Chapter 6
John's-conscience troubled him as he took her up the narrow, ricketty stairs to his bedroom.
Oh, how lovely," Maria said as she put her foot on the top step and" looked into the small room under the roof, with its sloping floor, small latticed window, its simple cottage furnishings with a bed under the window covered with a multi-coloured rug.
"Are we going to do it here?" she said "Oh, how wonderful. I knew that it would be just like this when I went to bed with someone for the first time." She swung round to face him and he held out his right hand, took her wrist and pulled him towards him, brushing her lips lightly and then kissing her firmly on each eye in turn, finally implantan almost fatherly kiss on her mouth. It had to be fatherly because, each time he gave way to his passion for her, he felt almost beyond control and he had not yet finally made up his mind to possess her. For one thing she was evidently a virgin, though, as a matter of fact he had not actually asked her about that; for another there was the question of contraceptives. His good sense told him that it would be wholly irresponsible of him to take any risks with her. From every point of view it would be utterly disastrous if she conceived. And yet it seemed so squalid to put on one of those awful french letters with her, so disruptive of their love-making. And above all, he wanted to have his prick inside her unsullied flesh, to be the first to have a naked prick inside her, to feel, her soft, girlish cunt accepting him without anything coming between them.
"Is it all right?" she asked him suddenly, as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"Is what all right?" ho asked her, but knowing what she meant.
"You doing this to me -fucking me?", it was the first time he had heard her use the word and it immediately sent a thrill through his body.
"I really don't know," he answered her honestly. "But we have decided and we will do it whatever the consequences. You musn't tell anyone, of course."
She looked at him indignantly. "What do you take me for?" she said, "I wouldn't have come to see you if I had gone and told the other girls. But, you see, I am frightened of having a baby. That's what I meant when
I said, 'Is it all right?'"
"Look, Maria, you are only thirteen, but I'm sure that you are very sensible and that I can talk to you almost as it you were grown up. I don't think I would have asked you to meet me if you had been just a silly little girl. So, here goes. I want to fuck you and you want me to fuck you--" he was interrupted by her.
"Yes, yes, I do!"
"All right. And I've made up my mind to do it though it is wrong and immoral in the eyes of the world. Then so much for the morals. Now the practical side of it. It's really horrible to have to talk about it like this, I think it spoils it in some way. You are so beautiful and I would just like to take you and forget the world and everything else, but, as you say, you don't want a baby. Now I've thought about this a lot. If you were older and we could take a risk we might rely on your safe period. You know what that is, do you? The times in the month when it's not like ly that you would conceive. When did you have your last period. I mean when did it begin?"
"Oh, it's just finished. It began last Thursday. It's only the third time I've had a period and they always come on Thursday."
"Well, that means you're regular. Now if you have a period every twenty-eight days it means that the unsafe time of the month is from about the ninth day after your period began until the nineteenth day. But, my love it's never really safe; it's just that you are most fertile between those days and much less fertile at the beginning and end of the month. You ought to be unfertile now but it would be foolish to risk it, see?"
"Then what?" she said simply.
"I think I can fuck you-for a long time without coming inside you, and then when the time comes when I am near to coming . '..' I'll come out and put something on. That's the only way. I'm also going to squeeze whats called a contraceptive jelly in to you for added safety. It sounds awful, my dear,but as you say you don't want a baby."
"Good-o: I think you are kind and good and that you would never let it happen to me',' she said, looking at him with admiration."Now do it to me. Shall I take my clothes off?"
"Yes, I'd like you to and I'd like to sit here and watch you if you do not mind. I've never seen a beautiful young girl like you in the nude." As he spoke and anticipated the sight of her naked body, he felt his sex stirring within him, his prick begin to harden, and a tingling in his loins. He had been to bed with perhaps a dozen girls since he he had his first when he was about eighteen, but he had never had anyone as young as Maria or experienced anything . like the thrill of anticipation that quivered through his whole being at the sight of Maria beginning to take off her clothes.
She sat on the edge of the small bed and took off her shoes and then pushed her short white stockings down her legs. He would have preferred her to keep her stockings on, but he did 'not want to interfere in any way with her spontaneity. She then unbuttoned her white blouse, pulled it from under her skirt and belt and, looking at him, slipped it from her shoulders. She sat there, the upper half of her body naked except for a small white bra. He could see at once that she had quite large breasts for her age, and be waited eagerly for the moment when she would expose them to him in all their pristine nakedness. He knew that he would not be able to 'remain seated where he was, that he would rush over to her and take one of her nipples in his mouth. He wondered whether anyone had ever sucked her nipples.
