cock is. They're just postponing their own ultimate fulfillment. I'm not saying that they're doing it consciously, but they're doing it nonetheless. But friend, let me go on record as saying that that doesn't happen when you roll them over on their bellies. Which even goes for the ones who know they want their ass fucked and come right out and ask for it.
"This brings me to the sex trading that's become part of my life. Mind you, I'm not a member of any organized group or any bunch of neighbors who go around swapping wives. In the first place, that isn't my style. In the second place, I doubt if very many husbands would want me around once they saw the size of my cock in comparison to their own. Talk about jealousy, they'd never let me next to their wives even if the wives were willing to take a chance. I had a brief experience like that just once, and it told me all I wanted to know about those kind of groups.
"This was six, almost seven years ago-before I met my own wife. I'll admit to really not understanding women back in those days-especially the rejections I was getting from them. I would take out a good-looking bitch, a sure fuck, and time after time I'd run into the same scene. The girl would see my cock and start screaming. All of a sudden it was their period or an aunt was due in from Portland in an hour or they'd had a hysterectomy the day before yesterday. And me, well, I was mister nice-guy. I either let them off the hook or, if I was too horny, I'd fall all over them to get them to try it. I'd eat cunt until my tongue was raw to get them so hot that they couldn't help themselves. What the hell kind of satisfaction is there in sex like that? But I don't blame them. I was too dumb to realize what they really wanted-that pain was part of the female fantasy.
"Anyway, as I started to say, it was about that time I ran into Ruth. Ruth was about ten or twelve years older than I, but she looked young, if you know what I mean. She was divorced and she had the reputation of being a swinger. We worked for the same real estate company; I was just getting started in the business and she'd been a successful agent for a long time. Under the guise of being the old pro, she liked to get hold of the younger guys in the office. I had some initial doubt about going out with her-I had a big thing for young girls-but since my sex life wasn't going too smoothly with the young stuff, I decided that Ruth was at least a change. After all, you hear all those stories about horny divorcees.
"One thing I'll say for Ruth, she didn't beat around the bush. We were at her place to supposedly have a couple of drinks and talk business,' but we were only halfway through the first drink when we were all over each other on the couch, going at it with our mouths and tongues, starting to feel each other up. Then she gasped aloud. She pulled her mouth away from me and stared wide-eyed. You see, she had just put her hand on my crotch. I thought: oh shit, here we go again, now the excuses start.
"But for once, thank God, I was wrong. When she was over her initial surprise, she flashed me the biggest, lewdest grin I'd ever seen. Her hands were at my zipper, and when she pulled my cock out inch by inch, she was purring like a big pussy cat. She was murmuring how beautiful it was, how she wanted all of it, everywhere. She went down on me at once, licking and kissing the entire fat length. She started with her tongue on my balls and went all the way up to nibble at the head, taking tiny love bites along the sides. She was able to stroke me with both hands while she sucked on the knob. Naturally, she couldn't get very much in her mouth, but she did a helluva job on the part she managed to swallow.
"It was a particular thrill to me to have a woman finally react like that. I think what I remember most about those first minutes with Ruth was the way she would open her eyes and look up into mine. Her eyes were practically dancing with excitement. There was no fear in them, no trepidation. Of course, I'll have to admit now that Ruth was quite a bit different than most of the females in my life. I shortly found out how different.
"She broke off the cocksucking before I came. We rushed into the bedroom, throwing our clothes off on the way. It wasn't until I was on the bed that I noticed what a damn beautiful body she had. She was a big girl, five nine at least and not an ounce of fat. Her tits were enormous, perfect cones that sagged only slightly under their own weight. I couldn't cover them with my hands as she crawled onto the bed above me. I made an attempt to bring the dark, excited nipples down to my mouth, but she told me bluntly that she didn't need or want any of that. The cock was the thing.
"She knelt straight up, straddling my thighs, running one hand lightly and teasingly up and down the tight skin of my hard-on, while with her other hand, she fingered her cunt. Almost immediately, I could hear the smacking of her juices as she worked her fingers furiously. Next, she arched her back so I could get a good look at what she was doing. I think my cock was harder then than it had ever been before. Maybe it was from watching her rub her clit and seeing the lips of her cunt open wider and wider, or maybe it was the realization that I was finally going to get fucked by a woman who really wanted it and who was going wild with anticipation.
"She raised herself and moved forward, then gripped my cock tightly and held it straight up. With a thumb and forefinger, she stretched open the lips of her cunt and I had a fantastic view as I watched her slowly lower herself onto my thick meat. I could feel the fingers where she held her flesh, then I could feel the hot flesh of her cunt itself. My entire cock-head disappeared into a furry hole, forcing her to grunt, wiggle and shove downward.
