Chapter 5
I sat at the desk facing the window and stared out at the morning sunlight. My mood was getting lower and lower every moment. I also was filled with tension over the situation at the house. Auntie had gone away for a couple of weeks to lecture at a seminar and Cranston was never home. The last time I had seen him was two days ago and that was a really bad scene. He had told me that I had no feelings for anyone but myself and lots of other really ugly things. I had ended the scene by locking the door to my room and going to bed that night without eating. As for Wendy, she was always busy with her boyfriend. I think she knew that I was no longer seeing Cranston, but that didn't help her feelings for me any. She usually avoided me entirely or if we happened to meet, she gave me a polite smile and maybe a hello. I spent a lot of time staring at her comings and goings with her boyfriend.
The last good time I had had was with Audrey the night of Greg's party. We had gotten so drunk and silly afterwards at some little bar, that had been a helluva good time! I imagined my pussy was still in her warm mouth, even though I hadn't seen her except once since then. And that hid been much too short, and we were unable to have sex or even touch each other. I talked to her every day, but that, too, was very frustrating to me. I simply had to find something to do until school started!
I heard the telephone ringing and went to answer it, my voice panting from running down the long hall.
"Hello, Camille, baby, it's Audrey."
"Hi, what's up?"
"Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news, so don't get too upset with me."
'What is it?" I asked, scared to listen. I had a sinking feeling inside that she was going to break our date for tomorrow night.
"I have to go away for the weekend with Meredith. It really can't be avoided, and I am sorry. I miss you so much."
"I'll bet."
"Don't be sarcastic, dear, it can't be helped."
'Wouldn't you rather be with me instead of that old hag?"
"Camille, you listen to me. I will not have you speaking of Meredith that way! Of course, I would like to be with you and well be together-soon, but not this weekend. Try to act your age."
"Try to act my age! You sound like my dead mother!"
I hung up on her and ran back to my room, I didn't want to risk seeing anyone. I heard the phone ringing and ringing but apparently no one was here to answer it. I knew it was Audrey calling me back, but I didn't care. She had no right to think she could boss me around! It just didn't make any sense at all that she would rather be with Meredith. She was ugly, and old!
I quickly realized that I had to get out of the house today. I couldn't allow myself to sit here and let the minutes drag by. I reached for the train schedule and checked the ones leaving for Boston. I would go into Boston today! Throwing on some suitable clothes and collecting my money, I left the house. I managed to get to the station just in time for the train that was there. Taking a seat by the window, I closed my eyes and let everything sink in. Audrey was no good for me, that was clear. All she did was upset me and she wasn't going to leave Meredith to be with me-any time at all. I had been rejected by her, plain and simple. Then why was I having such a hard time accepting the fact?
My looks were certainly better than Meredith's. I had full, youthful breasts; Meredith's sagged. I wasn't wrinkled at all, and she was. I had lovely strawberry blonde hair; she had gray in her hair. Crazy! What she could she do for Audrey that I couldn't do? Maybe there was something sexually that I didn't know. Maybe I was still too inexperienced for Audrey's tastes. Who knows?
I sat back in my seat and tried to get interested in the passing landscape, but it was no use. Then I decided what I would do in Boston-I would buy everything I could that had to do with sex! I ,knew there was probably a lot I didn't know, so I would learn. I would buy books and magazines, everything! That might help....
Late that evening I returned from Boston, my arms full of packages. My legs were exhausted from walking all over the city, but my mind was alert, craving to see and examine closely my purchases. I crept up to my bedroom, after first getting a beer from the refrigerator, and locked the door. The house was creepy silent and I knew that no one was home, but I locked the door anyway.
Just then the telephone rang. I didn't think it could be Audrey, but I went to answer it anyway.
"Hello, is Wendy there?"
"No, she's not. May I take a message?"
"Is this Camille? This is Clara."
"Oh, hi! How are you doing lately? I haven't seen you in weeks."
"I've been positively snowed under with work. My thesis is due at the end of the month, and I haven't even had time for a lousy date."
