Chapter 2
It had all started ten years before, when she was only seven. Karen always remembered that time with a touch of embarrassment, because she had made a fuss about doing what she had since come to accept as so natural and so pleasurable. An act of love, and something that she so enjoyed doing for Daddy now. But then it seemed terrible to her seven-year-old mentality. As terrible as taking castor oil, and far worse than eating the breaded tomatoes that Mrs. Barker, the lady next door made up for them occasionally, and that Daddy always made her eat for her own good and out of politeness.
It was a Friday afternoon, and Karen had come home from school on the bus, as always. She ran up the walk to the house and saw Daddy sitting in his big chair. For the moment there were no patients in the house, and Karen was glad, because she loved it when she could have Daddy all to herself, especially because she wanted to ask him for something this day....
"Daddy!" she cried, filled with the bubbling happiness of a child, and ran to him, jumping onto his lap, and laughing. Daddy caught her in his arms and kissed her on the lips. She clung to him, loving the feel of his body close to hers, and the smells, all the mixtures of medicine and chemicals and tobacco that meant her daddy.
"How was school today, Princess?" he asked, cradling her in his arms, and making her feel happy and safe as always.
"Fine. Daddy, can I have a pair of white shoes with a matching purse?" she asked, the honesty of childhood not having given way as yet to the arts of womanhood.
Daddy laughed gently. "Now why do you want a pair of white shoes and matching purse?" he asked.
"Because Candy Laughlin has a pair of white shoes and a white purse, and so dies Linda Pilgrim, and Sandy Jameson, too."
"Well, I don't know, honey; we'll see," he said, looking at her closely, Karen smiled her biggest, warmest smile, the one that always worked if anything was going to work.
"Please, Daddy? Please, please, please? Pretty please?"
Daddy's smile broadened, and she knew he was going to say yes before he said it. "All right, Princess. We'll go down tomorrow and get them for you."
"Oh, Daddy, Daddy, thank you!" She threw her arms around his neck, bouncing up off his lap and clinging to him tightly. "I love you, I love you, Daddy, I love you more than anything!"
"Sure, as long as there are white shoes in the world." He said it jokingly, but there was a sting in the words for Karen. She couldn't see how he could doubt that she loved him. Daddy was everything to her, everything in the whole wide world. Her mother had died a long time ago, when she was born, and she had never known any love but the love she and Daddy shared with each other. She leaned back to look into his face to see if he was just joking or if he was really unhappy with her over the white shoes with the matching purse, because if he was, then she really didn't want them. And there were tears in her eyes when she looked at him, just little tears that made things look a bit blurry. But he had hurt her a little by what he had said. And he wasn't really smiling, like something was funny, but just smiling sadly, as if he really believed that she only loved him when he gave her something.
"Daddy, that's not true," she said, and her voice broke a little. She just couldn't help it. Daddy put his hand on the back of her neck and kissed her on the lips, lightly.
"It's all right, Princess. I guess it's normal for a little girl to be that way."
And that made her feel worse than she had before, worse and more guilty, and she buried her face in his chest and cried, and told him that it wasn't true, really, really not, she really loved him, and she didn't want any old darn shoes if it would make him think she didn't love him. "Do you really love me that much, Princess?" Daddy asked that question with a strange voice, different from ever before, and Karen felt an odd twisting sensation in her stomach, although she didn't know why.
"Yes," she said against his chest, her voice muffled by the white smock he was wearing.
"Would you like to do something for me then? Just to prove to me that you love me?"
"Oh, yes, Daddy!" she said eagerly, and drew back to look up into his face. She felt a flood of happiness at the thought that he was going to give her a chance to prove that she loved him. "I'll do anything!" This was the first time he had ever asked her to do something for him. Before, he always told her to do things that were for her own good, like eating all her dinner or picking up things in her room, but now she was going to do something just for him, and it made her feel things she had never felt before, all kinds of things she didn't really understand, but the biggest and most obvious thing it made her feel was happy.
