Chapter 11
Lowell's eyes narrowed and his lips peeled back from his teeth in what Judy thought of fleetingly as a death-mask grin. There was nothing but cold malice in his expression.
His voice was soft and even. "I don't ever try to scare anybody, puss. I'm going to kill you."
"Lowell! Why? Why?"
"They always do it that way in fiction, don't they. The bad guy's always got some kind of hang-up so he tells the victim the whole damn plot before he starts to kill her. Well, this isn't a story. And I don't feel you have to know why you're dying."
"Lowell! That's not fair! Lowell, no!"
"Nothing's fair when you're dying. It isn't fair to have to die! Ever!"
"Oh, please, please! Ohhh, no!"
Her eyes twitched. Her gaze darted about for some kind of hope. Lowell shook his head.
"Forget it, baby. You're as good as dead right now."
"No! Oh, no!" She whispered it, over and over, as if whispering it would cancel out the reality of his intent. M "Might as well get back up to your apartment.
She dodged around the end of the bookcase and sprinted toward the side door. Lowell cursed and sprang after her. She didn't even reach the end of the aisle before his hand closed in her hair. He stopped and jerked her off her feet. Holding her up by her hair he struck her in the face.
"Don't do that, you stupid shit! It's useless!" He jammed his hand over her mouth as she opened it to scream. "You've been screaming for a half hour. Nobody heard you. This is the library, remember?"
She stared into his eyes and knew the truth. She was looking into death. Lowell's eyes were simply windows onto the empty, cold void of death, itself. Neither mercy, nor anger, nor emotion, itself, lay beyond them-merely the formless lack of life. She knew she would not die calmly or bravely; she would panic and fight the end of breathing and feeling and knowing. But for a moment she had the grace of awareness and brief self-control. She had to take whatever desperate advantage she could of that self-control to wrest some small advantage from the situation-some small chance to continue living. She nodded to show she understood the futility of screaming and Lowell grimly removed his palm from her lips.
"Now. We're going back to your apartment. I'm coming back here after you're dead to get rid of your clothes, so you can leave them here. Just get over to that cupboard. You can walk-you know you're not going to get away by running."
She walked silently to the closet, Lowell close behind. It was still open and he shoved her inside.
"Turn around."
She obeyed.
"I'm going to gag you. I don't want to disturb Mother."
She tensed.
"If you fight me over the gag, I'll use it to strangle you. I'll have a little problem getting rid of your body, but I can manage that-and you won't be worrying about it by then."
She trembled while he gagged her. The knot at the back of her head was tight; she sensed his strain while he secured it.
"I'm going to open the panel now. You're going to climb the ladder ahead of me and wait on the platform. You know it takes two hands to keep your balance on the ladder. And I'm going to be too close behind you for you to get the panel open at the top and get away from me. Get your ass in gear."
She started to climb. The makeshift rungs hurt her feet and ruined any hope she could outrace him to the top. There was the platform, of course. He was at least four rungs behind-well, maybe only three-and the planks were loose. If she swung herself onto the platform smoothly and quickly, she might be able to get the first plank loose and batter him off the ladder with it. She tried desperately to remember exactly how the plank lay, to rehearse her defense. And her head passed the level of the platform.
Every muscle quivered with readiness. When her knees were at the level of the platform she leaped, thrusting with her arms at the same time. She landed awkwardly, spun and seized the plank Lowell was groping for. A sob of relief caught in her throat when it came away in her hands. She swung it up, then lashed out with it.
"Yow! You Goddamn little hell-cat! Let go of that thing!"
She swung again, hampered by the poor light and cramped space. The board was snatched from her hands and she heard it clattering as it fell. A moment later, Lowell rocked her head with a vicious backhand blow.
"Stupid bitch! I ought to knock you off the platform!"
Instead, he thrust at the panel lever and shoved her through her closet into her bedroom. Even as she stumbled into the light, he seized her by the hair and swung her toward the bed. Flinging her onto it, face down, he knelt astride her back and bound her hands behind her. Quickly, then, he lashed her ankles together and carried her to the bathroom.
"Sarah's going to think it's a hell of a time for you to be taking a bath, but there's no way she can check up on you." He muttered under his breath. "That's one advantage of having an invalid next door."
