Chapter 1
She saw she was going to have trouble with Herb the minute they got in his car. There was a look in his eyes that she'd seen only once before in a man's face; it had nothing to do with love, it was an expression of sheer lust. It had frightened her then and it frightened her now. Torrents of rain made gray walls of the windows, seeming to press her in against him.
"Round and round I go, down and down you go-"
"What, Herb?"
"Nothing." He turned, looking at her, that upsetting fire in his eyes. They didn't focus well. She'd suspected he'd been secretly drinking these past four hours, and now she knew it. "Just singing, Carol, that's all."
She tried to get the conversation on a safe plane. "You've a reason to sing all right, Herb. And a reason to be proud."
"You're right, baby." Herb laughed and put his hand on her leg far above her knee. "I'm about to burst with pride."
"The baby is beautiful. And Laura is a lovely mother, isn't she, Herb?"
"Oh, Laura's a great little mother all right."
"Did you ever see a lovelier baby? No wonder you're singing."
Herb laughed again. "Not singing about the baby, Carol."
He held his hand tightly on her upper leg, his fingers biting into her flesh. She bit her lip to keep from crying out. She caught at his fingers, clinging to them. He looked at her and laughed even louder. Then he glanced over his shoulder toward the lights of the Rockmount Hospital shimmering through the rain. "Baby's in the hospital. Laura's in the hospital. You and me, we're not in the hospital. That's why I'm singing, honey. I'm singing about you."
Carol shook her head. She tried to laugh. "Oh, Herb, don't be a kook."
"You think I'm kookie, hon? I been looking forward to this for a long time. You and me. Alone in that house together. Just sweet, juicy, seventeen-year-old little Carol and ole Herb. Lord, how I been looking forward to this!"
"Herb! Don't talk like that!"
"Why not? It's the living truth!"
"Herb, you've been drinking."
"AH right. I've been drinking. Don't preach, Carol! When you preach at me, you sound like your sister."
"Laura only wants you to be good, Herb. That's all I want, too."
"Well, that's too bad, because ole Herb is not a good boy. Don't worry, baby. Laura knew that when she married me. Laura knew ole Herbie liked to take a drink, liked to meet with the folks in the bars, liked a little variety under his belt once in a while."
"If Laura was aware of all that, she thought she could change you. She hoped she could change you that's why she married you." , "She married me for the same reason she's up in that hospital right now. Because she liked ole Herb and what he could do for her. She was three weeks late, and having hysterics "
"I don't believe you!"
He laughed, putting his head back. "What the hell do I care whether you believe me or not? It's the truth. You ask her! Tell her, Carol, that Herb told you about the time she thought she was pregnant, and she begged old Herb to marry her. You should have heard her!"
"I don't want to hear about it!"
"Seventeen, and still filled with dreams about a guy in a white convertible and a big church wedding, baby?"
"I don't know-maybe I am."
Herb laughed. "Well, it's time you got over that, too, because that ain't the way it is. But don't worry, ole Herb is going to teach you just how it really is."
She shuddered, drawing away from him. She had never seen him so drunk or so wild with unbridled passions during the three months she'd been living with him and Laura. His face was sweated, flushed. He was almost like a stranger, except that a few times when he had found her alone in the house he'd acted like this, and sometimes when Laura was out of the room he'd tried to make a few passes at her, but she'd never been afraid of him before. Always before, Laura had been somewhere nearby, and Carol had always half-believed he was teasing when he reached for her. What man would want her when he had a lovely wife like Laura?
Well, it looked as if she just didn't know much about men, or marriage or anything!
She said, "Start the car, Herb. Let's go home. I'm tired, and tomorrow is a big day."
"Tomorrow is a long way off, Carol, honey. It's tonight we're concerned with. And take my word for it, this is going to be a big night for both of us."
"If you keep talking like that, I'll get out."
"In this rain?" He laughed at her.
"I will, Herb."