"All right, Princess. Now this is something you've never done before, but it's something people do all the time, and if it seems strange or unpleasant to you, that can't be helped. It's something you'll get used to. That is, if you want to do it for me. I want you to know you don't have to. This is something people only do because they love other people, and want to make them feel good."
"I'll do it," she chirped eagerly. "Just tell me! Please, Daddy, please tell me!"
"All right, honey. You have to get down off my lap to do it." She got down and stood before him, looking into his face with eager anticipation. The mystery of this thing was intriguing. She couldn't imagine what kind of thing this was that she was going to do for her very own daddy, this thing that would prove how much she loved him, and make him feel good at the same time, but the thought of accomplishing those two goals at once made her tingle inside with anticipation. "Now, this is something that two people always do alone," Daddy said. "It's not something you let other people see you doing."
"Like going to the bathroom?"
"That's right, Princess. Like going to the bathroom. But we're going to do this thing right here in the front room, so you'll have to go put the sign in the window first, and lock the front door."
"Okay!" Karen loved whatever this was. It was like a new game, and the secret nature of it was the best part so far. She skipped to the front door, punched the button that locked it, then put the sign in the window. The sign said, The Doctor Is Out, and had a picture of a little doctor running to his car. When the sign was in the window, and she had looked to make sure that it was right side up and visible from outside, she came back to where Daddy was still sitting. There was something strange about him, and this was the first time she had noticed it. He was excited, and excited in a way she had never seen before. It was kind of scary, because Daddy had always been as solid and as unchanging, as dependable as the earth itself. But it was exciting, too, and she felt, in her child's way, that things were changing right this moment, that her relationship with her father was going to be different from this moment forward.
"Now, I want you to kneel down, Princess," Daddy said. "No, come closer first."
She stepped forward a step and a half, and knelt. Her chest was right up against the edge of the chair. Daddy's thick, strong thighs bracketed her body. She put her tiny hands on them for support, and liked the feeling of their hardness through the harsh wool of his pants. There was a big lump in the front of his pants, right in front of her face, and she found that interesting. Strange it was, and curious, something she had never seen before. "All right. Now pull down my zipper, Princess," Daddy said.
Karen felt herself flush with embarrassment. "Oh, Daddy! I can't-"
"You can do it when we're alone, honey. Unless I tell you not to. But remember, I told you before that you don't have to do this. It's just something to show you love me."
That reminded Karen of his doubts, and she knew she had to do what he wanted, just to prove how much she loved him. So she reached forward and took the zipper in her little fingers. It jammed, and she had to hold the pants steady while she did it. Her knuckles grazed the lump in his pants, and she found out that the lump was very hard, like the muscles in his arms, and she liked the feeling of it. Then the zipper was all the way down, and she could see the white of his shorts inside.
"I think you'd better open my pants at the top, too, honey. It'll make things easier." That seemed even more embarrassing, but Karen didn't want Daddy to think she didn't love him, so she reached up and opened his belt, then worked at the button, finally getting it open. The pants lay back, and she could see his shirt and his shorts where the pants had hidden them before. Actually, she liked what she had done so far. It was kind of nice, an intimacy she and her father had never shared before.
"All right now," Daddy said, "I want you to pull my shorts down, honey."
"Oh, Daddy! Please, that's-"
"Well, I told you, honey, you don't have to do any of this."
There was no reproach in Daddy's voice, but Karen thought she heard a note of disappointment, and disappointing Daddy was the worst thing she could imagine.
"Will you be mad at me if I don't?" she asked, not looking at his face.
"No, of course not, Princess."
That made it worse, somehow.
"I'll do it," she promised. She reached up and pulled at the elastic band, but his weight held the garment in place. "I can't," she whispered desperately. Daddy raised himself up off the chair a little bit; then she found that she could pull the shorts down all right. It wasn't easy, but she could do it. She finally got them down around his knees, and he sat down again.
