Chapter 9

THE CASE STUDY OF DEBORAH

"Yes I can fully understand and appreciate what you say about getting fed up with men with their swinging pricks. They rush about like football players, eager and ready to make a touchdown without as much as saying, 'Whang, Bam, Thank you, ma'am.' However, I still think that it's the mature older males who are really considerate and who know the art of lovemaking and the art of arousing a girl. Perhaps that's why, when it comes to men, I prefer the mature and well experienced ones to the younger bunch."

Deborah is a thirty-one-year-old British girl, who works as a secretary for a firm in New York. The above is a short excerpt from one of her lengthy letters to a young English housewife in Britain. They met through one of the swinger magazines, the woman in Britain answering Deborah's add curiously.

Knowing that I was working on this volume, a research assistant in Europe wrote me about the letters from Deborah that had been given to him by a patient. The situation was quite similar to that of Elaine and Helen, the British housewife becoming upset at discovering her Lesbian tendencies.

The contribution of these letters from Deborah are all the more valuable for study, in that she writes very long ones and reveals more of the little subtle quirks that make up her coprolalic personality.

There was no problem in my checking on her, but I did not contact her, as that would be unethical, of course. She works for a large commercial bank and came to this country when British secretaries were such a "fad" among big businessmen, in the early 1960's. She lives in a very small apartment, yet the building is quite posh, on the middle East Side of Manhattan.

I will present her three letters here verbatim, leaving out only the brief paragraph used at the first of this chapter:

Letter #I

My hot bitchy darling, I was overjoyed with your last letter and that you find me a pretty sexy bitch like you, that you find I have a pretty face and that you'd love to kiss my hot, sensual lips (wouldn't you like to have these big lips of mine on your pouting cunt, honey?), that you love my firm ripe breasts with their nipples (milk and suck my tits, darling), and I'm glad that all in all you have found that I'm all woman, exuding sex and every voluptuous exposed inch of me proclaiming it. Did you like my picture? Yes, and thanks for saying such sweet things, but please be a little more frank and sexy when you write. No one else will know. This is a secret that can be ours forever ... or if your stud of a husband wants in, it's all right with me, darling.

Darling, please, I beg you to send me a very candid photograph of your beautiful body in the entire nude. You only tease me when you show me your ass by pulling up your dress in back, or pulling it up in front while you still have on briefs. And, darling, I simply must see your precious titties, all of them. Why don't you hold them and play with them after you set the camera?

Darling, do you want to taste my honey-cunny and get it all crispy around the edges? Please, my sweet, tell me. I must know what you like the very best for sex. Don't ever stop writing me, darling. You're a taste of home and the kind of taste I remember from my very young secretarial days in London. I had such a wonderful affair with my boss' wife, and then all three of us. More about that some other time.

Tell me why it is, darling, that you are so very afraid of losing your butt-cherry even to that stud of yours? I've had a cock in there, and I use a rectal vibrator that's very soothing, almost every day, sometime. And I want to say how generous you are with me in saying that you wouldn't mind sharing your wonderful stud with me. How you describe his slim, pantherish prick sounds delightful. With someone like you, my darling, I don't mind a threesome at all. Here in New York I often go to some of the better clubs and meet a young couple. It isn't hard to do at all as I wear a club-pin that lets other swingers know I'll go along, but means nothing to squares.

When I get into a certain mood here at home, dancing to a record player before my full-length dressing mirror, I am pleased with my timing and with the sinuous things I can do with my body, especially when I hunch and bunch my stomach muscles, make them slither up and down inside my belly like I had a coiled snake within me. It took a lot of practice to do this, and concentration, but when I watched in the mirror I could see that it had a carnal fascination to it. [Narcissism quite evident here and no mention of this exhibition except for herself to enjoy.]