"Christ, was she tight! Tight and beautiful. She moaned, restraining herself from plunging straight down too soon. I was amazed at her control since she was so hot that her juices were dribbling out of her cunt and running down my cock. More amazing, though, was to watch her envelop me by the inch. It was as if I were through her womb and up into her belly. I was vaguely aware that she was hurting, that there was a tremendous strain on her cunt, because her forehead had broken out in beads of perspiration and her lips were twisted. But not for a single second did she quit fucking, squirming, and rutting.
"The noises that came out of Ruth's throat were almost inhuman-for they were sounds of lusty greed. The animalism of her, the sweet-sour perfumed scent of heated sex, the fierce clenching on my cock, all of it was what I had dreamed about. My balls exploded. She screamed aloud when the hot sperm blasted her innards, her depths. She shook violently in orgasm, then crumpled.
"At that moment, Ruth was the greatest fuck that I had ever had in my life. Here was a woman who accepted the size of my cock as something other than an object of horror. It's times like that when a young guy falls in love-forgetting about the age difference involved. I felt giddy, I wanted to tell her all sorts of crazy, romantic, silly, sexy things. I guess I did, too, but she wasn't really listening. She was concentrating on getting my cock erect again. And that's when she told me she wanted it up the ass!
"I couldn't believe what I heard. She had to be out of her head. That first fuck had twisted her brain. My cock up anyone's ass? It was incredible-and impossible. Sure, I had heard all about ass-fucking. I'd read about it and seen pictures of it; I knew that faggots did it. It was just simply beyond my comprehension, however, that any girl who had seen me would consider it. Yet, after all the trouble I'd had in my young life just getting into a few cunts, here was a woman suggesting-no, urging-a sex act I had never imagined as a possibility. You know, I actually tried to talk her out of it. Why ruin a beautiful thing, I figured. But she was insistent, so much so that I had no choice but to go along with her.
"When I was hard again, she brought a tube of lubricating jelly and greased up my cock and her anus. By the time I felt her hands smearing the lubricant, I had become really excited at the prospect. Okay, if she wanted it that bad, I thought, she'll get it in spades. I was already feeling less romantic toward Ruth and more caught up with the sensualism of her weird desire.
"She positioned herself on her knees and elbows toward the head of the bed. Her ass was like two smooth, pale domes jutting up in front of me. The dark pink anus, just slightly fringed with fine hairs, was puckered and shiny from the jelly. It looked so damn small compared to the head of my cock that when I pushed my slippery knob between the cheeks of her ass, I half expected her to change her mind and call it off. Christ, couldn't she feel the disparity? I guess she could, but you wouldn't have known it to listen to her. She asked me what I was waiting for; she called me a dumb kid with a big cock who didn't know what to do with it.
"That pulled the trigger. I worked into the greased crevice and butted her hips and bored forward with steady, even pressure. As rigid as it was, my whole cock was bending like a bow. I could feel the crinkled flesh giving way before it. I don't know what I had expected, but the sensation was fantastic. Not just the physical sensation of the ever-widening tight hole, either. There was a feeling of absolute power involved that was unlike the satisfaction I had felt earlier while fucking. I could look down and see that ring stretching incredibly.
I clenched my teeth and thought: don't slip out, go slowly, slowly, and it will go in. The only sound I could hear was her grunting, labored breathing. Then she began to break wind. As if it were a signal, the head of my cock suddenly passed the tightest part of her ring and squirted forward. The impossible had happened. I was in her ass. Not by much, true enough, but the penetration was irrevocable. Of course, I wasn't the only one who realized it. She grunted hoarsely, 'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!'
"It could have been one minute or ten, I'm not sure. But I had reamed in steadily enough to begin to pump. That's when I first got the full sensation of the undulations of her ass-hole. It set my balls on fire. She was yelling at me by then, urging me to go faster and deeper. Faster was easy but deeper was a problem. Yet, somehow it was happening. I was into her ass-hole better than halfway up my cock. Every time I shoved forward, she moaned. Every time I pulled back, she squealed. Sweat was pouring off me as I heaved and pulled. I thought I was going to turn her inside out on every backstroke.
"Never, never had anything felt that hot and wild. And far from discouraging me, her moans and groans only triggered me into a fever of frantic ass-fucking. On Ruth's part, it was total anal abandon. For me, it was barely controlled savagery. When her orgasm hit, it felt as though she was having convulsions. When I came up her rectum, I thought half my guts erupted in the process.
"So that was my inauguration and that was Ruth. She taught me a lot about real estate-the intimate territories. She was an anal erotic of the first order. And, understandably, I spent more time in her ass than anywhere else. It was from her that I learned a lot about a woman's desire for pain. She used to talk a lot about the exquisite pleasure of being hurt. In other words, what made Ruth so different was her willingness to admit her sexual cravings. I mean, she just didn't like to be hurt or used in general; hers was a specific need. I'll be forever grateful for what she taught me.
