Chapter 8
Jill arrived home from the picnic feeling better than she had in a long time. Her buoyant mood receded somewhat during dinner while Carl played his patriarch role like Moses in a DeMille movie.
His voice boomed as he expressed disapproval of his family's posture, eating habits and conversation. There was an increasing tendency for Amanda and Jackson to include Jill in their conversation. Each time they did, he glowered disapproval.
It was as if he were saying, "I have this family completely under my thumb. I have kept them in obedient darkness all these years. You are an outsider and I fear you will show them light. Go away."
When he did speak to Jill, his voice was less harsh, but he came close to confirming her thoughts.
"Are you making progress with your plans to resume life with your family, Jill? Life must go on, you know."
"Yes, Carl, I'm really making more progress than I expected. I'll be going back north quite soon now. I've enjoyed my stay here, but I realize a house guest who stays on is really an imposition on a household."
"Not at all, my dear. We have enjoyed having you with us and we shall remember you warmly after you leave."
"Thank you, Carl." Warmly is really an understatement, Jill went on silently, your pictures will keep you more than warm and the kids will have some swinging memories of their own.
As soon as politeness permitted, Jill excused herself and went to her room. When she closed the door behind her, memories of the picnic with Bob returned and brought a warm glow back with them.
For just a moment, Jill wondered at the Tightness of her feelings. I loved Mac and was happy with him. Is it possible then that I can make room in my heart for another man so soon?
Yes, she answered her own question. The Mac she loved was alive and warm. Respect his memory, but don't try to live in love with a ghost. Memories and respect can endure beyond death, but you must not love dead clay.
She read for a while then and was preparing for bed when the silence of the house was shattered by the sound of the wide strap striking naked flesh. Faintly. Jill heard a high pitched sound of pain and protest and assumed that Amanda was getting it again.
Hearing someone come upstairs, Jill turned out her light and moved to the door, opening it just a crack. A gasp of surprise almost escaped her throat when she saw Amanda walk down the hall to her room.
It was Lucy whose bottom was bouncing under the strap which still filled the house with its loud cracking sounds. Can't he even permit her the dignity of being beaten when the son and daughter are not around to hear? Jill asked herself. It was a foolish question, she knew. In this house, J. Carl Cardwell sets all standards and they may be as sick as the man who establishes them, but they are adhered to under pain of very real punishment.
In a little while, the sounds stopped. As Jill listened, she heard Lucy come upstairs and move into her room. A minute later, Carl followed, but instead of going to his room, Jill heard him go to his den. She left her light turned off and drew the blind so that the room was totally dark. If nothing else, she could at least spoil his fun for the time being.
Just before dropping into sleep, Jill decided that tomorrow morning would be the ideal time for a nice long chat with Lucy. With the pain and shame of the beating still fresh, she should be ready to welcome understanding and friendly conversation with another woman.
When Jill went into the guest bathroom in the morning, she kept her robe on while she washed her hands, splashed water on her face and determined to postpone other functions for a while. She found a perverse joy in frustrating the man who made a morning ritual of peeping at her.
She was sure it was going to be a good day when Carl announced that there was work at the plant for both Amanda and Jackson.
As soon as the three left, Jill hurried upstairs to the bathroom. Frustrating that bastard is one thing, she breathed a sigh of relief, but it can lead to explosion if carried too far.
Jill hurried downstairs. Lucy was just clearing the breakfast dishes. Ignoring the woman's protests, Jill insisted on helping with the dishes.
There was a feeling of dismay when Lucy refused to be drawn into conversation. There was nothing unfriendly about her attitude. She kept her head down and just seemed unable to talk as she fought tears.
"Why do you put up with it, Lucy?" Jill decided to make her play.
Lucy dropped the plate she was holding and dissolved into tears. Now or never, Jill thought as she put her arm around the woman and led her out of the kitchen.
They sat together on the couch and Lucy cried for a long time while Jill held her, offering comfort as to a child whose heart was breaking. When the crying subsided, Jill offered her a handkerchief.
"I'm sorry, Jill. I don't know what's wrong with me this morning."
"Yes you do, Lucy, and so do I. You're trapped in a marriage to a man who is completely insane and you don't know where to turn."
"How can you say that? You hardly know Carl."
"A lot of things I'm going to say to you will come as a great shock, one of them is that in many ways, I know him better than you do. I haven't been here as a house guest just because I like that man's hospitality."