She did not take off her bra, but now turned to the buckle of her wide belt and a moment later she had removed it and was soon unzipping her blue skirt, pulling the zip at the side down towards her hip. Then she stood up and her skirt fell to the floor.
There she stood in boa and knickers, her long hair still kept in position by the band of white ribbon, her eyes looking at him to get his reaction, her legs slightly apart, and her arms now raised above her as if she were standing before a doctor for an examination. He saw at once that she had soft down under her arms, a slim waist, firm girlish buttocks, long, almost boyish thighs and the slimmest of legs, legs that would,no doubt, thicken out a bit later on. But what excited him most of all was the triangle of white knicker that disappeared between the angle of her legs, leaving just a suggestion of dark hair on either side. He could not take his eyes away from the place where her knickers disappeared between her almost golden olive thighs, hiding for the moment her precious secret. He lifted his eyes to meet hers and he saw the question in them.
"You approve?" she asked him, a smile on her face.
"So far, so far, but we haven't seen everything yet. I think I'd better wait before I make a final judgment," he teased her.
"O.K." she said laughing, "I'll show you my breasts." And she reached round, fumbled for a few seconds with the catches that held up her bra and then, when she had succeeded in unfastening them, bent forward and let the white straps fall from her shoulders arms, her breasts falling forward as she did so. Then she raised her head again and stood before him, waiting for his comment.
His prick was erect and hard within his trousers and he wanted to take her there and then. But it was part of their tacit understanding, he felt, that they should take their time over everything, that they should savour each other to the full before the plunge into what might be nirvana -or the abyss. He restrained himself and looked at her breasts almost critically. Yea, they were the loveliest he had ever seen,standing out, like two domes, soft and shapely, white and perfect with deep red nipples -in the centre and the suggestion of a surrounding circular area of deep brown, two or three tones darker than her olive skin. He could not wait any longer to touch them, even if she was not yet ready, and he left hie chair and stepped forward and took them both in the palms of his two hands, held them, let their soft weight press into them, and then reached up with his thumbs and pressed the already hardening nipples into the soft, mammary flesh. He felt her shiver and tremble with delight and press her thighs together as the cerrent of excitment ran from her breasts to her genitals.
"They are lovely," he breathed. "Has anyone else ever touched them?" He-was desperately hoping that she would say no. Self ishly he wanted to think that she had newer been touched by another man, that she had been his from the beginning. But he was vc| surprised when she said, "Nobody."
"But surely someone had petted you and touched your body?"
"No, only an old man in the park when I was only eight or nine. He did, he touched my... my cunt." She blushed and he could see a tear trickle from one of her eyes before she bent down to avoid his glance, burying her head in his chest."Oh, my poor darling," he said. "It doesn't m=+ter, he didn't hurt you, did he?" He was curious and' felt his pri^k throb at the thouqht of an old man fondling and caressing her in the Darn. But he hoped it had been no more than that, "No, he kissed me and pulled off my knickers and began to finger my cunt, but he heard somebody coming and he ran off,"she sobbed as she told him.
"Why didn't you scream?"
She was silent and slowly her sobbing stopped. And then when she was quiet again she said, "Because I wanted to know what it was like to be touched there. It was wrong but I wanted it.. Other people have tried but I haven't let them. And nobody has ever had my bra off or touched my breasts. They are all for you," she ended with girlish simplicity.
He held her close to him, her naked breasts pressing hard against his shirt, her head on his shoulder. Then he lifted her chin so that her face was close to his and saw in her eyes the longing and desire, caught yet another glimpse of the wanton and waited for her voluptuous lips to close on his. When he felt them, they were warm and demanding, almost predatory and, dizzy with the urgency of lust, he pushed her back on the bed, their lips still pressed together, and fell onto her almost naked body, his prick throbbing through his trousers against her thigh.
He pushed his tongue between the wet lips and moved the tip along the upper teeth, and then plunged it deep into her mouth to entwine with hers. She shuddered with pleasure and moved her legs so that he slipped in between them. Now his trousers rubbed against her knickers, their genitals separated by three thicknesses of material. Clinging to him tightly she began to move and rub against him with a steady rhythm and with his prick against his pants, he could nevertheless feel the front of her pelvis as she moved.
She then suddenly stopped her wriggle and released his neck, and then looked into his eyes. Now he saw the purity and delicacy of her face, even though she was flushed and panting, and he knew that they had to' resume the gave they had been playing before.
