Chapter 12

Inside, the party was going full blast Bare breasts were beginning to show here and there, most prominently Zora's ripely beautiful pair, jutting out proudly with their rouged nipples. In the big room with its high beamed ceiling little patches of light showed where a couple, or a pair of couples, stood under a muted lamp covered with muslin and whispered about assignations and technical minutiae of interest only to the specialist In the adjacent rooms the technical matters got off the drawing boards and into the wind tunnel. Nan wished she'd gone to peepee on the beach while she was there; the inside bathroom seemed to be all tied up, what with one naked couple making it in the shower standing up-well, the man was standing up anyhow; the girl was bent over in front of him, her titties and long hair hanging down-and a couple of queers at work on the floor.

As she passed one couple, someone took her gently by the arm. "Oh, look, here's the only sensible person at the whole party, Helen. She got her clothes off beforehand."

"Yes, and isn't she darling?"

Nan blinked at them in the dim light The drag she'd taken seemed to have rounded a corner and done something really odd to her. Her head was reeling. She needed to lie down somewhere. She needed....

"Oh, here, sweetheart Oh, look, Bill she's dizzy Somebody must have spiked her drink. Oh, look, sit down, baby. Here, between us. Give her your cloak, Bill the poor thing's shivering."

The world was swimming around and around. The two warm bodies snuggled up next to her, their arms around her, felt nice, very nice. It was like sleeping with Masha and Poly a, in the one big crib, when they were kids. Warm, warm.

Voices again, all around her:

"Nettie here just loves to suck cock. It's the one place where she really excels. Why, once in Dallas we threw a swinger party out by the pool and Nettie took on nine...."

"Oh, I didn't Fred. They wasn't no more than six of them fellers...."

"Well, don't let her try to tell you she ain't any good. She's the best. Folks does something down Texas way, they does it up right an' ol' Nettie's the best...."

"...Oh, dear God, Esther. Oh, my stars and body. Its'...oh, look right over there. It's the new girl Annie, I think they called her. The one who was staying with Mary Alice."

"By God, Lloyd, you're right And look: somebody seems to have slipped her something. Oh, the poor thing's ah freaked out She's on some kind of bummer. Oh, that god-damned bitch Zora. I bet she slipped the kid acid or something."

"I'll bet The bitch. The rotten bitch. Remind me to slap her stupid face some time."

"The dirty fucking slut I'll break her aim."

"Well, anyhow she's in fairly good hands. Bill and Helen are all right. They won't let any harm come to her."

"The hell you say. Bill's been dropping reds. He can't take that shit He did that over at my apartment and the next thing you knew he'd let his goddamn cigarette burn a runner up the top of my favorite table."

"Oh, dear."

I'll never invite that fucking bastard back again. Her, maybe. She's not a bad piece of ass when she's straight and all her instincts aren't shorted out by all the dope he gives her. Fucking men, pigs all of them."

"Oh, the poor dear. Look, she's shivering under the robe. She's having a chill."

"Yeah, Jesus. What a dumb thing for that...that vicious goddamn cunt of a Zora to do. I know it was her. Artie's too fucking stupid to ever get his shit together enough to do something really mean. I mean lasting mean. She's mean smart."

"Perhaps we ought to do something."

"like what?"

"Oh...we could call Avram. For help, I mean. I mean if we tried to take her out ourselves...well, you know how Zora and that rough trade she hangs around with are. They're all over muscles. And hostility, and everything."

"He lives just up the hill, doesn't he?"

"Oh yes. And I happen to know he's home tonight"

"How?"

"Oh, I...asked him to come tonight. Oh no, don't you're making me blush all over again. But...you know...he's just so refreshingly jam I can't stand it.. . "

"Yeah, he's a pussycat If I was into men...but I ain't. So call him."

"Oh, Td be too embarrassed. I mean, after...."

"He'd be em-baaw-athed. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ Lloyd. Gimme the number, I'll call."

Other voices came and went After a while the two people with her got up and went somewhere. They were nice enough to leave her the robe. But after a while it fell off, too, and she discovered she didn't really need it. She was in the middle of a high now, not on the cutting edges of it and she'd slipped back into that strange passive condition she'd been in earlier. And the people came and went.. .