"I've wondered why you stayed here, Jill. This is such an unhappy house. I still don't understand it."
"I'll tell you, Lucy, because I think I can trust you. I'm here to prove that Carl is a terribly sick and dangerous man."
"I can understand why you think he's sick, but maybe he's not. He's so terribly religious, he doesn't think the way other people do. It's as if God has appointed him to do His work."
"Before we've finished talking, Lucy, I'm going to prove to you that all these years, you've been married to an insane man. I'm going to show you that your life and the life of your children are in danger. Terrible danger."
Jill saw the woman's face go chalky white. It was as if she believed what she heard and didn't want to. Jill knew she had hit her hard.
She decided to keep hitting. If Lucy once slipped out of her state of numbness, there was a danger that she would shut off her mind. She couldn't let that happen.
"Lucy, who do you think killed Velma?"
"But I don't understand. Your husband ... he was found guilty ... he was...."
"He was executed for a crime he could not have committed. Three people know who raped and killed that girl. I am one, Carl is. another."
"Then who...?"
"Carl raped and murdered her when his sickness became too strong to be controlled. When he realized what he had done, he arranged it so that my husband would be blamed. He killed my husband to cover his own crime. Is that the act of a religious man, or a sane one?"
"You can't say things like that, Jill. He's strange, but he wouldn't do things like that. He's a man of very strong religious convictions. Besides, he couldn't do it. He won't do ... that thing."
"What thing?"
"You know ... the act between man and woman. He says it is sinful and evil and a weakness of the flesh."
"What are you saying, Lucy? How about Amanda and Jackson? Where did they come from? How did they get here?"
"They are not ours. Soon after we married, he brought them home. Their parents had died in an accident. We brought them up as our own."
"Do you know that for sure?"
"That's what he told me. They can't be mine. I have never done that thing."
"My God, Lucy, what are you saying? Do you mean you have been married all these years and have never been with a man?"
The woman hung her head. "That's right. Carl says it is a sinful thing."
"But you should know better than that. Why do you believe him? Doesn't your mind and body tell you differently?"
"I was fifteen when I married Carl. I was brought up in a strict family where such things were never discussed. I don't know, Jill. Tell me."
She was a child begging for the secrets of life. A child who had been married for more than twenty years and did not know the purpose of her body.
"Lucy," Jill's voice was gentle as it would be in talking to a very small, frightened child, "do you mean you are still a virgin?"
"No man has ever ... you know."
"My God! That's impossible."
"Jill, tell me all the things a woman knows." It was a plea from the heart and the stomach. "But don't say Carl killed his niece. He wouldn't do that. He is a righteous man."
"Lucy, we're going to do a lot of talking. I can tell you many things about life and about your husband. Before I can do that though, I am going to have to hurt you. Carl is a sick, evil man. In a few minutes, we shall go upstairs and you will see the proof. It is going to be a great shock to you, you must try to prepare yourself for that."
"What do you mean?"
"I am going to have to destroy everything good you ever believed about your husband. I am going to prove to you that he is terribly sick and evil and has destroyed your whole life because of that sickness. It is going to be ugly and brutal and may make you very sick. Do you think you can stand it?"
The words seemed to have a settling effect on the woman even though Jill feared the opposite before saying them.
"Jill, I don't know what you are going to show me, but I promise I'll be able to take it. All through my married life, I've suspected that something was not right. Because Carl was always so positive, I never really questioned him. You say things about him that I cannot believe, but I am prepared for anything."
"Good. Come with me then and try to stay prepared to see things you couldn't imagine."
Jill kept her arm around the woman as they walked up the stairs together.
"Are we going to his private room?" Lucy asked.
"Yes, we are."
"But we should not. He forbids it. It is a personal room for contemplation. Anyway, it is always locked. You can't get in."
"We can get in, Lucy. It is a room of ugli ness and sickness and evil. It will hurt you to see it, but you must look."
Jill stopped in her room to pick up the keys. The two women walked on to the mystery room. Each was nervous, but for different reasons. Jill was aware that if Lucy cracked under the strain of what she would see, her whole plan to expose Carl could go down the drain. On the other hand, Lucy could become an invaluable ally. She was respected in this town, her word would carry more weight than Jill could ever hope to amass.
Turning the key in the lock, Jill turned to the woman. "Stay strong, Lucy. I've warned you this is going to be a terrible shock. Are you ready?"