"Yeah, Wendy is busy, too. I'm the only one around here with nothing to do."
"Oh, really? I saw you last week in Eddie's Bar with that art teacher at school. I thought maybe she was keeping you occupied."
I thought I detected a note of sarcasm in Clara's voice. Had she noticed the two of us kissing each other in that bar? I thought surely the lights were too low to even be recognized.
"Not really, I met her at a party Greg had. She's really nice."
"So I've heard. Better be careful with her, or you'll get some reputation around campus."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Clara."
"This-that the old lady is a dyke and any girl she takes a hankering to had better watch out! I've heard plenty of stories about her and that crazy woman she lives with . . . there's always something weird going on with her. You should stay away from her."
'Well, thanks for the advice, Clara, but I don't think I need it. I can handle things myself. Besides, she didn't try anything with me."
I felt I had to defend myself against Clara's thought. I didn't want Clara to think badly of me, she was too nice to me. At the same time, I didn't especially want someone else trying to tell me what to do. Everyone had advice for poor little Camille!... and I was sick of it!
"Well, take care. Tell Wendy to give me a buzz if you see her."
"Okay. Listen, Clara, why don't you come over for a while if you're not doing anything? Maybe we could go to a movie or something?"
"I'd like to, kid, but I've got work to do. Maybe sometime next week, the pressure should be off by then. Bye."
"Good-bye." I hung up the phone slowly and walked back to my room. Shit, shit, shit! Why did I blow things with her? She must think something is going on with me and Audrey, or else she would have come over. I'll bet if Wendy had been here, she would have come.
I almost forgot about her as I spotted all my bags on the bed. I again locked the door and opened the can of beer. I first took out my carton of cigarettes-my first!. Now I wouldn't have to borrow from Cranston any more. I emptied one bag on the bed-out fell lots of magazines, the kind with pictures of naked women on the front. I felt my heart beginning to pound as I scrutinized the women. Most of the women weren't too good-looking, but I selected the ones with the sexiest women for my attention later. The next bag was my prize-it held two goodies I One of the things was what the little old man had told me was called a dildo. It looked just like a real cock! It was pink, fleshy pink, and even had a head on it just like a cock. The veins were even there, and it was so much bigger and thicker than Cranston's cock! My next item was the most expensive-a real vibrator, also kind of shaped like a cock, only it was smooth and didn't have a head. It was battery operated and I couldn't wait to figure out how to work it! My last purchases consisted of several books, all about 'How To' do this and that, all sexual things. The one I was going to read first was How To Masturbate. I could use that tonight.
But first I had to set everything up in my room. I turned out the overhead light and turned on the small light by my bed. I pulled the curtains closed and then brought out a candle I had bought. I ht it and placed it on the long table at the end of my bed. I wanted to be able to look into the flame while I played in bed. Next I took an ash tray and my beer over to the night table. Then I took off my clothes-every single thing. My body was anxious for me to begin, and I looked briefly at myself in the mirror before going to the bed. My legs showed some tan and I approved the whiteness of my round breasts. I was ready to begin!
I propped the pillows up behind me so that I could read the instructions. I lit a cigarette and drank some beer before picking up the book on masturbation. The first page didn't make any sense to me-crazy things about how healthy it was to release one's emotions, and other dumb stuff. I didn't need that. Instead, I picked up one of the magazines.
I flipped past the pages of ads and letters and junk until I came to picture of two girls, embracing each other. My pussy began to come to life as I stared at their nude bodies, twisting around each other. I closed my eyes and saw Wendy-her round little body in mine. God, why couldn't she have let me have her that very first night? Things might be very different now if only she had ... I opened my eyes and turned the page. There were the same two girls, with a dildo like mine! One of the girls was holding it in the other one's pussy. The camera had angled in at the spread, reddened cunt lips, the little black hairs clearly visible. Wendy had black hairs, too. I remembered that. I turned to another page and saw the same two girls with another, third, girl! This girl reminded me instantly of Clara! She had the same blonde hair and long body, only Clara was by far the more beautiful. All three girls were entangled, their arms and hands reaching for the delicious parts of the body. Wouldn't it be heaven if I could do that with Wendy and Clara? I knew I was getting very wet just from the thought of such a thing. Audrey was not in my thoughts-she was no longer worthy of me! If she wanted an old woman, I wanted young girls, like me.