So, darling, when you want to take me to bed, both of us naked, I'd come to you on the bed, incline myself over you, my arms widespread, balancing myself. Inch by inch I'd lower the sensitive nipples of my ripe breasts toward your face, aiming them at your upturned mouth. Then you'd take the sting away, make them soft with your tongue. I'd be withdrawing first one breast and then the other by mere lifting of my shoulders. Then your hands would come up and capture both lush breasts and squeeze them together. Then both of my nipples would be in your mouth together and I'd glory in the exquisite touch of your wet tongue lapping and drooling at my breasts. I'm glad you like my big nipples, darling. When they are very excited, they are every bit as big as cherries, as you can see by the photo. The girl who took the picture had just been sucking on them for a long time while her husband was sucking my cunt.

Sobbing liquid sighs would escape my throat. Then I'd pull away from your grasp and I'd begin to twist my hips and wriggle my stomach in a circular motion. Then I'd reverse directions. Then I'd begin my specialty, gathering the muscles of stomach, making them writhe and slither slowly downward. Then it climbs up again, tumbles down. And still again. Then as I approach you, I'd begin to bunt and revolve my naked belly at you in a proud offering, and tease and advance inch by inch. I'd bring my lurching, grinding abdomen and open cunnylips closer to your face. Your eyes would be glued to my gyrating belly and slippery cunt, as I continue bunting and distending my belly, coming closer and closer, all but pushing my cunt in your face. Would you like all this, honey-pie? Oooh, please, honey, in your next letter tell me the juiciest details of how you would spank my naked buttocks, and tell me in your own sweet words how you'd spank my honey-cunny. Yes, honey, do please spank my cunt and my butt, and if you wish to get a candle and push it into your baby's hole, I'd just love you to do it. But how about wrapping an apparatus to yourself, the wide belt around your waist, the separate thinner straps around your legs, while I he upon your bed, bringing up my knees and opening my legs and rocking myself in anticipation of getting myself fucked by you with your false-prick? Yes, honey, mount me like a stud and fuck me. I want to make love to you while you are so passionate you may beg me to. Honey, I promise you that I am good in sex. Will you accept me as your lover?

Great Love, DEBORAH

Letter #2

My sweet, hot, honey-cunty bitch, Thank you for your long awaited letter, my darling, along with the absolutely delicious photo of your cunt. I feel romantic, precious. For me, the ambrosia of nectars would be the sap distilled from the juices of your cunt. Oh, to get drunk of your excitement, to inhale the musky smell of it, to savor the divine taste of it, to mess up my lips and my tongue in the abundance of it, to suck you nearly dry until you give me some more under the heat of my ministrations. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water.

That you can not only accept me as a Lesbian, but want to make love with me, is the highest point of my existence. You can imagine us, two girls, very well-shaped, very nude, standing up in each other's arms, busily sucking each other's tongues, pelvic zone plastered on each other, and hands busily squeezing each other's buttocks. So, let us fully enjoy each other, my own passionate, fully endowed chickie-chick. Okay?

Sometimes, I feel I'm not myself without the help of your coaxing letters, without the sweetness of their tenderness, without the naughtiness of your naughty words. After reading your latest letter, I felt that we were closer, much closer than ever before, and the rapture of the senses rapidly became intimate enough to reach into my heart. I felt happy and grateful that you were in my life, you splendid specimen of womanhood. Had you been there with me right now I would have asked you to come to bed with me straightaway ... where our special kind of lovemaking would take place without much ado. I am sure you would take care immediately of what ails me. Wouldn't you, honey? My honey-cunny, I offer it to you. Do what you want with my cunt, honey. Lick it, eat it, devour it. Oh, yes. like that! Ah, how you are exciting me, honey. Go ahead, my love, kiss my cunt. My own lovey-loves, be nice to me. I'm all yours. Fuck me, honey-pie. Or are you going to give this sexy saucy girlie of yours a good spanking? I would rather like it, I mean your spanking me. Come on, spank me. Ooooh, it's so good to feel your hand slapping my springy bottom, honey. Ooooh, I'm going out of my mind ... Ooooh, please don't be so gentle. Spank me. Ooooh, spank me! Woweee! That's it!