He shrugged. "Walk home in the rain. Catch your death of cold. It won't matter, ole Herb'll be waiting when you get there."
"Herb, stop talking like that." She gazed at him in the overheated, steamed-up car, with the rain oozing down the windows thicker than syrup. She felt the perspiration break out on her forehead.
She shook her head. She admitted she was only seventeen and didn't know much maybe nothing, as Herb said, but she had not known men were like this. How could Herb talk to her like this, and move his hand on her leg, gazing at her with his eyes savagely afire while his wife lay in recovery after having his baby only a little while ago?
She tried to tell herself it was because he had been drinking. Laura had been a long time in labor, and Carol had gone with Herb to the hospital to wait it out. Laura had a bad time. The nurses said it was like that sometimes with the first one. "Like getting the first olive out of the bottle," Herb had said, talking louder than necessary. The nurses had glanced at him reproachfully.
Carol had seen him leave the waiting room several times. She saw that he talked more, his laugh was looser, his eyes became glassy. She supposed he was drinking because he felt so sorry for Laura and, as she felt, helpless to do anything to alleviate the pain or make the delivery easier for her.
He had gotten drunk while they waited up there in the hospital. But when they had gone in to see Laura and the new baby girl finally, he acted as if he were completely sober, and in the excitement Carol had forgotten all about his drinking.
"Come on, Herb," she said now, "Let's go."
"Sure. All I'm waiting for is you."
"What about me?"
"Where you want to go? We got to celebrate. You tell ole Herb where you want to go."
"I don't want to go anywhere, Herb. Just take me home. I've got to work tomorrow, and I'm tired. I'm too tired to go anywhere. But you can go out and celebrate alone, if you want to."
"Can't celebrate without you."
"I wouldn't be any fun, Herb, as tired as I am."
"Let me worry about that. We got to celebrate."
"You go celebrate, Herb. It's your baby."
"Cut that out, Carol!" Herb's voice hardened. "I told you forget that proud father business! That ain't me! Laura wanted a brat. Well, she got one. Fooling around with ole Herb she'd-likely have gotten one whether she wanted it or not. But that's what she wanted. And that's what she got. I don't want to hear any more about it. It's you and me I want to celebrate. You and me, Carol baby, and all the lovely time we've got together. Just you and me. Round and round. Down and down. Ole Herb's magic. We got to celebrate."
"Take me home!"
"Sure. We'll go home, if that's where you want to celebrate. Thought you might want to have a few drinks first, that's all."
She shook her head. "Suppose I told Laura all this, Herb?"
He laughed and shrugged. "Suppose you did? You want to know what would happen? First, Laura would raise hell with me, and I'd kick her the hell out. So you'd have wrecked her marriage. Second, I'd tell her you were a liar, that you went on the make for me and so if it didn't wreck our marriage, she'd kick you out, and there'd go your dear sister's companionship. You can't win, baby, except one way learning to love ole Herb, and what he's got for you!"
He pulled her over against him in the car. She fought at him but he pressed her head back on the seat. She twisted her head.
Raging, Herb caught her chin in his hand, held her cruelly. "Hold still, damn you! This is just like getting that olive out of the bottle, baby. It's real easy after the first one!"
"I hate you!"
"That's not too bad! Hate will do. It puts fire in those beautiful eyes. You know you got beautiful eyes, Carol? They've been driving me crazy all these weeks, and you know it. But you sit here and pretend you don't know!"
"I didn't know! I didn't know you were thinking about me!"
"Don't lie! You let me feel you when Laura was out of the room."
"I thought you were kidding!"
"Well, now you know! When I make a pass, I'm not fooling!"
"Let me go!"
"Not yet, Carol. I've been wanting this too long."
"Let me go!"
"You're repeating yourself! And oh, how you're going to hate yourself in the morning, for fighting me. You're fighting me now, baby, but before long you'll be loving me."
"Never!"
"Never say never, baby. That's a long time. And just try this on for size."
