Chapter 5
Jennifer lay there, shuddering. How could this have happened? How? Because I am stupid. I should have known about Lesbians. And yet, even though I've read about them, I didn't recognize one in Carol.
Her body had betrayed her again. The aching need for release, for some animal gratification, had led her to this, to lying here, shuddering because a Lesbian had tried to make love to her. She shook her head at her own thinking. No! Not tried. That woman had made love to her-in a manner that somehow degraded her own womanhood, debauched her body.
Jennifer dragged herself up and into the shower, to wash away some of the ugliness that seemed to cling to her. She knew she had permitted it. Surprise, astonishment that such an assault could occur was poor excuse for having allowed things to progress as far as they had.
And Carol, though she was angry about what she seemed to consider a conspiracy-with some accomplice, had left that jeering message-that Jennifer was hooked.
Jennifer looked down at her body, at the water streaming over her breasts, her stomach, her-yes-cunt. She could think of it dispassionately now in those terms, book terms she had never expected to encounter.
Am I -hooked?
Remembering the scene-and in spite of the momentary excitement Carol had stirred in her body-Jennifer knew she wasn't "hooked." She felt too much revulsion, too great a humiliation. Degraded. That was the word. Her body was degraded.
Maybe Lesbians had something going for them. It wasn't therefor her. Nothing but a feeling of frustration -of incompletion.
She wondered if she might have been hooked if Carol had completed her lovemaking. She shook her head. Just the suddenness of it, the bald effrontery, had thrust Jennifer into accepting as much as she had. It hadn't been... satisfying.
If I am going to have sex, I want it with a man. I want a man's prick rammed up my pussy! I want sex man-woman style.
That's what my body says I want... And Jennifer writhed under the beat of water on her skin, feeling the urges sweep through her body, creeping up her legs, to her pussy and into her belly. I want to wash away all the degradation Carol heaped on me. Yet, in doing it, I make myself want-create a new hunger.
And what to do about it?
Had Jennifer been less naive, more worldly, she would have known what to do, and it wouldn't be the casual happenstance of events on a cruise, however delightful, however much it promised in the way of swingin'-which, to be quite truthful, Jennifer acknowledged to herself, she didn't know much about.
But she did know that standing under a warm shower, while mildly stimulating, wasn't the answer. She stepped out of the shower feeling clean-freed of Carol. While drying herself she considered her wardrobe. She was just a little horrified to find she was contemplating something easy to get out of, in case some man...
She put the thought aside, but even so, she wore no bra. Her breasts were firm enough without. Pantyhose? They were not so easy to slip out of.... Brief panties? Or nothing? Nothing.
That's depraved! Her mind told her that, but her body enjoyed the exquisite freedom of nothing under the sheer shift.
She tried to tell herself she wasn't really looking for a man, that she was just going up on deck to enjoy the soft night breeze and clear away some of the confusion Carol's lovemaking had created.
Yet she rejoiced when the breeze, stronger than she had anticipated, plastered the shift against her body, molding her high, firm breasts, whipping between her legs, bringing her whole body into high relief, and demonstrating, if there had been anyone else to see, that she was wearing nothing under the shift. The breeze, against all nature, blew straight up, so that she had to fight the shift and hold it down. And the sudden breeze on her pussy, stirring the hairs, started her daydreaming. If some man...
That's when she nearly stepped on the couple who had been overwhelmed with sex in a very public place.
She peered around. Actually, this corner of the boat deck was quite secluded. In fact, very private. And the man advised her, "Scram, nosy! Scram!" And the girl used both hands to cover her face, about the only portion of her not completely exposed.
Jennifer backed away, waving her hands futilely before her face, as if she were brushing away the image of what she had just seen. But it was a moment that wouldn't brush away, making Jennifer's body flush with excitement.
Imagine someone looking on when...No! Sex was a private affair, even if you did announce your intentions by going on a swingin' singles cruise. Going was just a way of flinging open shutters, of letting sunlight into your life. The sunburn was private.
And Jennifer stepped into space.
For a ghastly moment, as she glanced down at her erring feet, she could see the waters rushing alongside the ship. And then she was falling.
Something snagged at her shift and held. But the shift didn't. It split right along the long zipper, spilling Jennifer out of it, her legs kicking wildly, her arms flailing.
One arm was grasped in a strong, almost crushing grip. Jennifer jerked to a midair halt and swung back against the ship, her behind smacking into steel and old, rough paint. Then she was being hauled up, her bottom scraping along the hull. Above her a man was swearing. And then talking, directing her.
