Chapter 16

Jennifer strolled along beside Bruce, soaking up the tropic sunshine, enjoying the warm breeze that came from off shore-and you really could smell the jungle, faint and far away.

"Now what was all that in honor of? What did Carol hope to gain, besides embarrassing me through you?"

Bruce turned her aside, and moved toward two empty steamer chairs. "A cover-up-and revenge. On you, for being you-and me for breaking up what she hoped to make a charming alliance. With you."

"Never. I was startled. I was-well-panicked. And above all, I just couldn't believe it was happening. But to be interested in Lesbian love affairs. No!"

"Carol is unwilling to accept that, Jennifer. To her, you were her 'prospect'-her new paramour. Until I butted in. And I did, you know. I was keeping an eye on you, through the stewards and stewardess, because you looked so vulnerable. I didn't quite grasp what girl you went off with-until it was almost too late. If I'd known it was Carol Clark, I'd have broken it up much earlier."

"But how did you know she was-well- what she is?"

"Elsie caught on pretty quick. So did Anna. There are signs. If you know the breed. This one is particularly vicious."

"Were you really down in crew's quarters at midnight? I thought we..."

"So close as it made no difference. The captain may stick up for his crew-but he wouldn't perjure himself for one of us. And I was there for nearly three hours, Kurt Vrietland was in considerable pain. It may even be a break. The ship's doctor was topside, with a passenger patient. Threatened ruptured appendix. Fortunately it hasn't ruptured yet, and we'll get him in to Acapulco tomorrow. And Vrietland is now in a very professional cast."

"So it was all true. And Carol did make passes at that cute little Javanese girl?"

"Oh, definitely. That's what she was trying to cover up-as well as strike back at you-and me. If she could have forced you to testify that I was in your room at that time, making love to you, it could have hurt us both."

"So that's why you cut through what I was going to say. Because I would have, you know. I could have sworn you were there most of the night. I remember a kiss-or think I do-along about dawn. There is a distinct..."

"It was a kiss. A very chaste kiss. On your forehead. After I had tended to Kurt I came back and you were sleeping. You know, you are quite lovely when you're asleep."

Jennifer nodded. "And that's when Carol saw you leave my cabin. The second time. She thought she could compromise us-and divert attention from her own little peccadilloes." Jennifer paused in mock thoughtfulness, grinning impishly. "You know, I've always thought of peccadilloes as something like a cross between a porcupine and an armadillo. And you could lead them around on a leash. Like, why here comes Mrs. Jones, with her peccadilloes."

"Foibles is another good one. As in, Mr. Jones has his foibles. Six of them running around their pen."

"I've always wanted to go in one of those overblown drugstores and ask for a bushel of sundries. Or do they come by the pound?"

Chattering nonsense, they moved away from the scene of Carol's humiliation-which she had brought on herself. And on down the deck.

It was a day for almost feverish activity, since they would dock in the morning. It seemed everyone wanted to get in some one of the recreations the ship offered.

So Bruce was kept busy. Not so much so that he couldn't occasionally look over heads and smile at Jennifer. But that was a poor substitute for having Bruce in her cabin, in her bed, with her.

I'm getting to be a monomaniac on the subject. Here, I didn't even guess at the power of sex -didn't even know of it except through those books-a week ago, and now I sit around on deck chairs waiting for a few minutes with Bruce, the touch of his hand, even a smile from a distance. And dream of when we can be together in private. In delicious and very naughty privacy.

Elsie came by and paused for a moment by Jennifer's deck chair. "You look like the canary that swallowed the cat. And I bet I can guess which cat. And may the Lord preserve me from another guy who is determined to be deck tennis champion of the Pacific passenger fleet." Elsie waggled a limp arm and flaccid wrist. "I'd put it in splints except for the bridge tournament tonight. Last night before docking. Captain's dinner, special dancing-what can be so special when we have the same band every night, but that's what the program says-bridge tournament. Even movies in the library. Probably a Humphrey Bogart, or maybe even Laura LaPlante-and that's going back. Even my mother couldn't remember her." Elsie slowed down, fanned herself with a tennis head bandeau and grinned at Jennifer. "Actually, it's one of the new ones. Wild on the Road or something like that. All about hippies and motorcycles. Of course, all the new ones are about hippies and motorcycles-give or take a' few Fondas."

Anna wandered up, waved languidly and drifted off, bemused.

Elsie pointed at her back with the tennis bandeau. "She's hooked up with a brain. What's a brain doing on a swinging singles cruise? He says he takes cruises like this every year, so he can mingle with the hoi polloi. And Anna just found out that means 'the great unwashed,' and it's bugging her. Especially since she uses Dial. Every day. Sometimes twice."

Elsie twinkled at Jennifer to demonstrate that this was a big put-on, and both she and Anna had long ago known what hoi polloi meant. Then she wandered off, possibly because she had caught sight of her would-be deck tennis champion coming up a hatchway.

The strawberry blonde, Laura, waved from the protective arm of Jerry, who fiercely guarded her against whatever might, on this bright, gay deck, attack his beloved. Yet he could see the funny side of his over-protectiveness because he grinned at Jennifer and shoved Laura toward her, with a very possessive pat on the fanny.

Laura wandered over, looking a little weary but very happy, and flopped down beside Jennifer. "He wants to fly back, so he can show me off to his family. I want to go back by this boat and be very decorous and proper for three whole days. Only I don't think I could stand it. Jerry isn't the decorous and proper type. And I'm not either--when it comes to Jerry. So we'd wind up in an orgy. Which wouldn't break my heart. Only I wouldn't want Jerry to go home looking utterly exhausted. After all, he came on this cruise to build himself back up. So we'll fly. You really can't get into much trouble on a plane." Laura looked thoughtful and shook her head. "I don't think you can, though I've never really tried. It might be an interesting experiment. And you will come to the wedding, won't you? Jerry insists. I'd be jealous if I didn't know his motive is purely pecuniary. He adds you up as one more wedding present, a silver porringer or soup ladle. No, honestly, do come. It'll be weeks yet. San Franciscans make such a thing of weddings, all lace veils and traditions." Laura patted Jennifer's hand and moved off to rejoin Jerry at the rail in a position that flatly denied the certain law of physics that says two bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time. At least, they were working on getting it repealed.

Jennifer watched and sighed. They were happy. They had a future all planned. Perhaps it wouldn't work out as planned, but for now they were happy.

Anna, Elise and Laura -they want something so desperately they are trying to make it look wonderful. Life isn't all that wonderful. I know. I've lived with a life that was bitter and warped. And it has left me-warped? At least I'm not bitter. Or I don't think so. I just have a different perspective.

Jennifer couldn't make herself believe that marriage was the ultimate destiny. Nor, of course, was sex, the lovemaking she had known. There was bound to be something else, something that melded the two together. And that, of course, could be love.

Only I'm not at all sure I know what love is. I might not even recognize it until it had passed me by. But at least I will have lived. I will have had romance if not love. And, for the moment, that's a very satisfactory substitute.