John stood in wonder, almost in awe at the sight of her naked body, naked for the first time for a man to gaze on, snowing off its unspoiled beauty, its springtime integrity, and, yet, revealing the promise of unalloyed delight. Once again he studied her from head to foot, impressed as always by her long dark hair, the sensitive yet sensual face with its large brown enigmatic eyes and large voluptuous mouth, aquiline nose and firm chin, her slender neck and sloping shoulders descending in front to the splendid breasts, and, below,her narrow waist broadening out to her already sexy hips and, between, the shapely triangle of her pelvis with its prominent mount of Venus covered with her fine, silky hair. Most wonderful of all the thighs, the alabaster thighs of a young girl just after puberty with the slit between them that held out the promise of nirvana for the man who could enter the' gates, a sexual el dorado,the promised land.
"Well?" she asked him.
"Perfect, you are perfect," he told her, meaning the word literally. "You have the most wonderful body I have ever seen.Oh I am the luckiest man in the world." Then he said, "Now you are going to see a man naked!"
She smiled but be could sec that she was trembling. She knew that it would not be long now before he took her, took her and possessed her, took away her maidenhead; not long before she would give herself to him for his lust, open. her legs for him to enter and violate her. One side of her wanted it to happen desperately; her peasant, life-giving, warm sensual nature wanted to give herself to him, to surrender her body to him utterly and totally; but another side of her nature, the prudent, cautious side that in some odd way cherished purity, wanted to hold back.At the moment he began to undress there was still a conflict in her mind, though she already knew which side had won, that, despite hesitations and misgivings, she had to give herself to him. And as she saw him undress any final doubts in her mind were dispelled, for she knew that it was essential to her,to her whole life, that she should have that manly flesh taking her to it, pressing her to the bed, and then using her for its purposes. That is how she saw it even though she would not have been able to put it in those words; she merely sensed the divergent sides of her nature, one "yea-saying", the other nay-saying", and she knew that she wonted to say "Yea". And she was more certain of her need to say "Yea" as she saw him slowly take off his clothes.
She had never seen a. man naked before, had not even seen a man in a swimsuit as far as she remembered. She liked the look of his hairy chest, his muscular arms and the rib.^ lightly protruding from his body. 5he was a little surprised to see that his nipples were as large as her own, and she liked his flat, muscular abdomen. He was unfastening his belt at that moment and she waited breathlessly as he pushed his trousers off, leaving him wearing only a pair of black pants. But the pants did not fit tightly as her knickers did for they were misshapen by his. erect, jutting prick, forcing itself against the material. She had hardly time, however, to think ..about it for a moment later as he straightened up after pulling his pants from, his feet 'she saw why it was, saw for the first time, except for a brief glimpse of Tom's, a man's erect male member. It took her breath away, for she could not believe a man could have a thing so big, or that it could ever go into anyone,let alone her small body. He saw her looking at it, scrutinizing it, saw a momentary unbelief in her eyes, and a shiver of excitement went through his body as he became aware of her admiration for him, for his body, especially for his rampant prick. The admiration was candidly expressed when she looked into his face and smiled, reaching out her arms for him to clasp her to him. He flung out hie arms and a moment later their naked flesh met for the first time, his hard prick pressing against her belly, his balls against her hair.
He kissed her moist lips, felt her temble with excitement, and knw that the time had come to fuck her. Nothing mattered anymore, and there was no turning back.
"You ready?" he whispered.
"Yes," she said almost in a whisper.
"Then at first I'll put my fingers in you to make it easier and less painful when I put my prick in you. Understand?"
"Yes. You can hurt me as much as you like."
"It's bound to hurt you a bit, but I'll do my best not to. And you may bleed a bit too."
"O.K. Go ahead," she said matter-offactly as if it were sud enly the most ordinary thing in the world. But for both of them there had been a sudden lessening of tension; the heightened state of emotionalism they had been in for nearly two hours could not be sustained and they were now back on the mundane level of practicalities, at least for the moment.
He pushed her on the bed and bending over her he parted her legs, feeling the fine flesh of her thighs, and then the softer,more elastic flesh between. As soon as her legs were wide apart he saw the full beauty of her pudenda, the silky black heir running down cither side of the trim outer lips and inside the red, already moist slit with the smaller, inner lips, the button of her minute clitoris and the opening to her vagina. And he could see the flesh meeting again at the bottom of her vulva to form the angle bet we n her legs, the perineum. He had intended to waste no more time but he was almost overwhelmed with emotion and lustful anticipation at the first sight of her treasure. He would never look at her again with the same cool, untainted gaze. It reminded him of Keats:
"Then felt I like some watcher of the skies
When a new planet swims into his ken; Or like stout Cortez when with eagle eyes
He star'd at the Pacific -and all his men
Look'd at each other with a wild surmise Silent, upon a peak in Darien."