Excitedly, I put down the magazine where I could see it and grabbed the vibrator. I read the instructions hastily and opened the box. Thank goodness, the batteries were included! It felt very cold to my hands as I turned the switch on, delighted at the tingling sensation it gave my hand! The low buzz was even arousing as I turned it off to ready myself for its entry.
I let my vision blur as I stared at the magazine, my hands trembling slightly as I ran them lightly over my body. My skin was warm and smooth as I touched my breasts that rose in front of me like two sandy hills, their peaks topped not by snow but by my coral nipples. I went around in slow, easy circles, tracing the outline of my breasts very carefully, the soft flesh melting into my fingertips. I hadn't even touched my nipples and already they were transforming into little twin towers. I touched them cautiously as if they might explode into my face. Taking each nipple between my fingers, I pulled them out from the flesh and twisted them around and around. My hips were undulating on the bed, led by my thoughts and the sensations that were rushing through my body, triggered by my hardened nipples.
I spread my thighs wider as I peered down at the dark triangle, smoldering from the building passion between my legs. I left one hand on my breasts, alternating it between my two mounds, and took the other one in its route down past my navel across my firm stomach to reach the triangle. My prickly, soft hairs were standing on end as I put my fingers into the bush ... I closed my eyes and saw Wendy and Clara, the both of them standing before me and watching, staring with concentrated desire in their eyes. I opened my eyes and looked again at the picture in the magazine of the three girls ... transforming them into the three of us. We were all together, naked, and watching each other as we all discovered our own pussies. I moved my finger down to my hard pleasure button, stroking the wet circle in an even movement and turning my body upwards so that I could almost see myself. I went on the dark, wet hole underneath, its walls ready to burst as I edged one finger in-savoring the completely dripping wetness of my body. I then saw Wendy beginning to eat Clara's pussy, her dark curly head buried in Clara's long, muscular thighs. Their bodies became almost one as I watched them, lost in my fantasy. I was moving faster now, unable to control my wildly gesticulating hips as they bore into the bed and off the bed. I had placed two fingers inside of me, now heartily fucking myself as I continued to imagine Wendy and Clara there with me.
I unconsciously reached for the vibrator and turned its power on. Without even breaking the steady rhythm of my body, I inserted it into my cunt lips, moving it around to tantalize every part of my body. I wanted the feeling of Wendy and Clara, together, climbing over my outstretched body and searching me. I wanted them to lick every part of me, to suck on me, my skin, my lips, everything.... The vibrator was now a huge cock, making its way into my hot, sticky vagina. I lifted my hips high into the air and took in the throbbing, wildly vibrating cock. I thrust it inside forcefully, squeezing my legs together to tighten my hold on it. I went stiff as I felt my body clench and shake with the first stirrings of my exploding orgasm. In and out, wilder and wilder, I began to push and pull it out, heaving my body towards it as I directed its course-trembling violently now and panting louder in the silent room!
Wendy and Clara were there now! They were holding the cock and putting it inside of me, their own cunts wet and sliding its wetness around on my hot thighs. I spread my own juices all over my body with the shaky tip of the vibrator. The sweet, pungent odor of my sex heat had reached my nose and I breathed in to hold this moment, to hang on to everything that I wanted. I groped with my mouth open toward the ceiling, seeing Clara's full breasts hanging in my face as I sucked them dry, pulling harder to gather them up into my mouth. I could see Clara's blonde pubic hairs shining wet and curling in front of me. My mouth was salivating madly as I imagined the taste of her juices. And then-Wendy! Her tight little cunt spread over me so that I could peer into its darkness, her tiny legs wide and open to me. She was offering herself to me as I sucked on her cunt-pulling out every inch of juice that I could!
