Chapter 14
It had taken two solid hours of cleaning and polishing, but the apartment sparkled. Jo Ann tossed the dust rag into a closet, removed her apron and turned around to view her work.
It was perfect. She had been right about the red slip cover. It picked up the color of the curtains and filled the room with cheerfulness, despite the fact that she had made it herself. The new brass ashtrays gleamed on End tables and the highly polished floor reflected the light from the ceiling fixture. And best of all, the room looked as though it belonged to somebody who was happy there.
And why not, Jo Ann asked herself. The past two weeks had been the happiest she could remember since she had come to New York. She had found a job and next month's rent was safely tucked in the bank. And to night, he was coming to dinner.
A tingle of nervousness played with her fingers and made them tremble. Jo Ann closed the closet door, reminding herself for the tenth time today that she mustn't be panicky. Either it would work or it wouldn't. The situation was simple and the result could only be a yes or a no. A few more hours and she would have the answer.
The smell of fried chicken floated over from the stove. Jo Ann hurried toward it, trying to remember where she had put the recipe for Hollandaise sauce that she had cut out of a magazine.
Seven-thirty. Only half an hour more to wait. Jo Ann removed the chicken from the frying pan and placed it in a baking dish in the oven to keep warm. She had known when she began that it was too early to start cooking. But her mood required that she keep her mind and her hands occupied each moment. For a moment's idleness, she knew, was all the time she would need to get scared again and perhaps call the whole thing off.
Jo Ann walked into the bathroom and faced herself in the mirror. She had showered twice, eager to be spotless and sweet-smelling when he arrived. Would he like her, she wondered again, inspecting what looked like a blemish in the glass. No, her skin was perfect. And the rest of her was in good shape, too. If only everything went well...
The sound of electricity crackled through her hair as Jo Ann brushed the soft waves into place. Pulling off her blue print housecoat, she glanced at her body before reaching for her make-up. Nothing had changed, Jo Ann was glad to notice. The soft lacy material of her bra veiled her milk white breasts and made them look untouched. The pink panties clung to her hips and molded the tight roundness of her buttocks. The smooth, pliant body of a young girl, Jo Ann thought ... a girl ready to become a woman.
Jo Ann finished putting on her make-up and walked back into the other room to dress, humming softly as she walked. Reaching into her dresser drawer, she pulled out a kelly green sweater. Then she hurried to the closet for a black skirt.
The outfit was young, she knew, but tonight she felt young. Young, fresh and revitalized. The stigma was just about gone, Jo Ann told herself, pulling on the sweater. For two weeks, she hadn't heard a word from Laura nor had she sought any. It was over. A new time in her life was beginning ... if tonight went as she planned.
The black skirt flared out in little box pleats around her hips. Jo Ann whirled in front of the full-length mirror, pleased at the thin figure she saw. For two weeks, that body had gone untouched. For two weeks, she had concentrated on nothing but getting her apartment and her brain in order. And soon she would reap her reward.
The sauce thickened as Jo Ann added the flour and mixed it with the rest of the ingredients. It was a nice feeling, cooking for a man, she told herself, adding a few extra drops of cream. Up until now, everything she had done for him had gone well. Their relationship had been light hearted and completely enjoyable ... as far as it went. Tonight, the final step.
Jo Ann leaned against the refrigerator and allowed herself a few moments of pleasant reflection. He had been so nice since she had taken the apartment. So helpful. She shouldn't really be concerned about how he would be to love.
First, he had helped her find that job with the employment agency. Then he had taken her shopping for house wares and everything else she wanted to buy. Dinner one night ... dancing last weekend. If anyone deserved her attentions, he was the one.
The sound of the doorbell jolted Jo Ann to rigid alertness. Her insides shook as an immediate urge to run and hide lunged forth to overwhelm her.
No!
Jo Ann forced herself stiffly forward. It was time to conquer or be swept under forever. Tonight ... now. She must do it.
"For you." Charlie stood grinning in the doorway and pushed the dozen roses toward Jo Ann. "They'll go with the new slip covers."
Jo Ann kissed him on the cheek and stepped back to let him in. "I don't even think I have a vase for them," she said, trying to remember if there was an empty milk bottle anyplace in the apartment.
"How about in there?" Charlie pointed to the new ice bucket Jo Ann had bought the previous week.
"Good boy." Jo Ann winked approvingly and hurried to fill the bucket with water. She glanced down at the flowers and smelled them. There was no card. She decided not to let it bother her.
"Something smells good." Charlie sniffed in the direction of the stove.
"Oh, no you don't." Jo Ann quickly blocked his path and reached for his coat. "You can wait another five minutes, can't you?"
"I'll do my best." Charlie walked back toward the sofa. "How about a drink in the meantime?"
