Chapter 1
My Parentage and Early Life
My father possessed a large and flourishing estate in one of the West Indian Islands, before the Emancipation.
My baptismal name is Charlotte, but from some fancied likeness to a picture of the English Queen of that name my father called me Queenie, which pet name has stuck to me ever since.
The first event of any importance in connection with my subject which I can remember, occurred when I was about eleven years old.
I had then a black nurse called Dora, in whose charge I was specially placed; it was from her I learned that my mother, who died soon after my birth, had been a favourite and very handsome slave, nearly white as any European, and that I greatly resembled her.
My father was kind to me, though I did not see much of him, for he was often away on business.
When he was at home he used to send for me to come to him after dinner, when he would set me on his knee and make me sip sweet rum-toddy.
He liked tickling my thighs and pinching my bottom, for he said it made me laugh and look happy; but one evening, after his second glass, he placed me astride on his lap with my back towards him and my dress pulled up, so that he could feel the warmth of my naked little bottom.
I laughed, and thought it funny, but I let him settle me as he wished. Then, in a short time, I felt a hot, stiff thing poking up between my thighs and rubbing again my slit in such a way as even then to cause such a strange tingling there that I told nurse about it when she was putting me to bed. She laughed and said the Master wanted to do to me what he had done to my mother before me.
"Oh nurse, do tell me what Papa did to Mama!"
"Never mind now, Missy, you'll know soon enough."
"Tell me now, nurse. You know I am now past eleven and the other day when you were wiping me after my bath and were looking between my legs, you said that I was growing into quite a little woman. Look at me again, nurse," I said, lifting up my nightdress and spreading my legs. "Had Mama a little slit in here like I have? And did she let Papa rub it for her?"
"What a funny child you are, Miss Queenie! You are indeed an unusually large and well-made girl for your age, and your Mama did enjoy rubbing there more than anyone I ever saw; and unless I am mistaken you will be just the same."
Then, stooping down, she put her hands under my bottom and raised me up, and plunging her face between my thighs she began to kiss the lips and lick all round the inside of my little slit.
I was greatly surprised at first, but soon the motion of her warm, pliant tongue in that most sensitive spot made me press up against her mouth and cry, "Don't stop, dear nurse; it is so nice!"
A thrill of pleasure went through me; then, feeling tired and heavy, I ciosed my eyes and soon fell asleep.
Nurse was a noted herb doctor, and she used to boast that she could cure any sick person, or make them sleep, or even kill them if she liked.
There was one herb which she often gathered when out walking with me, which, she said, was good for tea and made people sleep sweetly afterwards. She sometimes used it for our own tea. It was nice and pleasant to drink, but it always made me sleep heavily soon after taking it.
She had steeped some that evening, and filled my cup, but as it tasted more pungent than usual my stomach turned against it, and when she was not looking I poured it into a slop-basin; but when she helped me again it was not so strong, and I drank a little.
I suppose it was the effect of it which made me go to sleep so quickly; but it did not last as long as usual, for I woke after a few hours. The moon was shining brightly through the curtains drawn across the open window, and I could see by the clock that it was only a little after twelve.
I felt hot and restless, and as the excitement in my slit still continued I involuntarily put my hand to it and felt its smooth lips, and the slippery little lump between them.
Then I rubbed with my finger the hot chink below, which throbbed under my touch and which I felt to be connected in some mysterious way with the very mainspring of my being.
I knew not then of that wondrous key which could enter, wind up the spring, and put all the hidden machinery into motion; but my eyes were partially opened and my curiosity aroused, and many things I had previously heard and witnessed recurred to my memory with a startling significance unknown before, and I settled in my mind, therefore, to lose no opportunity of enlarging my knowledge of these interesting matters.
I was lying quietly in my bed while these thoughts were fermenting in my mind, when a low whistle at the window arrested my atteention.
Nurse sat up and asked softly, "Is that you. Dantly?"
The whistle was gently repeated.
"You may come in," she replied, "the child is fast asleep, and the coast is clear."
A dusky form then passed through the window, and I recognized one of the assitant overseers, a good-looking mulatto who was much chaffed as Nurse's follower and admirer.
She took him in her arms and gave him a hearty hug. On being released, he turned towards me and asked: "Is she really fast asleep? May I look at her little cunny?"
"You may, for I gave her some strong tea last evening."
He came softly to the side of my bed, and lifting the the clothes he pushed his hand between my thighs.
I pretended to be asleep, though as first I found it very hard to remain still, for his fingers tickled me: but he quick aroused the sensation of pleasure such as I had felt before, and that made me as firm as a rock. He then pulled down the clothes, and opening my legs, he said: "What a sweet little cunt she has, Dora! I wonder who will be the first to ravish its sweets?"
"I would not be surprised if her own father had the first of her himself," she replied, and then she related what I had told her.
"I would not put it past him, for he is the greatest man for the women that I have ever met!"
"Does he often come to you, Dora?"