She had seen her daddy naked many times. There had never been any attempt on his part to keep her from seeing what he looked like without his clothes. But that thing she had looked at with wonder and curiosity so many times had never looked like this before. It was bigger, more awesome, and stiff as iron, jutting right toward her face as he sat there. It had a fascination for Karen, though she didn't really know why. She stared at it for a long time, and Daddy didn't say anything. There were big purple veins in the thing; they seemed to be distended now, and throbbing. Finally, she realized how long she had been staring at it, and she got embarrassed. She looked up into Daddy's face, and he had that excited look she had noticed before, only now it was a hundred times more.
He reached out and took her right hand. He held onto her wrist and pulled the hand forward until she touched that big, throbbing thing, touched it with her fingers. It didn't feel bad, not at all. She liked the feel of it. It was hot, and it was a little scary to touch it, but she didn't want to stop. Daddy closed her hand around it, around the big knob on the front of it, and squeezed. He started to push her hand back and forth, and his eyes got all funny-looking, like they weren't focused, and he leaned his head back against the back of the chair and started to make funny moaning noises deep in his throat. It made her want to draw back at first, because she had never heard anything like that from anybody, and especially not from Daddy. But something told her that there was nothing wrong, that Daddy was making those noises because he felt good, not bad; then she caught on, or thought she did, to the new game. It made Daddy feel good to have her rub that big thing. Well, that was nothing. She'd do that a hundred times a day, if it would prove to him that she really loved him.
Daddy took his hand away from hers, and she stopped the rubbing. "Keep it up, Princess," he said softly, not looking at her but keeping his head back and his eyes closed. She started to do the rubbing all by herself then, and she was delighted when he started to make those deep sounds of pleasure again.
After a while she started to experiment. There was skin on the back part of the thing, skin that was loose, and she pushed it back. She wasn't sure of what she was supposed to do, but Daddy seemed to like it when she pushed it back, so she started to rub the bare shaft as she had the knob. He bit his lip, and she thought she had hurt him, but he told her to go on again, and she did.
Finally, he reached down and took her hand away. She looked up at him, afraid for a moment that she had offended him in some way.
"Now there's something else," he said. "But you might not love me enough to do that yet. You're only a little girl, and-"
"No, I do, I do!" she insisted. "What is it, Daddy?" It had proved to be so easy, proving to Daddy that she loved him. She wanted to know all the ways there were, all the ways to make him feel good, and to prove how much she loved her daddy.
"Well, all right," he said. "If you're sure, honey. I want you to lean forward now and kiss me. Kiss me right there," and he pointed to that big thing, that big, hard thing, and Karen couldn't. She just couldn't even imagine doing something like that, not even for Daddy.
"Oh, no, Daddy!" she cried. "Oh, no, please don't make me-"
"I'm not going to make you do it, honey," he said. "I told you, I'm not going to make you do anything. It's all up to you. You don't have to do anything for me that you don't want to do."
His voice was infinitely patient and loving and understanding, but there was that note of disappointment in it, and that note went through Karen's body like an exquisite silver barb, honed to a glittering point. She knew she had hurt Daddy, disappointed him, and she couldn't bear it.
It wasn't that she was afraid of losing her white shoes with the matching purse, either. Daddy never broke a promise to her, and she knew he wouldn't break his promise to buy her the shoes now. But she knew that the white shoes with the matching purse would be no good to her, that she'd never get any joy from them at all if she knew she had disappointed Daddy, that she hadn't measured up in his eyes in some way. She looked at that big shaft of flesh again, and it looked at awesome as ever. But if she had to kiss that thing to prove how much she loved her daddy, then she was going to do it. It wouldn't be easy, but she was going to make herself do it, and right now.
Quickly, like someone diving into a cold pool, she leaned forward and kissed the tip of the thing. It wasn't nearly as bad as she had thought it would be. She only grazed it with her closed lips. Then she looked up at Daddy eagerly, waiting for her reward of approval.
But Daddy only smiled that sad smile again, and she wanted to cry because she had failed, and he might really think she didn't love him, or at least not as much as she ought to.