Still holding her chin in his hand, he crushed his mouth over hers. He pushed his tongue between her lips. She sobbed, struggling. He closed his fingers against her cheeks, pressing his thumb in viciously.
She opened her mouth to cry out. He laughed and thrust his tongue between her teeth, deep into her mouth. She gagged, fighting at him.
He probed with his tongue as if drinking the nectar of her mouth. He gasped, breathing wildly, his hands tightening on her.
He released her at last. "Oh, man," he whispered. "How I needed that. How long I've waited for that. I've been crazy for you, baby, since the first time I saw you. Right then, I knew I had to have you."
"That was the day you married Laura!" She shook her head, repelled.
"That's right, sugar! That's when ole Herb saw how smart he had been. What a bargain he'd gotten, marrying eager little ole Laura and getting two for one. All I been waiting for ever since was getting you like this alone with nobody to bother us, and nothing but time!"
"You're rotten and insane and dirty."
"Honey, you'll turn my head with all those nice words!"
She lunged across the seat, striking at the door handle. He laughed loosely and snagged her, catching at her dress and jerking her back.
Carol cried out.
He hooked his arm around her neck and drew her back, tightening his arm so she could barely breathe.
"Now you sit still, Carol. You ain't going nowhere, except with me."
He started the car now, put it in gear and held her against him with his arm across her throat. When she struggled he tightened his arm until she was gasping for breath. She stopped fighting then and lay still.
The rain continued to fall in blinding shafts as he drove them through the water-covered streets to his home in the new Heaven Heights subdivision. Her head held immobile against his chest, Carol stared out the window into the impenetrable wall of water, too filled with fear and loathing to think straight at all.
When she struggled, Herb went wild with rage and hysterical laughter, fighting her and forgetting the car and the rain. She had had no idea he was that drunk. The car skidded crazily, careening crab-like along the slick pavement.
Carol cried out. He grabbed the wheel at the last minute before they crashed. All she could think was that if Herb were killed in this wild ride, the new baby would have no father and even as she thought what a poor excuse for a parent Herb was, she knew her own life was not worth denying that baby the right to grow up cared for and Laura would have no husband. Carol knew now what a rotten husband Herb was, but Laura did not know, she was sure. She also knew that Laura loved Herb with all her heart.
She lay still, hoping that Herb would concentrate on his driving if she no longer struggled against him.
"Please be careful," she whispered. "Please."
"Sure, honey. Don't want anything to happen to you."
She drew a deep breath, hoping that no matter how many drinks Herb had consumed, he might listen to reason.
"You don't want me, Herb," she said.
"Don't I?" He laughed uproariously at this and she felt the car sway perilously on the street. "Tell me about that, Carol. Tell me about how all them dreams I been having about you all these weeks don't mean anything, and I really don't want you."
"You don't, Herb. You've been drinking-"
"Baby, I'd want you if I were stone cold sober and had three bullets in my chest."
"But I don't want you, Herb!"
"You will. You're just a kid. You just got ripe about day before yesterday. What do you know about it? You never had a man, you don't know what a man can be. You never had ole Herb, you don't know what a good man I can be."
"Herb, I'd only be good for you if I wanted you! But I don't! You're my sister's husband. My sister is in the recovery room after having your baby. If you'll let me out now, I'll just go away somewhere. I won't stay with you and Laura any more."
"Relax! Everything's going to be fine."
"Oh, Herb, I never wanted to come between you and Laura."
"Forget that sentimental jazz! This has nothing to do with Laura. This is between you and me. You, me, and them prize boobies that I been wanting to graze on all these weeks. You're the most exciting little wench I ever saw. I got to have you, so you quit fighting!"
"You you wouldn't want to rape me, Herb!"
"I wouldn't want to," he said. Then he laughed. "But I figure a good rape is better than nothing at all. Now it don't have to be that way, you know. All you got to do is to stop being so holy and righteous just relax and enjoy it!"