"You know where the liquor is," Jo Ann called from the closet. "Fix me one, too, will you?"
"Can you hold your liquor?"
"You know I can't."
"Good," Charlie chuckled. "Then I'll make it a double."
Jo Ann forced herself to concentrate on the final preparations for dinner and not to look at Charlie. A flurry of excitement twitched through her body and threatened to make her drop the bowl she was holding. Mustn't think about it now, Jo Ann told herself. There would be plenty of time after dinner.
"Here you are." A hand appeared from behind her holding a glass. "You want soda?"
"No thanks." Jo Ann took the drink and set it on the sink. "If I'm going to get sick, I might as well do it right."
"That's the spirit." Charlie turned her around and picked up her glass. "But don't make me drink alone, for heaven's sake."
They both laughed. Jo Ann raised her glass to her lips and took a sip. No, tonight she wouldn't be drunk, she told herself. With Charlie, there would be no need to be. And if it was going to be good, she wanted to be right there to enjoy it all.
"So how was your day?" Jo Ann preferred small talk to thought.
"Not bad," Charlie answered from the sofa. "I got a phone call from Laura, though."
Jo Ann felt the color drain from her cheeks. She was glad that she wasn't facing him. "What did she have to say?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
"She asked about you, if that's what you mean." Charlie's tone remained light and unconcerned.
"And what did you tell her?"
"That you were fine. What else?"
Jo Ann sighed softly and took another sip of scotch. "How is she doing?" she finally asked in a small voice.
"Seems she lost her job, too," Charlie said between mouthfuls of potato chips. "Something about a run-in with a guy named Stan something-or-other."
"Stan Wyatt?" Jo Ann turned quickly to face Charlie.
"Yeah, that's the one."
"What did they fight about?" Jo Ann knew what the answer would be and hoped that she might be wrong.
Charlie remained silent for a few moments. "Do I really have to tell you?"
"No." Jo Ann's voice was hardly more than a tense whisper. "I know."
"So let's drop it."
"But what's Laura going to do without a job?" Jo Ann's concern was sincere. "She's got an apartment to support and..."
"Nothing to worry about on that score," Charlie said, refilling his glass. "She's got some dame that's keeping her."
"Keeping her?"
"Yeah, the name's Leslie ... the one she went off with at the party that night."
Jo Ann didn't try to suppress an amused chuckle. Figures, she thought. The two of them deserved each other. "Is Laura happy, at least?"
"As happy as she's going to be for awhile. Give her a month."
"Is that the deadline?" Jo Ann asked, suddenly feeling much better.
"Usually." Charlie stood up. "Come on now. Are we going to gab all night or are you going to feed me."
"It's ready now." Jo Ann smiled. "Just pull up a chair."
The aroma of hot coffee hovered about the room as Jo Ann and Charlie sat side by side on the couch, sipping from their cups. Too full almost to move, they relaxed quietly, each enjoying the awareness of the other's closeness without the need for words.
Finally, Charlie leaned over and nodded. "That was good." His voice was soft, his manner contented.
Jo Ann smiled and leaned happily against his shoulder. There were so many things she wanted to say to him ... so many questions that she needed answers to. But she couldn't speak. Conversation could wait until later. For now, all she wanted was to have him beside her to emanate strength and inspiration for the hours yet to come.
"Do you think Laura hates me?" she asked suddenly. "Why should she."
"Because I left her."
Charlie leaned over and kissed Jo Ann's hair. "I think she knows you wouldn't have stayed very much longer anyway."
Jo Ann's eyes widened with surprise as she faced Charlie. She had never spoken to him about her feelings for Laura or for women. Yet he seemed to know what was happening inside her. He seemed to sense that she was different from the other women Laura had known and lived with.
"I didn't mean to make her angry," Jo Ann murmured, leaning back to rest against Charlie's shoulder. "I really thought..."
"Let's not talk about it. It's finished. Laura will be fine."
"I wish I could say the same for myself," Jo Ann thought aloud.
"What prompted that?" Charlie sounded slightly surprised. "You seem pretty well set up here."
"Oh, I don't know." Jo Ann took a deep drag on her cigarette and exhaled loudly. "Things have a way of running away from me. Almost as though I don't know where I'm headed."
Charlie didn't comment. Instead, he slid his arm around Jo Ann's shoulder and squeezed it affectionately.
Jo Ann put down her cigarette and wondered how to begin. The time had come, she knew. Dinner was over and the mood was mellow. She should do something ... say something, to let Charlie know what she wanted.
No words would come.
"What are you thinking about so hard?" Charlie asked. Jo Ann rubbed her cheek against the starched material of his white shirt and shrugged. "You mostly, I guess."
