Chapter 8

The next morning, which did not occur for Vanessa until just before noon, she and Dalton awoke next to each other, with the sunlight streaming in the window.

"I'm going to take a shower,' Vanessa asked. "Are you?"

"You can go first," he said.

"Or we can both go together."

Dalton shrugged his shoulders. "All right," he smiled.

Like the night before, the whole affair was entirely platonic-but very warm, and very comforting.

"Shirley's getting here at about three," Vanessa said, as she soaped Dalton's back. He said nothing.

"Tell me something," she said.

"What?"

"Can I call you something besides Professor Dalton -in private, at least?"

"How do you know you'll need to call me anything in private?"

She leaned around and looked at Mm. "We're in private right now."

"You can call me Richard," he said. "That's a little formal sounding still, but that's what everybody calls me."

After Vanessa had washed his back, Richard washed hers. He was very gentle. "You've given me a lot," he said. "I haven't given you anything."

"You're making up for it," she said, as his fingers worked into her muscles, relaxing her all over. "Is that as low as you're going to go?" His hands had stopped at the small of her back. In response, he went lower, soaping her shining buttocks, the soaking hairs of her cunt, and on down her legs to her feet. His touch told Vanessa more than any words could have. She was amazed at the tenderness, the care, that were hidden beneath Richard's cold exterior. When they stepped out of the shower, they dried each other. Each touch was ecstasy. There was no sexuality in it; just warmth, and communication.

Vanessa was dressed and at the door. "Are you going to tell your wife that you made love to me?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he replied, suddenly suspicious. "I did nothing of the sort."

Vanessa shook her head slowly. "If that shower wasn't an act of love, I don't know what was."

Richard smiled. He looked down at the ground, and then up at Vanessa. He looked very deep into her eyes. "If I'm going to be blamed for it, I may as well do it."

"It's a date," Vanessa grinned. "But first you have some things to straighten out with your wife."

"I've got some things to straighten out with myself," he said.

"With her too. Don't let me convince you you're completely wrong."

"Thanks."

Vanessa turned and walked away.

Two days later, she left for Christmas vacation. Hal had gone to New York after escaping from Richard's attack. Peggy and Vanessa had called to tell him it was safe to return, but he'd decided it wasn't worth it. Vanessa was going to Arizona, Peggy to New York, and everyone else was scattering all over the globe.

Vanessa spent an uneventful-at least outwardly- vacation at home. She read, took long walks, went to movies, spent time with her family. By the time she returned to school in January, she had a few things sorted out.

The campus was deep in snow when she arrived back. Somehow, after only a term, the place seemed like more than home to her. She found Peggy reading in their room.

"Hi," she said. "I'm back."

Peggy leapt up and gave her a. big kiss.

"Have a nice vacation?"

"Oh, sure. You know. Just ordinary."

"I've got a proposal for you for the next one."

"What? You mean spring vacation?"

"Yeah. My parents just went and bought this enormous yacht."

"You're kidding. Where the hell do they get all the money?"

"Not from my old man's job, that's for sure. Didn't I ever mention to you that my mother and father together inherited over sixty million dollars?"

"Jesus Christ." Vanessa sat down.

"Well, we won't go into that. It's no big thing. Anyhow, I thought I'd told you. The point is that they've bought this yacht, and it has a crew-a really freaked out crew-of five, and they're sailing to the Bahamas in the spring. Everyone's invited. That is, everyone that had their shit together."

"Damn," said Vanessa. "I wonder if that means Richard and Shirley."

Peggy glanced at her. "You mean you're on a first name basis with Dalton?"

Vanessa glanced up. "Yeah. You seen him?"

"No. He took his wife to some skiing resort that nobody's ever heard of for the whole vacation, Won't be back till classes start tomorrow."

"That's a good sign."

"You really are amazing," Peggy said. "Ifs not enough that you keep him from ripping Hal off. Incidentally, Hal will be in tonight We had some good times in the big city. Anyhow-it's not enough that you do that. You have to convert him to a free love trip."

Vanessa looked up. "I've sort of decided that nothing's free," she said.

Peggy sat down. "That sounds sort of heavy," she said. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing that's too awfully heavy," Vanessa said. "Just that there are all different kinds of relationships, and you have to keep the lands separate, or they all end up being one kind-shallow. See, I've been thinking about this a lot. If you think free love is free sex, then you think that every sex act is lovemaking, But that's bullshit. I mean, you can have sex just for the pure pleasure of it-just like you can eat a good meal for the pleasure of it. But that's not making love, Nothing against it-but you have to distinguish,"

Peggy was quiet. "It's funny," she finally said. "My father came to some very similar conclusions. We talked a lot about that while I was at home."

"Well, that's not surprising," Vanessa told her. "It was your father that started me thinking about it-that night I spent with him. Somehow, I just couldn't lump that in with all that pussy-tasting and cocksucking stuff. I mean, that was fun, it was great, it was lots of laughs-but there's a lot more to Me than that"

"No shit"

"You know," Vanessa said, "it seems as if your old man and I really learned a lot from each other."

