Chapter 11
Since the show was about to roll they had Ben's funeral the following day so that everybody could go to give him his last respects.
"Poor Ben," everybody said.
May wore black and she was supposed to but the dress was too tight even then, on her full stacked body.
"We don't get them so big in the bust very often," the girl in the store had told her. "I wish I had some of what you've got and I'll bet they'd wish it to. I used to wear falsies but I lost one of them so that ended my attempts to be a glamour girl."
Earl was in the hospital, suffering from the rap Valerie had dealt him, and she stood by the side of the open grate wishing that he was with her. A cop had brought her the money arid the day before she had been so busy with the show that she hadn't been able to get in to see him. She had made up her mind that she wasn't going on, that she was done with the girlie bit and one of the ride operators had made her a fair offer for the equipment.
"I have to talk to Earl," she had told the man. "He may want to go on with the show and if he does I'm not going to stop him."
"But he doesn't have any dough of his own."
"I wasn't thinking about dough."
Now she stood with the others and listened to the final words said for Ben.
The services weren't long and then she was walking toward one of the cars.
She didn't go back to the grounds but got off near a bar downtown. IT WAS STILL QUITE A WHILE BEFORE visiting hours for Earl and he wanted to be alone so that she could think.
Inside the bar she ordered and ignored a man who was staring at her. She had paid off her debts that morning and she still had a little money left. It could have been worse, being broke and being hung up in a strange place.
She thought about Earl, about what he had done for her, and she knew that she wanted him, wanted him terribly. She had told him the last time he had sought her that it wasn't right to make free love but just then she would have accepted him on any terms. If she had been in a bedroom with him she would have gone down naked in a second and then she would have been in his arms, pulling him toward the bed where he could take her. She didn't care if he gave her a kid. She wanted his. The only thing was she didn't know how he felt about it. Of course he had slept with other girls but somehow it was different with a man. When a girl married she wanted her husband experienced on their wedding night and there was only one way for a man to get experience.
She thought of Bill Wakely and she knew that it wouldn't be any good with Bill. Bill qualified in the money and the sex departments but there had to be more to marriage than that. You couldn't spend your whole life in bed, making love, basing everything you had on pure physical lust.
The bartender set up another drink and she felt like crying, not simply because she was afraid of the future but because she regretted the past. She wished that she was a virgin again. The first time Dave had forced her but after that she had done it because it had been fun. But none oi it had been as good as it had been with Earl, their bodies locked together in moment of passion so that she had to fight the fire deep in her stomach.
"Another drink, Miss?"
"Yes, thanks."
"Earl, she thought, oh Earl-"
She looked at the clock on the wall and waited.
There was nothing else to do but wait for him to get well.
A few weeks later they had been loving all night and most of the morning and now they were loving again. She didn't know how often and she didn't care. He hadn't been careful with her and she didn't care about that either.
"You go for me plenty," he breathed.
"I go for you in a big way dear," she said.
And then it was over with, over with again, and she was sorry that it has ended. She felt him stretching out beside her on the bed.
"You hungry?"
"Only for what we mean to each other."
"Give me a break, will you lady?"
"I thought you were a strong man "
"Yes, but I'm also human and can fall apart."
She remembered the ride on the bus and it had been better than she had thought it would be. He had asked her to marry him and she agreed. They had enough money to get along on a honeymoon and she was confident that it would work out.
"I'm glad you made me leave the rest of our memories behind," he said slowly.
She stretched, then rubbed her naked breasts with the palms of her hands. The nipples were still hard and demanding. "But I don't want the kid to know about those special shows I did for you."
"You could have done something worse."
"Like?"
"I wasn't thinking of anything in particular."
"Well, I couldn't stand not doing this to you."
She turned and pressed her body in close to his bigness and warmness.
"Don't be rough with me," she said.
He moved his head to kiss her.
"But give me what I desire very much."
In a very hosrt time she got her desire. Her honeymoon was going fine and it looked like she would have some place in the scheme of it from now on.
This she felt as he grunted his release from him to her, in the mutual sensating of indescribable thrill, it was the new deal in her future, starting now.