Chapter 7
When Gossard held up his card and said he had a deuce, I very nearly fainted. I didn't dare look at Jim. My little speech in support of Don's plea for admittance of two Negroes in our swap group had blurted out of me on the spur of the moment, fired mostly by Rose's contemptuous remark about another human being. I have always had a profound respect for the human dignity of man, regardless of the color of his skin. And I had been intrigued by the warmth of personality and the handsome appearance of the man in the photograph, had even wondered what it would be like to go to bed with him. I had no idea we were to play sex games tonight; I was looking forward to discussing the matter with Jim on the way home-how would he feel if I were to draw Gossard at our next regular meeting? When Don dismissed us to the mirrored bedroom, I didn't think my wobbly legs would get me as far as the door.
Inside the room, with the door clicked shut behind me, I felt trapped. To give myself a few minutes to recover, I excused myself and entered the bathroom, closing the door. Sitting on the toilet, I stared at myself in the wall mirror opposite. My God! Can I go through with it? I looked at the smooth white skin of my arms and legs and imagined them entwined around his brown body. And I'd be seeing myself in mirrors everywhere I looked. How could I gracefully get out of this? His lips on mine? His dark cock buried in me? Five minutes must have gone by while I sat hopelessly muddling this over. All I could do, I decided, was to go out and talk to him frankly and explain my mixed feelings. Flushing the toilet to explain my delay, I went into the bedroom. Gossard was standing by the door to the living room. He smiled shyly as I approached him.
"Jan, I can understand how you feel. Please believe me, I shall not feel hurt if you tell me you'd rather not go through with this. I'd be delighted just to sit here and talk to you for a couple of hours." His lips parted in a very warm smile. "It isn't often I get the opportunity to enjoy a long conversation with a lovely, bright young lady."
There was a magnetism in his smile and his deep voice that pierced the foggy indecision of my mind. "What do your friends call you? " "Goss. Rhymes with hoss."
"Kiss me, Goss." His arms embraced me and his lips closed over mine, gently, without trace of passion. I waited, expecting his tongue to probe into my mouth, but his lips remained closed. Surprisingly too, his right hand didn't stray from the small of my back. Stepping back, I looked up into his eyes with gratefulness and tenderness. "Would you undress me, please? " He seemed to know where all the concealed zippers, hooks and fasteners were and the working of each. He hung each garment up as he removed it. I stood before him naked and he lifted me easily and deposited me on the bed. I watched him undress. The musculature of his arms, back and chest rippled with his every movement, sending riffles of pleasure through me. Finally, his back turned toward me, he dropped his shorts to reveal muscular thighs and buttocks. He was a magnificent man physically and, as he faced me, I saw he had the full manly complement to complete, the picture. His cock and balls were a match for my Jim's. I hoped Jim had been paired with Marie.
Goss lay down beside me, sliding his left arm under my boulders as our lips met in a warm loving kiss. The tip of my tongue ventured out to trace the outline of his lips and met the tip of his in a delicate thrust and parry. My left hand worked up his back to the nape of his neck and I pulled his face closer as my tongue thrust stiffly into his mouth. He answered my loving tongue with a throb of his huge, thick hard-on into my thigh, and I clung to him, working my titty up against his chest. The man had set very nerve tingling an answer to his warm love. Ooh! I could love this man. OOH! I do love him, OOh! I want to love him all over . . . want him to love me all over.
How much time do we have? I thought of the lettered sign on to be mirror of the cabinet in the bathroom: All games over at 11 p.m. Assemble in living room for sandwiches. "Goss, darling, what time is it? " Cocking his head to the left of my face, he glanced at his wrist watch. "Quarter to nine. You in a hurry, honey?" "Goodness no. There's a sign in the bathroom-we have to be in the living room for sandwiches at eleven." He brushed a kiss across my breast. "To hell with sandwiches. I have the most delicious meat in the world to at right here." His lips brushed down my breast and belly quickly to my pubic mound, then nibbled lightly over my clitoris, sending waves of rippling delights up to my breasts.
"Lie down up here, darling. Just lie still. I want to look us." We both looked up in the mirror, regarding the contrast in our pale and brown stretch of nakedness, my blonde hair spread on the white sheet, my pink aureoles and nipples centering the firm globes of my pale breasts, and the patch of pale gold of my pubic mound; and his nipples, dark pink, in his muscled chest, his dimpled navel in the middle of the flat plane of his belly, his huge thick prick, stiff and pink-capped, a teardrop glistening at the end of it. An hour and forty-five minutes-we'd need four or five hours to get in all the loving I wanted from him, and all I wanted to give him.