"It was Ruth who first introduced me to group sex, also. She was a swinger, as I told you. One man wasn't enough for her, even someone with a cock as big as mine. Frankly, I was jealous when she first told me that as great as I was, she couldn't consider having an exclusive affair. She promised, however, to take me to an orgy. Right away my jealousy dissipated. If the other gals involved were anything like Ruth, I had it made. I mean, just stop and think about the kind of women who would participate in orgies. They had to have strong sexual appetites, a lack of inhibitions, no phony hang-ups-right? Wrong.
"It turned out be one of those sex groups I mentioned earlier, a neighborhood kind of wife swapping club. The rules weren't so rigid, though, that they didn't include a few single gals, divorcees like Ruth. It was understood that occasionally she'd bring along an unattached friend. For the next occasion, I was the friend. Christ, it was a disaster!
"The other four couples were married. Not that I gave a damn about that, but it went a long way to prove something later. At first I thought everything was going to be great. When we stripped out of our clothes, there were plenty of oohs and aahs over the size of my cock. The wives were acting like they'd never seen one before, and the husbands were laughing and joking with me. I thought it was in good humor, but it turned out to be a cover. Somehow I was a threat to them, to their so-called masculinity. The wives weren't much better. For all their comments about my cock, only a couple of them wanted to take it on, and then reluctantly.
"As it turned out, I spent most of the night getting sucked off. Two lousy, strained fucks were all I could squeeze in. Ruth finally had to come to the rescue by staging a little exhibition in which I gave it to her up the ass. The group seemed to get a charge out of it, but every one of the wives hooted and swore that they'd never try anything like that with me. I thought to myself then: Why the goody-goody bitches! Here they are fucking and sucking men in front of their own husbands, even eating cunt practically in public, and they have the gall to put me down.
"It was about then I began to realize that cunts like that had to be shown what a real cock was like. There wasn't much I could do about it then, though. I told Ruth to forget about anymore orgies. We continued to see each other off and on for a few months until I left the real estate firm and set up an office of my own. It was about that time I met Ann. Then Ruth just faded from my life.
"Ann was as different from Ruth as night from day. She was very blonde and pretty rather than exotic. She had a perfect figure, the hourglass kind, but she was only five three. She was also a virgin. Or maybe I should say, she was the damndest virgin I'd ever met.
"She came to me to sell a house that had been left to her by her family. Since she was attractive and unattached, I gave her a little pitch as a client and took her out. Clearing the title to her property took some time, and we saw each other regularly. Sexually, too. That's where the virgin thing comes into it. We got cozy on the second date and, because she was my age and seemed mature enough, I came right out and told her I'd like to fuck her. Just as straight, she told me no, it would be impossible. She was a virgin, she said, and she intended to remain that way until she was married. I was ready to call the whole thing off right there, and that's when she twisted me up. She said she didn't have anything against sex, just fucking. There were a lot of ways we could have fun together and please each other and relieve our tensions-couldn't I settle for that? I didn't know if I could or not, but I decided to give it a try.
"Well, to be brief, we did everything conceivable to one another with our hands and mouths. I would suck her tits and lick her cunt for hours, and she would feast on my cock for equal amounts of time. I tickled her ass-hole with my tongue, and she would do the same for me. She would blow me to ejaculation and swallow it, or jerk me off-whatever my pleasure. In turn, I would work on her clitoris until she reached orgasm. But the line was drawn at penetration; she would only allow my finger a little way up her cunt, no farther, really, than I could reach with my tongue. The same limit applied to her ass.
"Now, if I had been seventeen or eighteen years old at the time, it wouldn't have been so weird and not nearly as frustrating. Yet I tolerated it. Not only that, I enjoyed considerably more pleasure than frustration. The reason was this: never once, from the first moment she saw me naked, did Ann ever mention the size of my cock. She didn't get that 'Oh my God!' expression of impending disaster in her eyes, nor did she gnaw at her lips or turn pale. She didn't shout for joy or do handstands either.
"But the absence of a negative reaction was more meaningful to me than gleeful acclaim. I thought, here's a girl who isn't intimidated. Here's a girl who's a realist, a girl who knows what she's got, isn't scared of it, and her reasons for refusing to accept it are legitimate enough:-a desire to retain her virginity. It was something to feel good about. You can understand my state of mind at that moment. Perhaps, too, you can see how susceptible I was to a relationship that involved far more than just sex.