Peggy grinned. "Does that mean you'll come spring vacation?"

Vanessa stared at her. "Did you think I ever considered not coming?" She giggled. "You nut," she said, messing Peggy's hair playfully, "it would have to be some awfully heavy shit to keep me away from that Like the end of the world or something."

The time between January and the spring vacation wore on slowly. Vanessa kept her date with Richard-- but not until March. He wasn't ready before that First, Shirley and Richard and Vanessa sat around for long hours, talking and talking and talking, till they knew each other's minds inside and out Toward the end, Hal was included. It took three weeks to clear Richard's mind of his feelings about Hal-but he kept working at it, and Hal kept working at it, and eventually they came to the conclusion that neither had acted terribly well, and that the whole thing had best be forgotten.

One night, late in March, just before the vacation, Richard knocked on Vanessa's door. She opened it, dressed in a pure white evening gown, and stared at Richard in his black suit.

"Well," she said, "are you ready for this?"

He smiled. "As ready as I'll ever be."

It was the night of the Junior Prom, and they had decided to pick this night to open things up a little bit on the campus. Richard was taking Vanessa, and Hal was taking Shirley. There were going to be no bones about it They were going as couples, they were leaving as couples, and they were spending the night as couples. And if the president of the college had anything to say about it-Vanessa had about ten words to say regarding a certain night during the previous fall that would make sure his speech was not too long, and not too caustic.

"Would you like a drink?" said Vanessa.

"I don't need one, if that's what you mean, but I'll take one."

Vanessa handed him a scotch. They stood sipping the cool liquor quietly, gazing out the windows. Then she took Richard's arm, and they left.

It was an interesting evening. Richard and Vanessa danced together and held each other tight, impervious to the stares of some of the faculty members. Richard danced with Peggy, and several other girls. John and Paul cut in on Hal several times. The champagne was flowing, and things were loose. Toward the end of the evening, Richard's hands made their way dangerously far down Vanessa's back as they danced, President Norton, they saw, was watching. After the last dance, they headed for the door, arm in arm, Norton came up to them.

"Professor Dalton," he said, "I think I should have a word with you."

"Anything you can say to me, you can say to Vanessa too," Richard said.

"All right," Norton said, stiffening slightly. "I know you are a tenured faculty member at this institution. I respect you and your work highly. But there are certain points of decorum which must be observed- faculty, students, administration-everyone must adhere to certain ethical standards, I am sure you know what I'm referring to."

Before he got any farther, Vanessa broke in. "Can I talk to you for a moment-alone?"

Richard excused himself to get more champagne.

Norton said his piece, and then Vanessa said hers. After that, Norton had little to say. As Richard returned with two full glasses, he overheard Vanessa saying, "I know you're an accomplished academician, and I respect your work highly. But-why don't you loosen up a little bit? Like-live and let live?" She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, turned to Richard, took her champagne, and they left.

A week later, there was a gathering on a dock in a fashionable yacht harbor on Long Island. A seventy foot yacht was about to leave for Bermuda, and the passengers were boarding. Jay Arden stood at the gangway. Vanessa and Peggy were already in a bar in the after section of the ship, drinking away. They saw Hal approaching with a party of five or six.

"Damn, it looks like they're coming," Vanessa said excitedly.

"Who?"

"Hal's parents. Wow, Look at his father."

Rudy Winters was perhaps fifty. His hair was pure white, but his face was tanned, and he walked like a racehorse getting into the gate. He had thick, powerful shoulders, bright green eyes, and a face that seemed in a perpetual smile.

Hal's mother was some six years younger than her husband, and according to Hal, she hadn't been sitting home knitting while her husband did figure studies of twenty year-old models from Tokyo to Teheran.

"Damn," said Peggy, "these old folks sure have something together. Look at them." They were, indeed, a fine couple. "But who are those chicks with them?"

"Let's see," said Vanessa. "The tall, skinny blonde is a model. She also did a part on Broadway last year. Sylvia Simon. I think that's right. The brunette is a writer. I forget her name. You know that big book on the twenties that came out last year-I forget the name of it. She wrote it"

"Far fucking out."

"And I don't know that taller brunette."

"Well, you will."

"Hey," yelled Peggy excitedly, "here come Richard and Shirley."

Vanessa broke Into a broad smile. "I wasn't sure they'd make it," she said. "Boy, am I glad. This is going to be some trip."

By nightfall, there were sixteen passengers aboard. The lines were let go. The dock drifted away. They were off.

The first event of the trip was a strip poker tournament. There were two tables of eight each, and a complicated system with chips that made sure no one would lose too fast-or too slowly. As usual, Jay had brought an incredible supply of marijuana and hashish aboard, and by the time the game commenced, Vanessa and Peggy could hardly see the table. In her condition, Vanessa was reduced to almost nothing in the first few minutes. She had neglected to wear a bra, and after losing her shoes and stocking, earrings, and hair ribbon in just three games, she sat with her tits bouncing on the table, clad only in her skirt and underpants.