"How nice." Charlie's voice was sprightly. "Good thoughts, I hope."
"Very good thoughts," Jo Ann murmured and moved a little closer to him.
"You mind if I ask a personal question?" Charlie suddenly sounded serious.
"No, not really." Jo Ann wondered what was coming next.
"I just wanted to know," Charlie began, "if you're going to be able to get along without..."
"A woman?" Jo Ann made the question easier for him. "Yes."
"What do you think?" Jo Ann turned around to face Charlie's now uncomfortable expression.
"I haven't let myself think about it very much," he said, grinning sheepishly. "I know we've had a lot of laughs these past couple of weeks and all. But still..."
"You don't have to say it." Jo Ann felt the barrier of distrust growing up between them. "I know what you're thinking." She moved a few inches away across the sofa.
"Now don't start acting like she does," Charlie's tone grew authoritative. "I'm not thinking anything. I just asked a simple question. Don't you think I have a right to know?"
"I suppose." Jo Ann felt her momentary flash of anger subside and she moved back toward him. "I have no answer for you, though," she said, feeling a sudden need to be completely honest with Charlie. "Men have always been somewhat of a problem to me."
"Well, haven't you ... I mean, didn't you..." Charlie colored and looked away.
"Only once." Jo Ann couldn't help the ice that froze her words as she thought about that night in the park.
"And that was with a whole bunch of guys who weren't asking permission."
Charlie looked as though he were about to be ill. "I'm sorry." His voice was very soft. "I didn't mean to..."
"That's quite all right." Jo Ann was amazed by the evenness of her tone. It had happened and that was that. Why get hysterical over it. "I've survived the incident."
Charlie's half-smile was laden with embarrassment and he hurried back to his cup of coffee.
Jo Ann stared unseeing at the cafe curtains on the window above her. The evening was threatening to peter out unless she did something, she knew. But what was there to do? A girl just doesn't ask a guy to take her to bed to see if she'll like it.
"Would you like to go out to a movie or something?" Charlie sounded desperate to break the silence that had lengthened between them.
"No thanks," Jo Ann said bluntly. "I'd much rather stay here with you."
Charlie looked at her strangely for a moment. Then he took her into his arms and leaned down toward her face.
Jo Ann tasted the kiss and savored its flavor. The pleasant reaction she was experiencing pleased her. She thought about what it was like kissing Stan ... the roughness ... the almost cruel persistence of his hungry lips. Charlie was different. He was gentle. Jo Ann had nothing to be afraid of with him.
"Was it so terrible?" Charlie asked above her, seeming to read her thoughts.
"Not terrible at all," Jo Ann whispered. "In fact, very nice."
"Then how about another one?"
Jo Ann nodded and closed her eyes. Willingly, she parted her lips under the pressure of his mouth. She felt Charlie sliding down beside her on the sofa, but she didn't object. Maybe she wouldn't have to say anything at all. Maybe he would just know ... and act.
"You'll be okay." Charlie stroked Jo Ann's hair and held her against his chest. "I'm not worried about you."
"Well, at least one of us is convinced." Jo Ann worried for a moment if Charlie was going to leave things as they were. Why wasn't he trying to excite her, she wondered. Why wasn't he taking advantage of their closeness to sneak the intimacy of a moving hand ... a supposedly accidental touch?
Jo Ann turned her head, suddenly hating herself for her thoughts. Charlie wasn't Stan. She shouldn't think of him that way. It wasn't fair.
"Something wrong?" Charlie asked.
"I'm just not used to being with a gentleman, I suppose," Jo Ann admitted.
"I don't really have to be a gentleman, if you don't want me to." Charlie's tone was half-joking, half-serious.
Jo Ann looked up at him and wished Charlie could really read her mind. He was waiting now, she knew, for some signal. For permission to go ahead and do to her what every man wants to do to a woman. She must decide now ... once and for all.
"I want you," Jo Ann heard herself whisper.
Through half-closed eyes, she saw Charlie's smiling face looking down at her.
"I was waiting for you to say that." His tone was tender, his eyes kind.
Jo Ann buried her face in the hardness of his chest and hoped he would be good to her. Inside, she felt herself beginning to tremble. That old, irrational terror had taken its cue to come to life.
Charlie's kiss killed it.
Her flesh seemed to melt as she felt herself being pulled tighter into Charlie's strong embrace. She let her body go limp as he hugged her to him and covered her face with soft, moist kisses. The beginnings of desire tiptoed across her flesh ... and started to grow.
Jo Ann returned his kiss now with all the passion she could command. She knew she wanted him. Wanted him and needed him. And she hoped she could satisfy him as well.
