Chapter 11
Neither of the two, the John nor Sandy, noticed the sudden tenseness which had overtaken Deedee. "Scotch and soda for me," Sandy answered her host, "but don't make it too stiff for now."
Deedee slid her glass across the bar, indicating the halfway mark as she did so. "Bourbon," she called out, "right up to there."
Sandy's eyes widened. "Oh? Oh, hey, Deedee. Guess what Junior here was just telling me. His buddy thinks this is a double date, a straight one. How's that for a kick in the fanny? Junior can't wait to surprise him."
"Junior" gave the girls their drinks, mixing himself a brandy and soda. He licked his lips nervously. "Yeah," he said, "we can make this a lot of fun, y'know? We'll have a couple more drinks, get kind of loosened up before he gets here. Then you girls get out of some of that finery you're draped in, like we're really having an orgy, you know? We'll get him all steamed up and ready for the bedroom, then you girls can go into your act. Got it?" He laughed, an oily, unpleasant, lascivious laughter. "We'll shake the hell out of him."
Sandy drank half her Scotch and soda at one gulp. "You're the boss, Junior," was her only reply.
Deedee downed all of her whiskey at one gulp and slid the glass back across the bar for a refill. She was starting to feel the effects already, and that was exactly what she wanted. Junior poured another stiff drink for her, watching her with both amusement and a certain speculation. She sipped her drink more slowly this time. She felt warm, though, and without thinking took off her blouse. Junior licked his lips. "The brassiere, too," he suggested. She shrugged, turned her back, and with trembling, eager fingers he unsnapped the offending garment. She draped it around his neck, and he chortled. Little bubbles appeared, rather unpleasantly, at the corners of his mouth.
"Say," he said, gaily, "this is fun, huh? How about you, Sandy? Come to the party, babe!"
"Better top this drink, Junior," Sandy said after a careful scrutiny of Deedee. "Looks like we're all gonna end up plastered tonight!" She slipped out of her dress, stepped out of her half-slip, and stood at the bar wearing only nylons, garter belt and filmy panties. She neither needed nor wore a bra. Junior was beside himself with ecstasy, prancing and snorting, drinking heavily himself and urging more and more drinks upon the girls.
The buzzer sounded. Junior got to his feet from the sofa to which the trio had finally repaired. Deedee was, by now, quite drunk, almost numb. Her thoughts were confused, but as real to her as this "party." She wondered, vaguely, what she was doing here. Then she wondered where "here" might be. Was this a bad dream? She shook her head, trying to clear it. Sandy was nearly as drunk as her friend, and after putting on a record was in the center of the room doing bumps and grinds to the sensual music, when Junior returned with his guest.
It was Ralph Colman. Deedee peered from half-open eyes at her college friend. She knew he shouldn't be here, but here he was. She giggled. An expression of shock, almost of anguish, crossed his features. Deedee recognized neither emotion. In fact, she giggled again, as the young man stood there staring at her in horror.
Junior, in his role of overanxious host, fixed a round of drinks for everyone, and from there on out, things were a complete loss to Deedee. She was aware of hot hands, girl's hands, on her body at one stage of the evening, but she didn't really feel them. Neither did she feel Sandy's lips.
She wakened sometime before dawn, in her own bed, in the apartment she shared with Jim Bradley. She had a throbbing headache, and no idea at all as to how she'd gotten home. For a few minutes she lay there trying to recall something very important but it wouldn't come to her. She sighed heavily, got out of bed to get a drink of water. Jim was awake, troubled, pacing the living room. He looked at her as she entered, a puzzled frown upon his face. "Some tea party!"
Tea party? Deedee fished into her mind. Oh, the faculty thing she'd told him she was attending. "What-what time did I get home?" she asked meekly.
He shrugged. "You can search me. I got in from Santa Barbara about ten-thirty. You were passed out on the sofa. I took you into the bedroom, undressed you and managed to get you in bed. Who, by the way, is Junior?"
She ran a trembling hand across her clammy forehead. "God, Jim, I don't know what happened or what hit me. I swear, I just had about three Martinis-you know I can't drunk very much. I blanked out. "I guess the fact that I was waiting to eat with you didn't help me handle the Martinis either. I'd sort of planned a different evening, Jim. Are you mad at me?"
He tried to frown again, but was unable to maintain his anger. Laughing, he patted her bare fanny. "Hell no, Deedee. It's happened to me too many times. Anyhow, whoever Junior was, you must have given him a bad time. You sure were fightin' him off! I couldn't convince you I was me. Now, why don't you go take a shower and get dressed? We'll go into Hollywood and grab a big breakfast. I'd say you could use some food. Then we can come back here and I'll get some shut-eye while you do the shopping for the weekend. We'll have our party tonight." He laughed again, wagging his head. "I mean, those professors and their Blue Harbour tea parties!"
Dear Jim, she thought, feeling a wave of tenderness. He does deserve so much better than he's getting. She kissed him on the forehead, careful not to let him smell her breath which she was sure must be terrible. Then she went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She turned on the shower and, while she was waiting for it to adjust itself, brushed her teeth, then gargled long and carefully. She slipped on a shower cap, stepped into the glass-enclosed tub, gasping as the cool water shocked her back to normality.
Suddenly, she froze, with the washcloth half lifted. Ralph Colman! That was the important thing she'd been trying to remember.
