Chapter 12

Bob hadn't, of course, told Penny about that night in the field, of his bestial breakdown. Instead he'd stressed Ardis' mental state; he'd begged for time to make the break as easy for her as he possibly could. If he could just have a couple more weeks-

All of which-after Bob's vehement outpourings of rage and hatred for his wife-was very hard for Penny to understand. But if love is not steadfast, it is nothing at all.

They were together every chance they had. Indeed, it was all Bob had. Without their runaway afternoons, their stolen weekends, he most certainly would have gone insane himself.

And since Ardis was in such a preoccupied, prayer-mumbling coma most of the time, since she never seemed to notice whether he was around or not. She wouldn't miss him.

And on a drizzly, chill Wednesday, the last of October, Bob and Penny once more reunited in their motel hideaway. By rights he should have been at work, but, the urge undeniable, he'd left Aldus Wells in charge. Taking the fresh clothes from their hiding place beneath the pickup's seat, he'd streaked away for the afternoon. Changing in the men's room at a gas station, he was in Haines by two o'clock. They'd have three glorious hours of love before it would be time to return to the harsh reality of the world-of Garrett Park and Ardis.

She had the Buick this afternoon. Seemingly in a better frame of mind lately, he'd coaxed Ardis into driving into town for some shopping. She should splurge on something pretty for herself. Ardis would be so preoccupied with her holiday that it would never occur to her to check on him.

"Oh, Penny, darling," he moaned now, both of them already naked in bed. "If you only knew how much this means to me, how I live for these moments with you." He made a slavish ritual of sliding his lips up and down her silky, fragrant thighs. He actually arranged her knees so her gold-furred vagina was a gaping, liquid wound. Then he slowly, tenderly bent his face to her sweet mound, let his tongue flick, lance the swollen boil of her passion, an obeisance that made her squirm and groan.

For an eternity, he cowered in her humid nest, probed her hole with his tongue. He made a reverent ceremony of swabbing her labia, tickling the soft down surrounding it. Again his tongue slashed her clitoris. Surrendering herself totally to him, she orgasmed, jittered, her pantings proud and unrestrained.

Then he was up, lying in her arms, his lips devouring hers, his tongue dancing in her mouth, His mouth dropped to her breasts, tugged and suctioned her tits, driving Penny to still more ecstasy. "When, when," she wailed, "When, darling? When will we be together for good? As man and wife? I long for it so desperately."

"I know," he mumbled, pulling his mouth from her tits momentarily. "I know how you feel. Don't you think I want it too? Don't you think I hate this sneaking around? I want to be seen on the streets with you. I want the whole world to know that this is my wife ... the woman I love. There are so many things we haven't shared yet, baby. Just the simple act of going to a movie together, on a picnic ... taking a trip somewhere. It's worth waiting for, angel. Soon now. Something's bound to happen."

"Oh, I want you, Bob! I love you so desperately. If I could only show you ... prove how deeply I love you. Please, darling? Today? This afternoon? That thing I've wanted from you? Please, baby? Won't you make love to my ass?"

"No, no, Penny," he gasped, a chilling recollection of that night with Ardis instantly seizing in his brain. "Don't ask for that. I can't. I just can't! I'd hurt you! I'd kill you. Maybe someday. Only not..."

"What if we never have that someday?" she pleaded. "What if something happens to us, and we never find the time ... the courage to do that? If I were to die without having done that with you..."

"Die? Don't talk about dying, Penny. We're going to live forever ... be happy forever and ever. Oh, God, I want to cry when I think of how if s going to be. You and me ... together."

"I want to suck you. To suck you until you come. I want to do so much for you, give you so much. Please, Bob! Let me! You must! I've been dreaming about it all week long. If that gives you pleasure ... then it gives me equal pleasure. You will, won't you, baby?" she coaxed.

He was thrilled. This angel, this sweet angel. Instantly his penis tingled and throbbed: he felt his juice boil. "If. ... if that's what you really want But then, how am I going to take care of you ... how'll I fuck you regular?"

Her giggle was evil, smug. "You just let me worry about that, huh? Mama's got ways."

Then it was her turn to arrange Bob on the bed, to place and spread his legs, to handle his balls, to playfully slap his penis, work his ooze into his glans with tender, loving fingers. And not much later, when he was thrashing and hissing helplessly-

Her mouth, hot and liquid, clinging fire descended upon his penis. Her tongue vibrated; her lips ringed him in choppy sucking mouthings. Slowly, she sank her mouth onto his penis. She crooned happily, gratefully, harbored as much of him as she could. Now her mouth began going up and down slowly, ritualistically, her lips a hot, stripping ring.

Both Bob and Penny were so far adrift in their self-sacrificing love that they never heard the slight click of the door. In their haste, they'd neglected to lock it. Suddenly, it was flung open. The glare of the light stunned them to frozen immobility. Penny, farthest into ecstasy, was the last to recover. Dreamily, her eyes still not focusing, she raised her head. It seemingly took her a century to turn her head toward the door.

Ardis stood with her back to the now closed door. She held up an ugly automatic in both hands, braced it as best she could.

"Ardis!" Bob bellowed. "Put that damned thing down!"

"Jezebel!" Ardis screamed, her voice insane. "Filthy rotten adultress! Did you think I'd let this go on forever? How stupid do you think I am? Look at you! Perverts, both of you! Slime dripping from both of you!" Her eyes rolled dementedly one last time, then settled, firmed. The automatic steadied in her hand, zeroed in on them.

"No, dear God, no!" Penny screamed.

It was the last thing she ever said. Bob leaped for Penny, wanting to protect her body with his own. But he was too late. Suddenly her face exploded. Blood was all over the bed, over the wall. He whirled toward Ardis.

"The Lord works in wondrous ways," she was chanting, her eyes crazed, filmed. "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. Vengeance is..."

Bob never heard the rest of it. For then the gun boomed again, and he was flung back. He felt like someone had just hit him with an axe. He fought for breath; he fought to get at Ardis. The gun roared again, and he was spun completely around. He fell face down on the bed, his torso on the mattress, his legs hanging down.

In that last instant of life, two things registered on his brain: One was the sight of Ardis jamming the gun into her mouth, pulling the trigger, splattering the door behind her with her own brains. The second was his futile attempt to climb toward Penny, to touch her, comfort her one last time. But he could not. No! Don't let it end now! So close-his mind thundered. So close to paradise, and yet so far. Penny-oh, Penny! I love-

He slid off the bed, fell onto his back. He stared unseeing at the motel room's ceiling.

The world spun crazily for Bob. That white ceiling became black; it oozed in from the outer edges, and the white dot in the centerlast glimpse into eternity-began to get smaller, still smaller. The black light enveloped the earth, plunged the universe into gloom. A moment later even that tiny pinprick in the doom of heaven, a glittering diamond now-last benign glance from a stern yet merciful God-went out.

A booming, deafening rush of wind sounded. Then there was an earth-shrouding silence. And Bob was gone.

In the days that followed, the police unraveled the mystery of the three deaths in the small motel room. They grilled Penny's husband and he was a prime suspect until the coroner verified that it was actually two murders and a suicide. Pima State Hospital defended themselves with the stiff statement: "The patient exhibited no homicidal tendencies during her confinement, and we judged her release to be perfectly safe."

In Ardis' desk drawer the police found dozens of slips of paper, all with the same message scribbled on them:

"The loving is easy; it's the living that's hard."