At the other table, Sylvia Simon was also doing what she did best-taking off her clothes. Vanessa stared at her snowy breasts, tipped with rosebud nipples that looked as if they were pushing up out of a ten foot drift, with something akin to envy. Sylvia, whom she had met only briefly, smiled warmly back at her. Vanessa nudged Peggy. "I think we ought to reserve some time for a threesome with her," she said. "I think she's on our wave-length."

"Agreed," said Peggy.

It rapidly developed that the reason the men had wanted to play strip poker was that they knew how to play poker. Shirley was having trouble too, and was soon down to her bikini lace underwear. Watching Richard smiling broadly at her, Vanessa simply could not believe that he was the same man who just a few months before had been ready to shoot someone for laying hands on his wife.

In another half an hour, all the girls were sitting around naked, and only Paul, who had played rather recklessly and-Vanessa suspected-had not exactly played to win, was down as far as his underwear on the male side.

"All right," said Sylvia finally, "enough of this bullshit. I want to call for a women's caucus. I think we've been ripped off."

There were loud cheers and raucous laughter from the women, protesting voices from the men.

"We're going to have a short meeting to decide what should be done," Sylvia went on. "But before we do, I think we should admit that we did lose, although maybe not fair and square, and a deal's a deal. So I think all the girls should stand up on the tables and spread their pussies nice and wide, and wiggle their tits, and let the guys see all the goodies they've uncovered."

With that, she proceeded to follow her own suggestion, climbing up on the table, taking her nipples in her hands, and teasing them upright.

The men applauded.

Vanessa climbed up on her table, and Peggy followed. Vanessa reached down and spread her cunt-lips wide, right in Rudy Winter's face.

"Free lick?" she invited.

Rudy stood up and licked delicately at her. Then he plunged his tongue deep into her cunt, to the applause of everyone present. With great difficulty Vanessa made herself pull away from the pleasant sensation. "That's enough for you," she said.

By this time all the girls had mounted the tables, and some of the guys had begun to remove -their clothes. Suddenly Sylvia called out, "Okay, girls, that's all they won. Let's go have a little meeting."

The girls trooped out-leaving, as Vanessa noticed, a few flagpoles that were gradually lowering to half mast.

The girls filed into the dining room, and Sylvia locked the door. She started to pull the curtains, but then changed her mind. "Let 'em look in," she said. "It'll let 'em see what they're missing." She pulled up a chair, got a. fork from the cabinet to use for a gavel, and called the meeting to order.

"Now I'll tell you what I think," she said. Then she laughed, slapped her knee, and took a drink. 'I think there's a bunch of really nice looking pussy in here, and I don't know what you girls are into, but I think we should all have some of it ourselves before we let the men have any,"

Cheers echoed through the room. Vanessa searched for Shirley, wondering how she would be tacking this. It might be too abrupt a step for her. She found Shirley looking straight back at her, with a great deal of passion in her eyes. She made up her mind that she would take care of Shirley, and everything would be all right.

" ... so," Sylvia was rambling on, "I have a suggestion. I think we should turn out the lights, and gather in a big group on the floor here, and find out what we're all about"

Even before she stopped talking, the lights went out Vanessa called softly to Shirley in the dark, and found her easily. Shirley melted into her arms. The feeling of Shirley's breasts against hers was exhilarating, and the pent-up desires that she had first felt watching the photo session with Hal and Shirley-that had only partially dissipated with their later encounter in the stream-now flooded back more strongly than ever.

She let her hands wander down to those beautiful buttocks, grasping their full flesh and now, with fingertips infinitely more sensitive than they had been a few months earlier, feeling the smooth texture of the skin.

Shirley surprised Vanessa by taking her face in her hands and kissing her squarely in the mouth. Vanessa's heart jumped. She herself, she now realized, had been prepared more for sex than for love-and this was completely and frankly an act of love.

"Do you want to stay here?" Vanessa whispered.

In the dark, lightened a bit by the moon outside the portholes she saw Shirley smile. "Yes," she said. "This is beautiful. I -don't feel the same way about the others as I do about you. I really love you, you know." Vanessa felt herself blushing. "But that doesn't matter. I'd like to stay with you for a while, though."

They settled down to the floor, face to face, locked in an embrace that was at once firm and incredibly tender. Vanessa put her lips to Shirley's, and eased her tongue into Shirley's mouth. The softness was surprising. She was used to men's kisses-hard, demanding most of the time, only occasionally subtle and tender. She seemed to melt into Shirley now, as her hands dropped once more to hold her buttocks.

