Chapter 11

Liz got whistles, applause and a cry of "She's one of the boys." Liz bowed and stood next to Thelma.

"And now," Natalie announced, "for the piece de resistance. Wolf bait on the hoof for you dirty old men. She's more piece than resistance. I give you ... Loli-ta!"

Slowly Kathy came into view. She wore a little girl's dress, white knee sox, Mary Jane shoes, a wide brimmed sun hat and posed with finger coyly in her mouth.

The men applauded and stamped their feet noisily. Mitch sang out, "Yes sir, that's my baby."

But it was obvious Kathy was embarrassed. She had a flushed face and looked uncomfortable.

Mike shouted, "That's what I call jail bait or I call it lunch."

Everyone laughed. Dale smiled weakly. Mike hit him on the shoulder and said, "If I had that I'd bolt the door and never go out of the house."

Suddenly Irv said something that no one believed, it was so out of context with the moment. "Dale," he said, "take your child bride and go home. Do us a favor."

There was silence and then Irv just about repeated, "I mean it. Tell her to put her clothes on and get out of here."

Kathy looked bewildered, lost and undecided what to do or say. Natalie looked at Irv to see if he was kidding.

Mitch got to his feet scowling and growled at Irv, "What the hell's got into you all of a sudden. Are you nuts?"

"You're the one who's nuts. They're just kids. They don't belong here. Tell them to go before it's too late." Irv refused to back down.

"For Christ's sake," Mitch said, "you invited them here. Do you remember that?"

Irv said, "All right. I dick It was a bad mistake. Do I have to compound it? Do you have to compound it?" He turned to the others. "You know what we've turned into-a mutual pimping society."

Natalie turned to Liz helplessly. "What's he been drinking? Or has he gone nuts all of a sudden?"

Liz was of no help. But she did say, "None of our guests are going to leave unless we say so. And you can be sure we're not saying so." She strode to the bar and poured herself a drink. Irv followed to the bar and poured himself a stiffer drink.

Mitch was furious. "What a lousy way to put a damper on the party. What the hell-explain yourself."

Irv gulped his drink. "It's simple. Look at them, Mitch. They're kids. Why should it be us that starts them on something they might regret?"

Dale moved to Kathy's side. All looked to them for an answer.

They didn't say anything so Mitch spoke up again. "I don't get it. I'm bewildered. If you felt that way, why did you invite them?"

Irv said, "I guess you don't understand me. I'll do anything but I don't like the idea of breaking anyone else into these kinds of free-wheeling morals. I don't want them to be awfully sorry later for what they did tonight. Anyway not because of me."

"Well, I'll be damned," Mitch snarled. "Because of you. What did you do, twist their arms to make them come here?"

Irv didn't answer, turned his back to Mitch, sat down on the divan and just stared off into space.

Mitch fixed his gaze on Dale and Kathy. "Look, I don't know what this is all about but this is my house. If you want to stay you are welcome."

There was silence and Dale looked at Kathy and asked, "Kathy?"

Kathy looked at Mitch with her large dark eyes. A lot went through her mind. She was clear-headed now. She thought of her initial reluctance, Mitch, the scene in the bathroom with Liz and she decided there'd be no more hypocrisy. She said it clearly and directly, "I just want to get laid." After it came out she was shocked by her own words.

Mitch looked smug and happy. "Are you satisfied, Irv?" he asked.

Irv shrugged. You can't fight City Hall. He turned. "Okay," he said wearily, "ball yourselves silly. All of you. I just didn't want anyone to get hurt, that's all."

It was still silent so Irv went on, "Well, what are we waiting for? Up with the skirts and down with the pants and we'll all see what makes the world go round."

Natalie laughed nervously and then kissed Irv on the cheek. "You had me worried there for a while. Scared, too."

Irv said, "The trouble with you people is you can't take a joke." He grinned. "All right," he said, "let's get going. Before we show the stag reels, let's see who is paired with who for the night."

"Yeah," Mitch said, "everyone around the table for the bottle ceremony." Everyone sat around the table.

"Ready," Mitch said. "I'm the host so I'll spin for my partner." He spun the bottle and it came out to Liz. That didn't count since husbands and wives couldn't end up together. Mitch spun it again. It pointed to Kathy.

"Fix!" Mike shouted.

Mitch grinned. "I'm a lucky bastard," he said. "I get the cream."

Natalie said, "I hope you can make her happy. That's all I'm concerned with."

"I'll try," said Mitch, "and what fun trying."

They spun until everyone was coupled off. Liz went with Irv. Thelma with Dale. And Natalie with Mike. She was obviously disappointed. Natalie wanted Dale. So it was arranged that later in the evening these two couples would switch.

"Happy coat time," Mitch announced. All the men hied off to the bedrooms to take off their clothes and don happy coats.

Irv said to Dale, "Come on, swinger. Your education is about to begin."

When the men had left the room, Thelma said, "Men. I'll never understand them. They're retarded."

Because Kathy was just sitting and staring Thelma asked her, "Are you all right, Kathy? You look unhappy-"

Kathy said, "I was thinking about Irv and what he said about us. Maybe Dale and I aren't mature enough. I mean for this."

Liz had the answer. "Only you would know. No one else can help you."

Kathy spoke directly, "It's what Dale wants. He'd know. I think it's something he has to do and then I hope he gets it out of his system. Usually what Dale wants I do."

Thelma was cynical. "You listen to me. Don't count on a man just trying it and giving it up. Once you start you're stuck with it. It's too much fun to give up."

"Every wife," explained Liz, "who swings has gone through the same thing you're going through. The men talk us into it."

"Yeah," agreed Thelma, "they make our lives miserable until we do."