I went to the apartment of the woman who owns a very fashionable boutique where I buy a few things every now and then. She had been so extra friendly with me, so I wasn't surprised at her invitation for the visit. Half an hour after my arrival, she told me very plainly, "I want to watch you undress, please. You've such a beautiful body, and I've never been lucky enough to see more of it that I see in the fitting room. That only teases me."

She was sitting on the couch I got up and stood in front of her and I began to unbutton my blouse. There was a glitter in her eyes when I got down to my lingerie, in which she had seen me before. I leaned over and gripped the hem of my slip. I brought it up slowly, exposing my black-stockinged legs, my garter-belt, my little mesh bra, and my nylon briefs. It was the way I knew how to turn on a man, and she was savoring it, too. Most of my sexy lingerie were her own creations.

I posed before her in just the garter-belt, black stockings and pumps. I was reaching for my garter snaps when she said, "Over here, you teasing witch." I came closer to her. Then her hands were on my naked breasts, on my back, on my naked buttocks, on my legs, and then right between my thighs. She made me lean forward, and I let her take my breasts in her mouth and permitted her to play all she wanted. She was breathing fast now. Her hot breath was on my erect nipple and breast. Then her lips were busy and her hands wandered all over me. I trembled as she stroked my inner thighs. Then she drew me up between her parted legs and she began to kiss my belly. She kept this up for quite some time, her fingers clenching into my buttocks. Then she made me lift up one foot and placed it on the couch. My other foot was on the floor. Then, with a low cry, her mouth swooped downward and clamped tight on my cunt I swayed and almost teetered onto the floor as she sucked, tongued, lapped, and sucked and sucked. She sucked my love juices right out of my cunny.

A little while later, she freed me from her grasp and got up from the couch. She slapped me smartly on my naked buttocks and said, "Thanks, baby." Well, honey, that's how it went. Your comments? That evening when I returned home and had my usual shower, I stood gloriously naked before my full-length dressing mirror. I didn't need anyone to tell me that I was beautiful and attractive. The mirror did that.

Won't you love me most of all, darling? Whenever I think of you, of your naughty words, my breathing comes in deep gasps. Whenever I think of your actions, of your passion for me, I almost feel you are here and there's a glow in every nerve of my body. You've made me shake off all inhibitions with you. You are a very dear lover of mine. Thanks a lot, honey.

I'm now going to tell you about the promised love-session just between the two of us. Well, allow me first to have a drink of whisky and soda. Okay, honey-pie?

You were standing before me.' The sheer pink bra which covered your large breasts were partially exposing the rounded swell. Your erect nipples were jutting out. Your exquisitely taut buttocks filled out your red panties in such an exciting way. I reached out with my fingers and touched your smooth, satiny flesh just above your bra. Then I slipped around behind you and looked at you from the rear. Your hips were just perfect as they formed the beginning of your rounded buttocks. My pulse quickened as I unfastened the hooks of your bra and let it fall to the floor. Your voluptuous body trembled as I put my arms around you and pressed my own firm, ripe breasts against your bare back. Even through my own dress, my breasts tingled with the contact and my nipples became erect. Slowly, my fingers toyed with your flat belly, then they crept up toward your twin beauties which were thrust out so proudly and firmly.

My fingers reached your wonderful breasts and your body shook with emotion. "You've such smooth, soft ... flesh, darting," I whispered, kissing the back of your neck. I felt the change of temperature in your body and I felt my own cunt start to burn and itch. I kissed your back with my tongue and my hands gripped your breasts firmly and I pressed my own quivering crotch up against your fleshy buttocks, feeling the swelling filling my inner thighs with their warmth.

"Do you like that?" I breathed passionately. "And your breasts, darling, the feel of them excites me so much that I want to chew on them."

I was almost crying until-you said, "Why don't you, baby?" There was a short pause as I took off every last garment I was wearing. When I came around in front of you, you gasped at the sight of your naked, sexy baby.

"Would you like to touch my breasts," I asked.

"Of course, you horny bitch," you replied. You reached over and held one of my breasts and pulled on it. I loved it and it sent shivers of delight up and down my spine as you tweaked my nipple hard.