So she didn't even say anything to him. She just screwed up her courage and leaned forward again. This time she kissed it longer, and she touched it with her tongue, as she did when she kissed him on the mouth, because he had taught her to kiss that way. And she just knew that if that was the right way to kiss on the mouth, then it must be the right way to kiss down there, too.
And it wasn't so bad. In fact it surprised Karen to find out that it wasn't bad at all. There was hardly any taste to it. And Daddy made a sound again, not the low, moaning sound, but a quick sucking sound, as his breath caught, and she knew she had pleased him, and she felt very happy. This was just as easy as the rubbing had been, and she would do it for him if he wanted her to. Anything to make her daddy happy with her.
She kissed it again, and again, and each time she could feel Daddy's body jerk a little, and she knew that she had pleased him.
"That's fine, Princess. But the next time, don't pull away. When your tongue is on me, just leave it there for a while."
That sounded icky, but she had promised herself that she was going to show Daddy she loved him, and so she would do whatever he wanted. She leaned forward again and kissed the thing, and this time she kept her tongue against it for a long time.
"Good. Good." Daddy's voice was tight, barely controlled. "Now lick it, honey. Lick it all over."
She had gotten into things far enough now that she didn't mind that. She had found that there was no taste, except just a little tang of fleshy taste, and she didn't mind that at all. And it was getting exciting, being able to make Daddy feel such intense things. She loved it. Her tiny tongue began to make a saliva track all over the tip of his cock, then up the shaft of it. She pushed the foreskin back as she had done before and licked it all the way up, then down again. Daddy's body shook with pleasure, tautened with it like a bowstring, and she enjoyed it all the more.
Gradually, he had her widen the range of her ministrations, until she began to lick his crotch and his scrotum, and she tasted the salty sweat, but that wasn't bad, either, after she got used to it.
"That's it, Princess," Daddy said tightly. "That's it, honey. Now keep that up. Keep it up. Keep it up." He was repeating himself, and she knew that he had begun to lose himself in the feelings she was giving him. She didn't know what this was all about, of course, but the thought of pleasing Daddy so much, of bringing him so much pleasure and satisfaction, was enough to make her feel all warm and tingly inside, and all over her skin. She loved him so much, and now he would know how much she loved him.
"All right, honey, now there's something else. Take it in your mouth. Take it in and move your lips over it, as well as your tongue."
She had to laugh at that idea. "Oh, Daddy! I can't get that big thing in my mouth!"
"Well, as much as you can, Princess," he said. "Hurry up now. Do it."
It was as close to a direct order as he had come, but she knew he was tense with the emotions running through him. She sensed that in the way of a child, not consciously thinking about it. She also knew that this was a way to please him all the more, and she did it without even thinking much about it. It was just a logical extension of the things she had done for him already.
She leaned forward once more and took the tip of the cock into her mouth. She felt a gag reflex for a moment, but she fought it down. Then she took more of the organ into her mouth, until she had the whole head of it inside. She began to lick it again, and to move her lips over it, and she found out that Daddy really liked that part. She worked her lips more and more, and she discovered that the tighter she made them, the more he liked it when she moved them, so she drew them in over the edges of her teeth and that made it easier to keep them really tight. She moved her head back and forth, moving it slowly at first, then faster. Her neck got tired, but she didn't let that slow her down. She just kept moving faster and faster.
Daddy was really making a lot of noise now, and she knew he liked what she was doing, and she did it all the faster, and all the harder, and Daddy's hands clamped on the arms of the chair, and his whole body shook. "Uh! Uh!" He was almost screaming now, and she knew that it was with pleasure, though she had never heard such sounds before
"Uh! Oh, Jesus! Oh, Christ!" His whole body shook with delight, and he threw his head back and twisted it, and she felt a flood of happiness that was like nothing she had ever known before. She worked hard on him, trying to do everything right, even if this was the very first time.
