Chapter 15
A chilling finger of night air tickled its way over Toni's cheek, down her neck and across her naked breast. In her sleep, she moved towards the warmth and protection beneath the blanket. Her limbs were sore. The last of her energy had spent itself hours ago. All she wanted was sleep.
A heavy hand on her thigh disturbed her. Toni tried to roll away from the source of irritation. She couldn't escape. Strong arms wrapped themselves around her. Heavy legs imprisoned her body between them. She felt herself approaching the surface of consciousness, against her will.
Again she tried to escape, and for a moment she thought she was safe on the far side of the bed. Smiling, she pressed her head further down into the pillow and tried to drift back toward sleep. The hand would not let her rest. It moved slowly, silently over the curve of her hip, down past the smoothness of her stomach and grabbed....
Toni bolted upright and stared stupidly into the darkness. Her body had responded but her mind wasn't completely awake. She fought not to lose her balance and fall backward. The aftertaste of liquor formed a paste on her swollen tongue.
And the hand returned. It reached up, encircled her breast and closed. The pain brought her to sudden awareness. "Get the hell away from me!"
A laugh rose to meet and mock her fury. A man's laugh. A cruel laugh. And suddenly, she remembered everything.
"Come on, baby, it's me," Elliot said, still chuckling. "How about an encore?"
"Go to hell." Toni dragged her legs over the side of the bed and gathered the strength to stand.
Thick fingers bit into the skin around her waist and tugged her backward. Toni's arms flailed the air and before she knew what was happening, Elliot's mouth was grinding down against her own.
Toni balled her fingers into a fist, and struck at his face. Her hand connected and she heard Elliot's pain-ridden curse. Instantly, she was off the bed and across the room.
"What's the matter with you?" Elliot sat in the bed, rubbing his cheek when Toni turned on the light. "You have a nightmare, or something?"
Toni hurried to the closet for a robe to cover her nakedness. Then, without answering, she glanced at the clock on the night table. Ten forty-five. It was over. She had done what she'd set out to do. And now, she had to get Elliot out of the house before Stan came home.
"It's late," Toni announced. "I think you'd better get dressed and get out of here."
Elliot looked over at the clock. Toni watched, exhilarated, as the color drained from his face. "Oh, my God!" Elliot looked frantically around the room and gibbered inaudibly.
Toni leaned against the wall to observe his misery.
Now the bastard was getting what he deserved, she thought. Good for him!
"Why didn't you tell me?" Elliot snarled, searching wildly for his clothing.
Toni turned and walked out of the room. Despite the exhaustion that tugged at her limbs, she hadn't felt as good in months. And the best was yet to come. She locked the bathroom door just as Elliot's footsteps started down the hall.
"Let me in there," he called from the other side. "I've got to get out of here."
"In a few minutes." Toni wished she had more time to play with him-to watch him squirm in an agony of her making. "I want to comb my hair."
"The devil with your hair!" Elliot's voice grew louder in the hall. "Do you realize what's happened?"
"No." Toni covered her laugh with her palm. "What's happened?"
"I slept right through the show, dammit." Elliot spat. "There probably isn't anybody left in the studio."
"Is that so?" Toni answered innocently. "You don't say."
The silence on the other side of the door told Toni that Elliot had just put two and two together. Her glee turned quickly to fear.
"Come out of there," Elliot growled. "Right now."
"The hell I will." Toni heard the quake in her own voice and looked over to make sure the door was locked. "You've had your fun, mister. Now I'll have mine."
"You little bitch. God help you if I ever...."
"Shut your mouth," Toni hissed. "You're not holding the reins any more, mister. The game's over."
Toni listened in breathless silence as Elliot walked down to the other end of the hall. And then, there was no sound at all.
She knew better than to think he'd left. Toni turned on the warm water and washed her face slowly. She needed a few moments to calm down. Then she would figure out a way to get rid of Elliot and end the evening without any more trouble.
She ran a brush through her long hair and waited for the pounding inside her chest to subside. She shouldn't have said anything to Elliot, she knew. His temper was not a thing to be toyed with. She turned and walked to the door. Still trembling, she pressed her ear against the wood and listened.