"I'd like to kiss your cunt," Shirley breathed into Vanessa's ear. The stark sensuality jumped Vanessa's affectionate feelings to a new level of passion-without destroying for a moment the affection. The two women shifted position, and in seconds Vanessa was breathing the deep, clean odor of Shirley's pussy.

She remembered every bit of it; the full, almost overfull lips; the soft, inviting hole; the eager, stubby clitoris. She and Shirley penetrated each other at the same instant, and soon were oblivious to anything else.

All around them, there were moanings and noises of sex. Vanessa opened her eyes long enough to see Peggy making love with Sylvia and the unidentified brunette Hal's father had brought. It looked good to her. After a time, Shirley also looked up and glanced around.

"Shall we go over there?" Shirley asked. They did, and spent another ten or fifteen minutes probing and exploring different bodies. Vanessa was especially excited, as she knew she would be, by Sylvia's. It was slim, and the cunt was spare and tight It was a completely different experience from the loose generosity of Shirley's but it was in many ways as pleasant- especially when Sylvia came to a climax with her clit vibrating a mile a minute against Vanessa's flicking tongue.

After about half an hour of intense activity, things quieted down. There were small conversations, arid a few people were dozing off. "I think it's time to go back outside and see what's coming off," said Sylvia. "Those men have become awfully damned quiet."

She opened the door, and eight naked women wandered out on deck. There was no one there.

"Maybe they're back by the swimming pool," Vanessa suggested. The girls made their way back, turned a corner-and ran straight into an orgy. The men were all piled up in a group, arms and legs going in every direction. Vanessa was surprised to see Richard in the middle, with Hal and Paul. Her jaw dropped about six feet.

"Well, if we can do it, they can do it," Sylvia said gather lamely.

With the arrival of the girls, the men's pile began to break up. Bodies flew into the swimming pool, which was small but comfortable, and others simply flattened out against the deck. Soon there were couples strewn all over the deck, with here and there a threesome of one sort or another, and the sounds of love-making pervaded the air.

Vanessa found herself together with Richard and Shirley. They were off to one side, on a blanket that somehow had been left on the deck.

"Do you know what I'd like?" Vanessa said.

"What?" asked Shirley, her breasts glistening in the moonlight.

"I'd like to watch you two make love." She hesitated. "I think that would be really beautiful"

"That's a novel suggestion. You mean I should make conventional, old fashioned, man-on-top love with my own wife?"

Vanessa laughed. "I know it's hard to comprehend," she said.

Richard and Shirley smiled at each other. To Vanessa, it was plain that there was a river of love and understanding flowing between them. Shirley laid down on her back, spread her legs, and opened her arms. Richard came into them with such complete confidence and trust that it brought tears to Vanessa's eyes, and she knew she had been right when she'd argued that no matter what Shirley's relationship with anyone else, it couldn't take anything away from their marriage-unless one of them let it.

They began to fuck in a rhythm so easy and natural that it made Vanessa wonder how sex could seem so difficult at times. Shirley's ass spread beautifully on the blanket, making a pattern that caused Vanessa's own temperature to rise. She put her fingers to her own cunt and sought out her clit. She began to massage it with the rhythm of the lovemaking before her.

"I have to warn you," Richard said, "that I smoked hashish for the first time tonight, and my head is feeling extremely funny."

"Oh boy," Vanessa said. "Anything could happen. This could be the fuck of the century."

"I smoked some marijuana," admitted Shirley, "and I'm feeling just fine. It's strange. I feel as though my whole body is concentrated between my legs. Or maybe it's as if my cunt had spread out over all of me."

"I know what you mean," said Vanessa. "It happens a lot."

Shirley noticed Vanessa massaging her cunt.

"Are you coming with us?" she asked.

Vanessa smiled. "I'm going to try," she said.

Richard and Shirley turned back to each other. Shirley had had her legs hooked into Richard's, but now she disengaged them and simply thrust them straight up into the air, opening herself up completely and letting her own motions come from her body and hips. Vanessa laid down with her face close to Shirley's cunt. It almost drove her wild to see those full, pink lips pulling in and out, to see the cock disappearing into that smooth, damp hole, to see Shirley's ass pucked up and then loosen as she worked the muscles inside her cunt.

"How are you doing?" Richard asked his wife.

"Fine," she said. "Come up a little bit more on top of me. I need some more friction up there." Shirley turned to Vanessa. "We talk a lot when we fuck," she said. "We don't really need to, but it turns us on. I could just pull him a little bit higher-but it sounds so much nicer to say it. It's like admitting out loud, to the whole world, that you need the other person."

It turned Vanessa on too.

"How are you doing?" Shirley asked Richard.

"Okay," he said, breathing a little heavily. "I might have to slow down in a little bit I'm getting sort of close."

Shirley took a deep breath. "All of a sudden," she said, "so am I. I think it's Vanessa watching us. That really does something to me. I can feel it all the way down in my cunt." Her movements abruptly speeded up, and the sound of Richard's balls smacking on the generous flesh of Shirley's ass echoed in the night.