Lucy nodded and Jill pushed the door open. She turned the light on.
For just a moment, there was silence as Lucy looked around the room that had always been hidden from her. It didn't occur to her to ask why Jill, a relative stranger, had access to the place she had never been permitted to see.
Jill walked across the room and pulled the string to open the black velvet drape. She turned to see Lucy's reaction as the window appeared.
"Do you recognize that room, Lucy?"
"But that's ... that's the guest bathroom."
"That's right. Many women have used it, haven't they? From here, Carl sits and watches them. Have you noticed that each morning he rushes to this room? I found out that he comes here to look at me in the bathroom. That's why I didn't use it this morning."
"Oh my God!" She turned even paler and Jill feared she would faint. She hurried to hold her.
"No, I'm all right. Show me everything."
"Come on with me." Jill walked across to the closet and pulled the door open to display the window into the bedroom.
"But why, Jill? Why?"
"Because he is very sick, Lucy. Because he is completely insane."
Jill went to the desk then and drew out the keys to the cupboard drawers.
"Sit down a minute, Lucy, I have to get a few things ready. What I'm going to show you will be even worse than you've seen so far."
Trusting to her memory, she selected the roll of movie film that showed the girl she believed to be Velma. Jill prepared the projector, threaded the film and went back across the room to pull the screen into place. She cut the lights, flicked the projector to life and hurried to sit beside the woman.
As she did, the screen brightened and a young woman wearing blouse and shorts walked into the guest bedroom.
"Velma!" Lucy gasped. Jill breathed a sigh of relief.
As they watched, the girl on the screen removed her blouse. Jill reached to hold Lucy's hand. The film rolled and the girl on the screen unfastened her shorts and stepped out of them.
"Carl doesn't permit you and Amanda to wear pretty lingerie, does he?" Jill asked. "He says it's sinful. He bought those things for Velma."
Lucy didn't answer. She watched, frozen, as the girl on the screen unfastened the expensive bra and tossed it aside to reveal her mature breasts. The picture showed her rubbing them absently in the way of a woman who feels the joy of freedom after confinement.
She slipped her little panties off then and the camera held her lovingly. It followed as she walked naked to the bureau, pried boldly as she bent to open a drawer and search for something.
The film must have been spliced then because the scene shifted abruptly to the bathroom where she was dropping her robe to resume nudity.
On the screen, they saw her sit, rise and moved to bend over the tub and adjust the taps. The camera had stayed with her all through her bath and towelling and did not leave until she donned her robe again and walked from the room.
"Carl?" The one word seemed to be all Lucy had left in her.
"Carl," Jill echoed with a note of finality. "There's more?"
"So much more, Lucy. You don't have to look at all of it, but you have to see some."
The film had been rewound. Jill put it back into the can and replaced it in the drawer. From another drawer, she withdrew the film showing Amanda receiving a strapping from the strange man.
As the film ran, a living record of shame and embarrassment, Jill heard Lucy sobbing quietly. She reached for her hand and held it.
"There are others?" Lucy asked when the film ended.
"Yes, many others."
"Am I in them?"
"Yes."
"Like this one?"
"Yes."
"Please don't make me see it. I don't think I could stand that."
"I understand, Lucy."
Jill showed her a few sets of pictures, including those of couples in the guest room. She could see that there was no shock left in the woman now, only the sweeping numbness of knowing something she could not understand.
Deciding she had shown enough for the time being, Jill went back to the desk to replace the keys. Before locking it, she felt a strange lump above the drawer top. Grasping it, she emitted a startled gasp.
"My God!" Her hands froze.
"What is it, Jill? After all this, what could you possibly find that would surprise you?"
Without speaking, Jill lowered the small package to the desk so that both could see. It was a number of photographs.
The top one showed Velma naked, bruised, blood spattered and obviously dead. Beside her, Jill saw Lucy go rigid as a new wave of shock spread over her. When she was able to find the strength, Jill turned the picture over to see the next one.
Again it showed the nude body of the dead girl. She had been moved into a different position. Each picture in the set was a variation of the first. The last was a little more evil than the rest.
In this one, the dead legs had been parted and raised. Jill could only surmise that her feet rested on low hanging tree branches. The camera had been moved in for a close-up shot. Blood stained the upper thighs.
"Lucy, I didn't see these before. Do you realize what they prove?"
"You're right," the woman found a weak voice, "he is terribly evil."
