Chapter 12

It seems no matter how I tried I couldn't keep away from at least a yearly tragedy. This time it was my father's death. It came as a real blow to me, even though he hadn't been nearly as close as he could have all these years. In fact, despite my frantic relationship with my mother, I felt closer to her as the years rolled by and it developed into a weird love/hate thing. But Dad had become more and more of a background figure after my brother's death.

My mother really freaked at this very real tragedy. I felt sort of sorry for her. While their marriage hadn't been that good, the two of them hardly communicating except when it was about me, it was all she had. I'd be leaving soon, and at least she didn't try to throw herself into me. In fact, she seemed to grow more serene after we'd buried him. We had the few honest talks we ever had during that period. Although my mother's ideas were crazy and outdated to me, I could see her heart was in the right place.

Since he'd died when I only had another month and a half of school left, we had to talk this out. To make her feel better, I'd devised a plan to tell her that I was going to follow Gwen's example and work my way through night school. I'd be moving in with her and we'd share expenses, and I could go to a junior college for night classes. Actually, the story was true except for the school part. But more about that later.

Just to put the clincher on it, I told her that I'd stay with her, of course, if that's what she wanted. I already knew what she was thinking about, but her duty still was with me until I left home-that was her old world attitude, the one that got me into so much trouble, but now, looking at how old she was beginning to look, I couldn't hold any more grudges... not for the moment. She told me that she liked my plans very much and was glad that I'd turned out to be such a nice kid (Oh, I'm so fucking glad she doesn't know for her sake). She wanted me to go through with those plans, pleased that I'd fallen under the influence of such a 'decent and sensible girl' as Gwen.

They'd hoped to help me out with school, or whatever I wanted ... but now there would just be the small pension for her, plus whatever she'd get when she sold the house.

"No, no, don't worry about me," she patted my shoulder so dramatically that it made me realize she was born for this martyr's role, that she actually was happy to suffer. "I'm not meant for out here (California). This was your Daddy's idea. Hoped we'd get ahead ... and we didn't do too bad." She glanced over to a picture of my brother and fought back a tear.

"But my people are in Ohio. And as you know, your Uncle John wants me to come back and live with him, help take care of his kids now that your Aunt Darcy passed away. So I'll go help my brother raise up his kids, and you come back and see me when you have a break in school. I'm just so happy, after all the troubles, that you've turned out to be such a good girl. You had me and your father, rest his soul, worried there for awhile. You haven't even missed school this last couple of months. I'm proud of you."

You can say what you want about total honesty, but I wouldn't let her know what I'm doing for the world. It makes her feel good to think at least one thing she did turned out right. I really felt close to her for that last couple of months we were together, and even put up with her slight nagging that still came up from time to time, and resisted her attempts to get me to come back to the church with her. I'm sure she never misses Mass these days. But I feel sorry for her younger brother's kids, all three of them are just getting into puberty and beyond. My cousins will be lucky to escape with only minor neurosis. But it worked out nice for both Uncle John and mother in their time of need.

Somehow I managed to graduate. I really did make school every day, except around the time of the funeral, winning a bet with Gwen (she couldn't pick at me about the legitimate excuse for my father's funeral). I didn't do too much balling, except for Gwen of course, but what I mean to say is I didn't do much balling for dollars that semester. Gwen wanted me to get through school, and then my father's death had thrown things off. She was very kind to my mother during that period.

In it's own sad way, the death eased my leaving home. I had enough money to split, but once a girl graduates from high school, leaving home can hardly be classified as running away. But there was no need. I made a smooth transi- tion, following Gwen's advice, for we had decided to rent a larger, more luxurious apartment together, and pool our talents that I'd been undergoing training for.

So Mom sold the house and took off for Ohio and the old ways, while I looked to the future, moving my things into a nice small hillside apartment above the Sunset Strip. We didn't plan to set the world on fire, but we knew that we could make some good bread if we played it smart. And we didn't need any fucking pimp -Gwen had built up the trade herself, small though the regular count might have been, from customers originally inherited from her hooker friend. At least the majority of the regulars were high rollers.

But it was more than business that we got together for-our feelings for each other were so strong. I don't mean it was at a real romantic level like some lesbian things are. It was more like sister/sister. In fact, we each did a little partying with other women from time to time, either together or separately, and only once did I get it on with a woman for pay.

I remember my first trick when we moved into the new apartment, because it was the first time Gwen ever let me go out on a trick by myself that she didn't personally know.

But Steve, the lawyer, had recommended this guy Bill and personally vouched for him. Since Steve didn't go but one way, I wondered how he could vouch for a guy's sex trip without actually sleeping with him. I figured he must have been a real close friend, or gotten the rundown that he wasn't a freak from a mutual girlfriend. That's how I answered it. It was also to be the first night in the new pad, a place free from neighbors who snooped, as this area was full of people who did a lot of partying. I wouldn't get to try out the new bed. Although we had two bedrooms, fully equipped, we'd be sleeping in a big king-size waterbed from now on. The other bed was available for when we were entertaining at home, and might need two beds, or get a guy who didn't dig water beds or something. And yet, it's amazing to me, what with two beds, just how often we end up balling on the couch or the floor of the livingroom. Must have something to do with photography I'd guess. What?

This would be an all-nighter though, so it'd have to wait until the next night, sleeping on the waterbed that is. But I'd be getting three-hundred, which seemed like a lot to me. We varied our prices quite a bit-for the big spenders this might be worth five bills, and all nighter that is. Shit, some of them drop a couple of bills for a half-hour session.

So Gwen figured I'd have to learn to be on my own sometime, and a new guy who came with an okay from Steve would be a pretty safe bet. I'd made it with a couple of her regulars on my own, but this was the first new John. I was much more confident than I'd been a year back, Gwen having been a good teacher and influence.

I piled into my new (to me) used MG, that I'd bought with my savings to date, taking an overnight bag with me, and drove to the address in Burbank. It was a ranch-style house in a family neighborhood of upper middle class. No wonder he wanted me to pull into the open garage and come in through the kitchen opening. He was fucking around on his wife... shame, shame. But that's not our job to decide what's wrong and what's right. The guy gets what he wants and he's paying plenty.

"Sorry it was such a last-minute thing," Bill, a pleasant looking man with dark curly hair told me. "I would've come up to the apartment, but my wife will be calling tonight to let me know if she and the kids got in safely. And knowing her, she'll call twice."

He explained to me that, he'd been caught once before when she was away, and he had to really let her have his balls to keep the marriage together. "I really dig her... and the kids, especially. But Goddamn, a guy needs a change."

I asked him if the neighbors had caught him before, but it hadn't been that way... some other complicated thing.

"What if you've got to go out and work?" I asked, remembering that he was a contractor who had gone to college with Steve. "That's different. But tonight, to get out of going over to her fucking sister's in Pasadena, who she wants to spy on me, I faked a cold before she left. And I'd better be right here when she calls. She doesn't figure I'd have the gall to have a girl come over to the house, but she didn't know how horny I was for a little strange pussy."

Since it was an all-nighter, at least I hoped to God that his wife didn't sneak back and catch us, I got into my jammies the way he wanted. Before long, he had the pajama bottoms off and was pumping his cock to me on the floor, wearing only his undershirt. Then he had me sit on a table, right up on the edge while he ate me out.

The only remarkable thing, aside from this being my first trick on my own, happened later on when we were making it in his bed. The phone rang, just as I was about to come- I have no problems with that if the man is good these days-the phone rang. He slowed his pace, told me to shush, then spoke to his wife, still moving his cock slowly in and out of me. He even made it sound like he had a cold-one of your all time great acting jobs.