"You're thinking," he whispered, smiling up at me.
"Yes. I'm thinking we'll never get it all in tonight."
"No. That's hardly time enough to get started."
My brow furrowed as an idea came to mind.
"You're thinking again," he said with a laugh.
"Are you busy tomorrow, Goss?"
"I'm in business for myself, honey. I'll take the whole day off if you want me to."
"I want you to. Now, darling, love the hell out of me." As he raised up on his elbow to kiss my ears and eyebrows, I thought I'd worry about it later as to a place for a rendezvous. While his lips nibbled behind my ear, and his tongue followed by an exciting invasion into my ear, his fingertips trailed lightly across my eyebrows. Already I could feel the juices flowing in my slit. His tongue brushes down my carotid artery, timed to its pulse, down into my neck, and then his fingers nudging my arm, urging me to turn over.
I lie face down, feel the warmth of his buttocks on my thighs, and the wet slick of the head of his cock on my back as he bends over, his mouth a joy-producing instrument as it works on the soft skin of my back, gently nuzzling up and down in small circles that seem to touch every nerve, down to the small of my back and into the sacral dimples, stiff-tonguing, bringing to life sensory areas hitherto unknown. Down to my buttocks, nibbling, nuzzling, tonguing down into my crack, spreading my cheeks, goes his loving face, warm in my wet perineum, his tongue alive at my anus, and I find myself flipped over on my back, and his tongue is lapping at the lips of my cunt, up and around and around the hood of my clitoris, up over my mound, circling tightly over the outer edge of my belly, up and across and down the outer edge of the other side, back to my clitoris for a maddening minute, then up the center line to my navel.
All the while spasms of delight ripple through me. His lips make love to the tender skin there, then move up across my stomach, to the undersides of my breasts, trace the outer edges up to my armpits and back down and up in the cleft, nibbling and nuzzling my breasts like prized and precious sweets. On to the aureoles, tenderly tracing their outlines with soft tongue that climbs the small mounds of hardened nipples, suckling them lovingly, drawing them up to peaks in his lips, then mouthing down to gorge breast flesh. I hear myself moaning my joy, crying my love, as I feel his knees creeping up on either side, and I look down and his thick cock is in the cleft of my breasts and I press the sides of my breasts to lock his throbbing warmth between them.
Forcing my chin down, I can just see the swollen crown of his cock, dripping with glistening dew, and I open my mouth to tongue its sweetness. With my biceps pressuring against my breast to hold his throbbing cock a captive, I reach around his hips to clasp his buttocks and pull them forward. My lips enfold the coronal ridge, my tongue stiffly working at the sensitive underside.
"Careful, darling, you'll make me come."
I nod my head and suck it in deeper, suckling the warm, wet, throbbing flesh of him, feeling his pulsing manly hardness in my breasts and cleft, the tenseness gathering in his gluteal muscles, in the small of his back, as my hands caress his warm skin. His cock is working in the cleft of my breasts with a slow pulsing rhythm of short strokes because my mouth has swallowed half of this swollen flesh.
"You want me to come like this, darling? " I nod, unwilling to release his cock so my lips may speak. I feel him tense for a moment and I suckle to encourage his coming. I hear his soft inarticulate cry, coincident with the explosive throb in his balls on my chest. I feel the pulsing flow of his semen up his cock and the geyser spurts into my sucking, greedy mouth. I hold him there until I have taken the last drop and his cock falls limply onto my breast. He collapses beside me, and his lips seek mine, his tongue enters my mouth and my tongue laves his and loves it, sharing the viscid vestige of his juices.
"Ooh! You're really something." He is loving me through my skin, his nose and his lips and his tongue speaking a language into the acute nerve-ends in my cheeks. The knowledge of his love spreads instantly through every fibre of my being.
"Oh, lover, darling!" I whisper in his ear. "Where have you been all my life? Just the touch of your flesh on mine sets me afire. Kiss me, kiss me, love me, oh! love me!"
His lips are busy with my nipples, my breasts, my belly, leaving a trail of quivering nerves, down in my pubic hair, his nose spreading the cover from my clitoris. He lies between my outspread legs and I look up into the mirror to see his head moving up and down the inside of my thighs, trembling as his lips and mouth work at them with loving zeal, down into my crotch. His hands under my ass-cheeks raise my pubes, and, overhead, the reflection of my legs upraised, my blonde hair pale above his black curly hair as I feel his lips lapping the dew from cuntal lips, his nose pressed on my clitoris. His hands are brown against the pale white of my calves as he holds them up, bringing my ass up off the sheet. I feel his mouth in the warm wetness of my perineum, and his lips and tongue at my anus bringing it to twitching life, then back up to my cunt, suckling, sucking, all the while keeping pressure on my clitoris ooh! darling, darling ... I talk to him with my lips, making sounds of joyful love while my cunt flows with my love for him .. . from all over my body, his lingual call summons the flow of my love for him, in currents of ever-increasing strength to funnel at last in a great rushing torrent of impetuous delight emptying into the suction of his mouth.