He turned on both faucets and started filling the tub. Without glancing at Judy, he dropped onto the closed toilet cover and rested his head in his hands.
"Be glad when all this shit is over. Getting so a guy can't even pick his own time."
Judy struggled with her bonds. She knew she had no more chances. If he got her into the tub before she could get away, she was as good as dead. She could feel no slack in the lashings. They didn't cut into her flesh; she was going to show no evidence of having been tied-unless her last struggles tore the flesh. But neither was there enough slack to offer any hope. She wasn't going to escape the fate Lowell had planned for her. She was going to die, as Colleen had died.
It wasn't fair, she told herself. Things that weren't fair just didn't happen! But they did, of course. It hadn't been fair for Colleen to die, either. But at least Lowell had tripled his share of Oliver's estate by killing Colleen. Even if somebody should come forward with proof that Judy was Colleen's child-and therefore, Oliver's grandchild-Lowell wouldn't lose that much.
It seemed a fruitless exercise in logic. She wondered that he hadn't decided to do away with Edith. If the money meant that much to him his sister ought to offer a tempting target. And she shivered. He still had time, maybe he meant to.
She jerked convulsively when he touched her.
He chuckled. "Don't get jumpy. Just getting another little feel while I've got the chance. Takes a long time to fill that tub. Oversized son of a bitch."
He caressed her naked flesh and she was conscious of an extra sense of loss. She hadn't had long to enjoy the wonderful things about sex. Some of the things she'd experienced, she'd never have wanted to repeat...like this afternoon with Lowell. Some, she'd thought were the beginning of a new kind of life. There was Mike, for example.
Mike was something terribly special. She knew that now, when it was too late. Perhaps she was lucky to know it at all; she'd disliked him so much at first. He was far more special than their blood relationship. If he and Colleen were half-brother and sister that made him some kind of uncle. But they would have meant far more than that to each other. They'd have meant as much as Lowell did to Edith, at least. And like Lowell and Edith, of course, it would have been a relationship they enjoyed when the opportunities arose and held in the privacy of their own emotions the rest of the time.
She wouldn't have lived with Mike, she realized. It was the first time she'd seen that part of it clearly. She wouldn't have wanted to live with him. She would have wanted to know a lot of men. She would most likely have settled down with one of them. But she'd have wanted to know Mike was there, somewhere, and that they'd be together once in a while.
It was too late to think about that; she was only torturing herself. She was wasting time she might use to come up with an idea for saving her life. But she knew that was no longer possible. There were no chances left. She couldn't even try to persuade Lowell; the gag was as effective against that as against her arousing Sarah. She could lash out at the wall or the tub with her feet, but she'd heard a noise like that the night Colleen had been murdered and had done nothing about it. Besides, with Lowell as close as he was, she probably wouldn't even hit the tub once.
The horrible reality swept over her. She had no chance! She'd known this moment would come. She'd known she would reach a point where all the strength of reason, habit, and civilized behavior would crumble to leave nothing but the primitive will to survive. And it came to her now.
It didn't matter if she could only kick the tub once! It didn't matter if she'd be wiser to wait until he turned off the faucets! It didn't matter that kicking was absolutely hopeless! She was going to die and humans-plain, ordinary, young humans who hadn't really done any living yet-just weren't built to accept this kind of death calmly!
She drew her knees toward her slowly, trying to make it look as if she merely felt uncomfortable.
She saw she'd attracted Lowell's attention, even with that simple movement. She saw him stir, sensed he was thinking ahead of her. With frantic strength she lashed out and smashed her heels against the side of the tub.
He kicked her legs clear of the tub immediately, but her body snapped to a frenzied beat, spring-like. She struck the floor with her feet-with her knees-with her head and her hips. And Lowell clutched at her and yanked her into the air and shook her, one hand full of her hair, the other thrust between her thighs, his wrist crushing the soft tissues of her pussy.
"You idiot," he muttered. "You Goddamn rabbit! Isn't there any dignity in the whole human race any more? Why let yourself look like a rat in a trap, for Christ's sake?"