Deedee's world suddenly shattered into little pieces. What would he do or say? Would he report her to the school administration? She narrowed her eyes, trying to encompass all the possibilities. Hardly. He could get himself into trouble by doing that. What, then? They'd been close friends, the best of "good buddies." It was all but inconceivable that he'd do nothing. She recalled, all too vividly, now that the shower had completely sobered her, his look of stunned hurt and amazement when he'd first seen her last night. Deedee soaped herself as she thought, scrubbing thoroughly. Damn, she thought, I knew I shouldn't have gone on that trick with Sandy. Well, she finally decided, there's nothing I can do about it now until Monday. Something told her, however, that she hadn't heard the last of that night. Her luck had never run that way. There was certainly no reason for it to change now.
She and Jim had a fairly good time Saturday and Sunday. While Deedee had to put on a good act, Jim bought it in its entirety, and she began to have fun despite her fears. Jim was still a good lover, a fact he proved repeatedly Sunday morning as they lay late in bed.
"How long will you be here this time, Jim?" she asked him.
"I had planned on staying the week, but I've got a goddamned funny bug in my mind that something's gone wrong. I think I'd better get back and stop it before it gets too far. I have hunches, you know, Deedee, and they're usually right. I don't know what's wrong, but I damned well know something is. So I think I'll cut out tonight. You've got exams coming up soon anyhow, haven't you, baby?" She nodded. "So, I'll go on home, check the reports, listen to my 'ever-loving' wife nag and whine. I'll try to get back in the next couple of weeks." He got out of bed, padded over to the dresser, picked up his wallet and riffled through it. "Rent's due soon, isn't it, honey?"
"Next week."
"Damn. I don't have too much cash with me right now, and I still don't like to cash checks when I'm on the road. If I leave you a bill and a half do you think you can get by until I get back?"
"Oh, Jim, you don't have to leave yourself short. I've still got some of the last you-"
"Hush, child. Here." He took three fifty-dollar bills out of his wallet, opened the top dresser drawer, tossed them in carefully. "You got anything left over, buy yourself something pretty. Well, we still got the day ahead of us. The evening, too. What'll we do? Hey, you know what I'd like to do? Let's go out to Marineland. I always did want to see those goddamned big fish go through their tricks. Okay?"
Deedee laughed. Jim was like a big kid in a lot of ways, with his complete trust, his inherent goodness, his wide-eyed appreciation of a world that was made for his pleasure and enjoyment. "Okay. First, though, come here and give us a kiss!"
Later in the afternoon, while Jim waited patiently in a little bar around the corner, Deedee went to visit her little girl. Almost two years old now, the child was an adorable miniature of Pat Aniel. She did have Deedee's vivid red hair, however, and a personality that captured the hearts of every adult she met. Deedee stayed for almost an hour, discussing school and finances with her Mexican friend, and playing, touching and smelling the sweet cleanness of her daughter. It seemed to make everything worth-while, even the sordid way she was living.
She'd almost forgotten about the disastrous Friday night party until Jim kissed her good-bye. Taking her chin firmly in his hand, he lifted her small, heart-shaped face. "Diedre," he spoke with soft understanding, "I realize your life is filled with work, with worry, and even, in spite of our love, with loneliness. But please, baby, take good care of yourself. And if you don't have enough money to buy a good dress-" Deedee's eyes widened in amazement; what, she wondered, had brought this on-"please ask me for it. That thing you wore to the faculty party, Deedee-it was cheap. You didn't look like the nice person you are in it. Forgive me, darling, if I'm hurting you, but you don't need tight, low-cut clothes. They truly don't become you."
Deedee lowered her eyes, and nodded a humble assent.
On Monday, what Deedee had figured might happen, did happen. Ralph Colman was waiting for her on the sidewalk when she came out of her English Lit class. He fell into step beside her "Nice party the other night," he said with an edge.
She glanced up, said nothing. He grasped her by the shoulder, moving her off the sidewalk under a tree. She leaned back, inhaling the fresh air, closing her eyes, waiting.
"What a stupid jerk I've been," he went on. "Look at me. How you must have laughed when you heard me defending your virtue. You, the-the untouchable war widow! You hear me?"
Without opening her eyes, she murmured, "I hear you."
"You had me fooled, all right. You had the whole school fooled. Well, you can keep right on fooling the whole school. I got a few buddies, though, at the house, and they're going to move in on the action-with me! Oh, don't worry. I'm not blackmailing you, Miss Ryan. I wouldn't expect you to do anything for us you wouldn't do for somebody else."
"No," she agreed, "you wouldn't expect that."
"Of course, we can't afford to pay you quite as much, maybe. But you'd give an 'old friend' a discount, wouldn't you? We can chip in. There won't be any freebies, if that's what you're thinking."
"Did you sleep with him after?" Deedee asked.
"What?"
"Junior," she explained, patiently. "Did you sleep with him after the ... show the other night? Was it fun? Did he give you a tip?"
"Why, you-what I do is none of your business, you understand? But you're going to co-operate with me, or the whole school's going to know all about you. That you're a dyke, a lesbian, a-a whore! So just clam up about Junior. Now, Wednesday night, you got a date with me and my buddy-a double date. Twenty bucks. Okay?"
"Who's the other girl?"
Ralph laughed mockingly. "What other girl? With all your talents, you ought to be able to handle a couple of innocent young college boys!"
He laughed mockingly and walked away.
Deedee stood against the tree for several minutes. I should feel ashamed, she thought. I should. But he's just as bad as I am, if not worse. I'm only doing what I have do, that's all.
She went on to her next class. A partition dropped into place before the less savory aspects of her life, leaving her mind free to concentrate on her school work. And twenty dollars was just another twenty dollars for her fund. She smiled, got out a pencil and pad, started making notes. Then she remembered that Ralph Colman had introduced her to Jim.