"Oh shit," said Richard, "that did it. Here I come."

"Oh ... Oh ... OH," screamed Shirley ... " Fuck me ... fuck the shit out of me ... I'm coming ... right ... NOW!"

Her back arched as though she'd been shot, and Richard, the sperm jetting from him in thick, hot streams, dove deep into her, stabbing her again and again, trying to satisfy the longing for complete stimulation brought on by Shirley's climax. Her ass pounded hard against the deck now. The blanket was long lost, and they were fucking on bare wood. Shirley's legs opened and closed, opened and closed, trying to grasp something, trying to hold onto something, and yet trying to keep that same thing moving against her clit and then down deep into her wide-open hole. The sperm flew out of the edges of her cunt, whipped to a froth. "Oh Jesus," she screamed, "I'm still coming, I'M STILL COMINGI!! Oh shit, don't stop," she cried to Richard.

"Damn," said Richard, feeling Ms organ shrinking involuntarily.

"Oh Richard," she said, "I love you," her hips still pounding away in the middle of an orgasm while she tried to console her husband that his organ-like everyone else's-shrunk automatically after it had discharged its load of sperm.

Vanessa was aware that something very weird was happening. She had never seen anyone come for so long before. It had seemed like an hour, but she realized it was probably no longer than fifteen or twenty seconds. And yet-it was still happening.

She looked up to see Hal beside her. "Hal," she said, "she's really stoned on grass-she never smoked before-and she just keeps coming ... "

Richard looked up and saw Hal. "Come here," he said. Then he turned to Vanessa. "Here's Hal," he said. Then he laughed. "I'm bailing out. But I'll be back."

In an instant, Richard pulled out, and Hal replaced him, ramming his fresh, hard organ home.

Shirley screamed again, and her body rippled in response. Her mouth was hanging open as she sucked in air, and her eyes were closed tight. She grabbed Hal and began fucking him as hard as she could. Meanwhile, Richard had collapsed into Vanessa's arms.

"A while ago I would have felt bad about that," he said. "But that's ridiculous. I never saw anybody in a state like that before. Do you think she's all right? I mean-she's been in a state of orgasm now for almost a minute."

Vanessa laughed. "She's fine," she assured him. "I've had that happen to me. It's not really a physical orgasm after the first few seconds-but it's just that the dope gets your mind on this weird trip, and you get all the effects of an orgasm. It's a total thing. It's not anything like a genital thing any more. It's completely overwhelming."

Hal had been drawn into Shirley like a ship into a whirlpool, and could not keep from coming almost immediately himself. Now he was suffering the same fate as Richard had-he was gasping and losing power like an old car engine. Vanessa had never seen anyone with control like Hal's before, but she had never seen anyone move like Shirley was. She was still going in twenty different directions at once.

"My God," said Hal, half frustrated and half laughing, I'm fucking shot. Well-who the hell's next?"

Vanessa looked around, but there was nobody in sight. Then she caught sight of Paul across the pool "Hey Paul," she yelled, "get your fucking organ over here. It's an emergency."

Paul rushed over, organ in hand. "Where's the fire," he asked.

"Right there," said Richard, pointing, "and if you can put it out, you're a better man than we are."

If Hal can't do it I can't do it," he said, "but I'll sure as hell have fun trying."

The switch was completed. In approximately thirty seconds Paul was swept away too.

By this time Shirley was starting to come down. "Richard," she said. "Come back."

By this time Richard was able to maintain an erection, and he returned to the scene of the crime. Shirley was totally obliterated. She clutched him tightly as he fitted his cock into her now completely red cunt, and started pumping away. Shirley was laughing and crying at the same time-laughing because although she had been somewhere else, she had been aware of everything that had gone on, and it was incredibly hysterical-and crying because she had just gone through an incredibly wearing, and yet incredibly fulfilling, emotional experience.

Richard pumped slowly into her. Occasionally still spasms of orgasm would cross her, and she would shudder. But they were rare.

"I've got a surprise for you," said Richard. Tm going to come again."

"Oh, that would be wonderful. Oh, shoot inside me, please come ... "

Richard stroked slowly, deliberately, evenly. Shirley opened her eyes and looked into his.

"Here it comes," he said, "and I want you to tell me just how it feels. It's coming ... right ... NOW."

"Oh, OH." Shirley groaned, "it feels ... hot and wet . , . it's gushy and it feels like a fucking swamp ... Iloveit ... ILOVEIT ... "

Then they both collapsed.

Vanessa didn't know what to say. Their bodies were glued together, and they were drifting off to sleep. She retrieved the blanket that was crumbled in a heap nearby and put it over them. "Amen," she said.