I pulled you to me, embracing you and kissing you on the mouth with exquisite passion. You responded by putting your own arms around me and we started to grind our pelvises together. Both of us were now trembling with passion. I slid my hands inside your red panties, grabbing firmly onto the flesh of your meaty buttocks. Our naked breasts were rubbing against each other and we felt our erect nipples brush tantalizingly across the others, and the moans of passion were becoming louder and louder.

"Don't you want me to take off my panties?" you asked breathlessly.

"No ... don't," I answered, and knelt at your feet I rubbed my breasts against your legs, then against your red nylon panties, my nipples becoming ever more rigid. Then I stroked your inner thighs, coming closer and closer to the goal that was covered by the crotch of those panties.

You spread your legs so that my head could more easily find your sweet, wet cunt. I put my head between the soft flesh and rubbed my cheek against the red panties, my nose pressing against the bare flesh of your crotch. You trembled and tried to push my head to your pussy. I resisted while my breasts were banging against your legs, their erect nipples making you feel as though there were two cocks hitting your legs. You teetered and I pulled you by your buttocks so that my face was more deeply imbedded. I licked the soft tendrils of your pubic hair through your panties. You shivered with the wet tonguing and parted your legs even more.

"Oh, kiss it! Kiss it!" you cried passionately, almost sitting on my head as you bent your knees to get your cunt closer to my tongue probing against your hot pussy-lips through the red panties. I slid my tongue along your panties, and the feeling was one of sexual ecstasy. My fingers left your buttocks and slid around to the front of your trembling body and started to stroke your cunt lips through your panties.

"Ooooh! Take off my panties and suck my cunt! Lick it! Eat me, darling!" you wailed. I fumbled with my fingers so that the crotch of your panties were only half covering your sweet pussylips. I looked at it and thrilled at the sight. Oh, what a beautiful, pink, wet, delicious cunt it was. Trembling with mad desire, my tongue slithered into your itching and warm cunt and you moaned with delight. I received wave after wave of delicious sensations as one side of my tongue was pressed against your bare cunt lips and the other side lapped the panties.

You began to rotate your hips wildly, grabbing my head and pushing it deeper. My tongue ran slowly around your very wet lips. I savored the taste of the dew drops that seeped through the other side of your panties, as well as that which I sucked directly from the slick flesh of your cunt. My tongue went in quite deeply, then licked from inside up to your little clit. I sensed that you were on the verge of coming. I increased the tempo of my tonguing, sliding it in and out of your pouty, fleshy cunt lips. You shivered and trembled on your feet and it was only my hands that prevented you from falling backwards as you felt the beginnings of a tremendous orgasm!

I increased the pressure of my suctioning, feeling, lapping, so that I could get as much of your love juices as possible. "I'm going to come! I'm going to come!" you screamed wildly, your legs trembling, your back arching forward against my sucking mouth. My tongue ran slowly around as your quivering cunt was pushed more firmly to my face. Your juices taste better than the rarest delicacy in the world.

Honey, do tell me of your own reactions to this wonderfully naughty doing of mine with you. Please do write real soon. Suck my cunt in your dreams and imagine the way I would tease and suck yours and inundate your whole body with my wet lips and tongue. There is nothing I would say "no" to as far as you are concerned ... Suck me, suck me, my bitch!

Your lesbian true-love, DEBORAH

Letter #3

My very own Honey-Sweet, Thank you so much for the long-awaited letter and the wonderful butt pics. I want you to be here now so that I might suck and lick your most sensitive areas ... naked. When I read your naughty words and carefully gazed in rapture on your lovely butt and partially exposed honey-cunt, I felt like having a "self-release." So, there I was, standing in front of my full-length dressing mirror. I was nude and facing the mirror. I began to finger myself around the pink circle that gave access to my cunny. I took my forefinger, wet it in my mouth and then applied to my lower belly. My eyes began to shine. I quivered and my thighs pressed together and released in a sexy rhythm. Then I backed up against my bed and stumbled onto it. I was lying in bed with my legs in the air, moaning your precious name aloud as my finger went in and out of my cunt. Well, soon I had the much-needed release.