My entire body shook violently as I slowly thrust the cock into my cunt and held it there-deep inside of me. The orgasm was pouring out from me as I beat my free hand on the bed, pounding away with my fist as I let the waves carry me away-my mind filled with the most vivid images of Wendy and Clara, there in the room with me, their climaxes blending into mine as We galloped together. Instead of stopping with first one orgasm, I pulled the cock out of me and slid it back to my anus, turning on my side to accommodate it more easily. It was dripping wet and humming as it moved, slithering between my spread fanny cheeks. I moved it up and down along the crack, rocking my body to heighten the sensations that were pounding in my ears. I saw Wendy bending over to suck my throbbing clitoris as I played with my ass, toying with it with the white cock and only barely touching the burning hole. I wanted it inside of me there, but I couldn't-not yet. I pulled my left breast with my free hand, turning the nipple every way I could as I beat myself with the vibrator. Ohhhhh ... the glorious feelings that were flowing through my body . . . the whole world should experience this....
I wanted Clara and Wendy, their light and dark bodies wet with mine, real with me, and coming with me-I couldn't stand it any longer, and I thrust the slippery white cock into my anus! My veins were popping with the intensity of my passion as I slid it inside of me, all the while holding fiercely onto my nipple. My body had turned a dark pink and I moaned aloud as I writhed and turned with the pulsations of the cock. I was going to climax-going to fly off with myself, and I threw my head back and rode with the waves that overtook me as I squirmed on the bed. The mattress under me was shaking and helping to send the cock further and further into my anus until I couldn't push it in any further.
"Ohhh, God, God, I'm coming! I'm coming!
Wendy, Clara, Wendy, Clara, suck me, fuck me, fuck me...."
Finally worn completely out by the convulsions of my orgasms, I lay back on the bed, still and silent. My spirited body had reached the top-and I let my breathing calm to reach a normal level. I wiped the perspiration from my brow and glanced at the open magazine, crumpled under my wet body. What an excellent idea that had been! I didn't need books to tell me how to fuck, all I needed was myself and pictures, lovely pictures of beautiful women. Oh, and I can't forget the delightful vibrator-my white cock-my very own cock. I picked it up and stared at the shiny plastic, now quiet and still.
It was then that I thought of Mother Superior and my school, my parents crowding into the picture in my mind. What would they think of me? Did they ever do what I had done? I must be normal, I reassured myself, everybody had desires, wants, mad cravings. But for some reason, I felt that maybe something was missing. I still had a hollow feeling inside of me. There must be more than this. There just had to be. What Wendy had told me might be true after all. There should be some feelings involved. Oh, I thought I loved Audrey, and I did enjoy Cranston. But I knew now that I loved neither of them. I was lustful, that was the truth. I only wanted to satisfy the cravings of my body-like some wild animal that had only just been set free. Well, I had explored some and I didn't doubt that I would continue to explore. But I wanted more-I wanted someone who would care about me the way I cared about them. I wanted to sleep with someone-the whole night long. People in love did that, they didn't sneak around in bathrooms and cars. This much I felt sure of. And I had to have the same thing. I made up my mind I would seek this, I would bury my guilt, and begin anew.
Wendy and Clara were two that I wanted. But I also knew that I wanted more than their bodies and the physical pleasures it would bring to me, I wanted to be their friends, their lovers. I must be patient, I must! I got up from the bed and put on my robe, hiding all my new possessions in a drawer and throwing the beer in the trash. I lit a cigarette and pondered my new idea. I would become chaste again, not let my wild body rule my actions. I could do it, many people did and I would join them. I would be good, like I was in school, and just wait for the right time to come, as I knew it would. I opened the door of my bedroom to go downstairs and I heard noises in the living room. Funny noises.
I quietly crept down the hall toward the steps. Those sounds seemed familiar to me-little moans and some whispered words. Knowing what I thought was down there, I noiselessly climbed down the stairs. When I reached the bottom step, I stood still, holding my breath. They were in the living room, alright, and the wide, double doors were open! I wasn't sure who was in there, but I knew it had to be Wendy or Cranston. I hoped it was Cranston, I didn't know if I could stand seeing Wendy.