For the next few days the yacht made a leisurely path toward the Bahamas. The farther south they went, the more sunshine and clear water they ran into. Vanessa had once been thrilled, in a way, by the immensity and closeness of New York City, with its teeming people, its variety of sights and sounds and noises. Now, she was sailing into simplicity itself: sky, wind, sun, and water. She sat out on the deck reading, or talking with the others. Rudy Winters offered to help her learn how to use a camera-and while that task would normally have fallen to Hal, he deferred cheerfully to his father. Jay would sit on the deck, blowing on any one of a number of instruments. Somehow trumpets, clarinets, and saxophones sounded clear and uncomplicated in the new atmosphere, and the lilting sounds of jazz themes set a tone for the cruise that was pleasant and yet at times inspiring.

There was one thing that Vanessa particularly enjoyed about the trip. In almost every social situation she had ever been in, sexual tensions had complicated life. Everyone was always wondering whether someone else found them attractive, would go to bed with them, would reject them. Everyone was worried about the reactions of others-jealously, approval, disapproval. Needless to say, there was no such tension aboard the yacht. And yet, Vanessa was relieved to find that the shallowness that had characterized some of her earlier sexual escapades was entirely absent The fact was that with so much easy sex to be had, the question was no longer whether it would happen. The question was how it would happen-and the answer always turned out to be positive. Ironically, a trip that had been anticipated by all as a carefree round of orgies became a trip characterized by a number of new and profound relationships. Sex was still prominent-but .with fewer people bothering to wear clothes at all as the weather grew warmer, the emphasis on sheer genital desire was gone. There was no purely physical curiosity anymore. All curiosity was intimately bound up with the whole psyche of the other person involved.

One of Vanessa's greatest amusements was the crew. Jay had carefully selected them-four males and one female, who oddly enough worked on the engine- and they could be seen as often as not wandering among the passengers in the nude, conversing intelligently and also fitting in, in a number of other ways. Gloria, the mechanic, maintained that she had an advantage over the other mechanic, a male, who for safety reasons always had to wear something while working. Gloria, as she pointed out, had no dangling appendages that were likely to be gobbled up by whirling machines. Vanessa learned that she had gone to a famous college and studied art, and then had gone on to a technical school to learn about machines, just for the fun of it.

Vanessa spent her night with different people- sometimes with Richard and Shirley, sometimes with Hal, and sometimes with Jay. Jay was rapidly becoming her favorite. She had not believed that a repeat of their incredible experience in the New York apartment could be possible. At first, she tried to think of it as a fluke, a one night thing of beauty that, like an art work, could never be reconstructed. In one way, she was right:, it was never exactly the same. In another, she was wrong: it got better.

Jay, always overwhelmingly considerate, had ordered a darkroom built aboard the yacht in preparation for Hal and Rudy's presence. Now Vanessa could see her work only hours after she'd taken a roll of pictures. She found that the famous writer aboard-whose name was Barbara Banton-took a considerable interest both in her pictures and in her ideas, and the two women spent long hours talking about many different topics. In fact, they decided to do a new kind of book-a fantasy built around their experience on the ship, illustrated with photographs taken by Vanessa under Hal's direction. Vanessa found that Barbara understood her ideas and put them into words even better than she did.

One evening, they were talking to Richard and Shirley about the proposed book. Richard was strangely silent.

"What's the matter with you?" Vanessa asked him. "Getting seasick?"

"No," Shirley answered for him. "He's just thinking. You see, Richard's been writing some things-mostly poetry-since we left"

Barbara looked up. "That's what the book needs," she said. Richard smiled.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," he said, "about some things Vanessa said to me once-about success on my own terms, and about being honest with myself. I've decided to quit my job at the college. We're going to move to New York. Shirley's going to do some modeling. Rudy's said he can use her. She's going to take some acting lessons. I'm going to try writing poetry for a while."

Vanessa smiled as deeply as she ever had. "I don't know," she said frankly, "it's a risk. But you have to take it, don't you?"

"Yes."

"That's nice."

The trip continued to go along smoothly. The night before the boat was scheduled to arrive in the Bahamas, Jay produced a surprise. "I've got some stuff here that some of you may be interested in," he said. "It's called mescaline." It was at the dinner table. "Any of you ever taken it before?" All the young people except Vanessa had. The older ones-except Jay-hadn't.

"Well," he said, "I'll tell you what it's like. It's fantastically physical-especially visual. It's not like LSD because although it can lead to some pretty heavy emotional experiences, you are in no danger of losing control of yourself-at least that's my experience. The Indians, or some of them, have been using organic mescaline in their religious ceremonies for centuries. There's only one problem with organic mescaline. It makes you throw up. The stuff I have is synthetic. I propose that we have our own religious-or whatever you want to call it-rites tonight" With that, he produced a pill bottle from his pocket, took out a capsule, and downed it. "Anybody else?"

In fact, it turned out to be everybody else. Normally few of them would have done it-but the atmosphere aboard the boat was so relaxed and trusting that no one was afraid. They continued on with their dinner, "It'll take maybe an hour before you feel anything," Jay told them. "And when you start to go up, you'll know."