I've been trying to butter up my boss for an increase in my secretarial salary. I'd like to have your sage advice on the matter, so I'm going to tell first what happened. I invited him up to my apartment one evening. His expensive suit seemed molded to his handsome frame. I wore a skirt and a sweater, deliberately not wearing any underwear. I had on a pair of spike-heel shoes that make my legs look extra super. The poor man hesitated just inside the door as I extended my hand. I saw him steal a glance at the outline of my breasts in the sweater that was very tight and made of a stretch material.

I made him settle down on the couch and I sat in the chair across from him. He found a cigarette and he lighted it. "Let me get you an ashtray," I said, getting up to find him one. As I bent down to set it on the coffee-table, my unsupported breasts swung outwards against my sweater. I held my breath, feeling he could see down the V-neck of the sweater too, as well as be attracted to the nipple shapes protruding my sweater in front.

Damn him! Instead of doing something, he just exhaled a ring of smoke toward the ceiling. It would not go beyond the stage of polite discussion on the problem of the salary increase. He was talking about a pitiful 5% raise, and I wanted about 35% more which is what all the efficient British girls who have stayed over here are making. I thought the answer was to seduce him, tease him so much with my body that he would lose self-control and agree to the raise I wanted.

I knew that the way I was dressed at that time was enough to get him warmed up, at least. The thin clothing hid none of my provocative charms. For a moment, I thought that I would let my skirt ride up until what I was willing to give him was almost in view. But then when I thought more about him, his particular character, I realized that might look very cheap to him. I knew that my approach would have to be quite different. However, I had no chance to be more clever that night, as he stood up and went toward the door, saying that we would discuss the subject of my salary increase the next week. Well, that's how it turned out, and that's why I have been pondering about a new technique. Give me some ideas, darling, please do.

Yes, honey, I do possess an artificial prick. It is a slim, panther-ish one over six inches long, and can be strapped around the waist. It has a small patch of leather that fits over the cunny. To this small patch of leather is attached the false cock made of India rubber which can be heated if you immerse it in hot water. And if I were to strap this apparatus on after heating it with hot water, and mount you and fuck you just like a stud, you'd be muttering, "Darling, you're busting me open. But no! Don't pull it out. For heaven's sake don't pull it out. Oooh, you're way in there and its so wonderful. Fuck me like this, Deborah. Fuck me with your false prick. Eeeegh! Agh! Oooh! I knew it would be this good. Don't ever stop fucking me, you horny, Lesbian bitch ... lover!"

Well, if you really desire me to describe to you in all its juicy details about me strapping on my artificial prick around my feminine waist and fucking you, let me know and I promise you would find it terrifically exciting. Okay?

Thinking of apparatuses, I wonder if you have ever used a vibrator on your luscious body, sending all those tingling sensations all around your titties, down your tummy, down and up your inner thighs, teasing the lips of your delectable cunny, running it up and down your moist slit, back to your little puckered ass-hole and back to your cunt lips again, now concentrating on your hardened clitty, sending vibrations up and down your spine. As you become really hot, you press it hard against your clitty and you feel tike climbing the walls. Then comes the big buildup and you feel it drawing from every corner of your body, until you think you can stand it no longer, then comes such a blasting and fulfilling orgasm and you can keep the vibrator on your clit and have more.

You may have a dozen, but your clit will either become too sensitive or too numb if you work with it much over an hour. You can vary things, my darling. When you've had your first orgasm or so, use the vibrator to spread your secreting juices back to your ass-hole and over your butt and back in front through your hairs. You can go mad with it!