I close my eyes, love-spent, at peace. I feel my love lying beside me, gentling me back to reality with light touch of fingertips.
He kisses me and I lave the lips and chin filmed with my juices his love has drawn from me.
We look up at our reflections, pleased with each other and ourselves, smiling our love, our joy and our satisfaction. With my fingertips, I trace the line of his jaw, and my lips brush my thankfulness on his eyelids, his lips. My breasts feel the ripple of his chest muscles as I lean over him, looking into the pools of his dark eyes, seeing the warm glow. "My darling, my darling," I whisper, "I love you. Ooh! I want more of you. I want you inside of me, that big fat cock of yours loving, spreading, throbbing up in me."
His lips enclose mine, his hands fondle the skin of my back and my buttocks with a magic touch that spreads warmth all through me. He rolls me over and I kiss his ear while I watch our reflection in the mirror, see my white thighs spread out from under his dark brown legs, his hand reach under his belly. I feel the head of his cock probing in the soaking slit of my crotch, then pressing in between the lips of my cunt, demanding entry, throbbing at the threshold. My knees raise up, spreading wider as the pressure of his cock increases. Suddenly, my cuntal lips enclose the coronal ridge and levator muscles close around it in loving welcome. "Kiss me, love," he says softly, holding it there. I open my mouth to his tongue as I release his cock and it pushes slowly into me, filling my vaginal barrel, swelling against the walls, sinking into my depths. My anus twitches a greeting to his balls. Nibbling at his ear, I can see our reflection again and I lift my legs up over the small of his back, pulling his cock into me. I thrill to the sight of his brown ass-cheeks as his gluteal muscles work rhythmically in slow thrust and withdrawal, my white legs meshed with his movements.
We hum a low joyous duet of tuneless sound as my ass rises to meet his loving thrust, clamps a ring of inner muscle around the base of his cock, my heels holding it deep within me while it throbs a kiss up beyond my uterus, then releasing to thrill to his bulging withdrawal until muscles clasp around the pulsing ridge ... ah! what delight! To enfold this happy, hardy lover, stirring from the depths of me waves of delirious joy in my breasts, my back, my belly, even down in my toes, calves, thighs. I feel the waves beginning to crest and roll and my legs over his back drag him into me in increasing tempo as I sense the fullness of my delight rushing through me and his answering thrusts pounding into me. My mouth opens to suck in his tongue and we come as one, his semen spurting into me as I thrash and roll and buck, releasing all tension in successive paroxysms of delirious joy.
"Oh, you precious, lovely thing, you!" He is kissing my nipples lightly, his fingers stroking my belly, while I trail idle fingers in a light caress down his back.
"What time is it, darling?"
"Ten-twenty, my sweet."
"Would you run water in the tub, please?"
"Certainly." He kissed me and was gone.
Where can I meet him tomorrow? A motel would be too dangerous. At his place? I didn't want to go into a colored neighborhood. Why not have him come out to the house?
"Okay, honey." He was back beside the bed. Stooping over, he lifted me as easily as I would a broom and carried me into the bathroom. The tub was a third full.
"That's enough water. I don't want to get my hair wet." While he turned off the taps, I sat on the toilet.
When he turned around and saw me, he grinned sheepishly. "Just a minute, honey, I'll leave."
"No. Come over here, please." I pulled him down, straddling my knees, and kissed his chest.
"I have to pee too."
"Go ahead, darling, I want to learn what it feels like." We kissed as our flow started together. His urine spread widely and warm over my pubic hair, down the sides of my crotch, trickling into my crack and dribbling into the bowl.
"Save some of yours for me," he said, standing up. When we had reversed positions, he put his arms around me. "I'll be damned. I never thought I'd find another person who enjoys this. Where did you learn it, honey? No," he chuckled, "don't answer that. Just pee." He nibbled at my nipples while I released the last of my urine. "Damn, I love the feel of that. Freud holds that it's a throwback to infantile joys. Whatever it is, I love it, and I'm glad to see that you do."