"More than that, Lucy. Don't you see? According to the evidence at the trial, Carl was with the police when they found the body. There was no mention of taking pictures. He wouldn't have dared take such pictures with others around. It means he took them after Velma was killed and before the body was found."
"But ... but ... what does that mean?"
"It means, Lucy, that while Mac was off the island, Carl walked into the woods with her. He had stared at her naked body through the glass in this room, as we know. He got carried away by his passion. He raped her. She may have fought or screamed or threatened to tell, so he had to kill her. After that, he convinced himself that she was evil and he had to kill her. He took the pictures either to prove it to himself or just to add to his collection. I can't know for sure what went on in his sick mind, but I do know this proves that he is the one who raped and murdered Velma. My husband died for that crime."
"What are we going to do, Jill?"
"I'm not sure yet, but if we work together, we can put him somewhere he can't ever do it again. We can save you and the kids from him."
"I'll face him with this when he comes home tonight."
"No!" It was almost a scream. "That's the one thing you mustn't do. This man has killed at least once. Think what he would do if he found out we know. He would have to protect himself. He would kill us all."
"What do we do then, Jill? We can't just forget about it."
"I don't have the answer to that yet. We must try to act as if nothing has happened. We have to try to be completely normal. Give me a little time to figure out what to do."
"But how can we? My God, Jill, this is terrible. I have to stop him. I can't let him beat me or the children again. Not after this."
"Lucy, you have to understand something. Until we're ready to use this information, we have to keep very quiet about it. There are enough of us, we can handle him if we go about it the right way." Even as she tried to convince Lucy, Jill was searching for answers, trying to justify what she was saying.
"But there are only two of us, Jill. We're not strong enough to handle him."
"There will be four, Lucy. I'm going to tell Amanda and Jackson what we know."
"But is that the right thing to do? They're so young and innocent. What will it do to them?"
"They may be stronger than we both think. When Carl gets home tonight, you find a way to keep him downstairs. I'll talk to the kids."
"I don't know if we should do that."
"I'm not too concerned about nice, pleasant things, Lucy. If you should make a slip so that Carl gets even a hint that you know what he is, you're going to be in trouble. So am I. If that happens, we may need any help we can get from Amanda and Jackson."
"But, will they understand? They are so innocent in the ways of life."
"That's something we can discuss another time." Jill didn't allow herself to dwell on the humor of the situation. "Right now, we need all the help we can get. Four of us are stronger than two in case of trouble."
"But is it fair to involve them in this?"
"Fair, Lucy? Has life been fair to them? They are involved anyway. Carl murdered his niece, is an adopted daughter any safer?"
"Not Amanda. He wouldn't do that."
"Wouldn't he? Want to look at the movie again? How often has he sat in this room watching that movie and getting excited? Why does he force her to strip so often to be strapped? She's probably in greater danger than any of us and she has a right to know."
"But shouldn't I be doing something?" Lucy looked completely lost now.
"You sure as hell should. You should be finding the strength you'll need to face that man tonight without weakening and letting him y know what we know. Do you think you can do it?"
"I'll try, Jill."
"That isn't enough. Through all the years of your marriage, he has lived an act and fooled you completely. Prove your are as smart as he by fooling him for a few days while I decide what we have to do."
"I'll do it, Jill. I promise. I won't let him suspect a thing."
"Good. I think you can do it. If you do, Lucy, I can promise a much better life for you and the kids in just a little while."
They walked out of the room then and Jill carefully locked the door behind them. Just before they reached the steps, Lucy stopped and clutched Jill's arm.
"Jill, please tell me all about this thing between men and women. Don't laugh at me. I know I'm very stupid, but I must have missed such a lot. Please tell me all about it."
"How could I laugh at you, Lucy?" Jill wrapped an arm around her. "You aren't stupid at all, you just never had a chance. Come on to my room and we'll have a nice long talk."
The woman hurried alongside her with the eagerness of a girl. Watching her, Jill hoped she could find the wisdom and the delicacy to handle the situation properly.
This girl-woman had slept with a husband for more than twenty years and yet she appeared to understand nothing about sex. There was no doubt that she was a virgin. How could she start explaining these things to her? Would she understand even the most basic words? Would she be revolted by what she heard?
Well, Jill old girl, she told herself as she led the woman into her room, you thought you were a real big time operator when you initiated a couple of teenagers into the joys of sex, let's see how you handle a really rough case.