Silence.
"Elliot?" she called softly.
"You coming out?" His voice came from the other end of the hall.
Toni decided that he sounded calmer. She began to feel better. "Do you still want to get into the bathroom?" She made her tone sweet.
"I'm not waiting for a streetcar." He sounded impatient again.
Toni took a deep breath as she realized that she couldn't keep herself locked up in the bathroom all night. Slowly, she turned the lock and opened the door. To her relief and surprise, Elliot didn't come charging through. She stepped cautiously out into the hall.
His slap caught her on the side of the head and sent her staggering across the hall. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come.
"You did it on purpose, didn't you?" Elliot's voice was trembling with hate.
She stared, wide-eyed as he stepped toward her.
"Didn't you?" Elliot pressed his face up close to hers and screamed at her.
Toni shook her head, yes. She knew she had pronounced her own doom. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Elliot's hand raise upward. "No...."
His fingers wound themselves deeply into her hair and held on tight. Tears of pain clouded her vision and she whimpered softly.
Elliot just stared at her for a long time, breathing heavily. Then as if he was realizing for the first time what she had done, he yanked her head back with one hand and slapped her hard across the face with the other.
Toni's knees buckled under her and she began to fall. But he caught her and pulled her back to her feet. From far away, she heard him screaming at her, accusing her, cursing her....
Tramp! Slut! No good....
The words stabbed and stung. Toni shook her head, no. It wasn't true, all those things that Elliot was saying. Feebly, she attempted to deny what he was insisting to be so....
"The hell you didn't enjoy it," he roared. Then he pulled her across the hall and into the bathroom.
She didn't have the energy to even attempt to fight him off. He pinned her against the wall and ripped open the front of her bathrobe. She knew he was staring at her nakedness, savoring the sight of her exposed, tormented flesh. She didn't know what he was going to do, but somehow, it didn't matter. Whatever it was, she didn't have the capacity to feel, anymore. He couldn't hurt her. She was numb.
But when Elliot moved again, his touch was gentle, provocative. Toni raised her arm to push him away, and Elliot brushed it aside. It fell with the weight of marble. And the room began to spin.
Toni hated herself for what was happening. She didn't know where the energy had come from, but her body seemed to have caught a second wind. It moved, slowly, rhythmically in time to Elliot's command. She heard him laughing. And then her own gasping helped to thicken the air.
"Tell me you didn't have fun," Elliot challenged, his hot breath whistling past her ear.
Toni opened her mouth and drew air down to her parched throat. She felt as if she must be losing her mind. The man who was affecting her at that moment was the individual whom she hated most in the world. And still, she couldn't remain indifferent to his touch.
A spasmodic twitching began, deep down in her belly. She raised herself up onto the balls of her feet as the sensation intensified and spread through her trembling body. She called out to him, telling him what to do, telling him how close she was to completion.
And then, laughing, he walked out of the room, leaving her shivering and unfulfilled.
She ran to the sink and flung herself over it. Her in-sides lurched and twisted. For what seemed like hours she remained in that position, spilling the frustration and the sickness out of her, wishing she could die.
And then, it was calm and very, very quiet. Toni heard the front door slam. "No!" she screamed. "Come back here, you bastard. Come back here and....
The look of horrified surprise on her husband's face turned her to stone.
When she could move again, Toni reached for the edges of her robe and tied it closed in front of her.
"What the hell's been going on here?" Stan's face was grey, his voice hardly more than a croak.
Toni felt the lump grow in her throat. It began to choke her.
"I passed Elliot's car at the end of the block," Stan said. "Was he coming from this house?"
Tom nodded. It didn't matter anymore if Stan knew. It didn't matter anymore what he thought of her. She could spend his money, even if they weren't the best of friends.
Without another word he turned and walked to the bar. Toni watched him pour a tumbler full of scotch.
"It's not the way you think...." Toni began, walking slowly across the rug.
Stan emptied his glass and gagged. Then he walked to the kitchen and chased the liquor with a glass of water.
"There was a good reason," she whined, stepping up close behind him. "I had to."
