Chapter 3
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Lucy pressed her hands over her ears and continued to pace nervously around her bedroom, trying to block out the huckster's voice. She didn't want to hear it she thought miserably; the commercials on the radio were banal and meaningless, and the music was even worse. But she was afraid of the silence even more. If she shut off the radio the absence of sound would fill the whole room. Then, inevitably, she would hear her son moving in the adjoining bedroom, and she would be reminded of the whole thing again.
Her son. Lucy sighed unhappily and walked more quickly around the room. it was now late the next evening, just over a full day since her incestuous contact with Garry, and she had been miserable ever since. It had ended terribly. As soon as Garry had cum in her mouth all his old inhibitions had seemed to pour in on him at once; without saying a word he'd simply climbed out of the tub and left the bathroom, leaving his mother behind him. Lucy had hardly talked to him all day, and when she had it had been obvious that their sexual experience had upset him terribly. His expression had been haggard and miserable. He couldn't even look her in the eye for a second; he looked as if he didn't know who he hated more, his mother or himself.
And it was all her fault. Lucy moaned and hugged herself tightly as she passed the mirror feeling her fingers press into her bare arms through the sheer fabric of her robe. She couldn't remember the last she'd felt so utterly ashamed. Deep time down inside she knew that her motives for having sex with her son were completely pure; he was terribly frustrated, and she loved him; it was only natural that she should try to help him as best she could. But in retrospect she couldn't stop herself from wondering if that was the case at all. Maybe she wasn't so loving and caring; maybe she was just a horny middle-aged woman who would do anything to copulate with a teenage boy, including partaking in the forbidden pleasures of incest. Lucy shook her head and held her shoulders of incest. What was the difference, she thought miserably. That was what Garry thought of her; he'd probably hate her for the rest of his life.
"Oh God, " Lucy moaned. She sat suddenly on the edge of the bed and held her head in her hands, unconsciously mimicking her son's gesture in the bathtub. None of this would have happened if Daniel hadn't left her, she thought guiltily. It had been over a year since his departure, and she'd been alone ever since. Perhaps if he'd stayed their family life would have been more normal. Then she would have had a husband to care about, someone to love besides her only child. Maybe it would have been better ...
"Oh no," Lucy said. She stood up quickly from the bed and blinked her eyes, deliberately trying to clear her mind of the foolish thought. No, she reminded herself, no, that was ridiculous. Her husband Daniel had been a brutal, sadistic man She'd never wanted to marry him in the first place, but it had been her family's decision, and in hindsight she knew that going along with them had been the worst choice she'd ever made. In their seventeen years together Daniel had always treated her with an unfailing. sense of malice and hatred. Even his job had been bad, Lucy thought. Owning his own truck driving that big Kenworth day in and day out from one end of the country to the other, being away, from home for weeks at a time ... that was no kind of life for a husband and father. No, Lucy thought emphatically, no., no, no way at all. Daniel had even looked vicious. Six-foot three-inches in his stocking feet, 240 pounds of heavy muscle, would have been more a face and head that would have been more appropriate on a grizzly bear. Lucy could even remember several time been scared to look at him, when he'd been treating her kindly. No, she repeated to herself; she would just have to stop looking at the past through rose-colored glasses Daniel's departure had probably been the best thing that ever happened to her in her life. It was true that she had little money, that he'd left her almost without a penny to her name and a mortgage to keep up, but it didn't matter. Even being alone with Garry was better than being with him.
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Lucy walked hurriedly across the room and shut off the radio. Then she stood still and listened carefully. For a moment the, silence filled the bedroom completely. Then Lucy heard a faint stirring in her son's room, and she realized that Garry was still awake. A faint shudder ran down Lucy's spine, widening her eyes and curling her lips in an expression of mingled' dread and excitement. Then she turned and walked quickly out of her bedroom. She shut the door behind her, tightened the sash of the robe around her waist and walked the few steps to her son's bedroom door. Another shudder coursed through, her spine, and she felt her stomach churning with fear. But she ignored it. Luc y took a deep breath, raised her arm and lightly rapped on her son's door. It didn't matter, she thought bravely, it didn't matter if he stared at her with utter contempt the whole time she tried to talk to him. This, the wall between them now, was simply unbearable. She had to fight back her own feelings, her sense of embarrassment and guilt. She simply couldn't be alienated from her own son.
"What is it?" Garry's voice asked behind the door.
"Nothing special, darling," Lucy called back. She leaned towards the door and twisted the knob hopefully. "I heard you awake in there. I just thought we could talk for a while."
"Yeah, okay," Garry murmured.
Lucy's son's bedroom was the typical den of an American teenage boy. The floor was littered with heaps of clothing, and the walls and shelve s were cover ed with rock posters, rock albums, books on paranormal intelligence and a few souvenirs of his adolescence. The only part of the room that seemed well kept was his desk, which was devoid of schoolbooks or any other sign of homework. Lucy closed the door quietly ;behind her and padded into the room. Garry was sitting up in bed with a book folded across his lap, naked from the blankets up The only light in the bedroom was the bright glare of his bedside lamp. Half of his face was shadowed, but Lucy ..could see that her son's expression was worried and embarrassed and expectant, all at the same time.
