Epilogue
The brother and sister waited for the two days that remained of the boy's vacation-waited for a call from the other, expecting one-and dreading it. Jill dreaded it more especially. Her reconciliation with David had caused a rush of remorse with regard to her incestuous affair. Looking back over the summer, the whole thing seemed worse than perverse-grotesque, actually.
Christopher, for his part, had realized how much he wanted Lisa-and needed her, needed her more than he had ever needed his sister. He felt ashamed, but what was worse he was afraid, though he couldn't localize his fear enough to figure out of what he was afraid. Perhaps it was still the fear of discovery-that his parents might find out, that Lisa might find out, that David might. But maybe, he was coming to think, it was that Jill would want him this way forever, would want to take possession-of course, he realized how melodramatic it sounded-of his soul. At the same time the opposite situation frightened him. If the affair ended, could they ever be close again? Could they ever pretend they were, after all, just brother and sister?
The very last night before he was to leave, Christopher and Jill were to have dinner at their parents' house, and with them came David, Lisa, and the Brennan's two children.
After dinner, Jul complained of feeling overfull, and playfully asked Christopher if he'd walk around the block with her-"one last walk with my little brother," as she said. No one-not even Christopher-knew how brave she had to be to volunteer to be alone with him.
Out on the street, she took his hand in her own. "I have something to tell you-"
"I have something to tell you," Christopher said, his face pained as he looked into her eyes, but he did not go on. They walked in silence for a few moments.
"I've reconciled with David." The words filled Christopher with relief, even though he had come to view David himself with distrust during the last few months after everything Jill had told him about.
"I'm sorry," she went on, seeing him caught in his own thoughts.
Chris looked at her and smiled. "I'm happy for you. I really am. It's the best thing."
They continued to walk. "And what did you have to say to me?"
"Lisa and I-we're together now. Really together. We made love for the first time."
Jill couldn't help the flicker of jealousy that burned. through her mind, but she was genuinely happy. This seemed to plaster over the break between Chris and herself, ease his pain as David had eased her own. "And I'm glad for you. I mean that."
"I care about you a lot, Jill."
"I love you. Whatever way-" Tears filled her eyes and she stopped in mid-step. 'Whatever way, I love you."
"Will it ever be the same?" he asked her.
"You know the saying-that you never even step into the same river twice. But maybe it can be good again. The right way."
Chris leaned forward, and she thought he might kiss her mouth, but instead he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. Her lips pressed against his shoulder and she squeezed him. Loving him, feeling his love for her.