She tasted a change in his cock, and she didn't know just what it was. But she didn't let it scare her. She had decided that this was a nice thing, and she wanted to do it for her daddy. And she knew that he wouldn't let her do anything that could hurt her. So she kept on, even working a little harder. Then his cock began to move and whip, and she had to hold onto it all the harder. And he was really thrashing around now, his body moving back and forth in the chair until he almost pulled the prick from her mouth.
But Karen didn't let it get away from her. It was hard to keep up, because she was small, and she had to move a lot to keep that thing in her mouth, and in her hands, but she didn't let it get away. She was determined, and even when she felt pain a few times, she didn't let that slow her down. It was proof that she loved him, and she would let it hurt if she had to. She loved her daddy; she really did.
Then something shot out of his cock, something with a harsh and bitter taste, and she jerked back from the taste of it, and the surprise. It was really a terrible-tasting stuff.
Daddy reached down and grabbed her head in both his hands. He yanked her forward, hurting her with his roughness, although even as it happened Karen had the feeling that he was trying to be gentle with her, but that whatever this was that was happening to him, it had robbed him of control. She felt the cock press against her lips, and automatically she opened her mouth and accepted it. The stuff was still shooting, though a lot of it had gotten on Daddy's pants and the front of her dress, and all over her face. It was sticky, but she didn't mind; she didn't mind if Daddy wanted her to have it there, or even in her mouth.
The stuff was bitter and alkaline-tasting, but she swallowed it, because that seemed to be what Daddy wanted her to do, and because she really had no choice. Some of it boiled over, dribbling down over her lower lip and her chin, to drop onto the chair, but she swallowed most of it. The cock was jammed into her mouth so hard she gagged a little, but she fought that down, too. Daddy seemed to be having a fit or something, and she thought it was really funny that he liked something that made him act this way. But if he did like it, then she wasn't going to mind doing it for him. She had learned a lot about love in the past minutes, she knew. She had learned that she could do anything, just anything at all, and love doing it, if her daddy wanted her to do it.
When it was all over she knelt in front of him, leaning against the chair, all tired out, but happy, because she was almost positive she had pleased him at last. And when he finally looked down at her, she knew from his smile that she had been right.
He pulled her up onto his lap, and she leaned against him. She could hear his heartbeat, strong and steady and reassuring, slow down from the minutes before. He held her close, and she felt a flood of love such as she had never known in her whole seven years of life. She had thought, before, that she had loved him, but now she knew that love had dimensions she had never even dreamed of. Her daddy was everything to her. He would always be everything to her.
"I love you, Daddy," she murmured, and he squeezed her gently.
"I love you, too, Princess," he said. Then his voice became a little more business-like, almost stern. "I want to tell you about what you just did, honey. It's a perfectly natural thing, but as I told you before, it's something you never do in front of people. And you never talk about it in front of other people, either. Never. Understand?"
"Uh-huh. Like going to the bathroom."
"Only a lot more so. If you ever mention this in front of other people, even a hint of it, they'll hate you. They'll hate you forever, because you mentioned it. And they'll think I'm a terrible father for not teaching you good manners. You don't want that, do you?"
"Oh, no, Daddy."
"Good. Then remember, you just pretend that you never heard of this. No one will ever hear about it from either of us. We'll treat it like a secret. Most little girls your age don't even do it. They have to wait until they're a lot older. But you'll be way ahead of them."
That made her feel good. She was way ahead of all the other little girls.
"There are other ways to do something like this," Daddy said. "But you're not old enough for those ways yet."
"Yes, I am, yes, I am," she pleaded. "Let me try, Daddy. Please let me try. Tell me how-"
"No, honey, you're not old enough," Daddy said more firmly. "You'd hurt yourself."
"When will I be old enough?"
"I don't know, Princess.. Not for a long time yet."
She almost cried with frustration then. But Daddy was smiling.
"Don't worry, honey. The way you just did it is very nice, and you can do that for me until you're old enough for the other ways. Then I'll let you do those things, too."
She felt a flood of happy anticipation.
"Promise, Daddy?" she asked eagerly.
"Promise."