Chapter 6
It was on a Friday night-the night that Grant usually dated Barbara-that Neil came home and announced to his wife and daughter: "I managed to get two really good seats for the water ballet tonight!"
"Oh, goody, Daddy!" Barbara smiled sweetly and made small sounds of pleasure.
Neil smiled at his daughter, then his eyes flickered to his wife. "I could only get two," began Neil uncomfortably. "If you want to go with Barbara," he hesitated, "well, then..."
Harriette spun around. Her face was set and she didn't smile when she spoke: "You know damned well that I can't stand those things." Her face almost sneered as she added: "Take Barbara. That's what you wanted, isn't it?"
"Now, Harriette-" Neil began, then stopped when Barbara moved quickly to the door, slipped into the hallway, and closed the door quietly behind her. Neil's face changed. "See?" he almost snarled. "You've done it again! Scared the poor kid away!"
"Poor kid," Harriette mimicked.
He breathed hard and when he spoke, Neil kept his voice under control with an effort. "What's the matter with you, Harriette? You're on my back an' pickin' on Barbara all the goddamned time. What's got into you?"
Harriette's lips were white, then she made a lewd sound as she spat: "Not you-that's for sure. You haven't got into me for-" Neil interrupted: "Harriette, not that again!"
"Again," she mocked him nastily. "Are you so damned washed out, so damned old that you can't-" "Harriette!" he snapped.
"Screw," she said, "so you can't screw any more!"
Neil jerked his head towards the hallway. "Harriette, stop it!" His face worked with emotion. "Barbara," he hissed, "Barbara might hear you."
Harriette raised her voice. "Barbara, Barbara, Barbara! That's all I hear! That's all you can say! I'm sick and tired of that goddamned name an'-" She seemed to lose her anger and strength at the same time. "Oh, what's the use," she muttered, then she walked out of the kitchen and Neil heard her going slowly up the stairs to the bedroom.
Jesus! he said below his breath. Holy Jesus Christ! He jerked his head up when Barbara came in and tried to compose his face.
"Somethin' wrong, Daddy?" she asked in a small, shy voice. "Somethin' with Mommy?"
"Nothin'," he said. "Nothin' for you to worry about, Barbara-puss." He forced a smile back onto his face. Just seeing her and saying his name made him feel better. "We gonna have a ball tonight, Barbara baby. Just you an' me, a real ball!"
"Yes," Barbara gasped, her eyes gleaming as though she really were a little girl. "I just love the water ballet." She clasped her hands together and smiled at Neil. She really did like it. Seeing the perfectly proportioned performers knifing into the water, so crisply, so cleanly-it was beautiful and luscious. She got a deep thrill at the sight. "Lovely," she said, "so lovely!"
"Yeah," Neil agreed, thinking of something else, "it'll be lovely, all right-just you an' me, Barbara-puss!"
Barbara spun around in her adolescent dress, then clapped her hands and laughed. "That's right, Daddy-Lovely. Just the two of us!!"
Harriette poured another shot of gin into the tumbler, then drained it. She sank down onto the bed, then swung her feet up and let her head drop onto the pillow. Damn Neil, damn Barbara. Neither of them gave one solitary damn about her!
She squirmed herself, then kicked off her shoes, unfastened her garter belt and filled her belly with air. She breathed out deeply, then unhooked her bra, let her breasts swing free as she rocked her body on the bed. Damn them both!
As though she couldn't bear any restraint upon her flesh, she reached under her skirt, placed her hands in the waistband of her panties then slid them down and off her feet. She sighed, she felt a little better. She rolled herself off the bed, padded to the door and locked it, then grabbed the bottle and refilled her glass with gin.
This time she felt the warmth of it hit her. She lit a cigarette, squeezing it between her lips, drawing deeply upon it. Then she bit the filtertip as though it was the teat on a bottle, the nipple on a breast, or-the penis on a man!
She screwed her eyes shut. Damn, damn, damn! Liquor always made her this way. Ever since the party, the lousy party two days before when she'd drunk too much, she'd felt hot, sexed up, ready for love, for sex. Damn Neil! He couldn't give her anything anymore!
She pressed her fingers over her crotch as though she were holding her desire inside. Then a small stream of profanity bubbled from her lips. Neil either couldn't or wouldn't! She wondered if there was someone else and then was shocked to find that she didn't care if there was. The end result was the same-she didn't get any satisfaction! Whether it was because Neil couldn't or wouldn't because he had someone else, she didn't get it.
She stubbed her cigarette out fiercely. She oughta get herself someone else. If Neil didn't care, then why should she? He liked being with Barbara better than her, anyway!
Harriette wheeled suddenly; someone had rattled the knob of the door. "Who is it?" she called, her voice too high.
"Barbara, Mommy," said her daughter.
Harriette closed her lips firmly. How she hated being called Mommy! "What is it?" she snapped, not moving to open the door.
"Can I come in?"
"No. I'm resting. What'd you want?"
"It's about Grant," said her daughter's voice. "I'd forgotten about Grant."
"What about him?"
"Well, Mommy, he was calling for me at eight an' I'd forgotten."
"Well, call him and tell him."
"I did call but I couldn't tell him."
"Why not?" Harriette tried to keep the impatience out of her voice. Damn Barbara-and damn Grant!
"He wasn't home. He was going to come straight here and pick me up, and if he does I'll be gone," Barbara explained.
Harriette listened to the young voice trail off, then she frowned thoughtfully as she asked: "You'd rather go to the water ballet with your father than out with Grant?"
"Oh, of course, Mommy."
Harriette, thinking now, was silent.
"Will you tell him when he comes?" asked Barbara.
Harriette's mind was not on her daughter's words. "What?" she asked.
"Will you tell Grant where I've gone when he comes? Tell him I tried to call."
"Yes," Harriette sighed, "I'll tell him."
Barbara's voice brightened. "Goody, thank you, Mommy. 'Bye now." Then Harriette heard the childish footsteps tripping down the stairs.
Goody, she muttered to herself, Mommy, she slurred ironically. When was Barbara going to grow up? She lit another cigarette thoughtfully. So Barbara would rather go to a show with her father than out with her boyfriend. It didn't seem natural. Even if it was the water ballet, which Barbara liked so much. She cut off her thoughts, poured herself more gin, and felt the hot waves start to flow again.
What did she care about Barbara and her crazy, childish ways? What she, Harriette, wanted was a man, a man who'd-her hand dropped down, scrabbled between her thighs and she felt the moistness and the oozing movement of the hungry lips. Damn Barbara! Damn Neil! she swore silently.
She heard the front door slam behind them as she was writhing onto the bed. Let them go and leave her. She didn't want them if they didn't want her. Her fingers trembled. Screw 'em both - and Neil especially. And don't forget Grant, also!
Her mouth formed the words as she thought them. Then she said again, Screw Grant! Her fingers stopped their spasmodic twitchings and she said it again, slowly and thoughtfully, like a question: Screw Grant? Grant?
Harriette's eyes flickered feverishly towards the clock on the dresser. He was coming at eight, Barbara had said, and it was now seven-thirty! Slowly, Harriette rose from the bed, then began to get dressed with extra care.