I reached the doors and stuck my head around, being very careful not to be seen. It was Wendy!
And her boyfriend! They couldn't see me, their backs were to the door and the lights were low. Wendy had her blouse unbuttoned and I could see the profile of her upturned breasts. That bastard was touching them! I tried hard to control myself, to keep from bursting into the room and stopping them. My eyes were fixed on them and I couldn't move if I wanted to. They were so obviously enraptured with each other that they would never notice my bulging eyes or hear my pounding heart. Wendy's boyfriend didn't appeal tome at all-I didn't like blonde men, only blonde women. I wanted to spit on his shiny blonde hair and claw him away from Wendy. He was stroking her nipples with his fingers and kissing her mouth. I watched as they both eased down from the sofa onto the floor. Only to give me a better view!
My own cunt was still wet from masturbating and it was growing wetter as I watched them! I wanted to be a part of them, I wanted to be able to enter their sexual play and suck Wendy's sweet pussy. That creep couldn't eat her the way I could-I was too sure of that. Only a woman could know what felt the best. The two of them were provoking me, daring me to enter them. At least I imagined this. Wendy would hate me even more if she knew I was hiding there behind the doors, watching her.
He pulled her up to him and took her blouse off. I marveled at her smooth white skin, the perfect curves of her breasts and her thin arms that were wrapped around that bastard's neck. There must be feeling there-he was being all too tender and loving with her, kissing her entire chest lightly, running his tongue along her satin skin. Wendy's head was now held back, so that her long black curls fell back on her shoulders, further emphasizing the whiteness of her skin-the translucent creaminess. Her full, luscious lips were partially open, the curves forming a sexy oval shape and her red tongue flitting in and out as she let the little moans escape. I wanted her more now than I ever had, more even than that first night when she had given me a taste of her. A taste that I had not forgotten.
It was painful to watch as she stretched her body out prone on the carpeted floor. He was now taking her skirt off, carefully and with love. I could see his light eyes growing brighter as he pulled the skirt down her legs, the curves of her thighs and calves now exposed fully. She was wearing nothing under her skirt except a pair of lacy red bikini panties. My mouth watered as I stared at them wistfully. Wendy was going to give herself to him, and I couldn't hate her for it, I could only envy her, envy him the chance to do these things to her. I watched as he stood above her, taking his clothes off. His chest wasn't very hairy, and his skin was firm and young, not like Cranston's. I had never seen a young man naked, and this fascinated me. It was a demonstration of manhood to me-my mind opening to want him, too. His cock was narrow, but long and hard, standing out from his sparse hairs. The balls were tight at the root of his cock and Wendy raised her head to lick them with her long tongue. He looked down at her, his eyes half-closed as she licked his thighs, his balls and then his cock. The red cock was growing even bigger as she sucked on the head, taking it into her mouth and twirling it around. He was now moaning and I put my hand inside my robe to clench my own pulsating breasts. They were swollen from my previous attention, but they sensed my emotions as I grasped them with my hand. My eyes were beginning to water as I turned my head away for one brief moment.
When I again turned to look at them, he was pulling off Wendy's panties. Her dark mound of black hairs was curly and they were a burning bush for my eyes. Damn! How I craved her, wanted to bury my head inside of her ... I wanted to touch her every part and suck until she cried out for me to stop. But I couldn't. I had to be the silent observer. Cautious that I was intruding, I stepped back further, not wanting to risk getting caught by them.
His fair head was now between her legs and she had opened them wide to him. He held her legs up and ran his tongue down the inside of her thighs.
"Oh, God, Wendy, I love you, I love you. . .
I could hear his words clearly as he stopped his actions to stare into her eyes, her lips a sexy smile to answer him. She stuck her tongue out and ran it around the full lips. It must have driven him wild because he thrust his head back to her open legs and found her pussy. I longed to see more closely, but I couldn't. I knew she must be creaming for him, the sweet juices overflowing into his mouth. Her hips were moving with his motions and she was crying softly to him. Her husky voice was driving me crazy and I could feel my pussy burning for her, ready to open wide to receive her.