"What are you reading, Garry?" Lucy asked nervously. She smiled and took a seat on the edge of the bed, next to his knees. "Maybe you're doing your, homework for once."
"It was nothing that fantastic," Garry replied. He folded the book and tossed it, onto the floor next to the bed.
"Oh," Lucy said softly.
There was a long pause. Lucy closed her eyes and turned her head, trying to summon up all her will power. Then she opened them again and stared meaningfully into her son's eyes.
"Garry, I suppose you know what I want to talk about, she said quietly.
Garry nodded his head and gulped.
"Maybe you thought to tell me how you feel about it first."
"Oh, I don't know," Garry muttered. He flushed and stared at the blankets. When he continued his voice was a barely discernible mutter. "I mean, Christ the whole thing is really weird. I don't know ... like I don't know how I'm supposed to react to it."
"Do you feel ashamed of what we did?" Lucy asked gently.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Can you tell me why?"
Gary shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, Mom, you know, what do you expect me to say?" he murmured wearily. "I mean, you know how it is. It's incest. That's a really heavy thing. If any body ever found out about it ... Jesus, I'd just be dead. I mean ..." Garry raised his eyes and looked at his mother openly. His expression was helpless and unhappy, as if she were the only person left he could turn to. "Maybe I can tell myself that there's nothing wrong with it, that it's just what everybody else thinks. But I still feel ashamed of it deep down. You know what I mean?"
Lucy nodded her head and smiled. "I know exactly what you mean, Garry.
And, darling, I hope you understand that I was sincerely trying to help you. I mean, honestly, you're such a handsome young man, and it's terrible that you should be so miserable and frustrated just because the girls in your school are acting so ridiculous. You really do need a sexual release, Garry; I meant what I said last night. It isn't healthy to repress yourself like that. Honestly , honey, I was only trying to help."
Garry chuckled dryly and stared at the blanket. "Yeah, that's great," he murmured. "My own mother feels so sorry for me that she has to go to bed with me."
"Oh, Garry!" Lucy exclaimed. She shook her head in exasperation and touched his arm in an effort to emphasize her meaning. "Oh, Garry, you've got it all wrong. I wasn't feeling sorry, for you like that. You've got a beautiful body, son. I mean,, how big your penis is and how easily you're sexually excited. There isn't a girl in the world who wouldn't be attracted to you."
"Yeah?" Gary said. He raised his eyes and looked at her hopefully. "You really mean that."
"Of course I do darling," Lucy said, smiling. "Last night you made me extremely sexually excited. Why, I'll bet I was even hornier than you were."
For a second Garry's expression opened completely, and he actually looked proud and happy. Then something seemed to catch in his face. Garry averted his eyes and stared at the floor. A flush emerged in his cheeks and spread crimson throughout his face. Lucy narrowed her eyes and studied her son quizzically, wondering at the sudden change in her mood. Finally she turned her head slightly and looked at her body. As she did so her throat thickened and her eyes widened; she felt a familiar sensation in her loins, a wanton tremor of arousal coursing through the pouting lips of her vagina. In the center of the bed., under the covers, there was an enormous bulge over her son's waist. Garry had a huge erection.
"Oh, Garry," Lucy sighed.
"I'm sorry, Mom," Garry murmured miserably. He shook his head and grimaced with embarrassment. "Like I said, I just can't, help it. I try but I can't. I'm sorry; Oh God, am I ever sorry!"
"Garry stop it," Lucy said firmly.
Garry stopped moaning and looked quizzically into his mother's eyes.
Lucy stared calmly back at him, waiting for him to quiet down. Then she reached across the bed and patted the bulge of his bloated organ through the blanket, as if welcoming its presence in the room.
"Darling, I'm going to have to ask you to do one favor for me," she said evenly. "I don't want you ever-to be ashamed or embarrassed about anything that happens between us again. I'm your mother, son. There isn't anything you could say or do that would make me love you any less. Do you understand that?"
Garry nodded his head.
"Good." Lucy paused and smiled lovingly into her son's eyes. "Now, if I ask you a question you'll be sure to give. me an honest answer, won't you?"
Garry nodded his head and gulped.
"Good. Now tell me the truth, darling. would you like to have sex with me?"
Garry hesitated only a moment. Then he nodded his head a third time and averted his eyes.
"That's what I thought," Lucy said ,softly. She paused a moment longer to hold her son's eyes, trying to tell him with her gaze alone how much she loved him. Then she stood up from the bed. Flushing slightly, she slowly began to undo the sash of her robe. "Well, you care have sex with me, Garry. And I want you to remember that we can keep on doing it as long as you like."