...They were in the back room. She was naked still, and Artie was setting up the cameras. She was sitting back on her heels on a pad on the floor, the kind you use for lying on to exercise or do karate classes or whatever. She looked around her; she was surrounded by lights, and they were warm on her naked body. They were too hot to get very close to and too bright to look at for more than a second. She could see a ring of faces just behind the lights, but she couldn't recognize anyone. They were all her friends, though. She knew that She smiled at them expectantly. Artie was planning some fun new game for her to play in.

Ahead of her, inside the tights, a tall, thin black man, wearing only jockey shorts, stood smoking a brown paper cigarette. As he took a long puff she saw his broad nostrils widen and his very white teeth gleam in a smile of appreciation. "Moth-uh-fuckuh, that is good stuff," he said.

"Listen to the phony soul brother accent" somebody said.

"Jigaboo knows where the money is," another voice answered. "Same sons of bitches that used to go around growing guinea mustaches, trying to pass for a portagee or something, kissing the asses off them Kentucky colonels for a buck, they're out growing them tumbleweed hairdos and sashayin' back and forth in a print bathrobe tryin' to come on like African diplomats."

"Niggerer'n thou," the other voice said. "Sellin' Muhammad Speaks on the street corner."

"An' all the time wouldn't know a chitlin from a chattel mortgage."

"Raht awn, muthuhfuckuh."

"Yowza, yowza, yowza."

The black man turned around, very conscious of effect and looked out over the lights. He was tall and, when he drew himself up like that rather majestic-looking. Nan smiled up at him She wondered what they were going to do together.

"Hey, Paul," Artie's voice said from behind the camera. "Get up next to her. I want to get a reading on both of you. Yeah. Now drop your drawers. I want to get a reading on that big black dick of yours. I want to make sure every goddam vein will photograph, nice and raunchy, without washing her out completely. Right?"

"Okay, Art," the black man said. He dropped the end of the cigarette into a can and, quickly and economically, shucked his underpants, using both hands to shove them down and then stepping out of them. His penis was long and crooked and no bigger around than an average man's, soft tike that It was also, for some strange reason, much darker than the rest of him. He was a not unpleasant milk-chocolate color all over, but his penis was almost black.

"Hand me that vaseline," he said. Someone put an arm through the lights and gave him a jar. He looked down at Nan. "Got to grease the old man up," he said. "You want to do it for me, white gal?"

Nan smiled up at him, her eyes out of focus in the bright light She took the jar he pressed into her hand.

"Rub that stuff inta my dick," he said. "Get 'im nice and hard for them dumb honky bastards out there in Tee Vee Land. We gonna wind up on the silver screen." He laughed harshly. "Plain' first-run dates at every fuckin' X-rated motel in Southern California."

Nan smiled wanly up at him, eager to please. She dipped her fingers into the jar and came out with a big, thick gob of grease, about the size of a dried date. She looked up at him expectantly.

"Go ahead," he said in a voice with a slight contemptuous edge to it "Rub it in."

She reached over to take his penis-how long it was-in one hand. Almost immediately it jerked slightly in her fingers, stiffening a little. "Right" he said. "Now you just bend right over there, white gal, and give him a big kiss, right there on the big old black dick, with them ruby-red white-gal lips o' yours."

Nan bent over, giving him another shy smile. And when she kissed it right on the edge where the head ended, it leapt smartly to attention. "See there?" he said.

"Hey," said a voice. "Artie, you better get some of this preliminary shit on film too. It's pretty good."

"Okay," the black man said. "Now slap some of that goo on that ol' dick and rub it in-slowly and carefully. I ain't been jacked off by a white gal in a long while. E-e-easy does it now, just rub it in nice and sneaky with them little white fingers. Awwww, that's niiiice...."

"Christ" someone said, "this is getting me ho."

"Want me to blow yon while you watch?" another voice said.

"Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that'd be nice."

Nan's fingers worked that stuff into every pore of the man's skin, from one end to the other. She couldn't understand why she was doing this, but it seemed to be giving him some pleasure. She noticed, while she was doing it that the chain between her .wrists was only a little bit longer than the enormous length of his rod. She held up her chained wrists to show him, an angelic smile on her face.

"Yeah, that's right, gal, now you get right back to work and rub that stuff in real good. Yeah. Yeah, now that's gettin' it on, right Yeah."

Nan tried using both hands, choking up on the huge thing as if it had been a softball bat And she ran both hands up and down it up and down, feeling it pulsing with excitement as it grew harder and-almost imperceptibly-longer.

"Hey, baby," a voice said, way back there somewhere, "jack me off that way, hey?"