All of a sudden, he got up, his face wet from her juicy cunt. He pulled her arms up to him and he went to a big chair in the room. I watched them walk over, their asses perfectly shaped and red from the floor. I wanted to pinch Wendy's, it was so round and so very fleshy. He sat down in the chair and then Wendy then sat on top of him. Her back was to me and she was facing him. They had their arms around each other and they were kissing-their heads turning and tight together. Wendy then pulled her legs up so that she was squatting on his. lap, her pussy open over his cock. I could see his balls resting on the chair and his cock standing up to reach Wendy's cunt. Then she picked her body up high and let his cock run along her pussy.
I was dying with pain as I watched them, eager to be there, a part of them. Wendy had lowered her body enough to take his long cock into her pussy. I had the perfect view from where I was ... I could see the root of his cock as she slid up and down on it. He was moving in the chair, trying to reach deeper into her and moaning her name into her ear. I was spellbound by this scene before me. Wendy's gorgeous legs were taut and her muscles rippled as she braced herself with her arms so that she could move faster and faster on his cock. I was in a trance, a captivated trance, as I watched them. They were moving faster and faster, so fast that Wendy's body was almost a blur as she moved on him. He was straining his legs to push himself into her deeper.
"Ohh, goddamn, I'm coming, don't stop, don't stop, I'm begging you, keep moving, baby, fuck me harder, fuck me harder!"
I saw his contorted face as he exploded into her, their bodies bending together in the chair, her ass flying on him, his cock thrust into her so deep that I couldn't see it at all. She must have come, too, for she finally relaxed against his legs, her body limp on him and her hair damp on her streaming wet body. He was stroking her back with his hands, his hands going down to cup her ass cheeks in his hands as he kneaded the flesh, pulling the cheeks apart so that I had a great view of her tiny little circle. Her dark hairs were scant around her ass crack as he played with her flesh and let his finger run up and down her short crack.
I saw Wendy lift her body up and then saw the white liquid pouring out from her lips. His semen was streaming onto her thigh and dropping on his legs, but they made no attempt to move. They seemed to be enjoying the feeling of it on then-legs, I could imagine how hot it must be. Then Wendy moved down from his lap and began to lick the come from his legs. His cock was now placid, lying limp across his balls, but she licked everywhere, cleaning off every trace of the juicy results of their fuck. Finally she stood in the chair, her cunt over his open mouth as he licked her pussy, swallowing with deep moans of pleasure. She was murmuring something to him but I couldn't hear her, no matter how I strained my ears.
I had never done this with Cranston, I had missed the sweetness of this. We had always just cleaned it up hastily. I wanted to do this, wanted to see how good it could feel. Maybe you had to be in love to do this, I didn't know. But I did know that I had been missing something with Cranston. Our fucking had not been like this. There were unspoken vibrations between them. There was a quality to it all. I felt more than just a little inadequate with myself as I continued to watch them. They were back on the floor again, hugging each other tightly. Suddenly I couldn't stand it anymore and I ran lightly up the stairs to my room. I felt compelled to lock the door, not that I thought Cranston would make an attempt to see me, but because I needed the security of a locked door.
The colors of my room exploded in front of me as I literally crashed onto the bed. Going back to my childhood, I got under the covers and pulled the spread over my face. Now all I needed was someone to come and lass me good-night, perhaps my mother.
I must have, dozed off from the weariness of my body and mind, because when I woke up the room and the house seemed even quieter. I knew without looking that Wendy's boyfriend was gone and she lay sleeping in her room. I wished that I could go and climb in bed with her, feel her warm soft body curled next to mine, our breasts touching. Damn! I couldn't stand having these thoughts all the time-what was wrong with me?
Why did I feel that I must have someone at all times? I toyed with the idea of masturbating again, but the idea didn't appeal to me that much. I wanted someone real, not a toy. I couldn't bear to play make-believe. I had to have the real thing.