Finally, the sensations subside and you are feeling drowsy, fall asleep, dreaming about erotic and exotic things. Please do use a vibrator on your lovely self, darling, and write to me each and every detail about how you used it and the sensations you received. Okay? And you can ask me any questions you want about how to do other things with it. My boutique owner girlfriend uses one in the shape of a very long cock and it is very powerful. You must plug it in the wall as it has no batteries. She greases it and puts it all the way into her rectum and turns it on, while I suck and nibble the pink flesh of her cunt. She says it is the very best kind of "doubleheader" fuck there is. I may let her do it on me next time, but I do want to see you, my darling. I wonder if I will ever get back to England.

I have only one stepbrother and he is only nineteen, at present attending college in a town about a hundred miles from New York. The firm in London that employs my dad has given him a scholarship and big allowance because they want my dad to buy their supplies for use in manufacturing. But I am really my father's pet. My real mother died when I was seven years old and after a lapse of about two years, my father married again. Out of this second wedlock was bora my stepbrother, the only issue. My stepmother is a strict disciplinarian and we have never gotten along together. My poor father was in a huge quandary as to what to do when he saw how she treated me, cursed me and slapped me when I was a "naughty" girl. This went on since I had been nine years old and I could tell it was tearing my father apart. He loved her, of course, in their way, but I was his pet, his first child. He loved me more, in our way. I sometimes have this godawful wish that he had been the first man to fuck me. Isn't that terrible? I would tell this to no one but you. I did see his cock, and I did see him masturbate it once in the bathroom when he left the door lightly open and did not know I was nearby. I was able to see him standing in front of our inside toilet peeing. And when he finished, he played with it a bit and it became super hard. In another few moments I saw his sperm shoot out in the toilet, but some of it missed because he used some toilet tissue to clean it up. That happened shortly after he had married my stepmother, and I think it made me feel very odd ... and sexy.

After I had gone through a very expensive finishing and executive secretarial school, my father decided upon the solution. British secretaries were all the rage here for big executives. We were not so demanding as American girls and we are superbly efficient. My father helped me get a job here in New York with a company he bargains with for Commonwealth sales rights. And he paid all my expenses over here and gave me two thousand American dollars to start me off.

Yes, both men and women in America are very sexy for me. The men flirt constantly and are always trying to see up my skirt or down my blouse. They are not as great at pleasing a girl as others, but when you do find a man who is way out and will spend the night doing everything with you, it can be heaven.

At this moment, thinking of you with your own stud right there and to know that you have offered him to please me as well as your darling self. Do you think he would like me? Would you like to watch him fuck me, or suck me?

By the way, I am enclosing herein another of my candid pics which I hope you like, and also an imprint of my cunt lips. Honey, how about sending me another candid pic? Thanks.

I was first introduced into sucking a prick by a very mature and experienced man. Let me tell you about it Okay? He had undressed me completely. Then he got off his own clothes. As we sat down on the bed, he made me grasp his cock in my hand while I was made to fondle his balls with my other hand. A little while later he made me lie on my back in the bed, while he knelt over me. My eyes widened as I looked at the size of his mammoth cock. "Just open your mouth as wide as you can, baby," he told me.

"Just don't choke me with it," I begged of him.

"I'll just put the tip in your mouth, baby, and then you can lick around the head and suck on the tip until you get used to it."

I hesitated for a moment, then wrapped my fingers around his erect cock as he brought it nearer to my lips. My tongue stiffened and raked the underside of his prick. Then he inched forward and two or more inches of his cock went between my red lips. "Now, baby, keep your lips tight." he said. I did as he asked and he eased more of his cock into my mouth. He kept it there for a few seconds then partially withdrew and started a slow fucking movement in and out of my mouth, while I kept my lips tense and made sucking noises with my mouth. Then he shot out his hot cream right inside my throat and I had to swallow it When he finished, he removed his cock from my mouth and patted my naked buttocks, and said, "Thank you, baby."

Well, that's how I got my first taste of cocksucking.

My gosh, your spanking me and your putting the fattest banana inside my cunt and then covering it up again with my tight panties was marvelously erotic and highly stimulating. I want you to write me a lot more of how you would like to use my body. It is all yours. I am naked as I sit here writing to my true lover.