"Steal me that jar of goose juice."

"Shit I cant reach it. They're filmin'."

"Well, get something from the John."

"Aw, hell I'll play with it myself. At least nobody won't give me no back-talk."

The black man put his hand on hers now. "That's okay. That's okay. Don't want to spoil it all. Now." He looked toward the camera. "Ready, Art?"

"Any time."

"Okay." He turned back to the girl. "Now you just hunker down on them hands an' knees, and look over yonder and smile for the camera. See the birdie? Okay, smile now."

Nan smiled. As she did, her eyes out of focus in the bright tights, the black man slipped behind her. And she remembered to keep smiting-after all that's what they had told her to do-even when the black man's hands gripped her hips and he began, little by little, to slip the massive, greased tube of his big black cock up her tender and protesting anus. "Wow, look at her blink."

"Wait a few minutes. He's gonna get it in all the way to the eyes anyhow."

"That thing's as long as she is."

"Oh, God, this is getting me hot."

Oh, God, it hurt! It hurt so! Even going m slowly, even with the added lubrication she'd rubbed in, it was like a knife inside her! Nan tried to smile, but even as she did she began to cry. And it wasn't an adult's silent, held-in sort of crying, but that of a child, abused beyond her comprehension: a wail, low-pitched and slow. Even then she tried to smile; she wanted to please, if she possibly could.

Well, Goddamn. Will you look at that."

"Yeah, for Christ's sake."

Tucking amateurs...."

There was a commotion back behind the lights. Loud voices: "Hey, Goddamn it...you can't...get back there...Goddamn it, stop him, don't let him through...." As she looked, her eyes still filled with tears of pain and humiliation, Nan saw a large and heavy figure push Artie's camera over; it fell with a loud crash. Then the same large and heavy pair of hands pushed Artie over, and, for lagniappe, pushed over two of the lights that stood between her and Artie. One of them fell with a resounding crash; the glass went every which way. A big, bear-like figure in blue denim, with crazily unkempt hair and a ferocious black beard, pushed the black man away and Nan fell forward on her face. Strong and capable hands raised her in a second, though, and a deep and gentle voice said out of the forest of whiskers, "It's okay, Annie. We're going home."

Avram picked her np as easily as if she'd been a babe in arms. "Zora," he said, "throw something over her, will you please?" The voice was slow and patient, but there was enough menace behind it to compel attention. "Now don't delay me, anybody, you'll only make me mad, and that'll only waste your time and mine. Zora? Thank you, thank you...now well just run along...."

Outside, Esther sat behind the wheel of Lloyd's Volkswagen camper, an angry look on her face. "Yeah, good, Avram, you get in the back with her. The bed's down. Put her in there and keep die cover over her. I'll drive. Lloyd here can't stop blubbering."

"It's all right," Avram said in his gentle voice. "Both of you did just fine. You both did the right thing." Lloyd looked up at him gratefully and blew his nose, his face was red as a beet Nan gave both of them the same trusting smile she'd given the camera as Avram's strong arms lifted her into the back of the little truck.

It was dark back there. Nan was beginning to come down off her drug-induced high, and reality was seeping back into her mind. Reality and memory. "Oh, Avram," she said as he lowered her gentry onto the little bed in the back. "I had the most terrible dreams."

"Yes," he said, tucking the coverlet over her. "That's what they were, dear. Dreams." He patted her arm. In front, Esther started the car and put it in gear, easing out into the Highway One traffic lights from other cars flashed oddly, off and on, through the front windows and windshield. It was like the funny light show in the dream, only there was no rock and roll music. That was okay. She didn't want any music. Anything that loud would drown out the soft and reassuring sound of Avram's deep voice.

"There was this dream about Mary Alice," Nan said. "She'd been hurt, and I couldn't seem to do anything about it. But...it was like I could, too, only I had to go back to being Ed's wife to do it I ah of a sudden had all the money to help her with that anyone ever needed, and I could pay off all the bills and maybe even buy into the school and become partners with her once she got well....She will get welt won't she, Avram?"

"Yes, she will," he said. "We called the hospital this afternoon, and she's going to pull through. She'll need a lot of help, and she'll particularly-I mean besides somebody taking care of her...."

"Oh, I'll do it" Nan said. "She'll get the best of care. I promise." She gripped his big hand hard.

"...Anyhow, shell also need a lot of help putting the school back on a sound basis. I'm sure I can help out there some...."