Charlie's fingers toyed at the neckline of her sweater. Jo Ann lay very still, allowing him the intimacy of a caress. Finally, unable to wait for him to take the initiative, she grasped Charlie's hand and pressed it beneath the wool and onto her bra.
Her breasts came to instant life as Charlie sighed and kneaded the willing flesh beneath her sweater. Jo Ann leaned back and let him toy with her, enjoying the surges of excitement that pulsated outward from the tips of her quivering nipples. If only he would undress her, she thought. If only he'd...
The hand on her knee shocked and aroused her at the same time. Jo Ann forced herself not to move, as gentle fingers crept upward over warm, waiting flesh.
Jo Ann gritted her teeth and counted the seconds. Charlie's touch seemed to remain suspended above her thigh. Had he changed his mind? Did he suddenly think she was cheap and not worth his attentions?
A tugging sensation at the hem of her panties answered her question and allayed all fear. Raising her hips off the sofa, she allowed him to reach beneath and caress her soft flesh.
Charlie sighed and pressed his lips to the valley between Jo Ann's breasts. The sound of kisses reached her ears and she felt as though she might cry. It was so good ... so new and so wonderfully enjoyable. Why had she waited? Why had she been so frightened?
The buttons on her sweater opened easily and Jo Ann helped him undress her until she lay stripped to the waist in front of him.
"Beautiful..."
She heard Charlie whisper and she smiled. She was staring at the ceiling, but she knew he was staring at her. And for the first time, she wasn't embarrassed.
The soft skin of her naked belly yielded beneath his touch as Charlie reached up beneath her skirt. Closing her eyes again, Jo Ann allowed the fiery sensations to play over her flesh and raise her to a fever pitch of desire. What was he waiting for, she wondered? How could he control himself? But she didn't dare ask.
The thin panties slid down over her legs and Jo Ann kicked them off with her toes and allowed Charlie to unbutton her skirt. Every inch of her wanted him now. She could feel the desire, running in hot currents up her legs ... pounding breathlessly through her breasts.
And suddenly, he was gone.
Jo Ann glanced over, panic stricken. Her expression quickly turned to one of shy comprehension. Charlie winked and turned his back. Jo Ann did the same.
The feel of his naked leg brushing against her thigh roused her from her state of reverie. Jo Ann turned slowly, straining to hold herself back. With every passing second, flesh met flesh and her need increased. It felt like a year before she was in his arms again and his mouth was covering hers.
Jo Ann squirmed within his embrace and pressed herself flat against Charlie's trembling body. A mutual craving leaped and danced between them as they remained locked against each other, arms searching, hips rotating in slow, sensual rhythm.
Slowly, gently, Charlie pressed Jo Ann's shoulders down against the slip cover and covered her body with his own.
Jo Ann clung to him with all her strength and squeezed him hard. "Please..." she murmured. "Don't hurt me...
"You didn't even have to say that." Charlie's voice was husky with desire, but sober with control. Jo Ann relaxed and waited...
Slowly, gently, she felt her pleasure intensify. Charlie's body seemed to fuse with hers as they moved together ... searching ... straining to increase the sudden ecstasy that they shared.
Jo Ann gasped and pulled him toward her. She was lost now in a frantic, delicious pursuit of pleasure. She heard Charlie gasp, but his voice was lost beneath her own little cries of delight.
The sofa groaned beneath their hurried movements. Jo Ann threw her head back and dug her heels into the soft mattress. It was happening. This time she knew. For real. For keeps.
She moaned once ... and then they collapsed in each other's arms.
The shuddering of her body refused to subside. Jo Ann clawed the flesh of Charlie's back and tried to remain still. But patience had become an impossibility. There was something more she wanted. Something, again...
"Don't tell me you're not through yet." Charlie's voice was heavy with amusement and pride.
Jo Ann didn't answer. Instead, she pulled his face down to hers and moved to excite him.
Charlie's tongue darted between Jo Ann's lips and his hands slid over her glistening flesh. Soon, Jo Ann was moving with him...
"More..." Jo Ann heard herself. "Please..."
Charlie caught his breath and hurried to please her. A few minutes later, they arched together toward a second perfect union.
Jo Ann rolled over onto her stomach and lay exhausted and spent. But, although her limbs refused to move, her brain functioned at a breakneck pace. Twice ... and she still couldn't believe it. She needed more proof, more assurance.
"Oh, no you don't." Charlie forced her hand gently away and puffed silently on his cigarette.
Jo Ann lay back and curled up against his body, contented. "I just can't get over it," she whispered.
Charlie chuckled. "You don't really have to. But there's plenty of time."
"Yes, I suppose there is," Jo Ann murmured. And as she closed her eyes, she knew that the time remaining for her would never be wasted again.