She struggled against him involuntarily. He cursed and grabbed at her. The car went out of control again, skidding wildly. The headlights danced crazily across the trees along the parkway. A horn blared loudly in warning, like a cry of terror.
Carol caught her breath and lay still, rigid, trembling all over.
"That's better," Herb said. "Nothing worth getting us both killed over. A little fun, that's all. You'll love it once you've tried it."
"Don't, Herb," she said. "Don't go on with this. If you do, I'll hate it, and I'll hate you."
"Lie still and shut up."
Then the car turned into their drive and she sighed audibly, trying to be thankful they'd made it through the wet, slippery streets. Herb stopped the car in the carport and Carol shuddered when he did not release his grip on her.
As he pulled her out of the car, Carol gazed around helplessly, seeing the other houses, a few of them with lights burning and TV sets glowing in the wet darkness. They all seemed so far away, so remote, as if they were on another planet. And she kept thinking that if she screamed there would be a scandal, and that Herb would not even really care only Laura would be hurt, only Laura's marriage would be destroyed. She felt the rush of hatred overcoming her and she tried to break away.
The thought struck her that this was the moment for flight. She had to elude that tight grasp on her arm and run. It was a long three blocks to the bus stop, but she could wait for a bus and spend a night in some hotel. She would stay away until Laura came home from the hospital.
"Stop fighting, Carol," he said. "Where do you think you'd get to in all this rain?" He laughed. "Besides, you go running around alone at night, some guy might attack you."
She shrank from his raucous laughter. She struggled, but his hand tightened and she soon found herself in the foyer of the small house that was almost identical with all the other houses out here. She wondered if all the other men in those other similar houses were like Herb.
She glanced at him, trembling inside. He was a monster. He looked so ordinary five feet six or seven, and weighing no more than a hundred and forty-five. His black hair was cropped close to his skull. There was a curious laxness about his mouth and a glittering in his red-veined brown eyes. His features were sharply hewn, almost delicate, but there was a fierce strength about him built up in the Marines, edged now by drink and desire.
He was good-looking; she'd always thought Herb and Laura made such a lovely couple. He was dark and intense, she willowy and blonde and Laura loved him so terribly!
Carol glanced about her, looking at the familiar rooms as Herb snapped on the lights. The rain battered at the roofing, drummed heavily at the window-' panes and the place was suddenly filled with dread for her. It seemed so crowded, even with just her and
Herb alone in it. He seemed to be everywhere, bigger than life, more threatening, without pity, beyond reason.. She wished she'd had sense enough to realize that something like this might happen if she were alone with Herb.
But she had not. She saw now that he had counted on this. She'd had no experience with men, other than the young boys she had dated and the one man whom she had known long ago, so long ago she'd almost put him out of her mind. She had been so filled with excitement over Laura's new baby and Laura's overflowing happiness. She had thought Herb would share that wonder and thrilling exultance.
How could she have known he would be like this?
He was drunk, and he was wild with lust, and he was unlike he had ever been before.
"Let's stop kidding, Carol! We've fooled around long enough. Laura isn't here for you to run to. If you want to run to her tomorrow, okay, you do that. But stop whining now. You're a big girl. That body of yours is seventeen going on twenty-four. You can't drive a man crazy with those boobs and those legs and that face and not expect him to do something about it!"
Carol stared at him, shaking her head, knowing there was no chance of ever getting through to his reason.
"Oh, Herb! How can you talk like this tonight!" Herb peered at her, a glittering light firing up his eyes.
"Because I been looking forward to this night so much! I've been sick with the dreams I've had. I've lain awake at night and thought about you." He took an unsteady step toward her. "I want some sweetness from you, honey. That's all. And I deserve it after the way I've been so patient, waiting until Laura was out of the house and all. You got to admit, I touched you a few times and you liked it."
"I hated it!"