Thelma thought back on her first time. It was the days when Mike thought bridge games were exciting. They had been playing bridge with another couple who lived next door. It had become an every Wednesday event.

She had been piqued at Mike a few times because he told dirty jokes during the games and in fact was directing them at Eleanor rather than Dick. Thelma kept telling Mike how dull the games were and they should call a halt to them but Mike liked bridge and wanted to continue them. However, he promised he'd try to figure out something, to make the evenings more interesting.

So they finished an evening of bridge and Mike announced that he had borrowed a projector and stag film. Dick and Eleanor couldn't wait. Mike set up the projector and darkened the room and they settled down with drinks to watch a sailor seduce a chambermaid in a coal bin. Plenty of laughs and plenty of sex. The chick was built and running nude around a coal pile with the sailor, also nude now, it was pretty provocative.

After it was over Mike insisted on putting on an old sailor uniform and he chased Thelma around the room and everyone was laughing hysterically. To make it more realistic Thelma tossed off her dress and Mike got her on the couch and tried to get her bra off but couldn't so he got Dick to help.

With Thelma running around in just panties, Eleanor stripped to her panties and soon everyone was nude. Mike attacked Thelma on the floor and while he was doing it Eleanor was helping him.

It all fell into place and in time Mike was in a bedroom with Eleanor and Thelma on the floor of the living room with Dick.

So the bridge game became a weekly wife-swapping party and later they joined other parties.

Liz started in a different way. She and Natalie had been friends for years and would go shopping together once a week. One night Natalie was beat and decided to stay over.

Natalie couldn't sleep because Mitch's son who was a baby then kept crying. So Natalie got into the king-sized bed on Liz's side. There was a lot of talk and Mitch was feeling Natalie all over to her giggles and Liz was trying to quiet them. That's when Mitch suggested they call Irv over. He didn't need to be bribed.

So the four of them were in one bed. It just mutually happened that Mitch had an affair with Natalie and Irv had an affair with Liz. But that was quite a few years ago and Liz had done everything since then.

Both girls thought of that because Kathy looked so lost. She'd learn and she'd get hard to it all like they were. It was more or less fun and games for them now instead of thrills but they continued to do it.

Natalie was shouting, "When it comes to sex they're like kids in a candy store. The only trouble is their eyes are bigger than their tummies, if you know what I mean."

Liz laughed. "Everyone of them thinks he's the world's greatest stud. Yet any one of us could wear out the four of them without trying."

"But we don't tell them that," Natalie said. "The fact is we get more out of it than they do. Even the mar-rieds are fools in bed. They feel we're being nice when we cooperate in sex. And they appreciate it with gifts."

"You're so right," Thelma smiled. "It's the great conspiracy."

"You see," Natalie said to Kathy, "if they weren't giving presents to us they'd be giving them to some chippy. So why shouldn't we be nice?"

Kathy was bewildered. "But I enjoy sex as much as Dale does. If I didn't get it, I'd be heartbroken. Why should he give me gifts?"

"That's a mistake," Natalie said. "You got to make him think he's enjoying it a lot more than you are.

That's the only way you can make a marriage work for you."

Kathy frowned. "I want the marriage to work for us. I just want what Dale wants."

Natalie turned to Liz and said, "What can you do with her? She's so young. She'll learn but it will take time."

"Let me explain," Thelma said to Kathy. "If Dale gets the itch it's got to be scratched. If he doesn't go to orgies with you, he'll go with someone else. Which is better?"

"Yes," said Kathy, "but what if he likes one of the girls at one of those things. He could fall for her and then where would I be?"

Kathy looked bothered and worried.

Liz gave the honest answer, "That's a chance we all take, swingers and non-swingers alike. There's always some predatory broad around waiting to grab our guy. It's the gamble."

"If I could only be sure," Kathy responded.

Natalie said, "There are only three sure things in life: death, taxes and that your guy will look at other girls."

Mike and Mitch returned to the room in their happy coats. Natalie gave a wolf whistle. Mike struck a swishy pose. "Just ignore them Mitchy-poo," he swished. Mitch and Mike made eyes at each other then announced they'd stick to girls for the evening.

In the master bedroom Irv and Dale, business friends, were just completing dressing into their happy coats.

Dale was finished first and asked, "All set?" Irv said sarcastically, "You're a real eager beaver aren't you?"

Dale could hear the distaste in Irv's voice. He had led Irv to believe he and Kathy were swingers because for business reasons he wanted to meet the mob. The fact that he and Kathy weren't swingers had caused Irv embarrassment.

He tried to bluff it out. "There's nothing wrong with being eager is there? Frankly, I can't wait."

"It's like this," Irv said. "You're a liar and it's caused me embarrassment in front of my friends. I can't forgive lying."

"Why am I a liar?"

Irv got even more upset. "You know goddamn well why. Because of that big shot swinging masquerade."

Dale didn't want to get into a showdown. "Why worry about it?" He started for the door. "Before the end of the evening we'll be swingers."

Irv was angry. "You're wrong. Before the end of the evening you'll be a pimp. You're selling that sweet girl, Kathy, for business breaks. I know a panderer when I see one."

Dale reacted to that one. "Now wait a minute!" His face was flushed.

"I won't wait. I have it to say and I'll say it. You've made Kathy a whore."

Dale laughed nervously. "What a weird idea."

"Don't snow me. You're not the first guy I've seen ready to sell his wife to make points."

That riled Dale. He spoke up. "What about you? How many times did Natalie make it with Mitch before you got his account?"

Irv raised his hands. "I ought to slug you for that."

Dale, a perfect masculine specimen, said, "I'd think twice before trying it."