Stan turned around, very slowly. His eyes had become slits and his jaw seemed locked in place. Toni stood absolutely still as he looked her over from top to toe. She saw the hurt shape itself on his face as he looked at a bruise on her neck-at the gaping hole where Elliot had torn her robe.
"And for this, I was willing to give up everything."
She heard Stan's words, but she didn't know what he was talking about. He'd never given up anything in his life for her. Everything he had was because of her. How could he say that?
"You're not making sense, Stan." Toni searched his face for some clue, some hint of what was behind this strange reaction of his.
"Yes, I'm making sense," he whispered, hoarsely. "Now I'm making sense." He walked past her toward the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" Toni stood in the doorway and watched Stan pull a valise out of his closet. "Where are you going at this time of night?"
Stan refused to answer. He began to pack. Quickly.
Toni ran over to the bed. She saw the shirts and underwear piling up in the valise. She moved to unpack them. Stan pushed her away.
"You can't just run out in the middle of the night." Toni knew her protest was weak. She was losing ground. "What if somebody sees you?"
Stan turned around and stared levelly at her and she felt herself crumble before him.
She would not have it. "You just listen to me, Stan."
Toni pitched her voice high and harsh. He wouldn't dare ignore her now. "We'll talk about this when you're calm. There's no reason for you to leave."
"Get out of my way, please." Stan walked past her to his dresser. He began choosing sweaters to take with him.
"Look, I had to do it," Toni spoke rapidly. She knew there wasn't much time left. "It meant getting you his job. Keeping Elliot out of the studio was the only way...."
Stan's eyes widened in momentary disbelief. Then Toni saw him assimilate the facts and gain momentum from them. He moved back to where his valise lay on the bed.
The fear combined with her anger and set her back in motion. She hurried to the bed and pulled his arms away from the clothing. "You're not going," she announced dryly. Maybe she could fake her way out of it.
"This time you're wrong." His words were soft, even.
"What's the matter with you?" she screamed at him. "Don't you realize what I've done for you? You're going to have Elliot's job. A big salary. Everything you've always wanted."
"No." Stan shook his head. "Everything you've always wanted. Count me out."
"Are you crazy?" Toni fought to understand his reasoning. "This is the big break. You're on top now."
He snapped the lid of his valise closed and pulled the bag off the bed. It fell on the floor with a resounding thump. "There won't be any job," he announced, shaking his head slowly. "I'm leaving the company first thing in the morning."
"Sure you are." Toni nodded in disgust. "And just what do you intend to do, retire?"
Stan looked directly at her, but he didn't seem to see Toni at all. "No, I'll probably go back to painting canvasses."
"I won't let you."
Stan's eyes seemed to snap back into focus and then grow sad. "There's nothing you can do to stop me," he said.
Toni watched him square his shoulders and stride out of the room. The man was losing his mind, she told herself. Probably the shock of finding out about Elliot. "Wait a minute, Stan," she called, making her voice gender, as she ran after him.
Stan was in the living room, taking a cigarette out of the box on the coffee table. She halted abruptly in the doorway. The situation obviously required a little more tact, she told herself. "Why don't you at least wait until morning, before you go?" She humored him.
"There's nothing to wait for," he answered, his back still toward her.
She leaned against the doorframe and decided to put him on the defensive. Anything to stall for time until he simmered down. At least he was talking to her. That was something of an encouragement. "The way you're running, I could almost believe you've got another woman waiting for you."
"You're right. I do." His voice was crisp and clear now, as if someone had suddenly injected a shot of adrenalin into his spirit. "I have another woman waiting for me."
She didn't believe him, but she knew this was no time to quibble. She felt the panic taking hold of her. She knew she must use everything at her disposal to keep him there-to hold onto him until he was receptive again.
And so she cried. The way she had cried so many times before when Stan had given her a hard time ... or tried to.
"Cut that out," he ordered. "It won't do you any good."
Toni felt herself slipping backward again. She was frantic. Without allowing herself to concede to the signs of failure around her, she pushed herself forward ... right into Stan's arms.