"You liked it, and you know you liked it, but I waited until Laura wasn't around so she wouldn't get upset. I knew you didn't want to upset Laura. Well, now you can forget about Laura and start thinking about me."
Carol trembled. She wanted to run, but knew she could not get away from him. She wanted to scream, but knew no one would hear her in this rainstorm. And if anyone did hear her, she had wrecked Laura's chance at happiness! Tears welled up in her eyes.
"We're going to celebrate, sugar. Come on and I'll get us a couple of drinks to get you heated up. And stop that crying! You're no kid, and I want you to quit acting like one!"
She glanced at the door an impossible distance! She saw Herb licking his lips, seeing her measuring her chances of making it to the door and into the rainy night. Where would she go? What would Laura's neighbors say? What would they think? She would ruin this neighborhood for Laura if she ran to her neighbors with this ugly truth about Herb. She stared at him, seeing that he had been through all this in his mind. There was no answer, except for her to submit to him, and Herb had known this from the start.
If only she could think of some way to quiet him, and yet keep the neighbors from knowing somehow keep Laura from finding out what sort of man she had married.
She watched him walk toward her, his face flushed with passion, beaded with the raw sweat of the whiskey burning inside him.
She shook her head, feeling helpless against him. She heard him telling her what he was going to do and her face burned at the sound of the filth spilling out of his loose mouth.
She watched him laugh at her outraged reaction. She was giving him everything just as he wanted it, just as he had prepared for it in his lip-smacking, ugly dreams of her. She shuddered, seeing that Herb did not want her passive or willing he wanted her to fight him!
Part of the thrill for Herb was in her fighting him!
She had never suspected this truth about rapists. She had never even thought of this at all as something that could happen to her or to anyone she knew; it was always something that happened in far places, to strangers. But she saw now that this was for real. Herb wanted her to fight him, he wanted to subdue her, to overpower her, to conquer and hurt her. Nothing else was going to excite and satisfy his savage lusts.
"You want a drink before I get you, doll?"
She shook her head. "No, Herb, I don't want to drink at all."
Herb looked at her and shrugged. "Okay, I'll have another one."
It occurred to her that Herb was terribly drunk, and maybe she could delay him, keep him drinking until he passed out or until she could get away.
She knew she was grasping at straws, but there was nothing else left to her. "I guess I do."
Herb poured her a stiff drink in a glass, dropped in some ice and poured in some mixer. He held it out to her, and then drank from the bottle, watching her over the top of it.
"Well, come on, come on, drink up," he growled at her. "It'll warm up those frigid insides. That's all you need to get a little warmed up."
"Yes." Carol tried to smile, tried to deceive him with her smile. "That's all I need, Herb. Give me a little time."
He laughed at her. "Sorry about that," he said. "I would if I could, but I just don't have much time I been waiting too long for all these goodies."
"I can't drink it too fast, it'll make me sick."
He thought about this a moment, drinking again. "Okay, I'll be a good boy. But I'll have to have a little reward for my patience. I'll wait while you drink if you'll strip down for me."
"What?"
"You heard me. Strip. Get them clothes off. All of 'em. I want to look at them boobs. I'm tired of sneaking around trying to catch you in the bathroom, or before you got dressed in the morning, or lying around at night! Damn it! I'm tired of waiting! I want to look at them! Now, you heard me. Strip down!"
The ice clinked against the sides of her glass because her hands were trembling. But in her sick fear, Carol saw that even the hated idea of undressing would delay him and that he would drink more, the more excited he became.
"All right," she said at last, her voice quavering. "Only wait until I'm all undressed and finished with my drink before you touch me, Herb. Please! You can do that much for me!"
"Why should I?"
"You don't want me to hate you, do you, Herb? I've never done it with anybody. Can't you just give me a little time?"
Herb drew the back of his hand across his mouth and took another swig. His hands shook with the excitement mounting inside him. She shivered, seeing that reminding him of her virginity had been a mistake; it made him even wilder and more anxious to ravish her body.
