Chapter 8

Three weeks later, Barbara had learned how to survive in a reform school, and she was well liked by all the girls there. Actually, she liked living where there were no boys to pester her. She was unhappy about the fence around the school, and the strictness of the rules. She hated not being free and she wanted to run away many times, but when it came right down to leaving, she knew that she had no where to go. The only trouble she had was in the second week there. Mary Jane, her roommate, had tried to make lesbian love to her, and she had fought her off. Barbara was shocked when the girl gave up and went back to her own bunk. She had been sure that she was going to be raped again, but the girl never tried it again and they had become good friends.

She had not heard a word from her aunt and, furthermore, she never wanted to see her or her family again. Only, it would be nice if she had someone who cared enough to say they were sorry.

Now, she was sitting in the kitchen of the school, peeling potatoes. She was on cooking duty, but she did not mind. She had rather work in the kitchen than any of the other jobs. She could get away from the incessant chatter of the girls and think about the good times she had with her parents and pretend that she was in her own kitchen. Her mother and father had become very real to her here in the reform school, and she went to sleep each night thinking about their love and kindness. It had kept her from hating the whole world when she thought about the injustice her aunt had heaped on her innocent young body.

Suddenly, she heard someone coming down the hall, and she looked up to see the matron hurrying toward her.

"Barbara! Guess what! There's someone here to see you."

"I don't know anyone," she said, thinking that it was a mistake.

"It's your Aunt Lena. She wants to talk to you."

"I have nothing to say to her," Barbara snapped, her hands trembling with rage building up inside her youthful body.

"Don't you remember what I told you? You must forgive and forget," the matron said soothingly. "We believe you, but until she tells us differently, we must go by the evidence."

"I know! But ... but ... I'm innocent!"

"Look, honey. Be a good girl and see her. I don't want to force you to talk to her. It won't hurt to listen to her," the matron said as she smiled. "The potatoes can wait. Go to the social hall. She's waiting for you."

"I don't want to see her."

"But, you must! She looks like a nice lady," the matron said in surprise.

"I don't have anything to say. She sent me here."

"I know, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't love you."

"Yes it does! She sent me away and I hadn't done anything wrong."

"Now, Barbara. You were a bad girl. She sent you here for your own good. You should thank her for being concerned about you."

"That's what you think! She's mean."

"I don't believe that," the matron soothed. "You must see her before she leaves. Don't be a bad girl and make me have to punish you."

"Yes ma'am," Barbara answered obediently, as she got up and numbly moved toward the social hall. She didn't care what her Aunt Lena said, she would hate the older woman for the rest of her life. Nothing would ever change it!

When she entered the big room where the girls entertained themselves and their guests, she saw her aunt sitting in a chair across the room, her shoulders bowed and her eyes on the floor. Momentarily, she felt sorry for the older woman, but then all the hate returned to her heavy heart, and she wanted to scratch her eyes out. She forced herself to stay calm, stopped in front of her aunt, and asked, "What do you want?"

Lena looked up at her niece and tears filled her red-rimmed eyes as she choked, "Barbara ... forgive ... forgive me ... Oh God! I ... I didn't know...."

"You didn't care either, did you?" she snapped.

"I ... I don't know what to say ... I ... I didn't want to believe what you told me," Lena stammered. "You were talking about my husband. And my sons! How could I believe you were telling the truth?"

"Now you know better?" she asked, fighting to control her anger.

"Yes ... yes, I do ... Donald told me the truth ... he said ... he told me everything except about Bart," Lena choked, her voice a blur of anguish and suffering for the wrong she had done her orphaned niece. "I made Bart ... tell me ... what he did."

"So! What difference does it make now? Why didn't you try to find out whether I was telling the truth or not?"

"I ... I don't know. You're right of course ... I'm the one who ought to be in prison." The sobs took Lena's voice and she shook with the force of her tears.

Barbara stood silently, feeling no pity for the older woman. Once, she had loved her, but now, there was only emptiness inside her unhappy young body. She had suffered as no human being should ever suffer! Not only had her parents been torn away from her, but she had also been betrayed by her only living relative. How was she supposed to feel?

"Barbara ... come home with me," Lena gasped as she saw her niece turning to leave. "Please come home with me. Give us another chance."

"No," she said simply.

"Les is sorry! So is Bart! Donald loves you ... and so do I."

"That's a bunch of shit! Your guilty conscience hurts you. You want me to come back so you'll feel better."

"I ... I want to take care of you," Lena said helplessly.

"No! Never! I'd rather be in this stinking joint than at your nut farm," Barbara shouted and turned away from her suffering aunt. Then she ran from the room, never looking back.

The girl was due for some good luck, and it finally came her way. After just three months in the institution, she was assigned, on one of their rehabilitation programs, to work in the home of a wealthy family in a nearby city. They had a handsome son in college, and he came home weekends and summers and holidays. You know the rest of the story ... Barbara's wedding followed immediately his graduation ceremony.