"Please let me get out of here." Stan's voice cracked slightly. "I don't want you to make a scene."
"Please ... don't do this to me," she begged, wrapping her arms around his neck and locking her fingers together for insurance. "Don't leave me here by myself."
"You'll do fine," he said above her.
Toni closed her eyes and tried to think. Even if Stan really did have another woman ... so what? She could hold him here, if he let her get at him. She knew all the tricks-everything a man liked. Elliot had taught her plenty. And Stan couldn't be so much different. Men were men.
She pulled his head down and made him kiss her. She felt the indifference on his lips, in his rigid posture. It inspired her. For the first time in years, she truly wanted to make love to her husband. To seduce him, and make him forget that other women even existed....
She rubbed her breasts slowly across his chest and slid her tongue into his mouth.
Stan tensed and tried to pull himself away. Toni held on tight, and pressed her hips up close. The slow, sensual undulations of her belly sent a tremor of excitement through his body. Toni felt it. It wasn't too late after all. She could still overcome his will with her body.
She reached down and ran the tips of her fingers up against the hardness of Stan's thigh. She felt his leg twitch at the contact. She moved still higher. She remembered what Elliot liked her to do and she did it to Stan.
Stan began to sway slowly, back and forth. She felt his fingers travel reluctantly to the small of her back. Then they moved downward, over her hips. The material of her robe slid upward as his palms rubbed over her naked flesh....
Toni reached for the buckle of his belt. She knew what she must do, and it revolted her. And yet, she continued to fumble with the clasp. Stan would stay with her. He would always stay with her. It was foolish of him even to think of leaving....
"Please Toni ... don't." Stan's voice was scratchy. He bit the lobe of her ear, panting.
"Come on, you know you want me to," she purred, beginning to undress him.
Stan moaned softly and tried to stop her. She continued with her movements, despite his weak protests. He was hooked. Forever and forever. She could have laughed.
His gasp pierced the air. Toni smiled confidently and massaged his flesh. He was yielding. He disgusted her. Stan didn't know it, but she was really doing him a favor by letting him remain with her. Not the other way around.
"Toni ... Toni...."
His voice trailed off as she found his mouth and covered it with her own. She reached for his hand and placed it on her naked breast. Now she felt better. With his flesh on her own, the desire returned and grew stronger-even stronger than it had been with Elliot.
Soon, Toni told herself as she guided his mouth to her throbbing nipple. Soon, she would satisfy with Stan, the need that Elliot had sparked in her. She would make Stan do everything that she had learned to enjoy. She would make her husband a slave to her body. And then they would both be happy.
"Come over here ... sit down on the couch and watch me," Toni whispered, taking his hand and leading him across the room.
As if in mesmerized silence, Stan sat and watched Toni move. She ran her tongue over her lips and pulled open the sash on her robe. Slowly, she let the garment fall open, revealing her naked flesh, warm and eager, beneath.
She stopped and posed, the way Elliot had taught her. She saw Stan's mouth fall open at the sight of her, willing and unashamed. Very good, she told herself. Stan was getting heated up. Soon, he'd race across the room, wild to possess her.
She let the robe fall to the rug.
"Don't you like my body, lover?" she crooned, bending over and allowing her breasts to hang, unhidden from his sight. She remembered what Elliot had liked and she moved to recreate the cause of his desire. Long crimson fingernails played with the dark points of her breasts. She swayed back and forth, sighing with self-inflicted pleasure, beckoning with her body for Stan to partake of its treasure....
Stan got up off the couch.
Toni smiled liquidly. She had been right, after all. He was no better than Elliot ... than any other man.
She watched him walk across the room ... And out to the front door.
"What's the matter? Come back here!" Toni called to him. Her voice was an agonized shriek.
Stan looked at her and then picked up his valise. "You're disgusting," was all he said, before he left.
Toni fell onto the sofa, a crumpled heap of churning flesh. She felt her hand sliding over her own body, but she couldn't stop it. Slowly, she stretched herself out along the sofa.
It was no good. She knew it wouldn't work. Being alone was worse than....
With trembling fingers, she reached over to the phone and dialed Eva Stillwell's number....