"Then get 'em off. Take a big drink of that stuff and start stripping, sweetie, before I lose my temper and beat hell out of you!"
She stared at him as if he were some monster from a nightmare world and not the man who'd married her sister. She took a drink, almost gagging, but not daring to because this would enrage him more. She forced a smile, while inside she was cringing at the indignity and evil of what he demanded.
"You don't want me to tell Laura you went on the make for me the minute she got out of the house," he said, "you'll jump when I tell you! You'll do what I tell you."
"You can't tell Laura!"
He laughed. "That's up to you, baby. I won't tell your darling sister you tried to cut her out with me, as long as you don't push me. You remember to do what I tell you, and maybe I won't tell Laura the way you wanted to double-cross her with me."
She stared at him, seeing how smoothly he'd push-cu her into the position of being more afraid that Laura would learn what had happened here tonight than of what he might do to her. This wasn't strictly true. It was just that Laura was not here to stand between her and Herb tonight. By the time she heard about this monstrous night, only Laura could be hurt by it.
Herb had her exactly where he wanted her. He had manipulated her perfectly so that she was helpless against him. And this was well planned in advance, too!
The only thing Herb hadn't planned was the rain, and this only added to the heated closeness, as if enclosing them inside its high, wet wall.
"Take your clothes off!" he ordered. "Or do you want me to do it for you?"
"Please, Herb. I said I would." And she shuddered, hearing herself begging Herb to allow her to undress for him! She saw the excitement rise inside him like a fever at her words.
Herb smiled and nodded. "Then do it. Put that drink down and pull off that dress!"
Feeling numbness lowering down over her mind like a curtain, Carol set the glass down on the table. Closing her eyes, she unzipped her dress and reached down slowly to pull it upward over her long, slender legs, her supple hips, the full, high-tilted breasts that drove Herb wild, and then over her honey-blonde hair, snarling it. She didn't care how she looked!
"Lovely! Beautiful!" Herb whispered hoarsely, drinking and nodding, staring at her body revealed in dinging slip, bra and panties.
She watched him drink, seeing that he was drinking more in his excitement. She was terribly afraid of him, but nothing mattered except making him wait, making him drink too much. Only self-preservation had any urgency.
She resisted the terrible urge to fold her arms across the delicate rise of her firm, rounded breasts above the top of her slip.
Herb's veined eyes seemed riveted on those breasts, crawling across them like something loathsome.
"Don't just stand there!" Herb croaked. He drank from the mouth of the bottle. "Get that slip off!"
"All right, Herb. Let me have a drink?"
"Hurry it up! I'm about to burst with wanting you. You can't stall me much longer. No sense trying!"
She took up the glass of bourbon and soda in trembling fingers and took a sip of it, holding it against her mouth until she saw Herb getting restive and red with anger.
She set the glass down and loosened the straps of her slip over her shoulders. Herb was still a few feet from her but the sound of his breathing was the loudest thing in the night
She caught the lace hem of her slip and slowly pulled it upward, hearing the friction-whisper of fabric against flesh.
Carol stood a moment with the slip in her hands, frightened and quivering, fighting down the urge to press it against the bared flesh between her bra and the delicate webbing of her panties.
"Drop it!" He snarled the order, and almost in reaction Carol let the slip flutter to the floor at her feet.
"That's better. You're learning fast."
"One more drink, Herb?"
"You can have a drink when you get them boobies out. I got to see them before I go nuts. I want to see 'em now!"
She nodded, trembling. She reached between her shoulder blades and unsnapped her bra. Her arms seemed numb, as if they could not draw away the light fabric covering her breasts. Her heart hammered crazily, and yet it seemed as though part of her mind was numbed, shutting out all the ugliness of this forced act.
She drew the bra away and her breasts seemed to catch the light of the room, glowing golden, creamy perfection. Her small pink nipples, made erect by her fear and the chill of her nakedness, stood rigid.