"But Avram, that's what I was going to tell you. I...oh, it wasn't a dream. It wasn't It's me. I am worth...oh, God, twenty million dollars...."

"Welt," he said, obviously not believing her, "It sure it won't require anything like that much. Well all pitch in."

"Oh, sure we will Sure we will, Avram." She gripped his big paw with both of hers. "There's something...something on my wrists, Avram. What is it?"

"Oh," he said. He felt for them. "Oh, that" His big hands broke the chain, once, twice, tossing the pieces into a corner of the little truck. "Junk jewelry," he said. "Not really your thing, I think."

"Oh, it isn't," she said. "I never liked jewelry. Ed kept giving it to me and I never liked any of it. I didn't even feel bad about it when Marie-Helene stole all of it back in St. Tropez."

"Well," he said, "that's all over."

"Yes," she said. "Oh, yes, it is." She clung to his big arm. "There...was so much of it...I didn't understand....There was a dream about myself...under the lights...and people were doing things to me...and I couldn't help myself...I was so embarrassed...."

"Only a dream," he said, patting her hand. She grabbed the hand suddenly and pulled it under the cover to hold it against her naked bosom. She could see his face, big and kind and black-bearded, in the flickering lights.

"Yes...but Avram...it was a sexy kind of dream, really...it felt really sexy...I was naked . . and everybody was looking at me...and I felt kind of hot...you know what I mean?" She turned his hand around to feel his big rough palm on her hard nipples.

"Yes," he said, "I know what you mean."

"Yes...and it would all have been so nice...if only everyone had been kind...I was feeling kind to them...but they weren't feeling kind to me...and...and...that's one of the things I learned, these last few weeks, Avram...that love is being kind . . and giving yourself completely...but only to the people who give back...."

"That's right," he said. "That's the beginning of wisdom. It takes us all such a long hard time to get around to learning that" His hand, guided by her own, strayed down her front to rest on the soft patch of hair.

"Oh...that's nice...hold me there, Avram...could you...could you put your fingers inside me . . and feel me...and hold me...I'm still hot...from the dream...."

He did, and the hand was huge and warm and comforting, holding on to her thoroughly wet cunt as if it were some sort of handle, his big thumb slowly, gently, massaging her clitoris, which now stood out proudly.

"Oh, Avram...I've needed ah of you...so long...I've needed so much to learn...that it didn't matter whether it was a man or a woman...you went to bed with...as long as it was someone you loved and trusted and respected and felt affection for...Oh, Avram, I love Mary Alice so...I'm going to take such good care of her....". .

I'll help you," he said. "I love her too."

"Oh, you do? You do? She loves you too. Oh, Avram...dear Avram...come up in the bed with me...."

"I'm not sure both of us can get up there."

"Oh, do...please do...I'll get up on top...there's room...."

His big hands turned her this way and that, and he rolled his big body onto the bed, and he fumbled with his clothes a bit, and then Nan, still naked except for the coverlet over her shoulders, felt herself slowly sliding down...down onto Avram's large and thoroughly ready cock. She opened easily to receive him, and prepared to settle down comfortably. To her surprise, it filled her, inside, ad the way to the cervix: there was a thoroughly satisfying feeling of being stuffed right up to the gills.

"Now arch your back a little," he said. "Sit forward a little."

She did, and felt the tip of her clitoris rub deliciously against his pubis, covered as it was with his thick forest of bodily hair. It scratched.. .Delightfully....She purred softly as he rearranged the cover on her shoulders with big protective hands, and, still purring quietly, she began slowly and rhythmically to ride, ride, on his big and responsive body, back and forth. Her eyes closed; her breathing grew heavier, heavier; she felt his own response growing, growing...they were coming, together...both of them...at the same time....She heard his deep grunt at the same moment her own climax came, and she collapsed gratefully on his big chest, digging her flushed face into his heavy beard....

"Don't look now," Lloyd said up front, "but something's going on up there in the back."

"What?" Esther said in her rough voice. She looked around when the truck stopped at a traffic light. "For Christ's sake," she said. "Fucking. Can you beat that?"

"My, my," Lloyd said in a mock-prim voice. "But wouldn't you just adore getting a piece of that, now?"

"Which one?" she said, putting the car back in gear. Lloyd, an arch smile on his face, refused to answer.

She looked in the rear-view mirror, smiled wryly, and gave it the gas. "You're right," she said. "It wouldn't matter in the slightest"