Looking at Maria's unsullied, girlish slit was certainly-as exciting, thought John, as seeing the Pacific for the first time. But unlike Corte: he was on his own and did not have to share his vision with anyone else.He had the enchantress that possessed it to him self. She, too, liked poetry he remembered her telling him at school. He wondered which lines would come to her mind now if she were asked to express her feelings at this moment.
She had almost closed her eyes and he sat at the side of the bed and moved his right hand up the inside of her thigh until his forefinger was just touching the bottom end of her slit, his knuckle almost probing between the slightly open lips. She shook as he moved the finger and pushed its tip in between the lips and lightly touched the moist, red membrane. He trembled with excitement as he felt for the first time the symbol of her femininity, touched her most intimate parts. He moved his finger slightly up the slit and she felt what it was like to have someone else's finger on the small button of her clitoris, the most sensitive part of her whole body. She jerked her body momentarily, but he kept his finger on the small penis-like organ and as she relaxed back on the bed he began with infinite delicacy to move his finger back and forth across the tip. The effect on her was electric. She began to roll her buttocks, parted and bent her legs as if inviting him to take her more completely, and moans of pleasure escaped from her lips. Her movements forced her slit against his finger and he was soon rubbing the sensitive bud more roughly, only provoking her to more energetic activity and loud cries of satisfaction. Squirming. and writhing uncontrollably as he kept his finger on her clitoris, now moving it. with great rapidity, she suddenly cried out, "Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming, oh, it's marvellous, it's wonderful, Oh, John, oh, mama mial" And then she became still, her eyes closed and she lay there inert and temporarily fulfilled.
He took advantage of her completely relaxed attitude to put his finger into her vaginal orifice. Immediately he felt the hymen preventing any intromission of his finger or penis, and he knew that though fragile enough as a rule she would be tough to penetrate. He felt rather pleased as he would enjoy deflowering her at length, using his hand to dilate the opening and rupture her maidenhood. His prick throbbed and his loins tingled with desire as he found himself pushing his finger into the membrane, screwing it a little to break through it or expand it.
After a minute or two she began to cry out as he probed and pushed into the orifice, saying it was hurting her, each time adding, when he stopped, "But go on1. I want you to do it, make me no longer a virgin." Then she would keep silent for a minute or two,wincing nevertheless with the pain of his slow penetration, and trying hard to suppress heir cries
In another few minutes he got up and went to a drawer in a tallboy near the bed, bringing out a tube of contraceptive lubrica ting jelly. He took off the cap and then put the nozzle just inside her cunt and squee*sd the tube, flooding her with the jelly. "That will help," he murmured to her as he put the tube down and inserted his finger again.
"Oh, I like it," she said, "It's nice and cool."
He continued to manipulate his finger inside the orifice and suddenly the membrane gave and he saw that his finger was covered with blood. She cried out in pain, but still Urged him to go on. And when he thought she could be ar the pain again he found that he could insert two fingers. It seemed wet and bloody inside, so much blood that for a moment he thought of stopping for a bit. But he was now so excited by the progress he had made and at the sight of her blood that he found himself treating her more roughly than ever and, despite her cries, a moment later he was twisting his two fingers in her hole with a ruthless unconcern for the pain ne was causing her. The membrane seemed to give once again and he found that he could almost get three fingers into her.
He moved them in a screwing manner for a few minutes and then began to move them up and down as forcefully as he could. After two two or three minutes, he felt fairly satisfied that he would not now have much difficulty in fucking her. She was technically no longer a virgin: her hymen was disrupted and he had destroyed her maidenhead -and it occurred to him cynically, and perhaps her maidenhood too.
"I've done it," he said. "Have I hurt you very much?"
"No, not really. It does hurt though.. Oh, mama mia, what's all that blood?" She sat up and saw for the first time the blood on the bed and it made her feel nauseated and faint. He ran to her side and took her in his arms. "It's all right, my love, that always happens when a girl is deflowered. But you've almost stopped bleeding now and it won't hurt you much when I fuck you."
She turned to him with her burning eyes. "So I'm no longer a virgin?"
"No, not really. You are a virgin till someone has fucked you even though your hymen has been ruptured."
"Oh, well, when I've had a few minutes rest and I don't feel quite so sore, you must do that to me," she said.