"In a nutshell, I asked her to marry me. She said yes immediately. She put her virginity on the line with the full knowledge-every inch of it-of what she was getting into, or what would be getting into her. I had no doubt that with patience and understanding, on both our parts, we could make the proper physical adjustment. I had no thought at the time, or at least it wasn't a conscious thought, of using her ass as a sexual receptacle. The thing with Ruth had been wild, but it was over. My earlier thoughts about bitchy females and their need for pain and subjugation were far in the back of my mind. Ann was different. So much for my fantasy.
"The night of our wedding, I suggested that it might be easier for her if I used a lubricant. I'll never forget that moment. She threw her head back and gave a sort of snorting laugh and said: 'You have to be kidding, darling! You're not going to put that monstrous thing in me. I thought you understood that. And why would you want to? We've had a perfectly beautiful relationship. Be an angel and don't spoil it all now.'
"I was dumbfounded. Either she or I was insane. I asked her what in hell she was talking about, and she gave me more of the same stupid illogic. I didn't lose control by going berserk; the rage was all inside of me-a cool, calculating rage. After all I had believed in her! Well, no wife of mine was going to refuse me my rights. She'd fuck-oh, would she fuck! And I made up my mind on the spot that it wouldn't be just her cunt that got it.
"Yeah, she screamed. She screamed until I gagged her. You see, we were in a hotel and I didn't want any interruptions. Prior to that I had ripped off her negligee. And I had a hard-on, a huge angry hard-on just from the emotion of knowing what I was going to do. I suppose you could call it rape. But it was legal rape. She was my wife, and she had just flatly refused to fuck. No, it was more than that: she had told me that she was never going to fuck, that she intended for our married life to be just one continuous round of adolescent sex play.
"When I lifted her onto the bed, she was trembling with fright, trying to squeeze her thighs together to protect her naked cunt. Suddenly, she was just the same as all the other bitches I'd ever met. All the old thoughts about how to handle them flooded my mind. My God, busting her cherry was too good for her! I'd let her keep her precious virginity. Her ass-hole was the target.
"I grabbed her ankles and flipped her over on her belly. Then I pulled on her until she was half off the bed, her ass sticking up at the edge. Because I wanted to drive into her as deep as possible and not hurt myself in the process, I coated my cock with the vaseline I had intended to use on her cunt. I leaned on her and pinned the upper part of her body to the bed. She had no idea at which hole I was going to vent my anger. But, of course, she could hardly protest. All she could do, was pound her head on the mattress and gnaw at the torn piece of negligee that was her gag. I maneuvered the thick hardness of my cock to the lower part of her cunt. I rubbed the head there firmly to confuse her. Then I came up those scant two inches that make so much difference. I shoved! Hard!
"I caught her completely by surprise. The bitch hadn't even had time to stiffen or clench her sphincter. The head of my cock plundered in before she realized where the ripping pain was located. Christ, how she squirmed and tried to reach back to claw me. It was futile, of course. Once inside her, I held her hips in a vise and jabbed brutally. Then I pumped with every ounce of my weight.
"Even to this day, I get excited thinking about it. It was the first time I sexually tormented someone deliberately-and I had no feeling at all except for the power of pleasure. With each inch that I gouged into that tight hole, I felt better and better. Even if she hadn't been gagged, if we had been in a private place, neither screams nor supplications could have made me stop. I was possessed with making her feel as cruelly used as possible. The physical signs of her agony didn't dissuade me, either. I could see the traces of blood on my cock when I pulled it out to mount another savage stroke. Good, I thought, beautiful-the bitch is only getting what she deserves. It didn't matter to me what vein I tapped for her virgin's blood.
"Something else that amazed me during this initial assault on Ann's ass was my odd ability to fuck for tremendous lengths of time without coming. It was as if a new dimension had been added to my virility. It gave me the opportunity to toy with her and add to her torment. I could change the rhythm of my stroking so as not to allow her to relieve the pain by anticipating my moves. I could sway from side to side and grind the hard flesh of my cock on the torn tissues of her ass-hole and I could tease her cunt. This is where I got my second shock of the night.
"The way I had her bent at the waist, and her crotch spread, caused her usually tight cunt to gape open. I snaked a finger harshly up the flesh of that hole, farther than she had ever allowed during our sex play of the past. And what do you think I found up there in the cunt of my virgin bride! That's right, nothing. No virginal membrane, hymen, cherry, whatever you want to call it. Nothing but smooth, moist cunt. The bitch had even lied about that!
"I pulled my cock viciously out of her ass-hole and slammed it into her cunt. All sorts of crazy, ugly thoughts were spinning around in my brain. She was a whore! Worse than any of the others, her deception had been just as cruel as my treatment of her at that moment-and how could I ever have been so stupid to believe her? Oh, I fucked her like I'd never fucked anyone in my life. I didn't care if I fucked her to death. She was going to pay, and pay, and pay for having made such a fool of me. And, the worst thought of all, the bitch had even gotten me to marry her!