Herb moaned deep in his throat and lunged for her. She cried out, backing away, but he was upon her. panting, sobbing, burying his face in the resilient glory of her breasts, kissing them, closing his teeth on her nipples, pulling her closer to him.
He held her with one hand at the small of her back, the other moving excitedly, wildly exploring her breasts, feeling the heat and firmness of them, squeezing, massaging, caressing. It was as if all these weeks he had been dying with hunger for her, stifled by his need, and he could no longer be denied.
She pulled her head back, watching him slobbering at her breasts, whispering as he nuzzled them. How she hated him! Not even what he was doing at one of the most erogenous zones of her body was enough to make her forget her cold hatred and loathing.
"Now then, baby, them pants!" He whispered it against her throat, barely able to speak at all.
She knew then that she had lost the battle, and the war. It did not matter how much Herb drank, he was more intoxicated by her. The bourbon was like so much water to him. Nothing was going to stop him until he had what he wanted from her.
Shaken, feeling lost, Carol tried to writhe free of his grasp.
Herb struck her across the face.
"Stand still, damn you! Nobody's going to hurt you, unless you try to get cute with me!"
His voice chilled her. She could look in his eyes and see that he dared her to oppose him. He would enjoying breaking her will.
She drew a deep breath, feeling the sense of numbness spreading through her mind. This was not real. None of it. It was not happening. It could not be happening. Not to her. It was not real. It was a horrible nightmare. It would end soon. Soon. It had to end.
He shook her viciously. She felt her teeth rattle against each other.
He motioned to her to remove her panties and he stood back, still bracing her with his hand on the small of her back. Sweat dripped along his face and it discolored his shirt. His eyes distended, following the downward roll of her flimsy pants.
Her hands slid the fabric over the rise of her hips, along her thighs to her knees. The panties fell to her feet and she stepped out of them, naked and shivering all over, her body covered with gooseflesh.
Herb stared in sick fascination at the bewitching sight of her fully exposed feminine charms. For a moment he did not touch her, as if hypnotized by the virginal beauty of her nude, perfect body.
She felt her stomach roil and she was afraid she was going to be sick. She would have been sick, except that her mind kept blanking out the whole scene, telling her it wasn't happening to her, it had no reality, it was a bad dream.
"Now!"
The word was ripped from him like the bellow of an animal in the rutting season. "Now, I'm going to have you I I'm going to have it all! I been wanting it like a man needs food and water and now I'm going to have it!"
It was as if the awe and desire bled from Herb's wide eyes. His hands moved on her like crawling slime, but it was his eyes that made her ill.
They were not Herb's eyes, they were the eyes of a man she had thought she had forgotten, wild and eager and crazed with delight and lust eyes that she saw she had not really forgotten, but had only put away in the dark crannies of her mind so she could live with herself.
With a wild cry, Carol tried to tear herself away from his grasp, but those arms circled her like hot, wet serpents, and those hands closed with a fierce, unbelievable strength. His mouth parted and smashed down over hers. Then he lifted her against him, carrying her to the bedroom.
She tried to scream, but she could not. She tried to fight free but he held her as if she were without strength. She beat wildly at him, but he did not even feel the puny blows of her fists. He dumped her on the bed and fell beside her
He thrust her legs apart and she felt him moving in between them and she wailed, knowing the sound was unuttered, lodged deep in her own mind.
"Hold still!" His harsh voice rasped at her.
She tried to shut it all out of her mind. She felt him thrusting closer and closer to her, felt the fiery burst of pain when he lunged down hard, taking her brutally with all his force. She wailed aloud then in agony and terror, but he did not even hear her.
He drew her body up close to him, moving upon her faster and faster, insensible to her weeping. He pressed her tightly to him and he was blotted out. Then it was not Herb with her, it was another nightmare creature with the same fierce reality. It rushed back over her from the darkness where she had kept it concealed these six years, even from herself ...