We had trouble getting into the tub together, with his long legs to accommodate, but we had as much fun as two kids splashing in the flow from a fire hydrant. We were dressed by ten to eleven.
"About tomorrow, can you come to my house, say at eight-thirty or nine? " "Jan, honey, do you think that's wise?"
"Yes. There will be nobody to bother us. We live on a secluded street on a corner lot. No one can see the driveway from next door or across the street. Drive up slowly. If the garage door is up, drive right in. I'll be watching for you, and close the door as soon as your car is in the garage. If the garage door is closed, it will mean that Jim hasn't left yet. Drive past for a mile or so, and come back in half an hour. Can you be there at nine?"
"Honey, right on the dot."
"Do you have a card and pen? Good. I'll write down the address. And here's the phone number. Be sure to call if you can't make it."
"I'll be there, darling." He kissed me on the cheek.
There was no one in the living room at eleven, but within minutes, Don entered, followed by a white-coated waiter, carrying a large tray of coffee pots and sandwiches. Helen came in a few minutes later. We were all hungry and Don urged us to help ourselves.
In about fifteen minutes, Jim and Rose entered from the studio. I was disappointed to learn that Jim had not paired up with Marie. He appeared solemn and Rose looked as though she had been crying. Good Lord! I thought, I hope that big prick of his hadn't hurt her. Jim came over to the coffee table, smiled a greeting to me, rather sickly, I thought, and shrugged his shoulders slightly. He helped himself to a sandwich and coffee and sat down on the sofa beside me. Rose seated herself in a chair in the corner, but she refused Don's offer to bring her a sandwich.
I leaned close to Jim. "You didn't hurt her, did you, dear? " I whispered.
"No. I'll explain later."
With Rose watching the door in glum silence, the atmosphere became tense and explosive. Finally, at ten to twelve, Milt and Marie made their appearance.
"Sorry, folks, I guess we're late. My watch must have stopped. Anybody got the right time?" Milt's voice and manner were overly casual.
"Help yourselves to sandwiches and. coffee on the table,"Don suggested.
"Thanks," Milt replied, "but Rose and I have to run. Don, this was a lovely evening, an extra dividend, so to speak. Why don't you all come out to our house Saturday night? Are you all agreed? " No one objected.
"Fine, then, our place, eight o'clock, Saturday. Come on, Rose. Good night, everybody." Nodding her head slightly, she followed him out.
Helen Conrad sat down in the lounge chair to my right and as we started on the subject of women's clothes, Jim excused himself, filled his coffee cup, then walked over to chat with Marie. I was glad to note his face light up with pleasure as they talked. He must have had a rough time with Rose.
Don had shown the Hubbards out, and on his return, asked if anyone wanted a brandy nightcap.
"We have to run, Don," Jim told him. "We'll just make the last train home as it is. Good night, everybody. Enjoyed meeting you, Goss, Marie. See you all Saturday night."
On the train ride home, Jim explained that Rose had been frightfully upset with a Negro couple's admission to the group. "She was born in Alabama. There's bound to be trouble."
At home, as we undressed for bed, Jim was silent and deeply thoughtful. Knowing what was on his mind, I too was silent. Let him bring it up. When I finally slipped into bed beside him, I was ready for his question. He sat up and turned toward me, his large gray eyes studying me for a minute or two.
"Darling, I'm sorry. I should have done something. I tried to catch your eye. I.. . " "What are you talking about?"
"That must have been a horrible experience for you . . . going to bed with a Negro."
"Oh my God!" I laughed. "Have you ever been in that room: He looked at me quizzically, but didn't answer. "We didn't go to bed. We sat on the bed." "You mean you didn't..."
"No, we didn't. Goss Jenkins is one of the most understanding, one of the most thoughtful gentlemen I have ever met."
"He never laid a hand on you? " "When we entered that room, I was so nervous and upset, he told me he knew exactly how I felt. I told him I hadn't expected they would play games, that I had expected to talk such a situation over with you before . . . " He shook his head. "Goddamn! He is a gentleman. I must remember to thank him. So you just sat and talked for two hours."
"Exactly. I've never met a finer gentleman."
He leaned over and kissed me good night. "Thank God! I was so worried about you all evening. Good night, darling." He turned off the light.
I lay quiet in the dark for a few minutes, waiting a decent interval for my lie to fade away. "Jim, after my long talk with Goss, I think I have a much better understanding of the problem of the black man."
"Yes, quite a problem," he mumbled.
"I think it's up to individuals to do what we can toward bringing the races closer together ... people like you and me."
"Yes, darling," he muttered sleepily. "I'm ready to do my part."