They did. An hour later, Vanessa was sitting by the side of the pool with Peggy, Hal, and Jay, watching the sun go down. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, everything seemed very funny to her. She began laughing. It was a deep, completely spontaneous laughter. She started making jokes and atrocious puns. Soon the rest of them had collapsed onto the deck or fallen into the water, they were laughing so hard. From other parts of the ship, they could hear more gales of laughter.

When she had somewhat recovered her composure, Vanessa felt completely purged. She felt as though a clean current had run through her, washing out all the accumulated poisons of her past with an undeniable sense of the complete absurdity of the pettiness of everyday life. The sun was just beginning to sink, and the horizon, covered with a thin, high layer of clouds, vibrated as though it was completely on fire. Everyone gathered at the rail and simply stared at it. Ribbons of light waved out there, as though blown by a secret breeze. It looked as though the world was coming to an end. The profundity of every sunset, and the miracle of every sunrise, played an almost religious drama of death and resurrection before them. But at the same time, the fertility, the vibrancy, of life was reaffirmed. It all seemed like some glorious lovemaking act.

When the sun had gone down, the group gathered in a lounge hung with scarlet draperies that had little gold threads running through them. As usual, there were no clothes in the crowd, and suddenly Vanessa felt the full strangeness of the gathering. The drug had the effect, like marijuana, of separating moments of time from one another-but unlike marijuana, it presented them not in a sort of heady abstractness, but in a tangible concreteness full of visual stimulation.

Vanessa went over to Shirley, who was sitting alone, gazing at the curtains.

"Look," said Shirley, as she recognized Vanessa's presence. "Look at these curtains. They look as if they're three feet deep. Look at all the levels-how deep the gold threads are. And look at the flashes of light running over the surface in different patterns."

Vanessa followed Shirley's gaze for a while, completely forgetful of everything she had ever experienced before. Then she turned her attention to Shirley, whose auburn hair made her think immediately of the mane of a spirited horse as it waved gently in the breeze. She stroked it, completely absorbed, Shirley looked up at her.

"You have fantastic eyes," Shirley said. "I can see right through you. It's not as if you're not there. It's as if you were the whole world. Everything is right there."

Richard came up to them. He seemed like a spirit, intruding into Vanessa's visual field. His smile seemed like sunshine. He touched Vanessa on the shoulder. Her body seemed to melt, and all of it came alive. Richard ran his hand down to her breast. She could almost feel the tiny veins in it swelling. The nipple puffed up. It became red. Suddenly it looked scarlet- the same color as the waving curtains. Vanessa could almost see the blood in it. But she wasn't, oddly enough, frightened by it. She realized abstractly that her body was no more than a sack of blood, bones, and muscle, held in by the thin layer of her skin. She realized that if her skin did not exist, she would simply dissipate. She would die. But that was not so bad. She could become part of the sunset, part of the curtain.

Jay appeared. Gina was with him. "Jesus," he said, shacking his head to try to bring himself down for a minute, "It's like a dance. Turn around. Look at the people."

They turned around. Jay was right. People were walking around the room. Some were embracing, or were in the early stages of making love. It was like a ballet. Suddenly the flesh before them seemed incredibly real. Everyone's whole being was concentrated on his outer surfaces. Jay put his arms around Vanessa, and she could swear that their veins opened, and their blood mingled. She reached out and touched Shirley's waist, pulling her near. Her hands began to explore Shirley's body. Suddenly she was at the center of a group of people. There was flesh everywhere, kissing, touching, whispering. The whispering was like the breeze. The words were not important. They seemed empty, like the wind. But the intensely human sounds, the strange variations, played like a soft rhythm beneath the sounds of the ocean and the moving people. It was as if a hidden drummer was playing softly on cymbals with a brush.

Someone lit two. candles on a table at the center of the room. They cast a primitive light, starkly outlining faces and bodies, thrusting high points outward and making low places retreat in a dense blackness of shadow. Vanessa had the feeling that they were cast back thousands, millions of years. All of the trappings of society were irrelevant, and there was simply a group of people, floating on an ocean a mile deep, trusting their ship, trusting the water and the sky, and trusting each other. The ritual had begun.

Jay disappeared and returned with a clarinet. Its high, Kiting notes touched Vanessa everywhere. They floated like gentle fingers through the air. She felt-the passion rising in her. She was still in the center of the group, with Shirley, and Richard, and Hal, and everyone else nearby. Jay was sitting off to the side, playing softly, like Pan, his hair tangled with the wind.

The walls of the room began to move, They were breathing, in and out, in a steady rhythm. Ordinarily such hallucinations would have been terrifying-but the walls were breathing with them, and it was comfortable. The curtains swayed to the music. The ceiling rippled like water.

Vanessa found herself running her mouth over someone's body. She did not know whose. It was female. She ran her tongue along a thigh. The legs opened. Vanessa's tongue licked the forest of dark hair, and then pried at the opening, exposing pure, pink lips glistening with secretions. She was lost in a strange valley of pleasure. Ahead of her, a monument of flesh arose. Her tongue climbed it. It shuddered, and the whole valley began to churn. A cave opened up.