She had no way to reply, no way to make him understand how little the cultural veneer mattered to the victim of an unjust killing. But she could show him his disgust didn't have any effect on her. She continued to snap her body in his grip. She fought to get her feet into a position where she could kick him or her head where she could butt him. She ignored the agony of being suspended by her hair and her pussy and fought him with every shred of energy she could muster.
"Lowell?"
Judy wondered if she might already be going out of her mind with panic. That might make her hear voices...like Sarah's.
"Lowell Blake!" It was Sarah!
Lowell's fingers loosened and Judy crashed to the floor. She twisted to see Sarah standing outside the bathroom, her eyes taking in the whole ugly scene and her fingers working angrily.
"Lowell..." Her voice was soft and sorrowful now. "I did wonder, I think. But it just couldn't be you, Son. Not you. If it were you, I'd wasted so much of life."
Judy could see Lowell's face. It worked powerfully, its expression running from his original horrified disbelief to a sort of wild panic and now to resignation.
"How does a person waste life?" he asked his mother. "You bore me and you raised me. You let me survive until I was old enough and knew enough to survive without you. That's what a parent does."
"A parent builds, Son. She doesn't simply make it possible for her child to survive. She helps him build a universe of values."
"No! Every human determines his own values! A parent can't go beyond showing how she thinks they ought to be determined! A parent can't play God!"
"Nobody can play God. Killing is playing God."
"Killing is part of survival. And survival is life."
"If that's what you believe, I'm glad I came in."
Lowell shook his head and looked momentarily confused. "Yeah! How did you do that? You can't even get on the bedpan by yourself!"
"No matter, Son. I came in. I was in time. I wouldn't have wanted you to kill Judy."
He clenched his teeth. "You're too late." His inner struggle was clearly visible in his features. "You've got to go, too. Because you came in."
"Son!"
"You're going to die anyway in a matter of a few more days. It ... it can't be any other way. It'll be just like it would if we waited. Come on. I'll get back to Judy."
He stepped over Judy, ignoring her attempt to smash her bound feet into his groin. He took Sarah's arm and turned her toward her room. "I'm sorry, Mother."
Judy flung herself across the floor to reach the wall. She couldn't let Lowell kill his mother! She knew if she couldn't attract help he'd kill Sarah, then herself, and then Edith. Having killed within his own family once, the only real obstacle to Edith's murder would be gone. She pounded her feet against the wall, sick at heart when she found how little noise she was making. Lowell glanced over his shoulder with a silent sneer and shepherded his mother toward her own room.
No, Lowell! For God's sake, anything but that! Judy cried out in her mind against the enormity of the crime Lowell was about to commit.
As if he'd heard a noise Judy did not, Lowell whirled suddenly. He stared toward Judy's closet, out of her line of sight, and his eyes narrowed in fury.
"What the hell!" he demanded.
"Sarah!" Cal's voice sounded startled.
Mike was there, too. His tone was grim and threatening. "Okay, you bastard! Where's Judy?"
Lowell hesitated. Judy suspected he was groping vainly for some way to salvage the situation. He couldn't do it by force, she knew-not with each of the other men outclassing him physically as they did. He nodded his head toward Judy.
"In there."
Mike came through the bathroom door so fast he stumbled to his knees trying to avoid stepping on her. His eyes blazed with rage and his fingers trembled while he jerked at the knots Lowell had tied.
"Did he hurt you, honey? You okay?"
She wailed. "I ... I'm okay, Mike! Oh, God, how did you know?"
"You're sure you're okay? That son of a bitch really didn't hurt you?"
"Oh, Mike! Oh, honey, I'm okay!"
He scooped her into his arms and carried her to her bed. Lowering her gently, he snarled at Cal.
"Better get that murdering bastard out of here. In about five seconds I'm going to find out what he'd held together with."
Cal grunted. "You willing to leave him alone with me? Man, you got holes in your head! I flat don't trust myself!"
Mike straightened. He reached for a robe and handed it to Judy while he glared at Lowell. "Look, you slimy prick! Sit down in that chair! If you twitch an eyebrow, I'm personally going to feed you your own balls!"
Lowell dropped into the chair. As his weight left his feet he appeared to collapse, as if all the internal structure had disintegrated.