"When I finally did come after what seemed like hours, I just left her lying there torn fore and aft, whimpering and sobbing through her gag. In the bathroom I looked at my watch; it wasn't even midnight. Well, I thought, here goes one of the shortest marriages on record. I didn't give a damn. She taught me a lesson, and I taught her a different one in return. The satisfaction I felt was of having stretched those tight virgin holes beyond the point where the next man would be fooled. I took a shower to wash off the stains of blood and shit on my cock and, afterwards, massaged it with cold cream to relieve the scraping it had taken. While I was in the bathroom, I had expected her to remove the gag, throw on some clothes, and escape me, her monster husband. I wasn't worried about her screaming rape. She wouldn't have enough guts to tell anyone what happened. Yet, neither did I expect her to still be there, in bed, waiting for me when I entered the bedroom.
"What I found was that she had dried her tears and her eyes were shining. The expression on her face was one of discovery. She didn't say anything when I approached the bed. She pulled back the covers and let me in next to her. Then she bent down, kissed my cock, and rolled over and went to sleep. That told me all I needed to know about how to treat her or any other female."
Adam M., the thirty-one year old subject of this case history, is far more than just an example of an anally orientated, sadistically inclined personality. He is a repository for about as much sexual misinformation, illogical pseudo-psychology and erroneous fact about women as can be hoarded in one individual. And, of course, he is dangerously disturbed.
The abnormally large penis of Adam has been a lifelong source of emotional and psychic conflict to him. The erstwhile pioneer sexologist, Krafft-Ebing, was one of the first to notice a correlation between abnormally sized genitals and sexual aberration. Yet the few cases Krafft-Ebing relates concern undersized penises, not those of exceptional dimension. A plethora of sex authorities from then until the present day have touched upon the psycho-sexual problems of the undersized male. It is the root cause of an often devastating inferiority complex. The male with the smaller than normal penis (Adam was nominally correct when he fixed the average penile size at five and a half inches at erection, although some doctors vary this measurement slightly) is often convinced at an early age that he can never properly perform the male function. This, often in spite of other sexually attractive attributes such as good looks, a handsome physique, or a potentially winning personality. Moreover, many men who are adequately endowed by any standard often suffer from a feeling of penile inadequacy. It is, in brief, a fear common to a large number of men.
On the other hand, there is very little psychological information extant about the problems of males with extremely large phalluses. Most of the writing on that subject comes to us by way of marriage manuals which, in addressing themselves to wives and brides-to-be, attempt to ease the apprehensions of the female, concluding that to the inexperienced woman any penis may at first seem abnormally large. There is a great deal of information wrapped up in sex manuals that is concerned with making physical adjustment through specific coital positions. Again, these seem primarily for the woman's benefit. Little if any of this data appears to answer the questions of men like Adam.
It is ironic that much of the same propaganda that causes penile inferiority complexes in males also contributed to our subject's problem. The reader is referred to his comment about the books he had read and the stag movies he had seen. The subject observed a preponderance of over-sized genitalia and drew the conclusion that it was both normal and desirable. Realistically, that is a false conclusion. Doctors Phyllis and Eberhard Kronhausen, in Pornography and The Law, listed as one of the major criteria of pornography, the "super-sexed male." Other writers examining written and visual erotica have also contended that exaggerated physical attributes, male and female, are an essential and consistent common denominator in such works. The vast majority of the readers of erotica are well aware that such exaggerations have no basis in reality.
Adam, our subject, apparently had no such awareness. He, uniquely, matched the outrageous descriptions of the super-sexed males. As less endowed men irrationally envy the fictional heroes of erotica and suffer by comparison, Adam only reinforced his misconceptions. He clutched upon the fact that the nymphomaniac heroines of titillating literature and film were enamored by and driven to dizzying heights of passion by gigantic phalluses. Then, as if to reinforce his fantasy, he actually did meet and have an affair with a woman (Ruth) who was the embodiment of the fictional nymph. One is always hesitant to state how much emotional and sensual lives are affected by a single coincidence, but it is quite probable that Adam's sensual logic received an unfortunate arrest in meeting Ruth. His initial contact with anal intercourse occurred in the midst of a more general confusion about the sexual appetites and desires of most females.