Gradually, Vanessa began to be aware that someone was making love to her. She could not tell at first whether it was a tongue, or a finger, or the head of a cock that was bouncing gently off her clit, making her entire body ripple. She looked down. There was no one there. For a moment, she was scared. Then she looked up. Jay was staring at her, playing the clarinet. He blew a high note, and Vanessa's clit tingled as though it had been touched. It was the music. The music was making love to her. Jay was making love to her, through the air. Through thin air.

Vanessa had a few times before, under the influence of marijuana, felt as though her body had disintegrated when she was making love; she had felt disembodied, and completely spiritual. Now, she had a different sensation. Her body had melted into the air, and it was everywhere.

Jay put down the clarinet and moved toward her. It was as if there was no motion. Her body was extended in the air, and he moved through it, along it, till he came to her center. She thrust her legs up into the air, exposing her cunt completely. Like a river, Jay flowed into it Colors were mingling with sounds and sensations. As Jay penetrated her, Vanessa felt blue, then green, and finally, pink that turned to scarlet. The colors pervaded her. She was not seeing them; she was them. Time was nothing more than the flow of beautiful colors, like a liquid kaleidoscope.

Vanessa still had her face buried in what she now recognized as Shirley's cunt. The full lips quivered. She glanced up, as Jay began to pump more music, more color, more sensation, into her. Shirley had her hands fastened around Richard's cock, and was staring at it. Gradually, people started to connect Shirley's mouth came down hard on Richard's cock, swallowing it up. The feeling was the same for Richard, for Vanessa, for everyone. They all literally shared his ecstatic sensation as it coursed through them in the totally fluid atmosphere of the magic room.

Peggy appeared. Richard grasped her and shoved his tongue into her waiting cunt Again, Vanessa felt it deep in her insides. More people were added to the conglomeration. The rhythm started to mount. The candles flickered. Suddenly they were going on and off like strobe lights, in a weird, primitive rhythm. The breathing and whispering in the room orchestrated there alterations of light and dark. It was daytime, then night, then daytime again, in an instant. The earth began to spin. They were all at the center of it, whirling in its molten core. Their insides were the earth's insides, as they all began to make love together. Vanessa saw cattails dancing in the breeze, sea gulls hovering over white surf. Sexual symbols: the cattails for the male organ, waving in desire. The ocean for the female organ, frothy with the white surf of union.

Everything was coming to a climax, and yet nothing was happening. Jay's cock pumped into Vanessa and then drew out again. Every thrust of his hard, insistent organ into her was the beginning of the world, the flood tide, the birth of life. Every withdrawal was sadness and pain. She tried to transcend it, and she succeeded. The withdrawals were necessary for the newer and more profound entries to take place.

All of the bodies were moving with the room, and yet nothing was moving. Vanessa had the feeling that time was suspended, that their lovemaking would go on forever. Yet soon, very soon, she knew, it would be coming to a climax. The whole world would burst open in orgasm.

It was like a violin string, being played and being tightened at the same time. It would have to break.

Suddenly Vanessa was aware of the sheer physicality of it Jay's cock was making itself felt in her cunt. She closed on it, and felt its contours. Every bit of flesh, every vein, was hers. In her mouth, Shirley's clit was banging away at a furious rate. The room was filled with chaotic noise, and yet somehow it was composed.

Vanessa felt someone, somewhere, starring to come. She didn't know how she felt it; she only knew she did. The thought, and the feeling of Jay's rising passion coursing through her own veins, ripped her open. She exploded like a ripe fruit. Her juices erupted like a fountain. There was wetness everywhere. She had been dropped into the ocean. She was expanding on it like a slick of oil, spreading out in radiant colors that changed to the colors of the sunset, From faraway, she heard herself scream at the top of her lungs. It was but a poor attempt to express the overwhelming passion she felt. Her skin, though soaking, felt parched, and she cried out for more. Jay responded. She felt his organ suddenly blow up, like a huge balloon, and burst. She was swallowing Shirley's juices, which flowed down her throat like a river. Inside her Jay's sperm was swimming, flowing, coursing through her like a whirlpool gone wild. Jay and Shirley were meeting inside her. Everyone was meeting inside everyone else. -Outsides had become in-sides. Space collapsed. Everyone was one person.

The ship sailed on, its bow cutting the waters like a knife. It was going from everywhere to everywhere, and everyone was on it. The sun had gone down. But inside, it was rising. The ocean swells rolled on under the ship, and the breeze swept lightly across its decks. For Vanessa, and for everyone aboard, a voyage was under way that continually began, and continually ended, and began again. Wherever the ship went, the voyage would continue. Even after it had rotted in a shipyard or sunk to the bottom of the ocean, the voyage would go on endlessly, circling the globe around and around.