Judy repeated her original question. "How did you get here, Mike? What made you both come? And why the secret ladder?"
He sighed and started to grin. "There's something about a woman makes her always ready with a question, isn't there?"
Judy pleaded. "Come on, Mike!" And then, before he could reply, she begged, "Cal! Do something about Sarah! She can't just stand around like that!"
"Then I'll sit down on your bed, dear." Sarah made her way slowly toward Judy.
Cal helped her gently. Judy pulled her robe around herself and scrambled off the bed. With one hand, she turned down the covers.
"Get her into there," she ordered. "She's had a shock."
While Cal got Sarah settled, Judy helping with an occasional deft touch, Mike tried to answer the questions she'd asked.
"It got to be suppertime and you two didn't show. Edith said Lowell was trying to calm you down-that you'd gotten hysterical or something. And it hit me I'd seen Lowell come around the end of the stacks." He shook his head. "No way he could have gotten there but down that ladder. I'd been looking for something in the cupboards just a couple of minutes earlier. Only when I went back to the library the doors were locked. It takes a few minutes to get in when they're locked from the inside. And I wanted Cal along just in case I embarrassed anybody."
He grinned and Judy smiled gently at him. It was a ticklish business hunting for any couple in this house when amusement was so widely distributed.
"Well, we found some clothes. And some pieces of rope. And a belt. But no Lowell or Judy. That meant you'd come back up here-and the only way was the ladder again." He scowled. "Didn't seem natural to either one of us you'd leave a pretty dress like that blue thing down there, even for a few minutes. And when I opened the panel we heard water running."
He glared at Lowell. "Funny thing, man. The pipes run right along that wall, just outside the secret shaft. And there was a board at the bottom. So we shag-assed up here."
Judy nodded slowly. It all seemed so much like lurk And yet every step had been almost inevitable. Edith had been angry, enough she'd resent Lowell's being late to the table because he was shacking up with Judy. The clothes and the rope had been the result of Lowell's haste. The bath water and the board at the bottom of the shaft...
"All because of one lucky coincidence!" she exclaimed softly.
"Huh? What coincidence?" asked Mike. "You being in the library."
He shook his head. "That was no coincidence. That was me putting things off. Tonight's the end of the sixty days." He glanced at Sarah. "Bentley's supposed to be out here with the papers of transfer about eight. Only I wasn't ready for him."
"You? What did you have to do?"
"Father had left sealed instructions for me. They changed a lot when Colleen...when Colleen died. That meant I had to find a particular group of journals, and you know what that's like, the way Father camouflaged everything. I was trying to root them out this afternoon."
"I ... Mike, I think I've read every one of those journals of his. I've got them all sorted out. Maybe I can help you."
He sighed. "I don't know. I found everything but what I was looking for. I'm beginning to think he stuck those somewhere else. He might even have gotten rid of them. I would have in his shoes. No need for them with Colleen alive."
"They're not all where he had them piled. It was easier to sort them if they were on the shelves, Mike."
"Hey! Maybe we'll be ready for Bentley after all!"
Edith came through Sarah's room. "Mother!
Where's Mother! Mother, what's wrong?"
Sarah shook her head. "Later, dear."
Edith glared around the room. "Everybody here forget there was a tableful of food downstairs? Get the hell down there and eat!" She turned on Judy. "If you've had enough fun and games, that is. Maybe you ought to put on some clothes. That robe doesn't leave much to the imagination."
Judy resisted the temptation to lash out at her. "I guess we ought to get Sarah back in her room before we do anything else," she suggested.
They did so, Sarah insisting Edith curb her curiosity for the moment.
But Edith announced she'd stay with her mother while the others ate. "I ate mine. Damned if I was going to eat it cold!"
The three men went downstairs. Judy dressed, selecting a jade-green duplicate of the powder-blue dress she'd worn earlier. And she joined the others in the dining room. The atmosphere was badly strained during the meal, Lowell showing little interest in the foor and his morose silence effectively dampening everyone else's inclination to talk. And after dinner, Cal announced quietly that he and Lowell would play a few hands of gin in the living room.
Judy went to the library with Mike.