The subject's sexual conflict, however, began with adolescence. It is in this period that most young men display a great deal of concern over their penises. It is the time of youthful masturbatory experimentation, when there is anxiety over penile dimensions. There are the surreptitious comparisons with other males, peer group and adult. Adolescent sex talk is mainly hearsay, wishful fantasy entwined around a core of fact. Although valid sex education is currently a much discussed, and highly controversial social goal, its implementation is by no means widespread. During Adam's formative years, it was nonexistent. He and other young friends were victims of the prevailing sexual myths. At this point in his life, though, before he had actually experimented with girls, Adam was the subject of envy among his peers. While others worried about their potential penile growth, there was no doubt that Adam had already arrived as a sex symbol. It bolstered his ego; it strengthened his confidence in himself. He was not an unattractive young man; he found it easy to date. While many of his friends went through painful periods of shyness and anxiety, Adam was acknowledged to be a gregarious, popular, and successful lover. He was all those things except a lover in the physical and sexual sense. The girls whom he dated, with whom he petted and necked, did not allow him the ultimate liberties. And at this time in his life, it had nothing to do with the size of his penis. The girls were quite young (fourteen and fifteen), and were acting in deference to the social and sexual mores of a small town environment. Adam was an extremely frustrated young man. He took to lying about his sexual prowess and invented fanciful conquests of the fair sex. It reinforced his status in his peer group, but it played miserable with his conscience. To his friends he would brag, "and, fuck, when she saw the piece of meat I had for her, she couldn't stop squealing until I had it all the way in her." To himself, his mind reeled with the question, Why doesn't it happen that way?
There is an incident in Adam's youth that is extremely illustrative of his earliest frustrations. When he was sixteen, he was no longer a virgin. His initial experience was not with a schoolmate but with a prostitute in a nearby city. It cost him ten dollars, and he considered it a good investment. Though he had merely performed coitus during a "short time" encounter, he embellished the story lewdly to the thrill of his friends. In turn, they honored him as a man among boys. Still, the subject's private confusion grew. One night, he followed a young girl not known to him to her home. He waited until she had just entered, then he went up the porch steps and knocked on the screen door. When she returned to answer, he undid his trousers and displayed his erect penis. The girl screamed and ran horrified into the house to summon her family. Adam slipped away and remained unidentified. There was talk of a "sex maniac" loose in the area. Adam does not know what compelled him to this act of exhibitionism, and it only occurred once. He was terrified of being caught and labeled as a pervert.
In the subject's own scheme of sexuality, things never worked out quite the way he imagined or in ways that he let others imagine. It was at this time that he began blaming all of his sexual frustrations on the size of his penis. As soon as he reached the legal age to enlist in the Army with his parents' permission, he dropped out of school and joined. During the period of his enlistment, he did not try to date girls his own age, nor were there many opportunities to do so. He consistently utilized prostitutes for his sexual needs. Upon discharge, he relocated to a large city and embarked on a career in real estate. His narrative gives further examples of the frustrations he felt over a four year span prior to meeting Ruth, the older, less inhibited woman.
His absurd and disturbing philosophy that females intrinsically desire pain and domination is a pathetic rationalization. In essence, he is getting even with all females for their lack of passionate attraction to him. This is the springboard for his sadism. His sadism, in turn, feeds upon his pathological need to see himself as the super-virile, super-sexed male.
Concerning Adam's later marriage and involvement with sex-swapping, we shall put down his own words:
"You can call what I do wife-swapping if you want to, but don't confuse it with the variety people call 'swinging.' That's just another name for getting some different fucking with your wife's permission. The bag I'm into is a little more selective. There are underground publications, you know, all over the country that carry advertisements for any manner of sexual pleasure. It's true that the majority of ads are placed by swingers who can't find a compatible group or other couple in their own town and neighborhoods. But many other ads are more explicit as to particular sexual activities. A couple of publications I subscribe to cater only to the offbeat. I can better explain to you by showing you the ad I run:
Dominant Male and Submissive Wife. Exponents of Greek discipline. Attractive and discreet. She 36-24-36, he very largely endowed, seek similarly inclined active couples for mutual enlightenment....
"To anybody who knows what the score is, that bit about Greek discipline tells the whole story. Greek is the underground sex term for anal intercourse. Any guy reading my ad will know that I use my wife's ass harshly and would like to use his wife in the same way. If he's like me. he knows he gets the same honors. I'll admit that this kind of ad narrows the field considerably. Most of the time when you use the words dominant and submissive, you're put in the category of all the sadomasochists, the ones with all the leather, the whips, and the handcuffs. But that's not for me. The only whip I need is right between my legs. Still, you'd be surprised how many couples there are like us. I get replies from all over the country. And naturally, any ad I see that fits my scene, I write to. Most of the time because of distance and travel, I can't get together with those I contact. But between the couples who live locally and those that come to this area on vacations, I don't go without ass-punishing sessions for very long periods.