Faithfully true, DEBORAH

Comment: In the vast amount of exchange of erotic correspondence going on today between veritable strangers, there are many men who write to females they see advertise in the guise of females themselves, Lesbians. Often, men end up writing to each other in the role of a Lesbian, sending nude photos of models or others they have obtained from corresponding swingers, saying that the picture is theirs.

When I first saw Deborah's letters, I was of the impression that she might be a man pretending to be a woman. In my own opinion, after much study, men who do this to any degree are quite insecure ay men. Some are transvestites or "male Lesbians" as I have termed them, when they are also decidedly transsexual.

However, I knew that my research assistant in Britain was certain of the female identity of the female at the other end of the correspondence. And my own checking showed that Deborah was a secretary to a top officer of a large corporation. I also learned that she was not at all attractive, did not socialize, and had few friends.

In reviewing Deborah's letters, I noticed that she did not make the common mistake of so many men who try posing as women. She never said or implied that she "ejaculated," only that her flow of vaginal secretions (actually Bartholin glands secretion more close to the vulval area) was heavy.

The next question to be answered, since she did mention something about her childhood, was to find a pattern that would explain her bisexuality, the fact that she did not hate or fear men, as is the case with so many Lesbians.

Her narcissism as well as her "experiences" may be all fantasy. She describes herself as she would like to look. There was, however, one man in her life who really loved her. She was her father's "pet." At the same time, it was that loving father who gave her the money to leave home and live in a new country thousands of miles across the ocean.

Deborah's attitude toward the "loving" male, as symbolized by her father, became ambivalent. He loved her deeply, but not enough to give up his second wife. And then there was the negative attitude of this stepmother toward Deborah. In her own mind, she recalled a "mother" as being loving, kind, ever forgiving. It matters not how well her own mother really treated her, Deborah only wanted to recall the good parts. And when compared with her stepmother, her own mother loomed ever higher in her heart.

The reader should note that, through her primarily Lesbian oriented correspondence with the woman in Britain, Deborah does mention some sex acts with males. The one that appears to stand out was the first time she fellated a man. The male penis represents to her the strength of the father who loved her, as well as the nipple of the mother who loved her.

In her Lesbian relations, it was probably the other way around. The nipple or clitoris that she sucked was both the mother's breast symbol and to some degree, a penis symbol. I have noticed in other studies that, while most Lesbians want nothing to do sexually with men, the more overt or gay types frequently have a desire to suck the male penis. It is the genital penetration of that penis which threatens them. Yet there often remains a small degree of heterosexual desire that can be achieved by "aggressive" fellatio.

The study of Deborah, I feel, reveals a very superbly efficient worker who wants to please a boss (father symbol) very much. One way she could know that she was pleasing him, would be the tangible evidence of a substantial raise in pay. Previously, Deborah stated that she had fancied sexual relations with her father. Thus, her analogous thinking may have told her-"You wanted sex with your father, but you never offered it to him, so he sent you away. You want a raise from your boss, so don't let him get away, too. Offer him sex."

The psycho-dynamics of this case are highly individualized. However, it is a safe guess that there are thousands of kinky girls like Deborah, who live in a fantasy world of sex. They will never see their correspondents, so they may use their imaginations to the fullest, drawing and enlarging upon actual experiences that may have occurred when they were very young, or upon more recent but rare occasions.

In personality disorders of this type, the person often has no guilt-feelings or internal emotional conflicts. They are alone. They feel that there is nothing basically wrong with them, and they function to a degree approaching perfection in their jobs, which is a realistic manner of gaining the praise and attention they want, but not one that is enough to satisfy the sexual manifestations of desire.

I feel certain that many people live out most of their lives in such a manner. In other cases, the disorder may evolve from neurotic to psychotic, I feel. The great problem is that these people are so determined, the problem so deeply imbedded, that they feel the "worst" thing in the world to do would be to even hint that they are mentally ill.

On the other hand, those with psychotic personality disorders are often committed to mental institutions or otherwise pressured to seek professional help. And many have been able to lead far happier and better adjusted lives because of it.