"Now. Give me your other hand. This way. No, don't claw at me. Just your hand, so I can grab your wrist.... That's better. Now you can push yourself off from the ship's side a little. Sort of walk your way up. It's going to cut your feet because you lost your wedgies."
Jennifer stared upward, squinting, trying to see the face that belonged to the voice. "I wasn't wearing wedgies!" She sounded indignant.
And suddenly she was back on deck, at the very edge, almost behind one of the boats hanging in their davits. And looking back at the dark, rushing waters, while someone held her wrists.
"Oh, no, you don't! Not twice in one night! If I have to sit on you! Though the lord only knows how you knew enough to pick the one sure suicide spot on this boat. You've been stupid enough about everything else." The grip on her wrists shifted and Jennifer lunged perilously toward the edge again, staring in horror.
"Yes. Take a good look. A really good look, Miss Lorn. When you go off there, at this spot, the current sweeps you right into the propeller. The port propeller, if you care. And it chops you into about seven pieces. Most of which we never find. Oh, an arm here, a leg there. The sharks usually get the rest."
About halfway through this recital Jennifer shut her eyes, turning away from the sight of the black, rushing waters, and buried her face against the rough texture of a man's coat.
Now that she could think again, she could feel the rough texture rasping against her breasts and stomach-and she could feel the cool night breezes all over. She was naked. And in some man's arms. She lifted her head and stared. It was the young man who had spoken to her on the dock, the ship's officer Elsie and Anna had said was cruise director.
"I'm sorry."
He shook her, moving her carefully, even gently away from the edge of the boat. "You should be. You could have damaged our port propeller. If your bones are hard enough."
"I said I was sorry. I wouldn't damage your old port propeller for anything! And if you'll just let go of my wrists, I'll go to my cabin. Peacefully."
"Naked?" There was a chuckle in the voice now, covering the anger of a moment ago. "Miss Lorn, I'll lend you my coat. And I'll escort you to your cabin, to lock you in if it were practical. And incidentally, to protect my coat on the way. I never know when some impulsive act will start you off, discarding your clothes. And I can't afford to lose a practically brand new sports jacket."
All the time he was talking he was slipping out of his jacket and easing it onto Jennifer, who was accepting it meekly, mostly because she was virtually in shock. The realization of what he had been saying about the rush of waters and the chopping of the port propeller had finally penetrated. Sharks! She shivered, and the man looked down at her. He spoke gruffly, but there was a kindness behind what he was saying. "Cold! Well, you should be, doing a strip up here on the boat deck. It's windy. And the air is cool this far north. And if you hold the coat closed up to your chin, you'll pass. I've seen shorter dresses. Now, walk. I have an arm around you. It's not affection, Miss Lorn, I assure you. I'm just protecting my property. My coat. In case you decide to make a break for the starboard rail. That's also usually fatal. In a gruesome way. Now, if you'll just come through this door. You'll have to press close to me, to make it, and I know you object to that, but I must insist. I'm not turning you loose until I get you back to your cabin. And then I can have a stewardess on guard, to see you don't get into any more difficulties."
Jennifer was aware that they passed couples who smiled knowingly at the scene of the young man with his arm around a barefoot girl-clad only in the man's coat. She was aware that he braced her in a corner, holding her with a body block, while he fumbled her door open and then thrust her in.
"And now, may I have my coat?"
Jennifer whipped it off, thrusting it at him, her back half turned, not even looking over her shoulder at him. "Here!"
She heard him gasp and felt him come in behind her, closing the door. "Kid, you are hurt! Go on, put on a robe. Put on something. You're too distracting standing there with your bare face hanging out all over-and those big, staring eyes. Are you trying not to cry?"
"No!" Jennifer flung herself face down on the berth. "I am crying! Because I hurt all over. Now get out! Get out!" She rolled over on her scratched and bleeding buttocks to stare up at him, completely disregarding the fact that she was naked. On a bed. With a strange man in the room. She pointed. "You! It was you. I told you to get out!"
The young man nodded, grinning suddenly. "Twice. When Cass somebody threw you out- because you wouldn't. I can guess what you wouldn't. And for the third time-on the boat deck. You do come apart at the seams rather easily, Miss Lorn. But the scenery is good." He became very brisk, walking toward the berth. "Let me take a look at your-er-rear. I do have a certificate in life saving and first aid. And after all, I've seen about all there is to see."
"Three times!" Jennifer said it in awe at the mysterious ways of fate. She rolled over, propping her tokus for the man's inspection, peering at her behind and him over one shoulder. "And I don't even know your name."