"The one a couple of weeks ago was typical, maybe even more enjoyable than most. Their names were Harold and Nancy, and I'd previously exchanged a couple of letters with them. They were from out-of-state, but he arranged to bring his wife with him on a business trip here. In his last letter, he had sent along a snapshot that frankly turned me on. It showed the wife naked, bent over on her knees, with her hands tied behind her back. It was a rear view, but a little off to one side. That was so you could see that the wife was sucking off Harold, who was kneeling in front of her. The close-up of the ass, though, was the exciting part. Jammed up Nancy's ass-hole was one of those battery operated vibrators, the bullet-shaped kind that are about seven inches long. It wasn't just in at the tip; it was shoved in so far that only an inch of it showed popping out between the cheeks of her ass. When I saw that, I knew I was in touch with a couple of kindred souls. Personally, I don't send out pictures. It's a precaution on my part. If my letters don't entice anyone, to hell with it. Anyway, Harold and Nancy arrived in town and came out to the house that night.
"I suppose I should explain my relationship with Ann at this time. When I classify her as submissive, I mean just that. She knows her place, her role, and I suppose you could say she's used to it. Certainly, she doesn't protest. Oh, when I'm treating her particularly harshly or when someone else is, she cries and whimpers and squeals, that sort of crap. But she's always ready for more. Although she doesn't beg to be hurt and doesn't provoke punishment like a died-in-the-wool masochist, I can see her getting nervous when she isn't taken care of. Even when I'm not feeling especially lusty, I often surprise her somewhere in the house at odd times and rip a quick hard one into her ass just to show her I still care for her.
"As for Ann accepting the same treatment from relative strangers, she says she detests it, that it's horrible, and that she never thinks she can stand it the next time. That's what she says. I happen to know she gets an extra thrill out of it. Take, for instance, that picture Harold sent. I watched her looking at it, and I knew damn well all she could see in the photo was herself with that electric dildo stuck in her ass.
"Which, by the way, gave me a great idea. I had never before thought about having one of those vibrators around, but it seemed the perfect time. An hour before Harold and Nancy were due at the house, I ordered Ann to bend over and lift her skirt. I won't allow her to wear panties, you know. She had on a garter belt and nylons. She argued that it wasn't fair to our guests to start so early. She wasn't aware of the surprise I had in store for her.
"When Ann bared her round ass for me, I goosed her anus a couple of times, causing her to gasp, then I pushed the vibrator in. The cold, smooth plastic did something to her at once, She didn't know immediately exactly what it was. When I got it in right up to the hilt, I turned it on. She knew; the picture of Nancy came back to her immediately. She didn't gasp or cry out, she just sighed.
"When our guests arrived, Ann was sitting on the couch, the vibrating dildo still in her ass. Without explaining why, I apologized for the fact she couldn't get up. I mixed us all a drink, surveying my prospective sex object. Harold was the forthright type, which I like. He settled on the couch next to Ann, patted her leg, and proceeded to tell me that Nancy was to be considered my property for the evening. I could do anything I wanted with her, short of beating her. Restraining her was acceptable, sometimes necessary; so was spanking. If she gave me any trouble, I was to tell Harold immediately. I don't know exactly what threat he held over her, but I could feel her twitch at my side when he mentioned it. Then it was my turn to offer my wife to him.
"There's a kind of etiquette that those of us with experience follow in such situations. Un-like swingers, we are dealing with the surety of masculine strength. The wives say hello to each other, but there's no social chit-chat crap. The men usually start talking sex in short order; partially to let the wives know exactly where they stand and what's expected of them, and also to inform the other husband what limitations to adhere to and, perhaps, what oddball behavior to expect.
"I told Harold: 'I thought you might have noticed that the couch is shaking a bit. When I take Nancy into the bedroom, feel free to bend Ann over and see how I turned her on for you.' He put his hand on the cushion near her ass, then grinned. He complimented me on a thoughtful gesture. Ann was being particularly demure, the bitch; all she could do was lower her eyes shyly like a schoolgirl. When I guided Nancy down the hallway toward the bedroom, I looked over my shoulder to see that Harold had stood up and unzipped his pants. He pulled out a semi-rigid cock-nowhere the size of mine, of course-and was guiding it toward her mouth. I could see that he was a thoughtful gentleman, too. He was going to leave the vibrator in her ass for awhile and indulge himself.
"In the bedroom, I told Nancy to strip. She did as told without my having to raise my voice or threaten her. She was nervous and blushing, but she wasn't hesitant. I think that in her own odd way she was confident of herself. She understood that she wouldn't be there, displaying her somewhat thin but well-proportioned naked body to a virtual stranger, unless she had wanted it so. She thought she had an idea of what to expect from me, and she was probably sure that she could handle it and enjoy it. And that is the part, the moment, that I love about these confrontations. Maybe it's another reason why I don't send pictures of myself to prospective contacts. Her confidence was entirely misplaced. She hadn't seen my cock.