"Yes, he does. He has a fuck with me whenever he wants a black cunt for a change."
"And you give him plenty of it, too, Dora?"
"Why not?" said Nurse, as she kissed the top of his flaming red-headed prick, which she had drawn out while they were talking. She seemed to be supporting its bag with one hand while she moved the other up and down the dark-skinned shaft.
Meanwhile Dantly had frigged my cunt into such a state of excitement that he was able to push the tip of his finger through the passage, and though the pain was so considerable that I had to bite my lips to prevent myself crying out, yet the sensation was so overpowering that I willingly bore it while he forced his whole finger up: Then I felt something snap inside, and to my great relief he moved it in and out without hurting me.
"I do declare she is fit to be fucked," he said, "although there is not a sign of hair on her mount as yet. See, the whole of my finger goes in without waking her."
"So I see. But don't meddle further with her now. Come over here and I'll finish you off; then go to bed like a good fellow."
Still holding him by the legs she drew him towards her bed and sat down on the edge with him standing between her legs. He then put his hand under her thighs and tilted her back.
She at once spread herself like an open book, giving me a clear view of her enormous gash. The outsides of the great fat lips were dark, and covered with black woolly hair; but the lining within was a flaming red, and seemed brimming over with unctious juice.
"Let me put it in, Dantly," she said, and she directed with her hand the glowing head of his now rampant prick into what seemed to me like the huge mouth of some all-devouring creature.
"Push, you villain!' she cried, as she clutched the two polished cheeks of his bottom with her hands and drove her nail into his quivering flesh. "Send home your prick and fuck me like a man!"
Dantly, bending to his work, was not slow in obeying her command and fucked with such a fury that the whole room shook with the vigour of his strokes. Then, his job being done, after lying on her for a few minutes he got up and went away.
The events of that night completely changed the current of my life. I was no longer an innocent child. A new sense had arisen in my nature. I felt a want of something I scarcely knew what. At the same time I had become as knowing and suspicious as one of long experience.
I had learned to read and write from a schoolmaster, who attended me for an hour each morning. I was fond of reading but had few books at my command, and they were chiefly novels of a light description and such books of poetry as Don Juan, Tommy Little, and Burns.
All these now read with renewed interest and enlightened understanding of the meaning of their numerous hints and allusions. But my attention was specially directed to the living characters with whom I mingled in daily life, and the strange events which were continually occurring around me, events which were so highly calculated to both stimulate and gratify my eager and prurient curiosity.
I began Life in the midst of an atmosphere pervaded by sensuality and self-indulgence, and how I remained in comparable innocent for as long is a marvel to me even now.
My father was a man of robust health and unbridled passions. He had absolute control over a large number and variety of women; and as he was at all times generous in conduct, and had a most winning manner and address, they were only too ready to gratify him in every way he desired.
Nor was he selfish in his pleasures, for he allowed his overseers-and he had several, mostly European-to enjoy the same licenses he claimed for himself; so that, in a word, unbounded licenciousness and promiscuous intercourse seemed the order of the day.
A son of the head overseer was allowed to play with me when he was home from school. His name was Dick, and he was sixteen years of age. He had often tried to make free with me, but hitherto I had always repelled his advances; but now I felt quite prepared to meet him half way.
The next time he came to play with me, he commenced his tricks or running his hand up under my petticoat.
"Where are you putting your hand? I havn't a pocket there for sweets or nuts," I said.
"No, but you have a sweet little flower that I would very much like to see and unfold," he replied.
"What, nonsense you talk. How do you know that I have a flower or anything else there?" I said quickly.
"Oh. I know very well! I was watching my sister, who is about your age. taking her bath the other morning, and she has the prettiest little mouth between her legs that I ever saw."
"And what have you got there yourself. Master Dick?" I asked.
"Oh! I will show it to you. Look, Queenie, there it is! Won't you take ii in your hand?"
"No, I'd be sorry if I had co touch the ugly thing," all the time, however, looking at it with fixed attention.
"Why do you call it ugly? You mean just the contrary. Look how stiff it is getting!" and he drew down the covering skin. "See its red top peeping out! Do you know what it is for, Queenie?"
"No. What would I know about it?"
"Perhaps you may know more than you like to say; but anyway, I will tell you. It is made to go into the little mouth between your legs-let me touch it-oh, do, there's a good girl."
After much laughing, dragging and pushing, he succeeded in getting his hand on my chink of delight.
I enjoyed watching how his face beamed with satisfaction as he felt with eager fingers the swelling mound and soft, rounded lips which formed the outer portion of my little unfledged cunny.
He praised and kissed me, and pressed hard against me; but all the while the knowing young dog was forcing me back and quietly pushing in between my legs.
He pinched my clitoris, and rubbing his fingers in the slit as he softly pulled up my frock and opened my drawers, until at last I allowed him to get what he desired-a full view of my rosy chink.