"I undressed, making it a point to leave my pants until last. She was watching my crotch closely as I undid my fly. Then I quickly dropped my pants and stepped out of them. The expression on her face caused my cock to jerk into immediate erection. She stared wide-eyed and unbelieving. Her hand flew involuntarily up to her mouth to stifle a cry. Still in awe, she shook her head slowly to protest anything I might intend with my huge hard meat.
"But I was used to that kind of reaction. She didn't slow me down for a second. I stepped up to her and grabbed a tit harshly with one hand. With the other, I grabbed a handful of her dark blonde hair. I hurt her just enough so she'd know I meant business. Then I ordered her and forced her down to her knees. I demanded that she suck and lick my cock at my direction. I told her that it was to her benefit that she get it very slippery and slick. Shortly it would be going up her ass-and I wasn't going to use vaseline. When I said that, I could feel her lips, already gulping at my cockhead, tremble at the prospect. I had a feeling that Harold was right, that this was one of those times that I would have to tie a bitch up.
"In the meantime, she was blowing me as per instructions and doing an excellent job. I'm sure she realized that she was going to get her ass-hole stretched immensely despite any protest she might make. She purposely laid down a good layer of saliva along the length of my cock. That accomplished, I ordered her to the bed. I used one of my wife's stockings to tie her hands behind her back. She was a lovely sight, the picture of helplessness. I recalled what Harold had said about a spanking, and I gave her a dozen sharp smacks on each of her cheeks. The pale skin reddened fiercely, but I have no patience for that kind of teasing. I took her to the point where the moaning began, then I got behind her in a position to really give her something to scream about.
"It was obvious that her ass-hole had been used considerably. I jabbed one, then two fat fingers into her wrinkled rectum and twisted them from side to side. Her sphincter fought me, but it was too loose to be effective. I remember thinking, as I replaced my fingers with the head of my cock, that it would be a bit of a challenge. Any ideas I had about restraining myself seemed to evaporate. I yelled at her to shove back. When she did, I rammed forward!
"Now there, friend, was a scream like you've never heard before! My cock smashed up that back alley like it was going to rip a hole right through her belly. Beautiful! I don't think she knew what the hell had happened to her for a couple of moments. She choked on her scream and went all wobbly. Next she was trying to crawl out from under me, yelling, 'No, no, no!' You had better believe that she didn't keep that up for long. Every time she said no, I gave her a fast, hard, deep stroke.
"In a few minutes, I had her saying, 'Yes, yes, yes!' I knew it was hurting her, but there she was begging for more. Her ass-hole was a greedy whore all by itself. She wanted more, and I was the boy who could give it to her. I fucked her so far up the ass that my balls were rapping at her cunt. To tell you the truth, that's about as deep as I'd ever gotten into an ass. And she dug every long, hard inch of it. It seemed like she didn't stop having orgasms. She was a gusher, too. Along with my balls and our thighs, the bedspread under her was soaking.
"As for my own climax, there was no sense in giving her exactly what she wanted. It never hurts to reinforce your absolute power over them. When my balls tightened and I felt the load surging to get out, I tore my cock out of her anus. I threw her over on her back, grabbed her hair, and pulled her head down. The instant her lips clamped around my slimy, bursting erection, I shot a fantastic load of molten come into her mouth and throat. There was so much it was oozing out the corners of her mouth. Naturally, she was obliged to clean up every last drop."
The element of sadism which plays such a compelling role in the bizarre sex life of Adam M. is quite excessive in comparison to most anal erotic males. Fortunately, he has found his own niche on the outer reaches of sex swapping in which he can indulge his perverted pleasure. He is not alone. As he himself stated, there are many others who share or complement similar aberrations. There is every possibility that Adam will progress to more classical sadistic behavior. Presently he eschews the symbolic, fetishistic, and ritualistic trappings of sadomasochism. Yet the overwhelming evidence leads unswervingly to the conclusion that he will be influenced in that direction over a period of time. In his own recounting of his recent tryst, he most readily, almost without thought, used a mechanical device to produce discomfort; incorporated spanking as a chastisement; and utilized an instrument of restraint and bondage. There is no doubt, given the man's background, that his sadism will remain centered on analism. But even murkier waters lie ahead.
There is a valuable lesson in this case history for the so-called swingers and mate-traders of more popular and less disturbed persuasion. Many males who favor anal intercourse may be working out sadistic impulses that lie just above the surface of their sexual psyche. The
"friendly" sex-swapping group that tolerates an excess of analism may find itself gradually and unwittingly being swayed toward collective sadomasochism. To be sure, it would be mild at first. But the sexual trigger is ever-present. If the current indicators are correct, this is a growing nationwide phenomenon in sex-swapping today. Certain sexually liberated individuals may scoff and contend that anal eroticism has just as valid a place in group sex as any other act. They may be right-but they should be vigilant to the inherent dangers of awakening and encouraging latent sadism in males far less disturbed than the subject of this case history.