How his eyes sparkled! How he kissed it! Lips and thrust in his tongue! He was leaning over me on one side and my hand strayed up his thigh. His trousers were open and I took hold of his prick which stiffened as my fingers closed over it.
He seemed greatly pleased, and lifting himself up he pushed it forward for a nearer inspection. He showed me how to frig it, as he called the moving of the loose skin up and down, holding my fingers with his own and pressing them round it while he looked down with a gratified air and watched the operation.
He gradually moved his prick towards my mouth, and then he asked me to kiss it. I put its head to my lips and rubbed it to my nose. It had a slightly peculiar smell which was pleasant and exciting.
I let it enter my mouth and twined my tongue around its neck. He put my hand on the little bag that held his stones and told me to feel them; and then he moved my hand until my fingers reached the little round hole in his bottom.
Dick was, in fact, quite a little Epicurian, and young as he was he had both seen and participate in many of the various modes of sexual enjoyment.
"Queenie, you are a darling! You know how to please a fellow, and you have a lovely cunt. Now, if we have complete trust in each other we can have great fun-and I will tell you all sorts of exciting things. What do you say?"
"Yes, Dick. You are a good, clever boy, and I am very fond of you," and we sealed our bargain with a kiss.
"Queenie, you shall be my own love, and I will marry you when you are grown up and I have an estate of my own. But now, tell me, do you know the name of what you are holding in your hand and petting so nicely?"
"No, Dick; what is it called?"
"It is called a prick, and this, you know, is called a cunt, and putting the prick into the cunt is the nicest feeling in the world and is called fucking. Now lean back, raise your knees and open your thighs as widely as ever you can and let us fuck together; if I can get my prick into your cunt you will know what a delightful thing fucking is."
I laid back and spread my thighs, and putting my hands down I tried to open my cunt as much as I could while he knelt down between my legs and pressed the head of his prick against the opening.
He pushed and worked away, and I heaved up and helped by every means in my power, but all in vain; for he could not get it in. At last some white juice spurted out of his prick and he had to give up, almost crying at his want of success. I fully sympathised with him, and said, "But Dick, how do you know it is meant to go there at all?"
"Why, I have seen it go in many a time. Shall I tell you what I saw only last week?"
"Please do, Dick. I would very much like to hear it."
"You know old Snigger, who keeps the plantation 'cat' and flogs the slaves when they are sent to him with a note from my father? Last week our Polly was lazy and impudent, and he resolved to give her a lesson by sending her a Snigger. So he wrote 'Give this girl a round dozen to teach her better manners,' and sent her with the note.
"I knew what was in the note and why she was sent, so I followed her quietly, and going to the rear of the punishment house I was able to look in and see all that passed.
"The old fellow led her in and fastened the door. When the poor girl knew why she was sent there she seemed quite dumbfounded, and burst out crying. He tried to comfort her by saying, 'I know you, Polly, and if you are good and quiet I won't hurt you much.' He then tied her hands and placed her leaning forward over a beam ,so that he bottom was well cocked up.
"Then he raised her petticoat and flung it over her head and shoulders, and putting his hand between her legs forced them widely apart, on which she squealed out and threatened all sorts of things.
"'Very well,' he said, 'if you won't keep quiet you must only suffer for it,' and bringing down the 'cat' he gave her a smart cut across her naked bottom. She jumped and gave a yell.
"'All right,' he said, giving her another, 'now perhaps you will keep quiet and behave yourself."
"'Oh yes, Mr. Snigger, I will be as quiet as I can; but don't hit so hard, you hurt me terribly."
"'I don't want to hurt you at all, Polly,' he said, putting his hand between her fat thighs and spreading them further apart, then gazing at her open cunt.
"He then loosen his pants and pulled out his tool. You would be surprised at what a big prick the old fellow has. He made it wag its great purple knob as he held it in his hand.
"Then, holding her by the hips, he drove it at her cunt; but when she felt it between the lips she cried, 'Stop! You mustn't do that!'
"'You want another dose of the 'cat,' my lady?' he said, drawing back and giving her a lash.
"'Oh! Mr. Snigger! Don't whip me any more! I will let you do anything you please!'
"'Now you speak like a sensible girl,' he said, and coming up close again, he opened the glowing lips of her cunt, inserted the head of his prick, and slowly pushed it up. As it disappeared he leaned forward on her back, put his hands down under her belly and spread them over her cunt, and made his prick pass in and out through his fingers. You would have been surprised, Queenie, to have seen with what ease the great prick passed up into her belly arid how, when he began to fuck with regular in-and-out thrusts, she poked hez bottom out to meet every push.
"When he finished he made her promise never to tell anyone what he had done to her.
"'If you do, and I have you here again, you will catch it.' She knew that this was no idle boast so she let him kiss her, and then went quickly away.
"Would you have liked to have seen that, Queenie?"
"I would, very much. Are girls often sent to him?"
"Oh, yes, almost every day. I will tell you the next time, and then we can go together. Won't that be fun?"
I promised to go with him, and then he departed.